1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:20,290 I'd like to apologize to Oscar and the meeting. I wish I could offer you a legitimate excuse, but I can't because I have no idea what all those people are talking about. 2 00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:26,290 Anyway, I'm here, but I didn't see anybody raising their hands for a little bit of PR. I'm just going to go ahead and give this to you. I'd like to walk you out the door. 3 00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:37,290 You know, I have a very, very good life today, another type of life. I didn't even know I wanted this life, this good life. I had no idea how to get this life, you know. 4 00:00:37,290 --> 00:00:43,290 Also, if you're new, I know when I was new, I thought they paid the speaker, you know. They don't pay the speaker. 5 00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:47,290 And when I'm done with this, you'll say, well, hell, I wouldn't pay for that either. 6 00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:54,290 You know, basically, I have no authority. First of all, I was born and raised in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. There's no reason. 7 00:00:54,290 --> 00:01:06,290 I have great parents. My parents, they were married for like 53 years, you know, and I had three other brothers and two sisters. 8 00:01:06,290 --> 00:01:12,290 And my parents, they were very religious people, and they would go to church every Sunday. 9 00:01:12,290 --> 00:01:18,290 Needless to say, we had to attend church also on Sundays. On Mondays, I had choir rehearsal. 10 00:01:18,290 --> 00:01:22,290 I had to join the choir, and I cannot sing, you know. 11 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,290 So I had to join the choir. 12 00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:24,290 So I had to join the choir. 13 00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:26,290 And on Wednesdays, the prayer meeting. 14 00:01:26,290 --> 00:01:31,290 And Thursdays, I don't remember, but it seemed like we were always in church, you know. 15 00:01:31,290 --> 00:01:33,290 My parents, like I said, very, very good people. 16 00:01:33,290 --> 00:01:35,290 I love my parents. 17 00:01:35,290 --> 00:01:41,290 My father, it just seemed to me, Dad would tell us certain things he didn't want us doing. 18 00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:47,290 And it seemed to me, everything that was fun to do, it seemed like it was a sin to do. 19 00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:49,290 Like the blues. 20 00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:50,290 I love the blues. 21 00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:51,290 I love that music. 22 00:01:51,290 --> 00:01:53,290 I remember my parents said, there will be no singing the blues. 23 00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:54,290 They say, that's sinning music. 24 00:01:54,290 --> 00:01:55,290 You will not sing that in here. 25 00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:56,290 And I was quite young when I was looking at my mother. 26 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,290 And I asked her, you mean, if I sing the blues, I'm going to go to hell? 27 00:01:57,290 --> 00:01:58,290 She says, that's right. 28 00:01:58,290 --> 00:01:59,290 I said, well, I just have to go to hell, because I like the blues. 29 00:01:59,290 --> 00:02:00,290 My father also. 30 00:02:00,290 --> 00:02:01,290 I have never, never seen either of my parents like alcohol. 31 00:02:01,290 --> 00:02:02,290 There was never any alcohol in my home. 32 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,290 My mother didn't even want. 33 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,290 You know. 34 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,290 My father, he told us, you know, like I said, there was four of us. 35 00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:06,290 I had three brothers. 36 00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:07,290 There were four boys. 37 00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:08,290 He spent a lot of time with us. 38 00:02:08,290 --> 00:02:09,290 And Dad would tell us, he said, you know, I don't want you boys out there drinking. 39 00:02:09,290 --> 00:02:10,290 He said, I don't want you out there cussing. 40 00:02:10,290 --> 00:02:11,290 He said, don't look nice for a young man to be squaring up there. 41 00:02:11,290 --> 00:02:12,290 I don't want you boys doing that. 42 00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:13,290 Dad said, that's pesky. 43 00:02:13,290 --> 00:02:14,290 You know, Mr. Stanley. 44 00:02:14,290 --> 00:02:15,290 There was a guy named Mr. Stanley that lived in America. 45 00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:16,290 I met him in 2000. 46 00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:17,290 He said, now, I'm going to give you the younger. 47 00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:18,290 I've got the younger you're going to be. 48 00:02:18,290 --> 00:02:19,290 I'm going to give you the younger you're going to be. 49 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:20,290 So he was there for the rest of his life. 50 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:21,290 He used to be a doctor. 51 00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:22,290 He was a doctor. 52 00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:24,270 He spent a lot of time with us. 53 00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:28,130 And Dad would tell us, he said, you know, I don't want you boys out there drinking. 54 00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:30,150 He said, I don't want you out there cussing. 55 00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:32,850 He said, it doesn't look nice for a young man to be swearing up there. 56 00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:34,110 I don't want you boys doing that. 57 00:02:34,230 --> 00:02:35,330 Dad said, that's risky. 58 00:02:35,550 --> 00:02:39,130 You know, Mr. Stanley, that was a guy named Mr. Stanley that lived in my neighborhood. 59 00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:41,050 Mr. Stanley was a real drunk. 60 00:02:41,490 --> 00:02:44,730 You know, Mr. Stanley was always very dirty, very smelly. 61 00:02:44,950 --> 00:02:46,790 Always had a half pint of booze in his back. 62 00:02:47,070 --> 00:02:48,850 He never walked straight. 63 00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:54,070 You know, it wasn't uncommon to see Mr. Stanley laying over in the ditch, you know, holding a nap, rather. 64 00:02:54,430 --> 00:02:57,070 You know, my father said, that's what whiskey will do for you. 65 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,150 You don't want to grow up to be like Mr. Stanley. 66 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,510 I remember that very well. 67 00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:04,170 That was my idea then of somebody having a problem with alcohol. 68 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:10,830 And my father also, when he told us he doesn't want us to drink, he had to know that my father believed in capital punishment, you know. 69 00:03:10,950 --> 00:03:13,530 So that was another reason for me not to drink, you know. 70 00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:15,450 I really did for many years. 71 00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:17,510 I was an athlete. 72 00:03:17,710 --> 00:03:18,590 I played basketball. 73 00:03:18,590 --> 00:03:19,130 I played football. 74 00:03:19,270 --> 00:03:19,830 I ran track. 75 00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:21,730 And my best sport was baseball, you know. 76 00:03:21,890 --> 00:03:23,430 And I was told I was a youngster. 77 00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:26,890 But if you're going to participate in sports, you don't drink and you don't smoke. 78 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,310 So I didn't do either. 79 00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:31,430 You know, I just participated in the sports and had a great time. 80 00:03:31,730 --> 00:03:37,010 Now, the first drink I ever remember taking was my last year in high school, getting ready to graduate. 81 00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:42,250 And they were having a dance in the gymnasium that night, a big dance, final dance of the year. 82 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:44,190 And I went and I was with my friends. 83 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,850 And they all got together and said, Rob, you've never had a drink with us. 84 00:03:46,930 --> 00:03:48,230 Someone didn't have a drink with us. 85 00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:48,570 Someone didn't. 86 00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:49,610 I was going away to college. 87 00:03:50,010 --> 00:03:51,370 Someone was going away to the military. 88 00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:53,090 Let's just have a great time. 89 00:03:53,190 --> 00:03:54,550 You're the first who got the best of me. 90 00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:56,490 And they passed a bottle of wine over to me. 91 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,450 And I remember taking a big swig of that wine. 92 00:03:58,590 --> 00:04:00,450 And I remember how it made me feel. 93 00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:04,510 I walked into that gymnasium where the music was playing, you know. 94 00:04:04,650 --> 00:04:06,170 And that music sounded so good. 95 00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:08,270 And my whole body was kind of moving, you know. 96 00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:13,650 I felt then in those days, I felt that I was too shy to talk to girls there. 97 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:16,530 But what I know today is I was so obsessed. 98 00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:17,210 That's what it was. 99 00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:18,310 You know. 100 00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:18,550 So. 101 00:04:18,710 --> 00:04:19,850 That music was playing. 102 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:20,930 And I looked over to her. 103 00:04:20,930 --> 00:04:22,510 And I thought I was a pretty girl in there. 104 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:22,850 You know. 105 00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:24,110 And I asked her if she wanted to dance. 106 00:04:24,210 --> 00:04:25,030 And she said yes. 107 00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:26,910 So we stroll out there on the floor. 108 00:04:26,990 --> 00:04:29,110 And I'll never forget that record that was playing. 109 00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:32,050 It was this record by Smoky Robinson and the Miracles. 110 00:04:32,430 --> 00:04:33,730 You really got to hold on. 111 00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:35,090 I'm just messed up, you know. 112 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,150 And we just dancing. 113 00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:38,710 And I'm just whispering sweet nothings in the music. 114 00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:42,010 And I'm like, man, no wonder Dad didn't want me to drink that stuff. 115 00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:42,270 You know. 116 00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:43,810 It was a great time. 117 00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:45,950 The music had ended up still locked up there. 118 00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:48,470 You know. 119 00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:49,670 I never forgot. 120 00:04:50,630 --> 00:04:54,080 I left high school and I went to baseball school. 121 00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:56,020 And I would go to school. 122 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,180 I would play baseball. 123 00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:59,480 And before I had dances or whatever. 124 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,260 I remember. 125 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:01,900 I remember that one incident. 126 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,020 I started talking to Edward Corkwell about drinking beer. 127 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:05,400 You know. 128 00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:06,280 Everything was cool. 129 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,240 It just made me. 130 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:11,380 I didn't know that alcohol didn't affect everybody that way. 131 00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:12,240 I had no clue. 132 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:15,520 During that time, the Vietnam War was going on also. 133 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,080 And they were drafting young men into the military. 134 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,360 They got drafted into. 135 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,820 The military, you're going to go to the Army and you're going to go to Vietnam. 136 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,300 If you were in school, you could get a deferred. 137 00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:28,120 So for some reason, I didn't think I had enough stuff. 138 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,280 There wasn't a lot of work in Arkansas. 139 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:34,580 So what I would do, I would drop out of school and move to Chicago. 140 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:38,980 I start working there, you know, get to work and buy myself some nice clothes and everything. 141 00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:42,640 And then I got a letter from the draft board and they said, well, Robert, what are you doing? 142 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,440 I rushed back to Arkansas and I had to enroll in school. 143 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:49,240 I said, well, I'm in school, you know, and I had played this game for about four years, you know, finally. 144 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:56,920 So you hear about order, a report for induction into the United States Army, and I thought, I cannot do that because they're going to send me. 145 00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:00,760 So I rushed down to the Air Force office and volunteered to the Air Force. 146 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:06,160 I volunteered for the Air Force and the Air Force was really good duty. 147 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:11,520 And my first assignment was in Amarillo, Texas, both basic training and tech school. 148 00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:13,100 I'll never go to Amarillo. 149 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,040 I don't like Amarillo. 150 00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:16,000 It's not fun. 151 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:17,680 I don't ever forget the first time. 152 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:18,080 Yeah. 153 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:18,200 Yeah. 154 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:18,500 Yeah. 155 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:18,540 Yeah. 156 00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:18,600 Yeah. 157 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:18,660 Yeah. 158 00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:18,680 Yeah. 159 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:18,700 Yeah. 160 00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:18,720 Yeah. 161 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:18,780 Yeah. 162 00:06:18,780 --> 00:06:19,220 Yeah. 163 00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:20,700 Weekend pass. 164 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,420 I got together with a bunch of guys. 165 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,040 You know, we went downtown. 166 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,460 What do we do? 167 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:26,220 We go into the bar. 168 00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:29,400 We started drinking and it was just a lot of fun. 169 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,720 You know, just a lot of fun. 170 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,240 I had no clue anything was going on. 171 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,960 You know, I finished the training down then. 172 00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:38,140 I mean, I stationed out at Edwards Air Force Base. 173 00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:41,740 Good duty assignment, because I had a brother and a sister living down here in Los Angeles. 174 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:47,560 So I was at Edwards Air Force Base and I used to come down to visit my sister down in Los Angeles. 175 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:49,220 And she introduced me to a young lady. 176 00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:55,540 about six months later, the young lady and I got married. And it was a year later, my first son, 177 00:06:55,660 --> 00:07:02,660 Demetrius, was born. And that's when I got sent to Vietnam. Demetrius was seven weeks old. I 178 00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:07,840 received my orders to go to Vietnam. And I'll tell you something about that. By this time, 179 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:14,260 I'd already lost some classmates, really good friends in that war. And I was really afraid to 180 00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:19,100 go to Vietnam because I knew with every fiber of my being that I was going to get killed over 181 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:23,760 there. Any time I had a feeling that strong, things would happen. I just knew I wouldn't make 182 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:28,640 the same. But I couldn't tell anybody that I'm afraid to go to Vietnam because I'm supposed to 183 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:33,980 be a man, whatever that is. I couldn't let you know I'm afraid. So I ended up, I didn't have a 184 00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:38,500 choice. I went to Vietnam. And when we first arrived, we stepped off the plane. And I was 185 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:43,860 put there with a couple of guys. We went to the Airmen's Club. And I remember what alcohol did 186 00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:48,820 to me, sitting in that airman's club. It made me forget I was in a war zone when you listen to that 187 00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:49,080 moment. 188 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:55,460 And just having a great time. Alcohol was working for me. I'm really, really grateful for that at 189 00:07:55,460 --> 00:07:59,820 that time. I was pretty fortunate. I only had to stay in Vietnam for about three or four months 190 00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:04,160 because I had a brother, Benny, who was a little bit older than I. And he came to Vietnam so that 191 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:08,180 I could leave. Because during those days, two brothers didn't have to leave. My brother came 192 00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:13,840 specifically so I could leave. And I'll never forget him for that. So I left Vietnam and I 193 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:18,660 got assigned to a station in Thailand. And when I arrived in Thailand, I wasn't really 194 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:24,140 clear on what my job was. And I found out the commanding officer wasn't real clear on it either. 195 00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:30,440 You know, so what I did, I asked a lifer in there. And I said, listen, I'm not clear what I'm supposed 196 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:35,340 to be doing. He got me the suggestion. He said, what do you do? He says, put a pencil behind your 197 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:44,350 ear, put a clipboard in your hand, and always walk like you're going someplace. You know, 198 00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:49,250 while in Thailand, we could go downtown every night. I was not awful. 199 00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:55,330 I never thought of anything of it back in the day when I was going downtown. But every night that I 200 00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:59,850 went downtown, I always had two bottles of booze in my hand. And everybody that was hanging with 201 00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:03,690 me had two bottles of booze. I wasn't going to hang around with guys when I'd have booze. We'd 202 00:09:03,690 --> 00:09:07,170 always come back without it. I just thought there was nothing wrong with it. I remember I used to 203 00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:12,170 take pictures downtown and write letters to my wife and send these pictures back to her. 204 00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:16,050 And I remember she looked at the pictures and she wrote me a letter. And she said, 205 00:09:16,050 --> 00:09:19,270 Robert, what are you doing? Are you drinking yourself to death? Every time I send a, 206 00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:22,970 you know, picture home, there's booze on the table. I just stopped sending her pictures. 207 00:09:22,970 --> 00:09:30,930 I completed my tour of duty in Thailand. They separated me from the military back to civilian 208 00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:36,170 life. And I came back and I got this wife and this child that I need to support. And I had an 209 00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:41,930 older brother, Ed, who's a member of the Los Angeles Police Department. And Ed suggested I 210 00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:47,190 apply to the police department. And I did. So during that time, the police department was 20 211 00:09:47,190 --> 00:09:49,270 weeks of intense training. So I applied to the police department. And I got a job. And I got a 212 00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:53,790 job at the police department. I got accepted into the, and I'll never forget, I really wanted this, 213 00:09:54,030 --> 00:09:58,290 you know, so I quit drinking. I really quit my drinking. I was able to get through it. 20 weeks 214 00:09:58,290 --> 00:10:07,650 later, here I am now. I'd be the police. I'm the man. Or I could see me now. Now, every time I tell 215 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:13,390 somebody a question, they ask me, well, did you shoot anybody? And I never shot anybody. I came 216 00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:18,670 close to shooting that one morning. I'll share with you what happened. At this point in my career, 217 00:10:19,290 --> 00:10:23,030 I've been on the job seven or eight years. I don't remember. I do know that my drinking had 218 00:10:23,030 --> 00:10:29,550 escalated. I was drinking a lot. I showed up on a Sunday morning for roll call. And the first good 219 00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:34,310 thing happened to me that Sunday morning, I checked the roster. So they had assigned me 220 00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:39,090 to work with a rookie. You see, that's good for me. Because if I'm working with this rookie, 221 00:10:39,550 --> 00:10:44,230 I'm going to be the wheel man today. He's going to keep the books. Because if I'm no wheel man, 222 00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:49,130 you're going to go down all these streets where there's absolutely no activity. So we're not 223 00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:54,770 about to do any police work. So we're sitting in roll call. And they give us information on a 224 00:10:54,770 --> 00:11:00,110 robbery suspect. It's over a description of the guy, his vehicle description, where he lives and 225 00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:03,710 everything. We have all the information we need on him. So me and the kid, we go out and we check 226 00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:08,270 the blank. He looks at me and goes, hey, cookie. I go, yeah. He goes, let's go scoop him up. And 227 00:11:08,270 --> 00:11:12,810 he goes, who? He says a robbery suspect. He's over there in our area. So this alcoholic brain 228 00:11:12,810 --> 00:11:18,190 of mine starts turning. I think, yeah, OK. This fellow knows that we know who he is. He knows we 229 00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:24,070 are. He's not going to be there. Great idea, kid. Let's roll over. We go to this location. I get on 230 00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:28,890 the horn. And I request about six black and whites to meet me at that location. I request a couple 231 00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:33,090 of sergeants to meet me there. I'm at this location. And I'm out of my car. And I'm directing 232 00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:37,570 traffic. You two guys go around here. You two guys go around here. Hey, serge, you come with me. 233 00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:43,510 I think they're thinking, look at old cookie doing this police work. Go to the door. We knock on the 234 00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:47,410 door. And a voice from behind the door goes, who is it? We're going to start police. Open up. 235 00:11:47,530 --> 00:11:48,970 The guy goes, well, wait a minute. 236 00:11:49,370 --> 00:11:52,770 My wife don't have any clothes on. Give me a minute. So we give it a minute. And we think, 237 00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:57,410 we better go. So we do. We kick the door. And these officers are running around in this 238 00:11:57,410 --> 00:12:02,310 apartment. They're looking for this guy. And I was still standing at the door. Perhaps I should 239 00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:07,790 be looking, too. So what I saw, I saw one of the officers come out of the bathroom. And I thought, 240 00:12:07,870 --> 00:12:13,490 now, there's a good, safe place for me to look. So I walked into the bathroom as if I'm looking 241 00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:17,990 for this. But in the bathroom, over the bathtub, there was a shower curtain. Pulled back all the 242 00:12:17,990 --> 00:12:18,870 way about that much. 243 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:23,770 Something told me to peek behind the shower curtain. And I pulled that curtain back. And 244 00:12:23,770 --> 00:12:31,370 there he was. I did a very, very good job at it. I didn't realize that my drinking was getting 245 00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:37,770 worse. And it was getting worse. I had no clue what was happening. I started taking extra time 246 00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:43,430 off from work. You know, just what I know today is I was calling off drunk, you know, 247 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:48,230 because I had been drinking. So I take a sick day, you know. And finally, what happened to me, 248 00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:52,250 my attendance got bad. I didn't want to work the streets anymore. I was still a relatively 249 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:57,250 young officer. I started working the front desk. That was for the old-time river. I would work 250 00:12:57,250 --> 00:13:01,790 the jail. Finally, I come into work one morning. There were two sergeants that met me at the back 251 00:13:01,790 --> 00:13:06,710 door. And they said that the captain wanted to see me in his office. I knew that was a problem 252 00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:10,370 for me because you're only going to the captain's office for two weeks. You're going to get 253 00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:13,930 accommodation while you're in trouble. I hadn't done anything in years to get accommodation. 254 00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:18,210 But I walked into this captain's office. And what he did, he said, 255 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:24,110 he said, I'm not sure. He said, listen, I got 20 questions. One of the speakers mentioned that 256 00:13:24,110 --> 00:13:29,650 they've seen those 20 questions. I'd like you to look at them and answer these questions as 257 00:13:29,650 --> 00:13:34,570 honestly as you can. And I looked at those questions. And I asked those questions and 258 00:13:34,570 --> 00:13:38,590 gave it back to him. And he looked. And I got to tell you, that's one of the few tests I passed 259 00:13:38,590 --> 00:13:43,850 in my life. That man looked at me and he said, Robert, the way you answer these questions, 260 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:48,190 you are an alcoholic. And I thought, I am not an alcoholic. 261 00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:53,830 Mr. Stanley is an alcoholic. I'm 20. I took a shower this morning. No, that's not what I said. 262 00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:58,990 What I said, oh, really? Because he's just calling me an alcoholic. And I really don't know what to 263 00:13:58,990 --> 00:14:04,210 do with this information. But what he told me, he says, they have a meeting for a law enforcement 264 00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:09,770 officer downtown on 6th and Spring Street. He said there was an AA meeting down there. Now, 265 00:14:09,770 --> 00:14:15,850 I don't know where I am here. This is in the late 70s. But I didn't really know Alcoholics 266 00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:17,930 Anonymous really existed. I thought it was a... 267 00:14:18,230 --> 00:14:25,330 I went to that, my first AA meeting was downtown on Spring Street. It was a big church. You sit on 268 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:30,270 the corner there. You go to the rear of the church downstairs and to the basement. And I walked in 269 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:35,230 there and there were about 20 people in there. And they all seemed to be very happy. They were 270 00:14:35,230 --> 00:14:40,370 laughing. They were talking, smoking and drinking coffee. And a couple of them come charging in my 271 00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:44,370 direction with a half cup of coffee slathered into my hand. They told me I was welcome there. 272 00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:48,050 I gave my little bonus. I said, well, thank you. I didn't want to be there. 273 00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:54,890 I wasn't sure what I was in there. And I sat at that meeting and a lady got up to share her day that had been like, 274 00:14:54,890 --> 00:15:01,090 what she had been going through. I could identify with the feelings. I understood what she was saying 275 00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:05,890 because I had felt the same way. The thing that turned me off that woman said, but I didn't take 276 00:15:05,890 --> 00:15:14,250 a drink. I go, oh, no. I honestly thought, sent me to AA and said, you drink in this situation, 277 00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:16,190 that's no, you don't. I really didn't know. Robert C, Quality of Life, Alcoholics Anonymous, 278 00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:16,270 I said, no, you don't. I really didn't know. Robert C, Quality of Life, Alcoholics Anonymous, 279 00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:16,310 I said, no, you don't. I really didn't know. Robert C, Quality of Life, Alcoholics Anonymous, 280 00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:21,430 I said, no, you don't. I really didn't know. But my drinking continued to get worse. I showed 281 00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:26,230 up again and the two sergeants met me at the back door. This time what they did, they put me on the 282 00:15:26,230 --> 00:15:32,710 breathalyzer in full uniform. I was really, really familiar. I still had no idea I was an alcoholic. 283 00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:37,750 I didn't know. I didn't believe it. So I never will forget, they put me on that breathalyzer. I 284 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:42,790 blew on it. I was on the way coming down. Actually, I blew on that breathalyzer. I blew a .23. 285 00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:46,310 And the sergeant looked at that and he would look at that. 286 00:15:46,310 --> 00:15:50,710 And then he started calling other guys. Hey, come here. Come here. Look at this. Look at this. 287 00:15:50,710 --> 00:15:53,910 I'm even happy. I'm proud about this. I'm smiling at the back of him. 288 00:15:55,350 --> 00:16:01,990 They suspended me from that job for 10 days. It was 10 days when I came. And I thought, 289 00:16:01,990 --> 00:16:05,990 I'm a victim. I thought I was being mistreated. How could they suspend me from this job? There 290 00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:11,270 are guys that do far worse. They go to bars and they shoot out their service revolvers. I don't 291 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:15,430 do that. I thought they were picking on me. So I tried to figure out how am I going to get back at 292 00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:16,230 them. Robert C, Quality of Life, Alcoholics Anonymous, So I was off the 293 00:16:16,230 --> 00:16:21,590 10 days when I came. My first day back at work, I complained the whole day. At the end of the day, 294 00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:25,830 I went out and I played basketball. I ended up twisting my ankle. The next morning when I woke 295 00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:30,950 up, my ankle was pretty swollen. So I called my job. I called the department. I told them that 296 00:16:30,950 --> 00:16:35,830 I had twisted my ankle while I was working yesterday. So I could make the same injury 297 00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:40,550 on duty, you know. So they told me to go see a doctor. I went to see a doctor. And the doctor 298 00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:45,590 looked at me and said, you have a pretty severe sprain here. And what he said to me, you know, 299 00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:49,270 something I was happy about. He said, well, Robert, tell you what you need to just take off 300 00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:53,350 as much as you think you need. Now, that's good information for a guy who don't want to work and 301 00:16:53,350 --> 00:16:58,550 just want to drink. I took him at his word. Take off and go. I don't think I had plans of going 302 00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:02,870 back, you know. So what happened during that time, the police department could pay you a sick visit, 303 00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:08,630 you know. And I was sent in this recline. I would see them as they would drive up in the 304 00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:12,870 black and white company to pay me a sick visit. So I would sit in this recline and I'd get a couple 305 00:17:12,870 --> 00:17:16,070 of ace bandages and I'd wrap them around my ankle. Then I'd put a sock around my ankle and I'd put a 306 00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:20,790 sock over the ankle. I had that ankle looking about that big, you know. And then I'd put a 307 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:25,670 crutch on the wall and as recline, I'd put the band leg up in there so it makes it really good. 308 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:29,750 You know, and the guy looked at me and said, well, Bobby, how are you doing? I said, I'm not sure. 309 00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:33,510 I think they might have to cut on the same. The guy looked at me and said, Robert, I don't know 310 00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:37,110 who you think you're pulling. The last time we were here, you had the other ankle up in there. 311 00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:45,670 That captain said, Robert, I understand. I understand you have a problem. I understand you 312 00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:50,870 have to drink alcohol just like I have to drink water. At that point in my life, that was very, 313 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:56,310 very true. You know, he said, but you're a good officer. We want to take care of, help you out. 314 00:17:56,310 --> 00:18:02,150 So what they did, they took me down to the city of Orange. It was a care manager down there, 315 00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:08,870 21 day program. And I went to that program and what they did, they told me more about alcoholism. 316 00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:14,070 They started taking us to outside meetings and I would go to these outside meetings and I would 317 00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:15,190 listen to the differences, not the similarities. Robert C, Quality of Life, Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, 318 00:18:15,190 --> 00:18:19,030 sobriety, sponsor, home group You know, there was an old guy my age now, you know, 319 00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:23,270 standing up there talking, you know, and he says, well, I lost my house. You know, 320 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:28,630 they will check and lost my house. I lost my car. They will check. I lost my car. And you say, 321 00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:35,670 I lost my job too. Not me. I'm the police today. And then the guy goes, I lost my wife. I lost my 322 00:18:35,670 --> 00:18:42,630 wife and I didn't want to do it. So I really did think I was an alcoholic. I really did. 323 00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:42,790 Robert C, Quality of Life, Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, sobriety, sponsor, home group 324 00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:43,750 I stayed there for those 21 days. Robert C, Quality of Life, Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, sobriety, 325 00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:47,350 sponsor, home group I left, went back to work and for 90 days, 326 00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:52,230 I had nothing to drink. But also for 90 days, I never made contact with another 327 00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:55,910 sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I never thought about reading a book, 328 00:18:55,910 --> 00:19:00,230 calling another sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous because I had not drink for 90 days. 329 00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:05,670 I thought I got this. You know, it was one Sunday morning. Absolutely nothing bad going on in my 330 00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:10,070 life. Nothing good. Just an average day for a guy like me. A thought hit me, hey Robert, 331 00:19:10,070 --> 00:19:12,230 you can't drink no more for the rest of your life. Robert C, Quality of Life, Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, 332 00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:13,590 sobriety, sponsor, home group And I remembered in some of 333 00:19:13,590 --> 00:19:18,070 those meetings I had attended, they said, if you think you're going to drink, call somebody, 334 00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:20,870 talk to somebody, they said. I remember them saying that. 335 00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:26,150 So the first thing I did, I went to this liquor store, bought myself a bottle and I put it underneath 336 00:19:26,150 --> 00:19:30,310 my car seat. I said, I knew I had to discuss it. I know I have a committee here, so we thought we'd 337 00:19:30,310 --> 00:19:35,910 discuss it. We're both saying no, yes, no, yes. Then we all agreed that I should drink. 338 00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:41,750 I ended up drinking. I ended up losing that job. As a result of that, I ended up 339 00:19:41,750 --> 00:19:43,510 not contacting my family. Robert C, Quality of Life, Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, sobriety, 340 00:19:43,510 --> 00:19:48,230 sponsor, home group me. Because it wasn't that my family had turned their back on me. It was that 341 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:55,270 I felt too bad to go and see my family. You see, my life was so bad after that because I had no 342 00:19:55,270 --> 00:20:01,190 idea what I'm going to do for a living. At this point in my life, I knew, I knew that I 343 00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:07,910 knew how to stop drinking. I knew I had been to AA meetings and I could look at you. You said you 344 00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:13,190 were alcoholic. You had problems stopping drinking, but I would look at you and you looked good. You 345 00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:17,750 looked happy. You looked clean. That's not the way I, you know, I thought that you were doing, 346 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:21,430 you're drinking those cocktails, the little thing in the air, the syrup. I'm the type of guy, 347 00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:25,030 I'm out there drinking that hot vodka from one of these, you know, and I've got to drink that 348 00:20:25,030 --> 00:20:29,190 vodka. I actually remember going to get booze. I could wake up one day and have no mind about 349 00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:33,430 it. Guaranteed, I'd find out already. I felt inhuman. You know, this is why I wouldn't contact 350 00:20:33,430 --> 00:20:37,830 my family. When I walked down the street, if I walked past you, I couldn't look at you because 351 00:20:37,830 --> 00:20:43,430 I was afraid you would look at me and you would know that I am nothing. I am nobody. You know, you 352 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:49,190 can't stand who I am. That's the way I felt about myself, myself. So I couldn't look at you. 353 00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:53,350 I was very, very fortunate. I remember I used to drive around the streets in this old lady car on 354 00:20:53,350 --> 00:20:58,390 my birthday. I would pray. I would cry. I would turn on my steering wheel. I would pray. I've 355 00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:05,670 always believed in God. And out of the clear blue, I really was a friend of my cousin. He said to me, 356 00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:11,430 he knew I had a father. He says, Robert, they have an excellent program at the VA hospital. 357 00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:11,590 Robert C. And I first thought, here's a guy, I had to go to a VA hospital. I had to go to a VA hospital. 358 00:21:11,590 --> 00:21:16,390 And I first thought, here's a guy, I had no place to live. I wasn't taking a shower or anything. 359 00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:20,150 I was thinking out loud. This guy said, you can go to the VA hospital. And I think, man, 360 00:21:20,150 --> 00:21:23,830 I don't want to go there. It's just a bunch of drones. You know, that guy talked to me. He took 361 00:21:23,830 --> 00:21:29,270 me to the VA hospital. I am so grateful for the VA hospital because they accepted me. The VA hospital 362 00:21:29,270 --> 00:21:34,390 gave me a nice, I will never take a bed for granted as long as I live, sleeping in a car 363 00:21:34,390 --> 00:21:40,230 underneath the newspaper. VA hospital gave me a nice clean bed to sleep in. VA hospital gave me 364 00:21:41,590 --> 00:21:46,790 clothes to wear. I was able to take a nice shower as many times a day as I wanted to. 365 00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:50,310 The most important thing that the VA could have done for me and that they did, they took me to 366 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:55,750 an anonymous meeting. And this meeting they took me to, this group reminds me very much of it 367 00:21:55,750 --> 00:22:00,950 because those people were so friendly to me. They were so kind to me. They came up and they talked 368 00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:05,990 to me. See, I didn't feel worthy to take a seat here next to you. I didn't feel like I deserved 369 00:22:05,990 --> 00:22:11,350 that. But you told me I was welcome. Robert C. And I believe that I was able to sit in these 370 00:22:11,350 --> 00:22:16,630 meetings. I was able to hear people talk about what they were like. Because you see, when I came 371 00:22:16,630 --> 00:22:22,790 here, I thought, it's no way you know how I feel. And I believe that. It's no way you know how I 372 00:22:22,790 --> 00:22:28,150 feel. You come from a different place. I was able to hear you talk about what it was like for you, 373 00:22:28,150 --> 00:22:33,030 what happened to you. And I started to believe, just believe, maybe, maybe I could do it. 374 00:22:33,030 --> 00:22:36,950 Robert C. At some point, compulsion to drink was removed because you see, 375 00:22:36,950 --> 00:22:41,190 when I, before that, every day I woke up, I had to drink. It didn't matter what. It was, it was, 376 00:22:41,190 --> 00:22:45,590 even with the two children that I loved dearly. It came between them, a drink, I would take the 377 00:22:45,590 --> 00:22:50,550 drink, you know. But you were very, very kind to me. That's how I was sober. About nine months, 378 00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:55,190 I got a call from my attorney. My attorney said, the city of Los Angeles have been ordered to 379 00:22:55,190 --> 00:22:59,830 rehabilitate you. They've also been ordered to give you your pension because they terminated 380 00:22:59,830 --> 00:23:04,710 you illegally. You were ill. You know, so he asked me, what is it you want to do when you grow up? 381 00:23:04,710 --> 00:23:09,190 And I'd always wanted to go into the computer industry. I would never tell anybody that, 382 00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:11,030 because I was afraid they'd say, why don't you do it? 383 00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:16,710 Robert C. I got a chance to do that. I went straight to my sponsor. 384 00:23:16,710 --> 00:23:21,030 Many sponsors are very, very important. I went straight to my sponsor and I told him about this 385 00:23:21,030 --> 00:23:24,790 opportunity. My sponsor asked me, what is it I would like to do? And I told him. He said, well, 386 00:23:24,790 --> 00:23:29,910 let's give it a shot. You know, and I, I did. I started going to an electronic school out here in 387 00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:35,750 the Valley. I was attending school every day, but I was having problems in that school. 388 00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:40,230 I learned at Alcoholics Anonymous, if you're having a problem, 389 00:23:40,230 --> 00:23:46,230 if you tell somebody about it, you can get help. If you don't tell anybody what's going on, 390 00:23:46,230 --> 00:23:50,630 it's a very, it's a very slight chance you're going to get any help. I would go to my meetings 391 00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:54,550 and people will say, well, Robert, how are you doing in school? And I would say, 392 00:23:54,550 --> 00:23:59,590 I am not doing very well. And that's something that's really on my chest. I said, I'm not doing 393 00:23:59,590 --> 00:24:03,990 very well. I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through this school or not. There were people 394 00:24:03,990 --> 00:24:10,070 in those meetings. At that time, our meetings would all start at eight o'clock at night. They 395 00:24:10,070 --> 00:24:14,950 were always in, they were supposed to end at 10, but they were always in after 10. There were 396 00:24:14,950 --> 00:24:19,670 people that after meeting, they would come home with me. They said, you probably just need to be 397 00:24:19,670 --> 00:24:24,710 taught how to organize. And these people came home with me, taught me how to study, how to organize, 398 00:24:24,710 --> 00:24:29,030 and I was able to get through that. With the results of these people helping me. After 399 00:24:29,030 --> 00:24:34,870 completing that school, I got sent out here and I was in Woodland Hills for my first interview at 400 00:24:34,870 --> 00:24:39,910 Xerox and I went out there and I took the written test and I passed that. And they told me to cut it 401 00:24:39,910 --> 00:24:45,590 back that afternoon for an oral interview. And with that lunchtime, I got a lot of time to think, 402 00:24:45,590 --> 00:24:49,270 you know, this head starts going, you know, hey, you don't need to go back. You don't know what 403 00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:53,510 you're doing anyways. They're not going to hire you, you know, you know, since you're wasting your 404 00:24:53,510 --> 00:24:57,430 time. Better than done yet, you know, since you're wasting your time, you know. So, but thankfully, 405 00:24:57,430 --> 00:25:03,350 I had been trained to call my sponsor. And I called my sponsor and told him about these thoughts. And 406 00:25:03,350 --> 00:25:09,270 what he said to me is, Robert, results is not up to you. It's not up to that management after you. 407 00:25:09,910 --> 00:25:13,990 It's up to God. He said, that's it. I believe that. I bought into that. I showed up for the 408 00:25:13,990 --> 00:25:19,830 interview and walked in this room. I looked in this man's office and he had all these plaques 409 00:25:19,830 --> 00:25:24,550 around the wall, golf plaques and golf trophies. I figured this guy must play golf, so do I. You 410 00:25:24,550 --> 00:25:28,230 know, so he said, well, Robert, tell me a little bit about yourself. I started telling him about 411 00:25:28,230 --> 00:25:32,870 the little hands-on training I'd had at the school and a little bit I knew about electronic. And I 412 00:25:32,870 --> 00:25:37,670 said, and my hobby is playing golf. You know, so we talked about 20 minutes and he gave me a job, 413 00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:39,910 you know, and I started working there, you know, and I was like, well, I'm going to do this. And I 414 00:25:39,910 --> 00:25:43,910 worked there for about five and a half years. Then another opportunity came up working at a 415 00:25:43,910 --> 00:25:48,070 different computer company. And I thought this is probably a good idea, but I checked with my 416 00:25:48,070 --> 00:25:52,390 sponsor and my sponsor told me to look into it. And I did. I looked into that and that was a, 417 00:25:52,390 --> 00:25:57,110 that was a great gig. The company that I went to, I used to get a chance to travel a lot. 418 00:25:57,110 --> 00:26:02,230 And I'll tell you the first trip I ever took was back to Boston. I had never been to Boston before 419 00:26:02,230 --> 00:26:07,590 in my life. You know, they treated me very well. You know, I went back to Boston on this trip and, 420 00:26:07,590 --> 00:26:09,830 you know, prior to that, you know, when I was a kid, 421 00:26:09,910 --> 00:26:13,510 growing up, you know, I'd be watching these old black and white movies and, 422 00:26:13,510 --> 00:26:17,350 and this guy looked like his name was Jim. Jim would come home in his business suit and Jim 423 00:26:17,350 --> 00:26:22,230 would have his briefcase and Jim had been out of town on business, you know. So there I am in 424 00:26:22,230 --> 00:26:27,350 Boston. And what happened, I was going to be there for three weeks. I sat there in my room and I 425 00:26:27,350 --> 00:26:32,630 started to feel really lonely. I said, no, don't know anybody. And I started thumbing through the 426 00:26:32,630 --> 00:26:37,190 material that was on the table. There was a phone number for Alcoholics Anonymous. I called that 427 00:26:37,190 --> 00:26:39,830 phone number for Alcoholics Anonymous. And the guy asked me, 428 00:26:39,910 --> 00:26:43,590 hey, can you get here? Do I need to pick you up? I said, no, I have wheels, I can get. 429 00:26:43,590 --> 00:26:46,630 So I drove to that meeting. When I pulled up to the meeting location, 430 00:26:46,630 --> 00:26:49,510 I knew I was in the right place. And there they were again. 431 00:26:49,510 --> 00:26:55,750 I was smoking and drinking coffee, you know. But I was a little apprehensive because, 432 00:26:55,750 --> 00:27:00,710 you see, I'm used to my home, I'm used to my peers, you know. These are my peers. 433 00:27:00,710 --> 00:27:04,950 And a thought occurred to me, they're just a bunch of alcoholics. So I did what I've been taught to 434 00:27:04,950 --> 00:27:09,670 do. I went there and I just started walking around. Hi, my name is Robert. I'm visiting here. 435 00:27:09,910 --> 00:27:14,390 There was a man I introduced myself to. He went in his pocket, put his business card out, 436 00:27:14,390 --> 00:27:18,470 and wrote his home number on there. He gave that to me. He said, Robert, you can call me 437 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:24,630 anytime. If you think about it, I don't know any other employee or any organization where a perfect 438 00:27:24,630 --> 00:27:28,550 stranger put your eyes on you for the first time. He'd give you his home. I don't know any place 439 00:27:28,550 --> 00:27:33,350 to be. And I did call that guy. And I hung out with that guy. And I went to meetings there. 440 00:27:33,350 --> 00:27:37,830 And I got done with that school successfully. When I came back, I went to my meetings, 441 00:27:37,830 --> 00:27:39,750 and my friends said, hey, Robert, where you been? And I said, hey, Robert, where you been? Because 442 00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:43,830 we really missed you. I've been out and down on business, you know. I'm not going to stand here 443 00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:48,550 and tell you that every since I've been sober, everything in my life has been perfect, because 444 00:27:48,550 --> 00:27:53,430 that is not true. When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, you didn't promise me a perfect life. 445 00:27:53,430 --> 00:28:01,590 You didn't promise me a wife, a car, a house. What you promised me was sobriety. What I heard you say, 446 00:28:01,590 --> 00:28:08,070 if I put Alcoholics Anonymous first, everything else will know. I lost my mother in sobriety. 447 00:28:08,070 --> 00:28:09,590 Robert C. You know, my father called, 448 00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:14,390 and he said, you'll need to come home. He said, because I don't think your mother's going to last 449 00:28:14,390 --> 00:28:19,350 very long. And I went back home to see my mother. You see, my mother had seen me go through all this 450 00:28:19,350 --> 00:28:23,830 crap that I did. She had seen my dreams and didn't know what was wrong with me. You know, she also 451 00:28:23,830 --> 00:28:29,510 got a chance to come out here and go to a meeting with me and see the people that returned her son. 452 00:28:29,510 --> 00:28:34,870 I went home to see my mother. My mother had lung cancer. And she looked just totally different, 453 00:28:34,870 --> 00:28:39,590 just broke my heart to look at my mother in that condition. That's why my mother was always very, 454 00:28:39,590 --> 00:28:44,470 very vibrant and beautiful woman. You know, to see my mother the way she looked, I could not 455 00:28:44,470 --> 00:28:49,350 control myself. I was finally able to get myself together and go back in and look at my mother and 456 00:28:49,350 --> 00:28:53,750 talk to her. And my mother looks up to me, and she pinched me on the chin. She says, 457 00:28:53,750 --> 00:28:59,590 my little boy's going to be all right. You see, you gained my mother's son back. She got a chance 458 00:28:59,590 --> 00:29:04,870 to feed him. Chances are, if I was still drinking and my father still come home, I would not have 459 00:29:04,870 --> 00:29:09,350 gone home from my mother's funeral. It would have been very, very difficult for me to live with that. 460 00:29:09,590 --> 00:29:16,710 That's the way I am. In sobriety, I got married in sobriety. I got divorced in sobriety. Life 461 00:29:16,710 --> 00:29:23,110 goes on. That's life. No animals. That's just life. That brother I told you, Benny, 462 00:29:23,110 --> 00:29:28,390 when he came to Vietnam, Benny passed. Benny was only 57 years old when he passed. You see, 463 00:29:28,390 --> 00:29:34,870 I had a grandmother living to be 102 years old. And my father just recently passed. He was 100 464 00:29:34,870 --> 00:29:39,430 years old. You know, and so I thought Benny was going to be around here eons. You know, 465 00:29:39,590 --> 00:29:43,430 lying about how he used to play baseball and so forth. But he went to the hospital and he never 466 00:29:43,430 --> 00:29:49,670 got out. At his funeral, there were people in my group. They had never met Benny before. They went 467 00:29:49,670 --> 00:29:55,910 to Benny's funeral to support me. My phone kept ringing. Guys I sponsored called me. People in the 468 00:29:55,910 --> 00:30:00,550 room said, is there anything we can do for you? And I started going to meetings. I stepped up my 469 00:30:00,550 --> 00:30:05,190 knee. The thought of drinking had never really occurred to me. Alcoholics Anonymous is what 470 00:30:05,190 --> 00:30:09,270 occurred to me. I got sober in October. I'm sorry, in January of this month. I got sober in January. 471 00:30:09,590 --> 00:30:18,230 January of 1983. I've been sober 35 years, soon to be 36. I have had a very, very, very good 472 00:30:18,230 --> 00:30:24,470 sobriety. I can honestly say that in that 35 years, I have never said that I hate being sober. 473 00:30:24,470 --> 00:30:29,670 I've only been grateful that I'm sober. I am so grateful for a program like this 474 00:30:29,670 --> 00:30:35,430 because I didn't know what to do. I knew that drinking that alcohol wasn't good for me, 475 00:30:35,430 --> 00:30:39,030 and I couldn't do it. I knew that. I didn't know that this would work. 476 00:30:39,590 --> 00:30:43,350 I was able to come in here and listen to you talk about the 12 steps. I was able to follow 477 00:30:43,350 --> 00:30:49,510 those 12 steps. I got a sponsor that I trusted. I absolutely trusted. And he gave me directions 478 00:30:49,510 --> 00:30:55,270 of what to do. And I'm so grateful that I had been given the gift of willingness to do what 479 00:30:55,270 --> 00:31:00,630 that sponsor said. That son, Demetrius, that I mentioned earlier, he ended up with the same 480 00:31:00,630 --> 00:31:05,750 disease. I thought, okay, that's cool. We'll just try that. We're going to have a destiny together. 481 00:31:05,750 --> 00:31:09,430 It didn't exactly work that way. It was very difficult for Demetrius. 482 00:31:09,590 --> 00:31:15,190 Today, he is sober for five years, but Demetrius has been around this program for 15 or 20 years. 483 00:31:15,190 --> 00:31:21,190 He's sober today. He used to live out here in the valley. I love my son. His life is going well. I 484 00:31:21,190 --> 00:31:26,550 have another daughter, older daughter, and she's got these three little girls and a little boy. 485 00:31:26,550 --> 00:31:30,870 I get a chance to spend a lot of time with my grandchildren. I have a total of 13 grandchildren, 486 00:31:30,870 --> 00:31:37,350 and nine of them live very close to me. And I get to spend a lot of time with them. In fact, 487 00:31:37,350 --> 00:31:39,590 five of my grandkids were at my home. I had a lot of time with them. I had a lot of time with my 488 00:31:39,590 --> 00:31:44,230 grandkids at my home a couple of days ago. We had a great time. I got to tell you, my house is a 489 00:31:44,230 --> 00:31:52,310 mess when they left. It ranged from ages seven months to 25 years old. She's got a couple of 490 00:31:52,310 --> 00:31:58,870 twins there. My youngest daughter had twins. I'll tell you, I love my kids. I love my grandkids, 491 00:31:58,870 --> 00:32:05,750 and they love being around me. You see, my children have always... I didn't know how to 492 00:32:05,750 --> 00:32:09,110 receive a lot of them. I had no idea what I was giving them. I had no problem giving them. I 493 00:32:09,590 --> 00:32:13,030 didn't know how to receive a lot of them. These kids have just been the apple of my eye. 494 00:32:13,030 --> 00:32:17,430 Now, I'm going to wrap this up with this little story I like to tell at the end of my talk, 495 00:32:17,430 --> 00:32:22,290 because it kind of reminds me of drinking in the community. These two little boys 496 00:32:22,290 --> 00:32:27,570 live next door to me. One was seven years old. One was five years old. So the little seven-year-old 497 00:32:27,570 --> 00:32:30,770 looks at his five-year-old brother and says, you know, we're old enough to start a company. 498 00:32:30,770 --> 00:32:34,530 And the five-year-old goes, okay. So the seven-year-old says, I'm going to use the word 499 00:32:34,530 --> 00:32:39,410 hell, and you use the word fighting. And the brother goes, okay. So the next morning, they go 500 00:32:39,650 --> 00:32:43,650 to breakfast, and the mother looks at the little seven-year-old, and she says, well, honey, 501 00:32:43,650 --> 00:32:48,290 what would you like for breakfast this morning? He's scrappy. He goes, oh, hell, just give me a 502 00:32:48,290 --> 00:32:53,410 bowl of Cheerio. And she does not have it with this response. Throws him up from the table, 503 00:32:53,410 --> 00:32:57,330 throws him into his room, slams the door behind him. This five-year-old is sitting here looking 504 00:32:57,330 --> 00:33:00,850 at this, aren't you? You know, so, honey, what would you like for breakfast this morning? He 505 00:33:00,850 --> 00:33:07,090 said, I don't know either, but you can get your fat ass on a Cheerio. You know, I'm so grateful, 506 00:33:07,090 --> 00:33:08,290 and I appreciate it. Awesome. 507 00:33:08,290 --> 00:33:09,490 Robert C. Right. 508 00:33:09,650 --> 00:33:12,050 Robert C. I appreciate each and every person answering, 509 00:33:12,050 --> 00:33:16,770 because it is people like you that gave me the life that I want. It is people like you. 510 00:33:16,770 --> 00:33:21,250 You took time out of your day. You took time out of your day to talk to me, even when I didn't 511 00:33:21,250 --> 00:33:26,370 believe, even when I was able to believe. You gave me your time. You can't beat that. I am 512 00:33:26,370 --> 00:33:29,490 so grateful to Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank you all so very much.