1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000 Hello there. I'm Katie. I'm an alcoholic. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:16,000 I'm going to get centered here for a minute. 3 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,000 First of all, thank you for having me. 4 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,290 I just wanted to hear that again. 5 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:28,290 I want to thank Oscar for asking me to share 6 00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:32,290 and to tell you my story. 7 00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:34,290 First of all, let me just get out of the way. 8 00:00:34,290 --> 00:00:38,290 I am literally exhausted at the same time. 9 00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:42,580 I went last night, or yesterday, 10 00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:46,580 I went to India with my family to speak at the 11 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,580 ABC Recovery Center. 12 00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:51,580 There were 50 of us that were infected. 13 00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:53,580 We went and participated. 14 00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:55,580 It was great. 15 00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:57,580 I got in. 16 00:00:57,580 --> 00:00:59,580 I had the time of my life. 17 00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:01,580 I was standing on all days, 18 00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:03,580 straight from there. 19 00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:05,580 It was all a stupid area, 20 00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:07,580 so I can't promise you exactly 21 00:01:07,580 --> 00:01:09,580 what I'm going to do today. 22 00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:12,060 It's been good because it's not 23 00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:14,060 too severely like this. 24 00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,060 And then I've been having a lot of coffee 25 00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:18,060 outside until now. 26 00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:20,060 I just wanted to clear the air, 27 00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:22,060 go down there. 28 00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:24,060 I feel like I can go home. 29 00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:26,060 I've already had so much. 30 00:01:26,060 --> 00:01:27,060 Thank you so much. 31 00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:29,060 Thank you, Dan. 32 00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:31,060 Your shares were excellent. 33 00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:35,060 My story and your share is very different 34 00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:37,060 from most of yours. 35 00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:39,060 I also really can't describe everything 36 00:01:39,060 --> 00:01:41,060 I have to say about the amazing things 37 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:43,060 about this program. 38 00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:45,060 The ability to believe 39 00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:47,060 in purpose and the feelings 40 00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:49,060 that are going on with it. 41 00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:51,060 So, we'll see. 42 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:55,060 My sobriety date was July, 1997. 43 00:01:55,060 --> 00:01:57,060 My answer is 44 00:01:57,060 --> 00:01:59,060 to be a W and 45 00:01:59,060 --> 00:02:01,060 send you a meeting 46 00:02:01,060 --> 00:02:03,060 with a speaker. 47 00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:05,280 You could see. 48 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,280 Sorry. 49 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,280 I have one for the staring at me right now. 50 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,440 Sometimes I draw a blank 51 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:13,440 and then have it. 52 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,210 Let's see. 53 00:02:16,210 --> 00:02:18,210 I don't know. 54 00:02:18,210 --> 00:02:20,210 I'm 55 00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:22,210 in some family 56 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,210 of alcoholics. 57 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,210 I will just start off. 58 00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:29,200 You should mix it in. 59 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,200 So, I just think, you know, 60 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,200 I've been married 61 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,200 since I was in the family. 62 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,200 Yeah. 63 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,200 I have, you know, 64 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,200 girls and 65 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,200 and 66 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,200 people that are 67 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,200 and also that are 68 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,200 active in their family. 69 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,200 And so, you know, it was just 70 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,200 a suggestion. 71 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,200 And 72 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,200 I didn't even realize it until, you know, 73 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,200 it's absolutely 74 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,200 my plan for alcoholics. 75 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,200 And starting to hear 76 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,200 my family members tell me 77 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,200 my father was an alcoholics. 78 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,580 But other plans, you know, 79 00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,580 you know, 80 00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:13,580 you know, 81 00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:15,580 Sam died 82 00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:18,130 in my 1950s. 83 00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:20,130 Hearing the things 84 00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:22,130 I should do, I was like, 85 00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:24,130 that's mean. 86 00:03:24,130 --> 00:03:26,130 And it was telling my story. 87 00:03:26,130 --> 00:03:28,130 So, it's, you know, just kind of amazing. 88 00:03:28,130 --> 00:03:30,130 Yeah, there's 89 00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:32,130 a huge family. 90 00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:34,130 So, a lot of, you know, 91 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,130 in the family. So, yeah, just 92 00:03:36,130 --> 00:03:38,130 interesting family dynamics. 93 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:40,130 But my family, 94 00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:42,130 she got so big 95 00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,130 before I was born. 96 00:03:44,130 --> 00:03:46,130 She has been 97 00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:48,130 so, you know, 98 00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:50,130 active in the family. 99 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,190 See, as a kid, 100 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,190 you know, 101 00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,190 I was a very little child. 102 00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:58,190 And, um, 103 00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:00,190 I was a sweet boy. 104 00:04:00,190 --> 00:04:02,190 I was born on the street. 105 00:04:02,190 --> 00:04:04,190 If you made fun of me, 106 00:04:04,190 --> 00:04:06,190 I would cry. 107 00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:08,190 You know, 108 00:04:08,190 --> 00:04:10,510 sitting in the stands, right? 109 00:04:10,510 --> 00:04:12,510 So, I mean, 110 00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:14,510 it was a very, very big party. 111 00:04:14,510 --> 00:04:17,060 And it was very, 112 00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:19,060 I think it was, 113 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:21,060 I went to school. 114 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:23,060 And they had a song 115 00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:25,060 about me being a puppy dog. 116 00:04:25,060 --> 00:04:27,060 And they would sing, 117 00:04:27,060 --> 00:04:29,060 how much is that, 118 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,060 and they would sing 119 00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:33,060 one or two songs. 120 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,060 You know, 121 00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:37,060 it was a very big party. 122 00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:39,060 You know, 123 00:04:39,060 --> 00:04:41,060 it was a really big time, 124 00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:43,060 I think. 125 00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,060 So, you know, 126 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,060 it was a really big time. 127 00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:49,060 Any other questions? 128 00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:51,060 Yes? 129 00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:53,060 Female question? 130 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,060 Ah, 131 00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,060 Len, 132 00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:59,060 you can jump in. 133 00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:29,130 Thank you so much for joining me today. 134 00:05:29,150 --> 00:05:36,570 you know, stop pretty much at that point. I had also grown out of it, you know, started to 135 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:45,480 and I started to become somewhat accepted by the populace now. My first killing auntie was 136 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,660 one of the most popular people in the house. She was spending a minute at my house 137 00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:54,180 and she was pretty bad about it. We could tell as though there was some fighting that we had 138 00:05:54,180 --> 00:06:05,540 and I just kind of sat there. No one really knew me. So my friend, you know, she spent the night. 139 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:14,740 I also happened to have some kind of issues in the thread. Yeah, I started thinking, I mean, 140 00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:18,560 there would be extremes. I think there would be for it, like screen time. I never, I never 141 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:23,060 used to do it that much. I mean, you know, some of the extremes I would always think about. So I 142 00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:24,160 knew these things would happen. 143 00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:30,540 But, you know, we knew it was just for the criminal issues. And I thought she knew how to 144 00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:38,980 talk to me. And I was really shocked about it. And, you know, talking with those is as natural 145 00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:43,500 as breathing. And we think maybe it's just a little bit of something. And I feel since I 146 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:48,980 discovered you can just take a little bit back and put up a puzzle. And so that's how I changed. 147 00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:53,960 And I don't know why I'm looking at that way. I'm trying to get a 148 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:54,160 passion. 149 00:06:54,180 --> 00:07:08,640 But that's, that's, that's just about it. Because I was, I was trying, I was used to watch, 150 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:14,900 I was sort of come out of my shell. I, you know, I like to fancy myself a pretty funny person, 151 00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:20,380 pretty witty, so nervous to be able to post out my humor on you guys, because I was so shy. 152 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,020 I would put that inside me really thinking, like, I wish everybody could help. 153 00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:25,180 But, you know, it took me years, but I got things that were actual, you 154 00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:29,720 can't just go on and on about myself, to say like, how funny I was, and how funny I was. 155 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:30,680 And everything, like, gosh, I was great. 156 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:35,060 You know, I used all my best material and I just, you know, I was funny. 157 00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:36,060 And I sprouted. 158 00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:42,920 And even, generally, like they, this girl, she talked about me and she was so nice that 159 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:48,240 I could pretend how funny, how great I was that night, that I could help out. 160 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,820 So I went so strong, so I lets out. 161 00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:51,820 But, yeah. 162 00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:52,620 And I wasn't tired at all. 163 00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:53,580 It could be. 164 00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:54,040 Joni Okay. 165 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,580 All of that, my chance for all of that, and I had no idea why. 166 00:07:58,140 --> 00:08:01,760 I didn't realize until years later that I was going to have one and done it. 167 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:09,920 Because, you know, to, uh, you know, I think it's, uh, I just, for me, it's a position I was in. 168 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:15,040 It's amazing. I think I was really, really sick. 169 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:21,380 Um, I think until I got alcoholics, I was in the first term, I was very, but I was trying to hide it from my parents, so I just stopped. 170 00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:29,900 And, um, I think she got away with it, but then, um, I was going to meet her at a facility with some friends. 171 00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:34,780 And at the time, you know, there was, you know, just the same thing as house, and your parents could put a gun on you. 172 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,140 So I got caught that way, and I think I got grounded for a moment or something. 173 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,300 Um, so I was doing these things in my high school years. 174 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,860 Like, I was doing something wrong. 175 00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:46,540 Um, so that was my first job. 176 00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:49,840 Um, and before, I think Dan said it, you know. 177 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,200 I guess I wasn't. 178 00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:53,460 And it's easy to get some worries, obviously. 179 00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:58,760 So I ended up starting to come down and, you know, you know, I was trying to find a job. 180 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,880 I think I was going to be able to make it through time. 181 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,600 I think I was going to make it through time, but I couldn't get out of the door. 182 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,040 You know, so I was going through strength. 183 00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:10,160 I actually really cared about school. 184 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,460 I, I, you know, I cared about what my teachers thought of me or what I thought of school. 185 00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:17,900 So that's how I lost all interest. 186 00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:20,520 Um, I really lost interest in anything. 187 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,520 And that's what seriously interested me. 188 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,280 And my third purpose was, you know, how can I get back again? 189 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,480 How can I get high again? 190 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:32,340 Um, and, you know, I was thinking about it, because I think it's really sad. 191 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:37,340 Um, and it just, uh, it was telling me, you know, the solutions are all in my head. 192 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:42,660 It seems really quickly that I started to deteriorate. 193 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,140 Like I mentioned, I need to fill my drink. 194 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,680 Almost every time I drink, I click out. 195 00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:50,140 And, gee, well, when you do that. 196 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,620 I'm just, you know, trouble seems to fall. 197 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,060 And I always thought it was a coincidence that the police showed up. 198 00:09:56,340 --> 00:09:58,220 Like, you know, it's, you know, what is up with that? 199 00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,520 There was such a police presence. 200 00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:01,020 You know, but, you know, it was me. 201 00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:03,200 I told them there, because I was so lazy. 202 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:07,980 Um, they were like, you know, the pictures on, um, uh, the tequila meets with folks. 203 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,380 Well, I thought that was, you know, my experience. 204 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:11,300 You know what I'm saying? 205 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,560 And, you know, gosh, yeah. 206 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,660 Um, I just felt like I didn't need it to, you know, fill me with myself. 207 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,660 You know, it was, you know. 208 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:24,000 And, you know, like, oh, here's a little sterile. 209 00:10:25,070 --> 00:10:26,230 I was straight there. 210 00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:29,710 Um, but, you know, it seems like that led to these presents. 211 00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:32,390 I was also, you know, like, in a space. 212 00:10:32,910 --> 00:10:37,230 And, you know, at the time, it was something I wanted to do. 213 00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:39,930 And, um, let's see. 214 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,910 And, you know, I started getting arrested type of thing. 215 00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:46,790 And I started to draw the radar on my parents. 216 00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:50,190 Um, you know, I was, you know, starting to have a problem. 217 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:50,890 Um. 218 00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:57,390 Like I mentioned, my dad is, you know, she is also, um, an investment manager. 219 00:10:58,150 --> 00:11:00,470 So, it's a bit of a lie. 220 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,470 So, you know, it's going to get shut on to me. 221 00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:06,590 So, they started interviewing me for programs. 222 00:11:07,410 --> 00:11:09,550 Um, I was especially put me in. 223 00:11:09,690 --> 00:11:11,890 I said, like, as you're wasting money. 224 00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:14,150 I'm going to put it in a little bit. 225 00:11:14,670 --> 00:11:16,750 Basically, I'm just changing my settings. 226 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:20,270 Um, I just remember being anxious in the game. 227 00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:20,850 Because. 228 00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:21,410 You know. 229 00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:22,830 It's been really nice to reach in. 230 00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:23,530 Um. 231 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,810 But, I guess I may read. 232 00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:26,470 Um. 233 00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:26,850 So. 234 00:11:27,650 --> 00:11:28,050 Um. 235 00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:29,550 One first in school. 236 00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:30,950 And I believe. 237 00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:32,650 I'm going to be. 238 00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:34,730 GPA of 0.00. 239 00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:36,810 Yeah. 240 00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:39,010 I think I'll make it twice. 241 00:11:39,630 --> 00:11:39,930 Um. 242 00:11:41,270 --> 00:11:42,910 Even when it's a regular high school. 243 00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,290 It's a continuation school. 244 00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:46,070 Even going to school. 245 00:11:46,550 --> 00:11:46,910 Um. 246 00:11:46,970 --> 00:11:46,990 And. 247 00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:47,490 Um. 248 00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:48,350 Doing the same. 249 00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:51,690 And my alma mater, I think, is a hospital. 250 00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:53,050 and I'll have it. 251 00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:56,810 And probably, you know, 252 00:11:56,830 --> 00:11:57,750 high school is transferred 253 00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:58,950 and it's been changed here. 254 00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:00,230 It's been marked up all the way. 255 00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:01,910 And so to that intersection, 256 00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:03,310 a person that didn't know me 257 00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:04,810 is very much a believer in high school. 258 00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:08,910 Sorry. 259 00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:10,210 Like I said, 260 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,310 this is like the weirdest thing 261 00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:13,490 that came to me was very much. 262 00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:14,330 But yeah, 263 00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:15,470 you know, 264 00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:16,650 it's been starting to transform 265 00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:17,590 in the early days. 266 00:12:18,290 --> 00:12:19,490 You know, 267 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:20,850 right now, 268 00:12:20,970 --> 00:12:21,730 the reality is 269 00:12:21,730 --> 00:12:23,430 that's where things are 270 00:12:23,430 --> 00:12:24,550 my friends, 271 00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:25,210 they all do. 272 00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:26,410 And, you know, 273 00:12:26,490 --> 00:12:27,250 so sometimes, 274 00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:27,610 like, 275 00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:29,590 when things happen, 276 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:30,290 you know, 277 00:12:30,390 --> 00:12:30,930 to, you know, 278 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:31,310 people, 279 00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:33,150 there's also that situation. 280 00:12:33,490 --> 00:12:34,270 And so, you know, 281 00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:36,950 types of things happen to me. 282 00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:38,170 Like I mentioned, 283 00:12:38,330 --> 00:12:39,250 I got an genocide. 284 00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:41,930 I fell in love 285 00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:43,890 at the age of 16. 286 00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:46,790 You know, 287 00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:47,110 I just, 288 00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:47,470 yeah, 289 00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:47,750 I mean, 290 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:48,450 yes, 291 00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:49,550 I was, 292 00:12:49,650 --> 00:12:50,130 I think, 293 00:12:50,550 --> 00:12:52,130 17 and he was 19. 294 00:12:52,410 --> 00:12:53,130 That's what we did. 295 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:53,410 It's just, 296 00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:55,010 I was 14 297 00:12:55,010 --> 00:12:56,050 and he was like 27. 298 00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:56,810 So, 299 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,130 yeah, 300 00:12:58,250 --> 00:12:59,070 you know, 301 00:12:59,150 --> 00:12:59,870 like in our descent, 302 00:13:00,010 --> 00:13:00,710 we were able to use 303 00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:01,730 a chartering badge. 304 00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:05,970 We stayed together 305 00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:07,050 for four years. 306 00:13:07,650 --> 00:13:08,470 He was really 307 00:13:08,470 --> 00:13:11,430 mentally and emotionally abusive. 308 00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:11,890 He was very, 309 00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:12,630 very, 310 00:13:13,370 --> 00:13:15,090 and that's just 311 00:13:15,090 --> 00:13:15,710 what I thought 312 00:13:15,710 --> 00:13:16,970 I deserved at the time. 313 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:20,570 Yeah, 314 00:13:20,610 --> 00:13:21,210 like I mentioned, 315 00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:22,490 I was still 316 00:13:22,490 --> 00:13:23,070 in ninth grade 317 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:23,210 twice. 318 00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:24,910 I was 319 00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:26,390 myself with these 320 00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:27,250 really just 321 00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:29,450 people that didn't 322 00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:31,070 have my best interest 323 00:13:31,070 --> 00:13:31,830 at church. 324 00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,510 And I hear 325 00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:34,070 when you 326 00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:38,910 age of 16 327 00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:39,490 and 328 00:13:39,490 --> 00:13:40,870 I felt like 329 00:13:40,870 --> 00:13:41,710 it gives 330 00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:43,070 and I've been 331 00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:43,650 through some 332 00:13:43,650 --> 00:13:44,830 like children facilities 333 00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:45,970 and my parents 334 00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:47,230 were so on to me. 335 00:13:47,670 --> 00:13:48,230 And so, 336 00:13:48,350 --> 00:13:48,790 you know, 337 00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:49,210 I felt like 338 00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:50,210 let's give this a try. 339 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,290 So together 340 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:52,370 we're fine. 341 00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:56,650 I didn't tell my parents. 342 00:13:56,650 --> 00:13:59,530 And I didn't tell a lot of people. 343 00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:01,070 So I actually 344 00:14:01,070 --> 00:14:02,490 get to, 345 00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:03,450 you know, 346 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:04,450 stimulate some 347 00:14:04,450 --> 00:14:05,490 finding sobriety 348 00:14:05,490 --> 00:14:07,630 around the age of 16. 349 00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:09,450 And at the time, 350 00:14:09,530 --> 00:14:10,130 I had started 351 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,410 going to AA meetings, 352 00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:12,390 getting introduced 353 00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:14,710 to young people 354 00:14:14,710 --> 00:14:15,130 in AA. 355 00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:17,190 And those 356 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:17,590 people, 357 00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:18,050 people, 358 00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:19,530 they were 359 00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:20,830 officially sober. 360 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:21,950 And when I had 361 00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:22,350 inside, 362 00:14:22,370 --> 00:14:23,330 and they were 363 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:23,910 happy, 364 00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:24,670 like genuinely 365 00:14:24,670 --> 00:14:25,270 happy. 366 00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:26,890 And they seemed 367 00:14:26,890 --> 00:14:28,170 genuinely 368 00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:30,250 concerned about me. 369 00:14:30,430 --> 00:14:30,850 And they seemed 370 00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:31,490 like they wanted 371 00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:32,390 to be with me. 372 00:14:32,810 --> 00:14:33,450 And so these 373 00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:34,470 people I was around, 374 00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:34,930 you know, 375 00:14:35,010 --> 00:14:36,030 it was like my sense. 376 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,010 But then I would go 377 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:37,590 and hang out 378 00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:38,530 with these other people 379 00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:40,170 that were giving me 380 00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:40,550 the best, 381 00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:41,070 I think, 382 00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,230 my best interest 383 00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:42,690 at church. 384 00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:43,250 I was still 385 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:43,970 with that guy, 386 00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:45,250 you know, 387 00:14:45,370 --> 00:14:45,690 I think, 388 00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:46,370 on a big face. 389 00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:47,830 And, you know, 390 00:14:47,850 --> 00:14:48,250 I was living 391 00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:49,230 these two lives. 392 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:51,290 And, you know, 393 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,330 also my character, 394 00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:53,510 being sad as me. 395 00:14:53,630 --> 00:14:53,990 And that was 396 00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:54,950 telling me, 397 00:14:55,030 --> 00:14:56,290 because I love my parents. 398 00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:57,310 I have so much 399 00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:58,010 respect for them. 400 00:14:58,110 --> 00:14:59,170 They're my best friends. 401 00:14:59,910 --> 00:15:01,870 And they made 402 00:15:01,870 --> 00:15:02,930 clear that I was 403 00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:03,650 lying to them. 404 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:04,870 So, 405 00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:06,690 I was 18, 406 00:15:06,910 --> 00:15:07,810 I was 97. 407 00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:09,290 And it was so big, 408 00:15:09,390 --> 00:15:09,750 excuse me, 409 00:15:10,470 --> 00:15:11,350 I was telling myself, 410 00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:12,450 like, 411 00:15:12,990 --> 00:15:13,610 let's not just 412 00:15:13,610 --> 00:15:14,370 give this a try. 413 00:15:14,890 --> 00:15:15,270 You know, 414 00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:16,990 I'm 13, 415 00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:17,910 and, you know, 416 00:15:17,990 --> 00:15:18,510 the other things 417 00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:19,050 they just didn't 418 00:15:19,050 --> 00:15:19,910 look at me. 419 00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:20,370 It's just 420 00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:20,710 crazy. 421 00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:21,170 It's crazy. 422 00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:22,150 I started so young, 423 00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:22,350 but anyway, 424 00:15:22,370 --> 00:15:23,430 I'm 35 years. 425 00:15:23,910 --> 00:15:24,370 It's just, 426 00:15:24,450 --> 00:15:25,470 I didn't really 427 00:15:25,470 --> 00:15:26,550 used to do this to me. 428 00:15:27,150 --> 00:15:27,550 At least, 429 00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:27,870 I didn't. 430 00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:28,450 I didn't change 431 00:15:28,450 --> 00:15:29,290 if I got fine. 432 00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:30,350 I didn't want to shut up 433 00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:31,510 while I was paranoid. 434 00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:32,030 I just, 435 00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,070 you know, 436 00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:33,490 I just, 437 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:34,190 I just, 438 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:34,710 I just, 439 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,030 I'm not doing this. 440 00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:36,550 So, 441 00:15:36,850 --> 00:15:37,110 you know, 442 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,430 let's just give this thing a go. 443 00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:38,950 Let's, 444 00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:39,370 you know, 445 00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:40,690 let's try sobriety. 446 00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:41,570 So, 447 00:15:41,970 --> 00:15:42,450 I'm in this, 448 00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:43,030 you know, 449 00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:45,270 I had ditched that guy 450 00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:45,910 at the time. 451 00:15:47,410 --> 00:15:48,430 Just really thinking, 452 00:15:48,850 --> 00:15:49,250 you know, 453 00:15:49,370 --> 00:15:50,930 I'm going to get married. 454 00:15:51,590 --> 00:15:52,210 I'm going to try to change. 455 00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:52,550 I'm going to continue 456 00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:53,090 my wedding. 457 00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:56,430 I had no prospects. 458 00:15:56,770 --> 00:15:58,070 I was a shot mess. 459 00:15:58,690 --> 00:15:58,910 You know, 460 00:15:58,930 --> 00:15:59,470 you saw me. 461 00:15:59,630 --> 00:15:59,950 I was, 462 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:00,590 you know, 463 00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:01,290 I was in bed. 464 00:16:02,030 --> 00:16:02,310 And, 465 00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:03,750 you know, 466 00:16:04,210 --> 00:16:04,810 I just thought, 467 00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:05,290 you know what? 468 00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:06,450 Maybe I can. 469 00:16:06,830 --> 00:16:07,810 Maybe I can't. 470 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:08,270 So, 471 00:16:08,370 --> 00:16:08,550 you know, 472 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:09,450 I just had to keep it 473 00:16:09,450 --> 00:16:10,030 really small. 474 00:16:10,130 --> 00:16:10,450 Today, 475 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,490 I'm not going to drink 476 00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:11,870 or eat. 477 00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:13,370 And, 478 00:16:13,370 --> 00:16:13,470 you know, 479 00:16:13,470 --> 00:16:14,170 we started sitting 480 00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:15,030 somewhere together. 481 00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:15,830 And, 482 00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:16,470 you know, 483 00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:17,370 like I said, 484 00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:18,470 July 11th, 485 00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:19,670 97th, 486 00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:19,950 is, 487 00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:20,230 you know, 488 00:16:20,290 --> 00:16:21,250 when the wind was 489 00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:22,150 blowing, 490 00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:23,570 the thought came to me 491 00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:23,970 and, 492 00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:24,670 gosh, 493 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,290 I've been able to stay 494 00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:27,290 sober ever since. 495 00:16:28,490 --> 00:16:29,490 I did it, 496 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:30,110 like I mentioned, 497 00:16:30,410 --> 00:16:33,550 I got really active 498 00:16:33,550 --> 00:16:34,450 and really quick. 499 00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:36,750 You know, 500 00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:37,890 I attended a lot of meetings. 501 00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:39,010 I got a sponsor. 502 00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:40,910 You get all this 503 00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:41,650 fun activities 504 00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:42,350 that you do 505 00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:43,430 in Young People AA. 506 00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:45,450 When I was 60 days, 507 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:45,890 I went to 508 00:16:45,890 --> 00:16:46,490 a convention 509 00:16:46,490 --> 00:16:48,910 in Young People AA 510 00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:49,590 in Toronto. 511 00:16:50,170 --> 00:16:50,750 And that's where 512 00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:51,470 I really started 513 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:52,190 to feel the way I was. 514 00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:52,670 And I found it. 515 00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,870 It was an experience 516 00:16:54,870 --> 00:16:55,510 for a young, 517 00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:56,430 sober person. 518 00:16:58,010 --> 00:16:58,050 And, 519 00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:58,950 I remember that. 520 00:16:59,050 --> 00:17:00,210 It really set me 521 00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:01,050 in this path 522 00:17:01,050 --> 00:17:01,930 as a 10-year-old. 523 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:03,860 And, 524 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:04,500 like I said, 525 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:05,540 my schooling 526 00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:06,700 was a joke. 527 00:17:06,820 --> 00:17:07,340 I had gone to 528 00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:08,020 Catholic school 529 00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:08,700 previously. 530 00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:09,620 And, 531 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:10,020 you know, 532 00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:11,900 I started my school 533 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:12,820 and I was so good. 534 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,920 I think it was 535 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:15,940 like a really easy 536 00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:17,020 study. 537 00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:17,420 I, 538 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:18,220 I, 539 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:18,600 I mean, 540 00:17:18,740 --> 00:17:19,440 I think I just 541 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,340 found the answers 542 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,560 in the back of the book. 543 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:21,960 I mean, 544 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:22,420 it would be an 545 00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:23,260 assignment. 546 00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:24,820 It was really 547 00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:25,560 shocking. 548 00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:26,880 And I did also 549 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:27,880 use just a couple 550 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:28,280 of hands 551 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:28,880 and I'm glad 552 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:29,160 that I didn't 553 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:29,780 like to do it. 554 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:31,080 So, 555 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:31,980 yeah, 556 00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:32,800 it's crazy. 557 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:33,800 But, 558 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:35,060 but it's when 559 00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:35,700 I got sober 560 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,160 and I didn't know 561 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:37,800 what I wanted 562 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,780 to do with my life. 563 00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:40,720 I was a nurse. 564 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:41,640 And, 565 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:42,460 I was, 566 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,160 at the time 567 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:43,800 I was a kid, 568 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,180 she was a health nurse 569 00:17:45,180 --> 00:17:46,020 so she would take me 570 00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:46,700 with her to visit 571 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:47,520 her patients. 572 00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:48,300 And, 573 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,480 she would invite me 574 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:49,740 to, 575 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:50,100 you know, 576 00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:51,560 to the hospital 577 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:52,280 and I would keep 578 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,480 talking and 579 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:55,320 I felt like 580 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:55,820 maybe this is 581 00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:56,720 something I could do. 582 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,120 I wouldn't suggest 583 00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,420 starting nursing school 584 00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:01,280 at 60 or so 585 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:01,580 much, 586 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:02,280 but, 587 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:03,840 after that 588 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:04,820 I just felt like 589 00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:05,400 I was, 590 00:18:05,580 --> 00:18:05,960 you know, 591 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:07,220 I would do 592 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,040 something greater. 593 00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:09,260 So, 594 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,420 my sister had, 595 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:11,660 and my sister, 596 00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:13,280 I didn't go to 597 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:13,540 see this, 598 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:14,500 I was a little child. 599 00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:15,200 So, 600 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,280 I was kind of 601 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:17,120 a little slown. 602 00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:17,860 My sister was 603 00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:18,880 a personality 604 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,560 and basically 605 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,240 whatever she would 606 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:22,020 tell me to do, 607 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:22,260 I would, 608 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:22,640 you know, 609 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,080 if I found out 610 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:25,660 I found it 611 00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:26,380 to be just like 612 00:18:26,380 --> 00:18:27,880 a little sister. 613 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:30,160 But, 614 00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:30,780 yeah, 615 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,300 my relationship was 616 00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:32,660 you know, 617 00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:33,240 like a little 618 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:34,000 shadow. 619 00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:35,900 You know, 620 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:36,880 I'd say that 621 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:37,560 I was gosh, 622 00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:38,640 yesterday 623 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,220 we started 624 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:39,580 raising, 625 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:41,080 we just got 626 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:41,560 sentenced to 627 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:41,960 three years 628 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:42,340 in prison. 629 00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,460 At the same time, 630 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:45,060 I remember 631 00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:45,780 that that would be 632 00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:46,160 my, 633 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:46,960 you know, 634 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:47,960 people in my past 635 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,080 were still 636 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:49,940 training in prison. 637 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:50,800 So, 638 00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:51,520 you know, 639 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:52,620 I was on the side 640 00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:52,880 now, 641 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:53,640 but, 642 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:54,040 um, 643 00:18:54,140 --> 00:18:54,400 um, 644 00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:55,560 so I don't think 645 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:56,180 this is a tale 646 00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:56,560 that's getting 647 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:57,000 me published. 648 00:18:57,420 --> 00:18:57,440 So, 649 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:58,060 you know, 650 00:18:58,100 --> 00:18:58,440 yeah, 651 00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:58,920 I was just, 652 00:18:58,980 --> 00:18:59,520 I was kind of 653 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,020 losing it. 654 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,300 I didn't do anything, 655 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,180 you know, 656 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:02,460 I, 657 00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:02,680 I, 658 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:03,280 I didn't, 659 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:03,760 I shouldn't 660 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:04,020 use it. 661 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:06,700 My sister said, 662 00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:06,960 can you 663 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:07,500 just forget it 664 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:08,060 at the end? 665 00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:08,560 You know, 666 00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:08,840 I didn't, 667 00:19:09,020 --> 00:19:09,800 so I said, 668 00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:11,120 okay. 669 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:12,040 So, 670 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:12,760 we went to this 671 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:13,420 school in 672 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:13,840 Bundy, 673 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:14,020 and, 674 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,380 you know, 675 00:19:15,860 --> 00:19:16,440 it was great 676 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,060 because I had 677 00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:18,240 my real education, 678 00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:19,260 but when I started, 679 00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:20,000 and I actually 680 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,840 did a good job, 681 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:21,940 which I was 682 00:19:21,940 --> 00:19:23,300 really surprised by, 683 00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:25,080 and I fell in love 684 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:25,460 with this 685 00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:25,960 and I was 686 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:26,340 missing. 687 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:28,680 I started 688 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:29,180 school, 689 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:30,200 I got my 690 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:30,520 life 691 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:31,540 all started, 692 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,020 and I 693 00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:34,220 was 694 00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:35,620 97, 695 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,000 yeah, 696 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:36,880 I had something 697 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:37,380 I was serving 698 00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:37,940 and started 699 00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:38,700 and graduating. 700 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:39,120 I was at 701 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,460 a 15-month program, 702 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,060 graduated, 703 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,140 graduated in 704 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:42,580 98, 705 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:43,440 and, 706 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:43,940 you know, 707 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,080 turned really 708 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,280 much at that point. 709 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:46,760 I mean, 710 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,520 I got really 711 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,580 active in 712 00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:48,700 the, 713 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:48,960 you know, 714 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:49,480 see those 715 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,500 sponsors, 716 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,820 but I 717 00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:52,380 didn't 718 00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:53,920 really do 719 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:54,220 those 720 00:19:54,220 --> 00:19:55,440 things 721 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:55,800 except 722 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:56,840 on 723 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:57,320 book 724 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:57,520 books. 725 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:58,140 I think I 726 00:19:58,140 --> 00:19:58,780 wrote first, 727 00:19:58,860 --> 00:19:59,000 second, 728 00:19:59,080 --> 00:19:59,440 and third, 729 00:19:59,540 --> 00:19:59,940 and I just 730 00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:00,600 felt really 731 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,500 like spiritually 732 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,080 grounded. 733 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:02,440 I just 734 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:02,640 didn't 735 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:03,240 think of 736 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,550 it as 737 00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:04,850 good. 738 00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:06,970 And I 739 00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:07,490 remember 740 00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:08,270 there was 741 00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:09,090 some 742 00:20:09,090 --> 00:20:10,150 big event, 743 00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:10,690 like some 744 00:20:10,690 --> 00:20:10,950 thing, 745 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:11,430 somebody was 746 00:20:11,430 --> 00:20:11,810 having a 747 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:12,090 study, 748 00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:12,850 still writing, 749 00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:13,610 I don't know 750 00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:13,890 what she 751 00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:14,230 does, 752 00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:14,910 and I 753 00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:17,490 started 754 00:20:17,490 --> 00:20:18,190 disarming 755 00:20:18,190 --> 00:20:19,070 these 756 00:20:19,070 --> 00:20:19,590 elements, 757 00:20:19,890 --> 00:20:20,650 and I was 758 00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:21,790 talking to my dad, 759 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:22,450 and I was 760 00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:23,330 telling my dad, 761 00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:23,530 like, 762 00:20:23,670 --> 00:20:24,930 and I said this, 763 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:25,690 my dad had been 764 00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:26,510 angry for me 765 00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:27,130 for years at this 766 00:20:27,130 --> 00:20:27,450 point. 767 00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:28,510 He was also 768 00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:29,230 an enforcement, 769 00:20:29,790 --> 00:20:30,110 and I was 770 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:30,610 one of his 771 00:20:30,610 --> 00:20:30,910 buddies, 772 00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:31,270 and they 773 00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:31,550 said, 774 00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:31,750 like, 775 00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:31,970 oh, 776 00:20:32,050 --> 00:20:32,410 the gym 777 00:20:32,410 --> 00:20:32,870 is so 778 00:20:32,870 --> 00:20:33,370 complicated, 779 00:20:33,590 --> 00:20:34,010 I'd be 780 00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:34,470 on my 781 00:20:34,470 --> 00:20:34,730 sense, 782 00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:35,050 right? 783 00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:35,490 And they 784 00:20:35,490 --> 00:20:35,930 made something 785 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:36,630 of me as a 786 00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:37,590 sergeant. 787 00:20:37,710 --> 00:20:39,930 I was like, 788 00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:40,210 oh, 789 00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:40,590 you need 790 00:20:40,590 --> 00:20:40,790 this 791 00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:41,110 really 792 00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:41,530 quickly. 793 00:20:42,070 --> 00:20:42,410 They were 794 00:20:42,410 --> 00:20:42,750 telling me 795 00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:43,010 all these 796 00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:43,210 things, 797 00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:43,430 and I was 798 00:20:43,430 --> 00:20:43,590 like, 799 00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:44,110 oh, 800 00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:44,570 my God, 801 00:20:49,890 --> 00:20:50,770 yeah, 802 00:20:50,990 --> 00:20:51,810 basically on a 803 00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:52,250 resentment, 804 00:20:52,770 --> 00:20:53,530 I was 805 00:20:53,530 --> 00:20:53,730 really 806 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:54,030 feeling 807 00:20:54,030 --> 00:20:54,550 like this. 808 00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:55,130 And the 809 00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:55,570 funny thing 810 00:20:55,570 --> 00:20:56,030 about me, 811 00:20:56,190 --> 00:20:56,350 you should 812 00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:56,730 know, 813 00:20:56,850 --> 00:20:57,130 I used 814 00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:57,550 my dad's 815 00:20:57,550 --> 00:20:57,930 expense 816 00:20:57,930 --> 00:20:59,550 to figure 817 00:20:59,550 --> 00:20:59,810 out 818 00:20:59,810 --> 00:20:59,970 the 819 00:20:59,970 --> 00:21:00,130 way 820 00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:00,270 to 821 00:21:00,270 --> 00:21:00,770 sign 822 00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:01,010 your 823 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:01,290 form. 824 00:21:01,530 --> 00:21:01,770 I said, 825 00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:02,110 if I 826 00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:02,250 get 827 00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:02,390 the 828 00:21:02,390 --> 00:21:03,010 dealership, 829 00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:03,430 I'm 830 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:03,610 going 831 00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:03,830 up 832 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:04,030 there. 833 00:21:04,410 --> 00:21:04,590 They 834 00:21:04,590 --> 00:21:04,850 finally 835 00:21:04,850 --> 00:21:06,490 showed me 836 00:21:06,490 --> 00:21:06,650 a 837 00:21:06,650 --> 00:21:06,890 full 838 00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:07,270 bench, 839 00:21:07,310 --> 00:21:08,150 and $15,000 840 00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:08,930 are in 841 00:21:08,930 --> 00:21:09,230 mine. 842 00:21:09,710 --> 00:21:10,150 So I 843 00:21:10,150 --> 00:21:10,210 was 844 00:21:10,210 --> 00:21:10,390 thinking, 845 00:21:10,590 --> 00:21:10,630 I'm 846 00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:10,830 going 847 00:21:10,830 --> 00:21:10,930 to 848 00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:13,890 do 849 00:21:13,890 --> 00:21:14,390 military. 850 00:21:15,030 --> 00:21:15,350 And they 851 00:21:15,350 --> 00:21:15,730 have 852 00:21:15,730 --> 00:21:15,910 an 853 00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:16,130 expense 854 00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:16,270 on 855 00:21:16,270 --> 00:21:16,630 me. 856 00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:20,270 This 857 00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:20,510 was 858 00:21:20,510 --> 00:21:20,770 the 859 00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:21,290 incursions 860 00:21:21,290 --> 00:21:21,570 of a 861 00:21:21,570 --> 00:21:21,870 young 862 00:21:21,870 --> 00:21:22,230 girl. 863 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:27,570 So, 864 00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:29,010 you know, 865 00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:29,310 I did 866 00:21:29,310 --> 00:21:29,530 know, 867 00:21:29,650 --> 00:21:30,570 I didn't 868 00:21:30,570 --> 00:21:30,810 know 869 00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:31,090 me. 870 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:33,850 I 871 00:21:33,850 --> 00:21:34,550 needed 872 00:21:34,550 --> 00:21:34,670 to 873 00:21:34,670 --> 00:21:34,790 do 874 00:21:34,790 --> 00:21:34,950 some 875 00:21:34,950 --> 00:21:35,310 training 876 00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:35,590 around 877 00:21:35,590 --> 00:21:35,750 the 878 00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:35,930 world. 879 00:21:37,110 --> 00:21:37,390 I 880 00:21:37,390 --> 00:21:37,850 did 881 00:21:37,850 --> 00:21:39,110 those 882 00:21:39,110 --> 00:21:39,470 too. 883 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:40,110 I 884 00:21:40,110 --> 00:21:40,790 was 885 00:21:40,790 --> 00:21:40,950 like, 886 00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:43,290 second 887 00:21:43,290 --> 00:21:43,870 year, 888 00:21:44,190 --> 00:21:44,410 I was 889 00:21:44,410 --> 00:21:46,050 second 890 00:21:46,050 --> 00:21:46,250 year, 891 00:21:46,270 --> 00:21:46,610 third 892 00:21:46,610 --> 00:21:47,130 cycle 893 00:21:47,130 --> 00:21:47,350 of 894 00:21:47,350 --> 00:21:47,890 females, 895 00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:48,110 the 896 00:21:48,110 --> 00:21:48,290 joint 897 00:21:48,290 --> 00:21:48,730 sergeants 898 00:21:48,730 --> 00:21:48,910 there, 899 00:21:49,050 --> 00:21:49,450 infantry 900 00:21:49,450 --> 00:21:49,930 post, 901 00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:50,150 and 902 00:21:50,150 --> 00:21:51,270 children 903 00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:51,770 testing. 904 00:21:51,770 --> 00:21:52,150 I 905 00:21:52,150 --> 00:21:52,450 didn't 906 00:21:52,450 --> 00:21:52,470 know 907 00:21:52,470 --> 00:21:52,610 what 908 00:21:52,610 --> 00:21:52,730 to 909 00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:52,890 do 910 00:21:52,890 --> 00:21:53,050 with 911 00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:53,350 this. 912 00:21:54,490 --> 00:21:54,730 I 913 00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:54,790 was 914 00:21:54,790 --> 00:21:54,990 like, 915 00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:55,290 John, 916 00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:55,710 please. 917 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:57,740 I 918 00:21:57,740 --> 00:21:57,900 didn't 919 00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:58,600 know 920 00:21:58,600 --> 00:21:58,800 what 921 00:21:58,800 --> 00:21:59,980 it was. 922 00:21:59,980 --> 00:22:00,140 It 923 00:22:00,140 --> 00:22:00,340 was 924 00:22:00,340 --> 00:22:00,540 an 925 00:22:00,540 --> 00:22:01,160 experience 926 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:06,060 I 927 00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:06,220 had 928 00:22:06,220 --> 00:22:06,620 learned. 929 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:07,080 I 930 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:07,320 thought 931 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:07,520 that 932 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:07,780 family 933 00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:08,040 could 934 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:08,520 do 935 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:09,120 BS. 936 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:09,300 It 937 00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:09,420 was 938 00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:09,600 like, 939 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:09,820 I 940 00:22:09,820 --> 00:22:10,140 really 941 00:22:10,140 --> 00:22:10,380 need 942 00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:10,800 BS 943 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:11,000 my 944 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:11,220 way 945 00:22:11,220 --> 00:22:11,380 to 946 00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:11,540 do 947 00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:11,780 it. 948 00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:15,730 It 949 00:22:15,730 --> 00:22:15,930 was 950 00:22:15,930 --> 00:22:16,070 like, 951 00:22:16,070 --> 00:22:16,430 Amy 952 00:22:17,230 --> 00:22:17,570 Strides. 953 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:17,790 Within 954 00:22:17,790 --> 00:22:18,030 like, 955 00:22:18,030 --> 00:22:18,350 six 956 00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:18,650 months 957 00:22:18,650 --> 00:22:18,970 of being 958 00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:18,990 an 959 00:22:18,990 --> 00:22:19,910 administrative 960 00:22:19,910 --> 00:22:20,770 . 961 00:22:20,770 --> 00:22:21,730 You're 962 00:22:21,730 --> 00:22:22,150 supposed 963 00:22:22,150 --> 00:22:22,510 to know 964 00:22:22,510 --> 00:22:22,910 something 965 00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:23,270 about 966 00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:23,470 the 967 00:22:23,470 --> 00:22:23,630 colony. 968 00:22:23,630 --> 00:22:23,910 I 969 00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:24,270 really 970 00:22:24,270 --> 00:22:24,510 didn't 971 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:24,690 know 972 00:22:24,690 --> 00:22:24,830 what 973 00:22:24,830 --> 00:22:24,950 I 974 00:22:24,950 --> 00:22:25,110 was 975 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:25,350 going 976 00:22:25,350 --> 00:22:25,650 to do. 977 00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:25,770 I 978 00:22:25,770 --> 00:22:25,970 didn't 979 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:26,010 know 980 00:22:26,010 --> 00:22:26,030 what 981 00:22:26,030 --> 00:22:26,330 I was 982 00:22:26,330 --> 00:22:26,410 going 983 00:22:26,410 --> 00:22:26,430 to do. 984 00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:26,950 I 985 00:22:26,950 --> 00:22:26,970 didn't 986 00:22:26,970 --> 00:22:27,530 know 987 00:22:27,530 --> 00:22:27,730 what 988 00:22:27,730 --> 00:22:27,930 I was 989 00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:28,070 going 990 00:22:28,070 --> 00:22:28,190 to do. 991 00:22:28,190 --> 00:22:28,230 I 992 00:22:28,230 --> 00:22:28,350 didn't 993 00:22:28,350 --> 00:22:28,450 know 994 00:22:28,450 --> 00:22:28,630 what 995 00:22:28,630 --> 00:22:28,730 I was 996 00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:28,810 going to 997 00:22:28,810 --> 00:22:28,950 do. 998 00:22:28,950 --> 00:22:29,550 So, 999 00:22:29,550 --> 00:22:29,950 I 1000 00:22:29,950 --> 00:22:30,210 got 1001 00:22:30,210 --> 00:22:30,470 here 1002 00:22:30,470 --> 00:22:30,730 four 1003 00:22:30,730 --> 00:22:31,090 years 1004 00:22:31,090 --> 00:22:31,430 ago. 1005 00:22:31,430 --> 00:22:31,570 I 1006 00:22:31,570 --> 00:22:31,730 was 1007 00:22:31,730 --> 00:22:31,950 pretty 1008 00:22:31,950 --> 00:22:32,270 cute 1009 00:22:32,270 --> 00:22:33,050 actually. 1010 00:22:33,050 --> 00:23:03,860 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1011 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:33,920 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1012 00:23:33,940 --> 00:24:04,340 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1013 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:34,340 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1014 00:24:34,360 --> 00:25:05,750 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1015 00:25:05,770 --> 00:25:35,750 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1016 00:25:35,770 --> 00:26:05,750 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1017 00:26:05,770 --> 00:26:07,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1018 00:26:07,770 --> 00:26:09,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1019 00:26:09,770 --> 00:26:11,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1020 00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:13,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1021 00:26:13,770 --> 00:26:15,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1022 00:26:15,770 --> 00:26:17,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1023 00:26:17,770 --> 00:26:19,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1024 00:26:19,770 --> 00:26:21,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1025 00:26:21,770 --> 00:26:23,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1026 00:26:23,770 --> 00:26:25,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1027 00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:27,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1028 00:26:27,770 --> 00:26:29,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1029 00:26:29,770 --> 00:26:31,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1030 00:26:31,770 --> 00:26:33,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1031 00:26:33,770 --> 00:26:35,770 We have an awesome nursing job here. 1032 00:26:35,770 --> 00:26:57,700 with her channel. She was a speaker, and it was Christiana Steele. She was no joke. She 1033 00:26:57,700 --> 00:27:07,860 was a very good speaker, and, you know, I, I really got to know her, and it was just 1034 00:27:07,860 --> 00:27:17,960 starting to, you know, it was, it has to be, you know, it was, you know, it saved my life. 1035 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:27,840 So, thank you for all the broad steps. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, 1036 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:57,850 I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, 1037 00:27:57,850 --> 00:28:02,670 I love you all so much, and then, you know, when not she is. 1038 00:28:04,470 --> 00:28:11,170 And I'm going to die, and let's see, until then, I'm going to be a screen reader, 1039 00:28:11,170 --> 00:28:19,050 and I'm going to be a witness, and I'm going to be a sponsor, and I'm going to be everything today. 1040 00:28:20,070 --> 00:28:27,750 I'm going to be a witness in happiness that I have, like, I didn't bring it right down to the ground. 1041 00:28:28,030 --> 00:28:32,010 Like, I literally, like, we got stuff that I was doing, like, it's really my stress. 1042 00:28:32,130 --> 00:28:33,490 Like, I didn't get all these things. 1043 00:28:33,610 --> 00:28:34,830 I just said, you know, it's not what it seems. 1044 00:28:35,860 --> 00:28:38,900 So, you know, and that's what really, it's so funny. 1045 00:28:38,900 --> 00:28:45,900 It's, you know, it was actually, and you're starting to see that I wasn't blind. 1046 00:28:46,380 --> 00:28:50,680 And that was not a fear with me, you know, because it was, you know, I had, I'm not sure, 1047 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,900 I'm not sure, that's why I cared about it. 1048 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,920 But I was starting to kind of see the side that I wasn't doing. 1049 00:28:58,100 --> 00:29:02,880 So, you know, that's when I thought, you know, people are really, you know, they're not blind, you know. 1050 00:29:03,420 --> 00:29:09,260 And I didn't realize, because I was so good, I had this killer resume. 1051 00:29:09,260 --> 00:29:12,380 And I realized, you know what, a resume is just a piece of paper. 1052 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,600 It's just, you know, it can, it can be like I'm flying away. 1053 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,960 And so I realized, you know, my wife, it's like, it's just the same. 1054 00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:24,080 And I realized it so quickly. 1055 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,420 And I didn't surrender. 1056 00:29:27,420 --> 00:29:27,480 I didn't surrender. 1057 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:27,920 I didn't surrender. 1058 00:29:27,940 --> 00:29:28,340 I didn't do something. 1059 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,180 So, I mean, I surrendered and it took direction. 1060 00:29:33,020 --> 00:29:36,560 Like I mentioned, I was doing these things and God made it happen to me. 1061 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,080 I got a dream job. 1062 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:44,720 And, you know, the way I got that, I don't want to take up too much of your time. 1063 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:49,240 But, you know, there's been several of them. 1064 00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:52,980 And why did I not? 1065 00:29:52,980 --> 00:29:54,320 I can't say that. 1066 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:54,860 I didn't. 1067 00:29:55,060 --> 00:29:55,800 But I know it. 1068 00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:56,760 I know it. 1069 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:57,440 But that's it. 1070 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:58,280 I know it. 1071 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,080 So, wait, wait a minute. 1072 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:13,280 I just thought my higher path process, I had to do this in teaching classes and sometimes 1073 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,640 people that I meet and stares. 1074 00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:20,440 I know, I really, I listened to what they were saying. 1075 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,820 I was like, I want to speak that out for me. 1076 00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:26,980 So, I'm going to say that out for me. 1077 00:30:26,980 --> 00:30:28,260 I was like, no, it's this guy. 1078 00:30:29,220 --> 00:30:30,780 But I got a new higher quality. 1079 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:36,860 I made some solid credits for that job, and I got it. 1080 00:30:37,780 --> 00:30:40,530 And, you know, I met somebody. 1081 00:30:41,330 --> 00:30:44,650 I had, you know, not been in a friend's relationship. 1082 00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:48,950 I had a relationship with a friend that I had. 1083 00:30:49,550 --> 00:30:53,230 I had a relationship with a friend that I had. 1084 00:30:54,430 --> 00:30:57,030 And I met a friend at the end. 1085 00:30:57,590 --> 00:31:04,650 And, you know, two years ago, I was able to, like, this, like, 1086 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:08,790 stars all over my head, and I was able to, like, go into his house. 1087 00:31:08,790 --> 00:31:11,090 And I love making videos so much. 1088 00:31:11,650 --> 00:31:16,590 And I was able to buy the house with, you know, some opportunities that I had. 1089 00:31:17,110 --> 00:31:19,310 And I built this house with my husband. 1090 00:31:20,250 --> 00:31:22,610 And, gosh, I really, really can't stand it for myself. 1091 00:31:22,710 --> 00:31:26,770 Just a few years back, I was able to send it to myself at the age of 18. 1092 00:31:26,910 --> 00:31:27,570 I was, you know, 1093 00:31:27,990 --> 00:31:28,650 Oh, my gosh. 1094 00:31:29,110 --> 00:31:29,510 Yes. 1095 00:31:29,790 --> 00:31:30,230 Like, I'm like, 1096 00:31:30,250 --> 00:31:34,270 Like I said, I'm not exactly great at that. 1097 00:31:34,370 --> 00:31:35,190 So I know the team. 1098 00:31:35,330 --> 00:31:37,130 I need to communicate to my student audience. 1099 00:31:37,930 --> 00:31:41,030 So I went through a lot of thesis when I was going to make things. 1100 00:31:41,110 --> 00:31:41,790 I was going to be. 1101 00:31:42,550 --> 00:31:45,070 I didn't know where everybody was around at the time. 1102 00:31:45,210 --> 00:31:46,450 I was, like, a screen dish. 1103 00:31:46,450 --> 00:31:46,890 I was, like, 1104 00:31:47,270 --> 00:31:49,070 I was gonna say, 1105 00:31:49,530 --> 00:31:50,480 I was gonna say, 1106 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:51,460 I was, like, 1107 00:31:51,460 --> 00:31:52,260 I was, like, 1108 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,480 I was, like, 1109 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,460 I was, like, 1110 00:31:56,740 --> 00:31:57,080 I was, like, 1111 00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:57,260 I was, like, 1112 00:31:57,260 --> 00:31:57,440 I was, like, 1113 00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:57,500 I was, like, 1114 00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:57,540 I was, like, 1115 00:31:57,540 --> 00:31:57,560 I was, like, 1116 00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:57,600 I was, like, 1117 00:32:28,260 --> 00:32:53,000 So, yeah, like, these, you know, my fiancé is, you know, you know, because I had, you know, got really good, especially after getting married, like, eventually got, I had my, I mean, I mean, a lot, but as long as I have been, you know, because, you know, I, you know, I have a lot of savings, you know. 1118 00:32:53,000 --> 00:33:23,230 I just wanted to stay home with you. 1119 00:33:23,250 --> 00:33:25,650 That's why your life's good. 1120 00:33:53,250 --> 00:33:54,930 I just can't adjust enough. 1121 00:33:55,250 --> 00:33:56,230 I am exhausted. 1122 00:33:56,630 --> 00:34:02,010 I, you know, but I had a, so, you know, I'm sorry, but I get to do it on my own, guys. 1123 00:34:03,030 --> 00:34:05,330 You know, I'm going to sleep in a regular bed. 1124 00:34:05,810 --> 00:34:06,750 I'm going to sleep in a regular bed. 1125 00:34:06,750 --> 00:34:10,530 I'm going to sleep in a regular bed. 1126 00:34:12,910 --> 00:34:14,590 And I'm going to sleep in a regular bed. 1127 00:34:14,590 --> 00:34:16,750 And I'm just, thank you all for having me.