1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:15,300 Hi, I'm Bob, and I'm an alcoholic. And I'm glad to be here tonight. And I'd like to first welcome those new fellows that raised their hands. You're in a good place. It's a warm, comfortable meeting. I don't think I've ever been here before, but I know a few people. 2 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:27,600 And yeah, so Linda and I went on a hike, which we like to do on Saturdays. And we ended up walking around that Woodland Hills Marriott. Some of you have been there over there for the convention in January. 3 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:37,140 But I said to her, brought back some memories. And we were talking. I said, I'll just share for a few minutes on the front end of this thing about Norway. 4 00:00:37,140 --> 00:00:39,000 I'm going to want to hear about Norway. 5 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:50,420 Well, here's the deal. Norway, I'm going to say it and tell it anyway, it really did a lot to change my life and a lot of coincidences. 6 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:53,500 For instance, I'm half Norwegian. 7 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:57,560 The founder of my, when I came into the program of the Pacific, 8 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,100 the Pacific group is Norwegian. 9 00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:05,720 My sponsor is Norwegian, Ken Jay. 10 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:10,800 I went to work for a Norwegian company that quartered in Oslo. 11 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:20,900 And a lot of the things that, as a matter of fact, one of the funny things is my sponsors, and he wouldn't care, identifies from the podium, Ken Jacobson. 12 00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:27,400 I don't know if some of you know him, but the founder of the group that he, he was a name, 13 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:38,840 Jack Jacobson in, in Norway, he got a patent in 1932 and this little articulating arm that's on the lights and magnifiers and turned it into a multi-billion dollar conglomerate. 14 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:44,300 He is the nicest, most humble man, Jack Jacobson, no relation to Ken, but Norwegian. 15 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:56,940 So I will tell you that, that, that Woodland Hills Marriott, I had a, the, the, the chairman of the board of the, of the public company that I, that I ran was a guy named Steiner Schwanstrom. 16 00:01:56,940 --> 00:02:02,100 And he was from Oslo and he'd come out once, once a year for board meeting. 17 00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:04,200 And I'd go back to Oslo three times a year. 18 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,360 They'd all, he'd always like to come in the winter time. 19 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,240 I don't know why he wanted to do that, but he, he did. 20 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:15,200 And, um, we were drunks and I, we shared that in common. 21 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:19,180 He stayed at the Marriott over there and we'd close that place down. 22 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,780 And one night I'll remember this. 23 00:02:21,780 --> 00:02:24,060 So that must've been about 25 years ago. 24 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,620 And we're sitting there closing the bar down. 25 00:02:26,940 --> 00:02:31,900 And, um, he looks at me and he says, Bob, he says, you, you must know that there are four kinds. 26 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,700 He's always trying to lecture to me. 27 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,040 And I think this was his idea 25 years ago. 28 00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:36,860 He came up with this. 29 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,500 I, he said, Bob, there's four kinds of people in this world. 30 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,780 There are those that make things happen. 31 00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:45,640 There are those that watch things happen. 32 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,240 There are those that wonder what's happening. 33 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,460 And there are those that never knew anything ever happened at all. 34 00:02:51,540 --> 00:02:53,060 So which one is it that you are? 35 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,180 And I said, oh, Steiner. 36 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:55,600 I says, Jesus, come on. 37 00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:56,500 I'm an arrogant fool. 38 00:02:56,940 --> 00:03:03,620 I'm a full blown alcoholic and, and, uh, there was just, you know, ego and pride and all this. 39 00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:05,620 I says, Steiner, what do you think? 40 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,100 I'm make things happen. 41 00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:07,640 Look at me. 42 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:17,360 I mean, I'm running a public company and I just started tap dancing my little braggadocious, you know, and I look back with 20, 20 hindsight back to that time. 43 00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:18,940 And here's the truth. 44 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,780 I was just a, at that point in my life is just a pathetic drunk. 45 00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:24,880 It's the truth. 46 00:03:25,180 --> 00:03:26,900 And the only thing I was making happen on. 47 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:31,920 A day-to-day basis is I'd make a bottle of cheap vodka disappear every day. 48 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,220 That was the extent of what I made happen. 49 00:03:35,140 --> 00:03:42,680 And most of the time, um, you know, you guys laugh, but most of the time I wondered what was happening. 50 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,420 I didn't, I didn't get it. 51 00:03:44,460 --> 00:03:50,920 I truly didn't get, and on a good day, I would see the, and it was true. 52 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,160 My health was gone. 53 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,300 My life was coming out of my sleeves and I would, I would. 54 00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:56,580 Yeah. 55 00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:58,920 I would just, what's happening to me. 56 00:03:58,960 --> 00:03:59,400 I won. 57 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,140 It was wondering what happened. 58 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,920 And, um, so there's my story of Norway. 59 00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:14,800 And I'm grateful today, um, uh, that I don't have to think, behave, act, and live like that. 60 00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:16,680 I'm just not the same person. 61 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:24,340 I'm just, I'm so grateful, but I have a, I have a talk here to, for, uh, 40 minutes, I guess, 40 more minutes. 62 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,680 And I will, uh, I'll do the format. 63 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:30,280 I'll go back to, uh, what I was like and what happened to me. 64 00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:34,360 Um, uh, you know, most of the story, you can take a nap. 65 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:43,180 I, I grew up, my sister and I in the projects over on San Fernando road in the fifties. 66 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:51,740 Uh, and it was funny because back then my sister and I thought that, uh, uh, the salvation army was Santa Claus. 67 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:56,720 And, um, here's a vision. 68 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,440 My mom was a little, I'm half Norwegian. 69 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,280 My mom was a little Irish drunk. 70 00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:02,840 Okay. 71 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,820 And here's the vision for you. 72 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:22,380 I can remember like it was yesterday being in the backseat of her old Mercury with my sister bouncing around in the back, the car filled with, um, smoke from, from her nonstop smoking. 73 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,840 The beer cans rattling on the front seat. 74 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:25,940 We're in the back seat. 75 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:27,080 She's drunk. 76 00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:27,760 She's a skunk. 77 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:28,400 We're driving. 78 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:36,060 I think San Fernando road somewhere down there and she's crying and, uh, and bellowing at the people going by. 79 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,960 And, uh, I was just terrified. 80 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:42,360 I was terrified for myself and I was terrified for my sister. 81 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:50,240 And as the year started passing, I never, ever going to, to, to end up like her. 82 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,080 This is, this is terrible. 83 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:56,660 But as a lot of, you know, who are in here, I ended up just like her. 84 00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,780 But more about that in a second. 85 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,500 So I, I, she was, I'll say this for her. 86 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,560 She was a hard, I had a love hate relationship. 87 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,220 You'll begin to figure out with her. 88 00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:11,280 You know, I really did love her unconditionally, but I was terrified and hated her also. 89 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:15,200 And, uh, um, she, uh, was a hard worker though. 90 00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:20,840 Back in the, in the early fifties when, when women were housewives and what have you, she, she worked. 91 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:22,120 My stepfather worked. 92 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:26,000 They raised themselves up, you know, the old middle class back when you could do that. 93 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,060 And they ended up saving. 94 00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:27,840 Enough money. 95 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:34,940 And it changed my life because we got into a lower middle class neighborhood up in, uh, near Montrose, California. 96 00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:38,220 And, uh, um, I'm a competitive little bastard. 97 00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:40,500 So I would grow where you plant me. 98 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:45,480 If I had stayed down on those projects, I'd probably be dead today, whether I drank or I didn't drink. 99 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:56,840 But I ended up in a neighborhood where they valued, uh, the, the parents were growing their, raising their children to, um, to, um, you know, have values of going and going to school. 100 00:06:56,840 --> 00:07:02,560 And playing sports and doing the stuff that, that, uh, uh, the kids in that neighborhood did. 101 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,820 And so I wanted to be like them. 102 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:09,200 And so I was in that, that environment as a consequence of that. 103 00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:16,520 And then the other thing that I have to share with you, I, I didn't pick up a drink till I was 21, probably because I didn't want to be like my mom. 104 00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:22,900 I would, I'm firmly convinced that I was an alcoholic from get go, but I just didn't have alcohol in me. 105 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:26,400 Uh, but I ended up, uh, going to school finishing. 106 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:26,600 I. 107 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:35,080 In those days, uh, you could, uh, you could get, uh, you could get an education without spending a number of a hundred thousand dollars. 108 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,440 And so I was able to get an education. 109 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:44,600 Um, I think I was the first one to ever, uh, in, on both sides of my family that ever went to on past the high school. 110 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,200 So I finished college and I didn't have any debt. 111 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:53,150 So, uh, I had a little VW and I went to, um, I went to Europe. 112 00:07:53,270 --> 00:07:56,570 I sold the, the, uh, the little, uh, VW. 113 00:07:56,970 --> 00:07:58,530 For $1,100. 114 00:07:58,530 --> 00:07:59,790 I remember like it was yesterday. 115 00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:08,930 And we, uh, my buddy and mine and I traveled Europe on that money for my side for about, uh, six months. 116 00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:11,090 I could spend six months in those days. 117 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:15,230 They had a book out called, you've seen some of your old timers of Europe on $5 a day. 118 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:22,210 And, uh, decades later, my controllers was to say, Bob, you ought to write a book a year upon $5,000 a day. 119 00:08:22,310 --> 00:08:24,850 But I, we did it five, $5 a day. 120 00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:26,810 It was a dollar a night for the youth. 121 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:30,730 And we got a Eurail pass and we, we did, we went all over Europe. 122 00:08:30,950 --> 00:08:37,570 And one of the reasons I'm bringing this up real quick is we ended up down in the Southern coast of Spain, which is a lot like Southern California. 123 00:08:37,570 --> 00:08:38,830 And I didn't want to leave there. 124 00:08:38,890 --> 00:08:40,370 I was an old surfer guy anyway. 125 00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:41,890 And I just wanted to stay down there. 126 00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:45,390 And, uh, Jerry says, no, we've, you know, we've got a treasure trove here. 127 00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:49,210 We got to go and see Madrid and the art and the Paris and the blah, blah, blah. 128 00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:51,110 And I said, no, no, no, we can stay down here. 129 00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:52,030 The weather's great. 130 00:08:52,030 --> 00:09:00,430 So we hooked up with some other Americans and they took us, uh, there was Southern coast of Spain across, uh, Algeciras and Gibraltar. 131 00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:02,030 And we ended up down in Tangiers. 132 00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:08,230 And in those days you could, um, smoke uncut hashish and it was legal. 133 00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:16,030 This, this was 1966, but you know, it's legal now, but some places, but it, it was legal in, in Tangiers. 134 00:09:16,030 --> 00:09:24,750 And as a consequence, uh, I had my first, I was a swimmer in college, so I, I didn't even smoke cigarettes. 135 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:31,750 I'd never smoked anything, but I smoked this, this hashish and I was screwed up for three days. 136 00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:35,570 I was seeing, I'm terrified of snakes. 137 00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:40,630 I was seeing cobras coming out of baskets and I'm seeing, I was hallucinating about everything. 138 00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:45,870 But the bad news was, uh, Jerry and the two other Americans and I, we, 139 00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:50,170 ended up getting Tomein poisoning in some Arab restaurant. 140 00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:54,010 I don't, little dive that we ate at and we almost died today. 141 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,210 I would have, it would have killed me. 142 00:09:55,270 --> 00:10:03,470 No question about it, but we were young and they took us over to, across to, to Algeciras in Spain, across Gibraltar. 143 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:08,770 And we spent over a week in the hospital trying to get this taken care of. 144 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:15,030 At the end of the week, I said, I'm never, ever having any drugs again. 145 00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:15,970 And. 146 00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:24,890 Uh, not to realize that alcohol obviously is a drug and I was to drink for 34 more years, but I didn't, I didn't smoke anything. 147 00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:27,410 I didn't use anything as Linda will attest. 148 00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:33,310 I don't even like to take aspirin if I can avoid it, that I, some, this thing that pushed me away. 149 00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:36,610 So that had a big effect on me, but I was an alcoholic. 150 00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:40,450 And when I picked up a drink over there in Europe, I was off to the races. 151 00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:42,550 I was just off to the races. 152 00:10:42,670 --> 00:10:45,490 I mean, it didn't, didn't start slow. 153 00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:46,010 And so. 154 00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:52,090 I said 34 years, I drank alcoholically and some of you have heard this, but I'll say it because it was my story. 155 00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:53,650 It's a progressive disease. 156 00:10:53,710 --> 00:10:58,690 The first 10 years, um, believe it or not, I, it was fun. 157 00:10:59,050 --> 00:10:59,970 I had a good time. 158 00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:00,490 I had fun. 159 00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:10,730 Second 10 years, it was a fun laced with some problems, the divorce and some things that were not pleasurable with my little kids and what have you. 160 00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:14,230 And then the last part of it was just problems. 161 00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:15,870 I mean, I was, I was. 162 00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:30,070 I was really messed up and I will tell you that the last couple of years of my drinking, I never want to forget, and I can summarize those fairly quickly with, with you because it was the same damn thing over and over and over. 163 00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:38,070 I would, um, I would get up in the morning, um, we lived out past West Hills and I'd get up in the morning. 164 00:11:38,070 --> 00:11:42,070 I had made promises then I have totally drunk and messed up. 165 00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:43,870 I'd made promises the night before. 166 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:44,870 It's going to be different. 167 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:45,950 It's going to be different today. 168 00:11:45,950 --> 00:12:02,970 I'd get up in the morning and that car 8, 8 30 in the morning would head towards, uh, the first liquor store that I could get when I got out of the canyon and I'd head in there and the, and the little lady that worked there, uh, behind the liquor store counter already had my half pint of vodka out for me. 169 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,270 And I'm dressed like this. 170 00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:13,830 My face is bloated and I'm fat and liver distended, but I'm basically, you know, dressed and she has this half bottle of vodka ready for me. 171 00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:15,850 And I didn't give a shit, you know, I, I. 172 00:12:15,950 --> 00:12:44,990 I just wanted, I wanted to get to get my, what I called my attitude adjustment going and so I got that and I'd put that bottle in my briefcase and, and, uh, I would drink it on the way to work and, uh, and it was gone by the time I got to work and I worked over in, um, um, Chatsworth and I had an office that, uh, had, the good news was it had a door and it had a bar and it had a bathroom. 173 00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:47,270 So I could do what I like to do. 174 00:12:47,270 --> 00:12:48,530 I could drink and isolate. 175 00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:54,290 My problem was I started to figure out, you know, I'm trying to run a company and I'll tell you a funny story. 176 00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:55,610 And this, this is the truth. 177 00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:57,350 Uh, this is what I did. 178 00:12:58,470 --> 00:13:03,830 Um, for you horror buffs, maybe some of you have heard of the Wolfman and Lon Chaney Jr. 179 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,920 Well, he was an alcoholic practicing alcoholic till the day he died. 180 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:15,000 Like, like, like we were not practicing, but he, like all of us and I read his obituary and I was. 181 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:29,760 Of course I wasn't drinking, you know, when I read this obituary and it said that Lon Chaney Jr, um, told his agents and this, his, his people that worked with him, that he never wanted to make a decision after 10 AM. 182 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:30,960 And I read that. 183 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,100 Now I thought, Jesus, that's a good idea. 184 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:39,480 And I, and I'm trying to run a company and I get there at about nine o'clock. 185 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,520 So I, this window of opportunity. 186 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:42,820 Oh. 187 00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:44,940 So, Jesus. 188 00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:56,670 race. Anyway, this, I would, my problem would be trying to control, as we say, control and enjoy 189 00:13:56,670 --> 00:14:02,430 my drinking. And if I was really enjoying it, I'd be under the desk by 11 o'clock. There's no 190 00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:08,090 question. But I would try to control it. I would go over to the valleys and try to dry out over 191 00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:17,310 there at noon and come back. And then I would somehow get home. And that's when the, when the 192 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:24,790 problems would start. On a good night, my wife would, would see me passed out pretty early. 193 00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:32,110 On a bad night, my behavior was awful. I didn't do any physical abuse, but you know, the tongue is 194 00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:38,070 bad. And I would rage and rant until mercifully I would pass out. And that, 195 00:14:38,090 --> 00:14:45,060 wasn't good. And this went on until we had a little boy. And it was my second 196 00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:56,000 marriage. And we had this little boy. And my, my wife, after a couple of years, when he was about 197 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:02,720 three years old, she said, I've had it. And she looked into it and tried to find an Al-Anon meeting. 198 00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:07,320 So she goes up to this place to do Mets. Some of you know where that is over at Canoga Park. And 199 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:08,140 she went there. And she said, I've had it. And she went there. And she said, I've had it. And 200 00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:13,620 she went there to find out how she could get me to stop drink. And they, they explained to her, 201 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:20,040 well, you know, he's on his path. You're going to have to let him run his course, but we can help 202 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:25,440 you work on yourself in the meantime. So she went, she became a black belt Al-Anon. And she was, 203 00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:31,140 for two years, she was doing the deal. And I was so resentful and angry. Why do you have to go to 204 00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:38,040 all these GD meetings? You could be home with me. Watch me pass out or rage or whatever I would do. 205 00:15:38,140 --> 00:15:49,340 So she was just biding her time. And after two years, a confluence of events happened. And 206 00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:55,360 I got, my sponsor and I were joking about this the other day, Ken and I talk to him every day. 207 00:15:55,480 --> 00:16:01,860 He's in Las Vegas now. He lives in Las Vegas too. But we talk every day. And, and the funny thing 208 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:09,440 is I, I was, I had a little noontime nap, but I had, I had a, like a 0.2 alcohol, 209 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:15,580 level at noon. I was over in Glendale and the cops got me and I had, and I wasn't driving. 210 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:19,940 And they said, well, how do you think your car got here, sir? Cause I was taking a nap in the car. 211 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:27,240 Anyway, I, I got, I got a DUI and they threw me in the, in the jail over there in Glendale. And, 212 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:33,000 and then I got out. And when I got home, you know, the Al-Anons for you that had any experience 213 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:39,000 with Al-Anon, they have a term, detachment with love. And Julie, 214 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:44,400 you know, she got out of that house. She threw me out. She tried to do it with love, 215 00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:51,360 but it happened. So there I was, no car and over at the Motel 8, somehow, and that's another 216 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:56,500 time for another story. How in the hell I still hung on to that job. I had the job, 217 00:16:56,580 --> 00:17:03,160 but I had to get to it. And my health was shot. And, uh, she said, you know, here's a card. If 218 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:08,660 you, if you think you might want to get some help here, you could call this number. This guy could 219 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:09,400 help you out. And I said, yeah, I can help you out. And she said, yeah, I can help you out. And I 220 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:09,420 said, yeah, I can help you out. And she said, yeah, I can help you out. And she said, yeah, 221 00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:15,940 I don't need any help. I was still arrogant. So, but I did want to be back in the house. I did want 222 00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:20,480 to be back with my son. And I did, you know, I had all these wants, but I didn't want to do, 223 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:26,080 do anything about it. Here's the truth about AA for me back then. I had nothing, no knowledge of AA. 224 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:32,140 And I shared this Friday night, right? Saturday, last night, I had no knowledge of AA and I didn't 225 00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:38,580 believe in God. I'd never believed in God. And I'd heard somewhere that this AA business has 226 00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:39,380 something to do with God. And I said, well, I don't believe in God. I don't believe in God. 227 00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:45,520 And if it does, I'm screwed. You know, that's just, that's, so I stayed away. I didn't want to, 228 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:50,880 um, after a while I'm thinking, you know what, I'll just stroke Julie and I'll go and I'll 229 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:55,980 call this guy and, and maybe, you know, I can get back in the house with that. Well, 230 00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,100 that wasn't to happen. A guy named Bob Z and we talked about, about him, you know him. 231 00:18:01,140 --> 00:18:09,340 And, uh, he was waiting for me and his, his wife, uh, Betty Ann was, uh, was Julie's grand sponsor. 232 00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:15,480 And, uh, in Al-Anon. And at that time I thought they had a million years sober, but I think they 233 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:23,600 had 20 or 22 years. And, um, I went to my first meeting and I says, I don't believe in God. I 234 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,280 don't want to use, no, no, it's okay. You don't have to worry about that. And that Tuesday meeting 235 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:33,580 on subject was God of our understanding. And I'm thinking, well, at any rate, the bottom line was 236 00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:37,780 he made a deal with, I liked deals back in those days, you know, I'll make a deal. 237 00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:39,160 And he said, 238 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:45,220 listen, try this thing for 90 days. You've heard it. If, if, if at the end of 90 days, you're, 239 00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:51,720 you're, uh, you're not happy, we'll refund your misery. So I, I, you know, I, I committed to 90 240 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:56,740 days and, and then it got, you know, more, uh, that specific group, they wanted, uh, commitments 241 00:18:56,740 --> 00:19:01,540 at all the meetings. And I'm living, I, I am living in, at this motel eight and I've got to 242 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:05,560 try and I'm not whining, but I had a full-time job and I'm trying to do my laundry and do all 243 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,300 this stuff, but no sniveling or whining. Um, 244 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:15,180 somehow, some way, you know, I, I got, I got some dispensation. I got Thursday off and I was able to 245 00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:20,060 do all the little, uh, tidbits with the laundry and all the other stuff. But by God, I did that 246 00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:25,760 90 and 90. And I, in the meantime, I was going to the yard and going to the, uh, these, um, 247 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:30,040 they call them watches. I'm not going to get into that time-wise, but they, they, they last 248 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:37,960 to past midnight, 1231. And I have to go to work the next morning. So, uh, but I did it for 90 days. 249 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:44,000 And at the end of 90 days, I was exhausted, but I thought this, this is a pretty good deal. You know, 250 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:50,380 this is a pretty good, so I asked Bob to sponsor me. And, uh, for a while, the guy would say, 251 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:54,680 you know, you're doing really good, but what about this God thing? How are you doing with that? 252 00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:00,080 Oh, Bob, you know, the group, I was on step two, you know, the group is, it can be my higher power. 253 00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:07,380 So, um, um, he said, after a while, and I've shared this with Linda before, he said, 254 00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:08,220 after a while, he said, after a while, he said, after a while, he said, after a while, he said, 255 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:13,220 he says, Bob, he says, maybe the closest to God you're ever going to get is in the seeking. Yeah. 256 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:19,960 So, uh, I started hitting my knees morning and night seeking. And it's funny. The book talks 257 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:25,660 about, uh, spirituality of the learned and experienced variety. And that's what happened 258 00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:31,760 to me. I don't know when it happened, but I, after, uh, after six months to a year in that 259 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:38,220 range, I started really believing and the obsession was removed. And I was off to the 260 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:47,980 races and, and, and doing, and doing the deal. And, uh, that was, uh, God willing, um, two, 261 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:53,400 two and a half weeks from now, it'll be 20 years. I've been in the, in the program and it's, 262 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:59,640 it's the best thing. AA is the best thing that ever happened to me. Truly. I mean, it saved my 263 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:07,880 life. Uh, I got back into the, uh, into the house and, uh, you know, it, it, um, 264 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:14,820 we had our ups and downs. I mean, I've had, uh, uh, I've had cancer twice and haven't had to pick 265 00:21:14,820 --> 00:21:22,820 up a drink. Thank God. I've lost Julie. She died 10 years ago. And, um, I've had, uh, you know, 266 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:27,500 bumps along the way. It hasn't, it hasn't been easy, but you know what? We'd keep doing the 267 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:32,880 deal. Right. And it's, it's, it, it works. And one of the things that I found that, that for me, 268 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:37,960 that works is, uh, getting out of self, you know, thinking about somebody else when things were, 269 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:44,740 when things were really bad in that cancer business, two things that I did is, uh, I was 270 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:51,480 really busy working with others and that saved my bacon. And they also, they made me secretary of 271 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:57,500 that Sunday morning meeting. It made me, because then we had to hunt for a meeting place too. So 272 00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:05,580 a whole bunch of stuff happened, but God saw a way to get me out of self. And, uh, and then 10 273 00:22:05,580 --> 00:22:08,120 years later, I got cancer again. 274 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:15,800 The market went down to nothing. 2009, the, uh, um, a number of, of my lost my wife and a whole 275 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:23,560 bunch of stuff. I was really down, but guess what? I had a son that was 14 years old, lost his 276 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:31,980 mother. So I threw myself into trying to, to raise a boy and, uh, and still work the program. And, 277 00:22:31,980 --> 00:22:37,840 uh, today he's up there in Menlo park. Uh, he's, he's got a good job. 278 00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:38,140 He's, 279 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,240 and more. 280 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,240 Bob C.: Well, I'll finish college. 281 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:44,260 He's just a wonderful, not like I was when I was his age, he's 25. 282 00:22:44,260 --> 00:22:46,060 He's a humble, nice kid. 283 00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:48,060 He really is. 284 00:22:48,060 --> 00:22:52,840 And I don't know where he got that because when I was his age, not only couldn't I grab 285 00:22:52,840 --> 00:23:00,120 my rear end with both hands, but I was just a piece of work back then. 286 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:04,620 And so let me ask you, what time do I, 5-2? 287 00:23:04,620 --> 00:23:05,620 Okay. 288 00:23:05,620 --> 00:23:11,240 Well, I'll talk a little bit about the rest of my family and spirituality and then I'll 289 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,030 sit down. 290 00:23:14,030 --> 00:23:16,670 I'm grateful today. 291 00:23:16,670 --> 00:23:20,190 I have a wonderful lady in my life. 292 00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:31,090 We've been going together four years and we have a really good AA spiritual family. 293 00:23:31,090 --> 00:23:35,030 And I think it's my other family. 294 00:23:35,030 --> 00:23:35,830 They've all grown. 295 00:23:35,830 --> 00:23:36,830 Bob C.: Yeah. 296 00:23:36,830 --> 00:23:37,830 Bob C.: And left. 297 00:23:37,830 --> 00:23:40,230 My oldest daughter, I can't believe this. 298 00:23:40,230 --> 00:23:41,230 She's going to be 50. 299 00:23:41,230 --> 00:23:43,710 She's going to be 50. 300 00:23:43,710 --> 00:23:50,770 And she is living up in, I want to say Northridge. 301 00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:52,590 What is, what's the ranch? 302 00:23:52,590 --> 00:23:53,590 Porter Ranch. 303 00:23:53,590 --> 00:23:54,590 Yeah, yeah. 304 00:23:54,590 --> 00:24:00,170 She's living up in Porter Ranch and she and I have two beautiful grandkids as a result. 305 00:24:00,170 --> 00:24:03,570 They were eight and 10. 306 00:24:03,570 --> 00:24:05,170 And then I have my second daughter. 307 00:24:05,170 --> 00:24:09,570 My second daughter is 47 and she's one of us. 308 00:24:09,570 --> 00:24:12,170 Oh boy, we've gone through hell with her. 309 00:24:12,170 --> 00:24:13,170 Really? 310 00:24:13,170 --> 00:24:16,990 That's another, I could spend the next 10 minutes on that. 311 00:24:16,990 --> 00:24:21,670 But thank God she's got four years to knit today. 312 00:24:21,670 --> 00:24:22,670 Yeah. 313 00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:23,670 How about that? 314 00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:24,670 God bless her. 315 00:24:24,670 --> 00:24:31,970 And she lives up in Cambria with her mom and I owe it to this program and I never thought 316 00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:33,170 that I'd ever say this 20 years ago. 317 00:24:33,170 --> 00:24:34,170 But I owe it to a loving God. 318 00:24:34,170 --> 00:24:35,170 I owe it to a loving God. 319 00:24:35,170 --> 00:24:47,890 And I am so grateful that I have a spiritual program and that I have God in my life and 320 00:24:47,890 --> 00:24:50,170 it's seen me through thick and thin. 321 00:24:50,170 --> 00:24:53,170 Today, you know what, we have a great life. 322 00:24:53,170 --> 00:24:59,170 You know, we were going to celebrate four years on May 8th and we're both, and I think 323 00:24:59,170 --> 00:25:00,170 I hit my knees every day. 324 00:25:00,170 --> 00:25:01,170 I don't have cancer. 325 00:25:01,170 --> 00:25:02,200 You know, I'm healthy. 326 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,200 I have cancer. 327 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,200 I have a heart attack. 328 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:09,520 I'm sober which is I probably should say sober first to God because if I wasn't sober I wouldn't 329 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:17,220 be healthy that's for darn sure and I'm alive you know and uh what a blessing and I truly truly owe 330 00:25:17,220 --> 00:25:24,540 it to to uh this program um our life is really good you know we have we have things we look 331 00:25:24,540 --> 00:25:32,040 forward to just what a blessing I have to I talk to my sponsor every day go to my the lady that 332 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:36,880 that shared for the 10 minutes I go to three meetings a week as well and and that seems to 333 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:43,080 center me a little less and I'm squirrely a little more I'll do more like it's four this week you 334 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:55,150 know so but um uh I I really believe that this program not only saved my life but will do the 335 00:25:55,150 --> 00:26:01,290 same if we're willing to get to work it and to do it you know and people share that uh 336 00:26:02,170 --> 00:26:10,510 oh AA is for those who need it you know or those who want it but it's been my experience AA is for 337 00:26:10,510 --> 00:26:20,350 those who do it yes and I was I was fortunate enough to be thrown into a a group and a program 338 00:26:20,350 --> 00:26:29,230 of action and uh that's that's what happened for me and before I knew it uh I was I was doing the 339 00:26:29,230 --> 00:26:31,930 deal and um um 340 00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:38,590 it's it's kept me in good stead and I'm just truly blessed and I'm going to finish it with that so 341 00:26:38,590 --> 00:26:39,430 thank you very much