1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,960 My name's Marty, I'm an alcoholic. 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,710 I want to thank Oscar for asking me to come out and share tonight. 3 00:00:05,710 --> 00:00:08,850 Carlos, Oscar, Juan. 4 00:00:08,850 --> 00:00:10,850 It's interesting coming to this group, you know. 5 00:00:10,850 --> 00:00:15,250 I knew this group when it was the Life's in Sessions group. 6 00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:19,690 And I knew the guys and the girls that started that group 7 00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:21,030 from a long time ago. 8 00:00:21,030 --> 00:00:24,190 And to see it grow and still be in existence 9 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,990 is really, really cool. 10 00:00:25,990 --> 00:00:29,690 I have a sobriety date since November 10th, 1977. 11 00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:32,190 I have a sponsor, his name's Clancy Emeslin. 12 00:00:32,190 --> 00:00:33,930 And I have a home group and it's called the Pacific Group. 13 00:00:33,930 --> 00:00:36,370 We're on the west side of Los Angeles. 14 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,190 And those three things are really good to me. 15 00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:41,510 You know, I was chatting with Clancy on Monday. 16 00:00:41,510 --> 00:00:42,970 It's my day to check in with him. 17 00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:45,010 And he invited me over to his house. 18 00:00:45,010 --> 00:00:48,010 And that has never happened, right? 19 00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:51,640 So I'm going, uh-oh, what's going on? 20 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,700 All right, now, Clancy's 91 years old. 21 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:57,200 So I could have been called over for anything. 22 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,780 I thought I'm gonna have to move to trash cans 23 00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:03,480 or cut down a limb or move some furniture for him 24 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,320 or something like that. 25 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:05,560 And I get over to his house 26 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,380 and he just wanted me to go on his walk. 27 00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:09,800 He has to walk three times a day, you know? 28 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,760 And so I went on this walk with him 29 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,060 and we got back to his house and I thought, 30 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:13,960 okay, is this it? 31 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,800 You know, do I just hop in my car and leave? 32 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,500 And he says, hey, kid, come inside. 33 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,160 I went, okay, so went inside with him. 34 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,180 I haven't been in his house for decades, right? 35 00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:26,800 And so I go in there, we sit down. 36 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:28,940 He gives me a cup of coffee 37 00:01:28,940 --> 00:01:30,780 because that's what AA's done to me. 38 00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:32,140 It's messed me up with coffee. 39 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:36,000 And he says, so what's going on, kid? 40 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,100 I went, nothing really. 41 00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,300 I mean, he says, well, I just thought 42 00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:39,700 maybe you needed to check in. 43 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,800 And I like literally had to think for a minute, you know? 44 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:45,500 I was like, no, actually, sir, I'm current with you. 45 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,780 And I went, wow, I have nothing to report to my sponsor. 46 00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:52,480 Here I've been waiting years for this opportunity 47 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:55,720 with this very busy man who sponsors a few hundred people, 48 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,140 right, and I finally get the opportunity. 49 00:01:57,140 --> 00:01:58,420 I just have nothing to say. 50 00:01:58,420 --> 00:01:59,320 And I says, Clancy. 51 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:04,080 I got to believe it's because I've been doing the right things 52 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,360 at the right time for many, many years now. 53 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,980 And therefore, I have nothing to check in with. 54 00:02:08,980 --> 00:02:10,500 And it was just a weird feeling 55 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,420 because that's not normally me. 56 00:02:12,420 --> 00:02:14,660 You know, I'm like Alex. 57 00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:17,000 I got sober at a very, very young age. 58 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:22,000 You know, I got sober at 15 in Simi Valley, you know? 59 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,800 There's only two things to do in Simi Valley, 60 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,580 and that's get drunk or get sober. 61 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:28,790 And I took the latter. 62 00:02:28,790 --> 00:02:29,510 I don't want to jump too far. 63 00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:31,650 I don't want to jump too far ahead. 64 00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:35,640 I know I see a few of you are judging me, you know? 65 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:36,880 Thanks, Tom. 66 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,200 A few people are judging me. 67 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,480 And I got a quepazo when I walked in. 68 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,640 I'm not Mexican. 69 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,620 I'm half Eskimo and I'm half German, you know? 70 00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:49,260 And my dad, too, has been married a long time. 71 00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:50,760 Neil, the first speaker. 72 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,920 My dad's been married 43 years. 73 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,220 Took six different women, but he's been married 74 00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:57,700 for a combination of 43 years. 75 00:02:57,700 --> 00:02:59,700 But see, that's who raised me. It was my dad. 76 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,700 My dad's the German, my mom's the Eskimo. 77 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:04,900 I never met my mom until my high school graduation. 78 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,540 It was the first time I met my mom. 79 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:07,640 I'm the youngest of three. 80 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:10,080 The divorce happened when I was about 11 months old. 81 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,440 The divorce was bitter and bad, and my dad moved 82 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,620 into a brand new house with us three kids. 83 00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:15,880 And when we moved into the house, 84 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,060 pictures of mom didn't go back up on the wall. 85 00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:20,320 So that became the missing piece of the puzzle, 86 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,280 because I looked nothing like my dad. 87 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,760 You know, Bruce and a couple other people know my dad. 88 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,120 My dad's six foot two, blond hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. 89 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,700 And I don't look like that guy. 90 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:31,800 Except for the blond hair. 91 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,000 Come on, gray is the new blond, right? 92 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,140 So I didn't look like this dude I was calling dad. 93 00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:41,280 You know, I already felt inside things ain't right. 94 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,020 You know, I don't know what it was. 95 00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:45,280 I didn't know how to articulate any of that stuff, 96 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,660 but I just knew it just wasn't right, you know? 97 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,680 And then I look at my outside picture, 98 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,920 and my outside picture, because of that cultural difference 99 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,900 of German and Eskimo, all three of us kids 100 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,000 look a little different from one another. 101 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,900 You know, my brother got a lot of my father's height. 102 00:03:58,900 --> 00:03:59,700 He's six foot one. 103 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,000 You know, and his facial structure's 104 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,600 a little different than mine. 105 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,440 And if you looked at my brother as we were growing up, 106 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,280 my brother really looked Korean, you know? 107 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,920 And then my sister, who was the next one that came out, 108 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,480 a lot of people know my sister Cindy. 109 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,040 She does a lot of speaking in Alcoholics Anonymous. 110 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,180 She's a great lady. 111 00:04:16,180 --> 00:04:18,220 But she got a lot of my mother's Eskimo features. 112 00:04:18,220 --> 00:04:20,180 She got the really slanted eyes. 113 00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:22,820 And so in school, as we were all teased growing up, 114 00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:25,620 she was teased as being a Jap and a chink, you know? 115 00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:28,400 And then there's me, you know? 116 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,500 And I was a thinker. 117 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,000 Before, I was a drinker. 118 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,440 And I put two and two together when I was a little kid. 119 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,580 My name's Marty, but my given name's Martin. 120 00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:37,040 And I, too, when I looked in the mirror, 121 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,380 thought I was looking at a Mexican. 122 00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:40,240 And I used to practice this in my bathroom mirror. 123 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,380 I used to cock my head back and squint my eyes a little bit. 124 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,020 And I used to go, it's a Martin, you know? 125 00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:48,120 And that R rolled so perfectly, I knew I was Mexican. 126 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,260 So I feel bad on the inside, and it looks weird on the outside 127 00:04:51,260 --> 00:04:53,320 because I got a white father, a Korean brother, 128 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,360 a Japanese sister. 129 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,460 I feel Mexican. 130 00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:57,160 And we're all told we're Eskimos, you know? 131 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,700 And so the picture was messed up. 132 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:05,300 I was born and raised out in the Riverside, San Bernardino area. 133 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,440 And yes, that's what makes me an alcoholic. 134 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,640 There's three of us Eskimos back in the 60s. 135 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,040 There's none of them out there anymore, right? 136 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:17,840 And so, anywho, it's important like it is, I'm sure, today. 137 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:19,740 You know, when you're a kid, you got to find that little clique 138 00:05:19,740 --> 00:05:21,020 that you're going to hang out with. 139 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:24,860 And so there weren't too many Eskimos cruising Riverside area. 140 00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:27,160 So we all try to find our own little gang, 141 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,220 our own little clique of people to hang out with. 142 00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:33,720 My brother, who some of you do know, Mike, 143 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:37,120 he's like really the book nerd, the geek, you know? 144 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:41,960 He was an ROTC before he went even to the military, you know? 145 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,760 And I don't know what ROTC stands for, 146 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,460 but it's military for kids in school. 147 00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:48,540 It doesn't make sense. 148 00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,400 ROTC kids, it doesn't. 149 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,140 Anyways, so anyways, that was my brother. 150 00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:55,180 My sister hung out with these things called the stoners, 151 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,780 you know, and that's her story. 152 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:59,280 And me, like I said, the inside was messed up. 153 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,580 The outside looked pretty bad and I'm going to make it worse 154 00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:04,780 because who I chose to hang out was with this kid 155 00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:06,860 I met at Riverside City College. 156 00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:08,960 And he was everything I wanted to be. 157 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,320 I'm nine and a half years old. 158 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,320 This kid's 11. 159 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,160 Now think about it. 160 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,220 Go back that far. 161 00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:14,600 If you're nine and a half years old, 162 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,360 you get to hang out with an 11 year old. 163 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,440 You already got it going on, you know? 164 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,540 And so externally, he's everything I want to be. 165 00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:22,500 I've always wanted to be white. 166 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,340 He was white. 167 00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,380 You know, I've always wanted the blonde hair. 168 00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:25,200 He had the blonde hair. 169 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,580 He had the green eyes. 170 00:06:26,580 --> 00:06:28,680 Everything about this kid, he's older than me. 171 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,640 I wanted to be him, not me. 172 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,420 And I started hanging out with him. 173 00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:36,020 And if you have low self-worth and low self-esteem issues 174 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:38,520 like I do, you hang out with people long enough, 175 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,660 you'll start dressing like them, walking like them, 176 00:06:40,660 --> 00:06:41,800 and talking like them. 177 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,060 And what I did is I met a kid that just moved out 178 00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:45,400 from Louisville, Kentucky. 179 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,060 And the only person that sounded like him 180 00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:49,600 on My Little Bitty World out in Riverside 181 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,100 was Jethro Bodine on the Beverly Hillbillies. 182 00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:55,000 So I met this kid that moved out from Louisville, Kentucky. 183 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,000 He's about as country as you can get. 184 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,680 And because of my low self-worth, 185 00:06:58,680 --> 00:06:59,380 I did. 186 00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:01,420 I started dressing like him, walking like him, 187 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,880 and talking like him. 188 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,920 You know, I became full bilingual after hanging out 189 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,820 with him for six months, because I started speaking Southern. 190 00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:09,660 You know? 191 00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:11,400 So my picture's all messed up, and I'm even 192 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,300 going to make it look worse. 193 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:17,100 Because I'm walking into my own family, into our own house, 194 00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,700 and I'd say, how y'all doing? 195 00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,500 You know? 196 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,900 And I'd make reference to things being about yea, long, 197 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,940 and stuff that was over yonder, you know? 198 00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:26,900 And I spoke Southern for such a long time, 199 00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:28,520 I still haven't gotten rid of those words. 200 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,980 I still use yonder a lot. 201 00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,620 But I just messed up the whole picture. 202 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,720 You know, I needed a drink long before I took a drink. 203 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,100 And you know, I've been in trouble as far back 204 00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:39,700 as I can remember. 205 00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:42,560 I started smoking cigarettes when I was six years old. 206 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,280 I have now raised two kids of my own, and it's weird. 207 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,780 It was weird looking at my kids at the age 208 00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:50,180 when I started doing X, Y, and Z. 209 00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,240 Because I looked at my son when he was six years old, 210 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,280 and that chest cavity's not even developed. 211 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,780 And here I am smoking cigarettes, you know? 212 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,320 I started ditching school. 213 00:07:58,320 --> 00:07:59,560 In first grade. 214 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,220 Yeah, now think about that for a minute. 215 00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:03,900 Where the hell was I going, you know? 216 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,400 I don't know up to that sandbox. 217 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,720 Well, I don't know why, but I would ditch school. 218 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,640 I loved the excitement, you know? 219 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:14,760 And my dad at this time was a probation officer. 220 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,940 And part-time he was going to school to get his, 221 00:08:17,940 --> 00:08:19,940 he has two PhDs behind his name. 222 00:08:19,940 --> 00:08:21,940 I think if you get one PhD behind your name, 223 00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:22,780 that's pretty good. 224 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:24,240 He's got two PhDs behind his name, 225 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,340 and he's a marriage family therapist. 226 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,140 So he's really, really smart. 227 00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:31,700 But at this time in my life, he was a probation officer, 228 00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,020 so I already knew what drugs and alcohol were about. 229 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:37,080 My dad's a drunk, so I know the effects. 230 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,520 I mean, I knew a lot before I even picked up. 231 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,860 And like I said, I've been smoking cigarettes. 232 00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:44,900 And I'm hanging out with this hillbilly at nine years old. 233 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,720 It was the summer before I was getting ready to turn 10. 234 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,800 I went over to the hillbilly's house, 235 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,360 and he turned me on to drugs and alcohol on the same day. 236 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,900 And while my dad was a probation officer, 237 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:54,560 he was also a intern for one of his PhDs 238 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,560 at this place out in San Bernardino 239 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,140 called Patton State Hospital. 240 00:08:58,140 --> 00:09:00,580 And it was a nut ward, you know? 241 00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,280 And one of the only structural things 242 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,840 that we had in our family growing up, 243 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,780 that dinner was at 5.30. 244 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,120 You know, dad, Pappy, was a bad drunk. 245 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:12,560 So a lot of kids had to come be in at six o'clock at night 246 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:13,720 or seven o'clock at night, 247 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,060 or some of the luckier kids got to be out 248 00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:18,100 until the street lights came on. 249 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,520 That was their time clock, you know? 250 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,560 Our dad was a drunk. 251 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,800 We didn't have to come in at all. 252 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,800 You know, we can come in at any time we wanted to. 253 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,740 But anyways, the only structure was dinner was at 5.30. 254 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,140 And I remember we were all sitting down, 255 00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:30,040 and we hadn't had a mom for a while. 256 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,240 And he looked at all of us, 257 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,280 and he's interning at that nut ward, you know? 258 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,280 And he looked at us three kids and says, 259 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,280 you know what, you guys have always wanted a mom. 260 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,120 And we thought, yeah. 261 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,560 He says, you're gonna get one once she gets out, you know? 262 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:45,820 And he started dating one of his clients at the nut ward. 263 00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:48,600 So sure enough, a weekend pass came along. 264 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,300 We met mom number two. 265 00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,100 And that's a whole nother story. 266 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:54,600 But anyways, that became part of my story, 267 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,800 not his marriages, but what I saw. 268 00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,980 You know, a lot of us, a lot of us have trauma as kids. 269 00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:04,340 A lot of us have dysfunctional things as kids. 270 00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:08,560 And I picked up a lot of women issues. 271 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,880 And conversely, I also picked up a lot of male issues, too, 272 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,260 because of what was going on in our household. 273 00:10:14,260 --> 00:10:15,900 It's a totally different environment today. 274 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,400 I've got 41 years of sobriety. 275 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,600 My sister has 42 years of sobriety. 276 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,760 Our current mom has 43 years of sobriety. 277 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,640 My dad has 44 years of sobriety. 278 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,040 So I don't know if this is a family disease, but I know it can be a family problem. 279 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:26,940 So I don't know if this is a family disease, but I know it can be a family problem. 280 00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:29,400 So I don't know if this is a family disease, but I know it can be a family recovery, you know. 281 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,580 And my older brother, he's been in and out a few times. 282 00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:35,840 He has enough chips to mosaic this podium. 283 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:43,520 But he currently has 1999, 20 years of sobriety, you know. 284 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,300 And we found out much later on in life 285 00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,900 that part of my dad's fourth step come up out of nowhere. 286 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,560 I'm 25 years old, I'm at work. 287 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,140 If I'm 25, it makes my sister about 26. 288 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:55,640 My brother, 27 or 28, depending on what time of year it was. 289 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:56,840 My brother, 27 or 28, depending on what time of year it was. 290 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:56,940 My brother, 27 or 28, depending on what time of year it was. 291 00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:57,740 My brother, 27 or 28, depending on what time of year it was. 292 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,640 And I get a call at work and they said, 293 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:00,840 hey, we have an older brother. 294 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,380 I said, we've always had an older brother. 295 00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:04,880 And my sister goes, no, we have one older than him. 296 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,980 And part of my dad's fourth step came out of nowhere. 297 00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:10,060 And dinner at 5.30, right? 298 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,460 So we like questioned dad, I was like, what's going on here? 299 00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:16,060 He's like, oh yeah, sort of forgot to tell you guys. 300 00:11:16,060 --> 00:11:17,320 You might have an older brother. 301 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,300 And we do. 302 00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:23,330 And now he has 36 years of sobriety. 303 00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:25,730 You know, coming in our house is like going to rehab. 304 00:11:25,730 --> 00:11:26,970 Yeah. 305 00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:28,370 You're going to get sober. 306 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:31,810 So anyways, he's now in our life and that's his story. 307 00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:33,850 And it's a good story as a matter of fact. 308 00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:36,470 And so anyways, out in Riverside area, 309 00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:37,690 everybody's doing their own thing. 310 00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:38,850 Dad's doing his thing. 311 00:11:38,850 --> 00:11:40,090 He's a really bad drunk. 312 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,650 Mom lost custody of us kids 313 00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:43,090 because she's a really bad drunk. 314 00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:44,990 She's still doing drugs and alcohol today. 315 00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:46,750 My mom's 80 years old. 316 00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:49,390 She moved back to Alaska where her people are. 317 00:11:49,390 --> 00:11:52,130 And she's 80 years old and she's still drinking 318 00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:54,130 and doing cocaine on a regular basis. 319 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,090 We figured nothing's going to kill that woman 320 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:56,970 because nothing can live 321 00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,130 inside of her body, you know. 322 00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,850 She drank and snorted it all out. 323 00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:05,510 But God bless her, 80 and still kicking butt, you know. 324 00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:08,310 And we have all at one point or another 325 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,910 taken her to an AA meeting over the years. 326 00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:12,950 I'll share about that in a minute. 327 00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:15,790 But anyways, so everybody's doing their own thing, you know. 328 00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:17,790 My brother and sister are also tearing it up 329 00:12:17,790 --> 00:12:19,830 and I'm not doing that good neither. 330 00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:22,770 And I'm hanging out with this hillbilly family a lot. 331 00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:25,230 I won't stick into my drunk-a-log too long. 332 00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:26,630 I will just qualify real quick. 333 00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:29,770 I picked up three break-in and enterings and two DUIs. 334 00:12:29,770 --> 00:12:31,970 And as I said earlier, I got sober at 15. 335 00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:33,570 You really should not have a DUI 336 00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:35,410 if you don't have a driver's license. 337 00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:36,710 But I got two of those. 338 00:12:36,710 --> 00:12:40,970 And just to qualify one of those DUIs, I was at a party. 339 00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:43,670 It seemed like everybody was making out but little Marty. 340 00:12:43,670 --> 00:12:47,350 So I asked the guy that took me to the party, 341 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,150 can I just drive your car around the block? 342 00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:50,810 He threw me the keys to get rid of me. 343 00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:52,450 He says, yeah, just drive around the block. 344 00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:54,350 And I didn't know how to drive. 345 00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:55,510 I'm short today. 346 00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:56,690 My first DUI I got when I was 13. 347 00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:57,950 I'm short today. 348 00:12:57,950 --> 00:13:00,930 When I was 13, I was really, really small. 349 00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:02,930 And my view of the road was between the dashboard 350 00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:03,730 and the steering wheel. 351 00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:05,730 So I had this little half-moon view of the road. 352 00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:08,630 And I made Essie and Marty look natural 353 00:13:08,630 --> 00:13:10,210 because I was a low rider. 354 00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:11,770 And I was sitting straight up. 355 00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:14,150 But I get in this car and I peeled out the car 356 00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:16,670 like they do on Starsky and Hutch and Beretta, 357 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:17,850 try to make it look good. 358 00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:20,910 And according to the police report, 359 00:13:20,910 --> 00:13:24,070 I hit the end of the street at about 65 miles an hour. 360 00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,750 And I found out this is 19, I'm going to guess, 361 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:29,090 74, 75. 362 00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:31,290 And back then, there was no power steering. 363 00:13:31,290 --> 00:13:32,550 Rack and pinion just started. 364 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,130 So there's a lot of play in the steering wheel. 365 00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:35,390 What I found out at the end of the street 366 00:13:35,390 --> 00:13:38,290 is that this does not constitute a full turn, you know? 367 00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:42,170 And evidently, I tore up somebody's nice green lawn, 368 00:13:42,170 --> 00:13:43,510 hit the main beam of the porch, 369 00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:45,310 and boom, I'm inside their house, 370 00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:46,630 you know, with this Ford Mustang. 371 00:13:46,630 --> 00:13:48,670 And like I said, I watched Starsky and Hutch and Beretta, 372 00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:49,710 and I knew I was in trouble. 373 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:51,210 So I started wiping everything down 374 00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:52,910 like they do on the TV, you know? 375 00:13:52,910 --> 00:13:55,050 And you got to wipe everything thoroughly down 376 00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:56,110 because, you know, they always leave something out. 377 00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:57,610 They always leave something behind. 378 00:13:57,610 --> 00:14:00,110 And I didn't want to be that dude that left something behind. 379 00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:01,350 So I wiped everything down. 380 00:14:01,350 --> 00:14:02,790 I swallowed this little roach clip 381 00:14:02,790 --> 00:14:04,490 because I do outside issues. 382 00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:05,990 Drank the rest of my Miller beer, 383 00:14:05,990 --> 00:14:08,490 wiped it all down, threw it on the floor. 384 00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:10,830 And I'm like cleaning my stuff up big time. 385 00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:13,790 I'm drunk, but I'm coherent, you know? 386 00:14:13,790 --> 00:14:15,330 And I'm a gentleman, too. 387 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:18,030 So I wipe everything down. 388 00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:19,470 I get out of the car. 389 00:14:19,470 --> 00:14:20,530 I go up the front door. 390 00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:22,270 I'm trying to wiggle this front door open. 391 00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:24,610 I could have went out this 10-foot hole I made in the wall, 392 00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:26,110 but I'm a gentleman, so I'm trying to exit. 393 00:14:26,110 --> 00:14:29,610 I go to the front door and start wiping all that down. 394 00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:30,790 I start running down to the party. 395 00:14:30,790 --> 00:14:32,990 And I guess this is when I blacked out, you know? 396 00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:35,290 And according to people at the party and the police report, 397 00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:36,550 I just went up to the car owner. 398 00:14:36,550 --> 00:14:39,090 I said, here, here's the keys to your car. 399 00:14:39,090 --> 00:14:39,990 He says, where is it? 400 00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:41,290 I said, it's parked around the corner. 401 00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:43,390 And I go get it. 402 00:14:43,390 --> 00:14:44,090 He says, I can't. 403 00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:44,990 I'll go get it. 404 00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:46,090 He said, I don't think you can, neither. 405 00:14:46,090 --> 00:14:52,470 And so, you know, it showed up as a big ordeal, you know, 74. 406 00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:55,230 You can do a lot of damage in 74 and get away with it. 407 00:14:55,230 --> 00:14:56,110 And I got away with it. 408 00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:57,350 I got away with that one. 409 00:14:57,350 --> 00:15:03,050 And my second DUI, just to wrap up my drunk-a-log, is I went out to this Hillbilly family. 410 00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:05,090 It was on a Saturday night, just like this, you know? 411 00:15:05,090 --> 00:15:06,290 The sun was getting ready to set. 412 00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:08,890 It's a beautiful night in Riverside, California. 413 00:15:08,890 --> 00:15:12,930 And I'm hanging out with the Hillbilly family all day long because they're all drinkers, you know? 414 00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:18,090 And that's how you get alcohol when you're 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, and 15, 415 00:15:18,090 --> 00:15:21,630 is that you got to know old people that don't mind having kids drunk around them. 416 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,710 And the Hillbilly dad was this guy, you know? 417 00:15:24,710 --> 00:15:26,110 And he'd buy us beer all day long. 418 00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:28,610 We started drinking on a Saturday over there at the house. 419 00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:31,610 And about the time the sun was getting ready to set, he yells out, 420 00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:33,010 uh, we're almost out of beer. 421 00:15:33,010 --> 00:15:35,490 And everybody goes, oh, and he says, let's go get more. 422 00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:37,030 Yeah, you know? 423 00:15:37,030 --> 00:15:39,990 And the Hillbilly dad said, you know, I'm too drunk to drive. 424 00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:41,450 And he looked at his oldest son, Ronnie. 425 00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:44,390 He says, Ronnie, drive us to the liquor store so you can get more beer. 426 00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:45,730 And Ronnie goes, I'm too drunk to drive. 427 00:15:45,730 --> 00:15:46,530 Get Tim to drive. 428 00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,390 Tim's my Hillbilly friend. 429 00:15:48,390 --> 00:15:50,570 And Tim goes, I'm too drunk to drive, too. 430 00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:51,430 Let Marty drive. 431 00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:52,930 He's driven before, you know? 432 00:15:52,930 --> 00:15:55,950 And what can go wrong here, right? 433 00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:59,050 And so I looked at Mr. Mercer, and I said, you know, 434 00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:01,350 I really shouldn't drive because I'm drunk, too. 435 00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:04,690 And he says, you know, the good old drunk line, you know? 436 00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:06,130 Don't worry about it. 437 00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:08,430 I'll be in the front seat with you if anything goes bad. 438 00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:10,290 No, that didn't happen, you know? 439 00:16:10,290 --> 00:16:12,030 And we take off to the liquor store, 440 00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:15,210 and I'm just scared because my only episode of driving 441 00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:17,070 is all the way inside somebody's house. 442 00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:19,010 And everybody's having fun. 443 00:16:19,010 --> 00:16:21,270 This is pre-seatbelt days. 444 00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:23,450 It's pre-headrest days. 445 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,690 The two Hillbilly boys are in the back seat, lean over 446 00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:28,930 in the front seat, all laughing and joking and having fun. 447 00:16:28,930 --> 00:16:32,370 I got that petrified drunk stare on the road, you know? 448 00:16:32,370 --> 00:16:34,770 And the Hillbilly dad is patting me on the back. 449 00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:36,070 See, you're doing it hard. 450 00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:36,970 Everybody's drunk. 451 00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:38,930 But unfortunately, there's a car in front of me. 452 00:16:38,930 --> 00:16:39,970 Stopped at a red light. 453 00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:40,930 And I sort of freaked out. 454 00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,670 When I freaked out, I was just stiffening up my leg, 455 00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,010 and my foot was on the gas pedal. 456 00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,510 So sure enough, I gassed it, and I rear-ended this car. 457 00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:48,110 And this is when something bad happened, 458 00:16:48,110 --> 00:16:49,450 because when I rear-ended the car, 459 00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:50,910 their heads went forward, their heads came back, 460 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:51,810 their heads fell off. 461 00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,350 And the Hillbilly dad just went, oh my god, 462 00:16:53,350 --> 00:16:55,190 you just decapitated two people. 463 00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:57,230 And he started throwing up on me. 464 00:16:57,230 --> 00:17:00,390 And you know, if you throw up on me, I'm gonna throw up back. 465 00:17:00,390 --> 00:17:02,790 And the two Hillbilly boys started throwing up on us. 466 00:17:02,790 --> 00:17:05,970 It's just a big old puke fest in the 65 Chevy Nova 467 00:17:05,970 --> 00:17:08,890 that I just ruined, and I rear-ended this car, you know? 468 00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:10,170 And we're all drunk. 469 00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:11,810 And the two people get out of their car, 470 00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:12,810 and they start walking back, 471 00:17:12,810 --> 00:17:14,030 and the Hillbilly dad freaked out. 472 00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:15,710 It's like, oh my god, they're zombies. 473 00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:17,270 They're coming back, you know? 474 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:20,770 And what happened is I just rear-ended two prostitutes 475 00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:22,470 who were getting ready to go out and work for the night. 476 00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:23,310 And when I rear-ended them, 477 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,150 their heads went forward, 478 00:17:24,150 --> 00:17:24,970 and when their heads came back, 479 00:17:24,970 --> 00:17:25,950 their wigs fell off. 480 00:17:25,950 --> 00:17:28,610 And when you're drunk, that, was that you? 481 00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:32,110 Marty, you go, girl. 482 00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:34,830 But it looked like I decapitated two people, you know? 483 00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:37,290 And so anyways, that's my second DUI. 484 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,270 Couple break and enterings. 485 00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:40,090 No big deal. 486 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:41,330 I didn't steal anything. 487 00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:42,890 On my last break and enter, this was pretty cool. 488 00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:43,990 I was just chatting with somebody. 489 00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:46,130 I went to that desert powwow that just happened, 490 00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:48,610 and I was chatting with somebody before the powwow. 491 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,070 And we were talking about that, 492 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,810 you know that excitement when you're running away 493 00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:53,150 from something? 494 00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:55,950 You know, just that full rush. 495 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:59,030 He's talking about, he loved to steal cars 496 00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:00,330 and look in the rearview mirror 497 00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,150 as somebody's yelling and anything, you know? 498 00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:03,390 And he loved that rush. 499 00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,990 And I went, yeah, you know, my last break and entering, 500 00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:07,230 police actually showed up. 501 00:18:07,230 --> 00:18:09,270 And they started shooting at me and this hillbilly. 502 00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:11,370 And there's nothing more exhilarating when you're running 503 00:18:11,370 --> 00:18:12,930 and you hear something going right by your head going, 504 00:18:12,930 --> 00:18:15,230 like, what was that, you know? 505 00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:16,910 And that's just that rush. 506 00:18:16,910 --> 00:18:18,270 It's that good stuff, man. 507 00:18:18,270 --> 00:18:19,870 Anyways, calm down, calm down. 508 00:18:19,870 --> 00:18:22,610 And so anyways, there's all that, you know? 509 00:18:22,610 --> 00:18:25,110 My dad started acting weird, 510 00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:28,790 because he's always been a drunk and a womanizer. 511 00:18:28,790 --> 00:18:30,690 I mean, he gives up anything. 512 00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:33,390 And that line in the big book where it says, 513 00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:35,250 we cease to fight anything or anyone, 514 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,890 that's my dad's motto. 515 00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:38,290 He doesn't fight anything, you know? 516 00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:39,530 He just gives everything up. 517 00:18:39,530 --> 00:18:41,630 And my dad started acting weird. 518 00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:43,470 He started going to this place out in Riverside 519 00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:44,630 called the Arlington Club. 520 00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:47,070 We didn't know what the Arlington Club was. 521 00:18:47,070 --> 00:18:49,110 And he's currently on mom number three. 522 00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:52,610 And you know, when he got sober, mom number three left. 523 00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:54,310 You know, and she had three of her own kids. 524 00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:55,510 He had three of his kids. 525 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,910 We had this big house in Riverside 526 00:18:56,910 --> 00:19:00,570 right next to Riverside City College. 527 00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:01,710 And when she moved out, 528 00:19:01,710 --> 00:19:04,150 we ended up with some empty rooms in our house. 529 00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:05,710 And my dad looked at us kids and he says, 530 00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:08,410 you know, I'm having a hard time meeting mortgage. 531 00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:09,790 So I'm gonna start moving people in 532 00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:12,390 from the Arlington Club to help me meet mortgage. 533 00:19:12,390 --> 00:19:13,950 And we're like, yeah, whatever, you know? 534 00:19:13,950 --> 00:19:16,730 We don't even know what the Arlington Club is, you know? 535 00:19:16,730 --> 00:19:19,070 And so who my dad moved into these empty rooms 536 00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:21,890 was the first person who moved right up my alley. 537 00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:22,570 He moved in this guy's house. 538 00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:22,730 He moved in this guy's house. He moved in this guy's house. 539 00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:24,470 I named Cowboy Dave. 540 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:26,770 It seemed like everybody had nicknames back in the 70s. 541 00:19:26,770 --> 00:19:27,610 Right? 542 00:19:27,610 --> 00:19:28,870 And so Cowboy Dave moved in. 543 00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:29,710 He's this big dude. 544 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,350 He could fill up the whole doorway. 545 00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,610 And he was Southern like me. 546 00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:35,850 And we sat around the living room 547 00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:38,190 and we'd share stories back and forth. 548 00:19:38,190 --> 00:19:39,430 And when I couldn't convince him 549 00:19:39,430 --> 00:19:40,690 that I was hillbilly enough for him, 550 00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:42,590 I'd start singing hillbilly songs. 551 00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:44,690 Like, you know, what you gonna do when the pond goes dry? 552 00:19:44,690 --> 00:19:46,390 You know, uh-huh. 553 00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:48,390 Gonna sit on the bank and watch tadpoles die. 554 00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:49,470 Yes, sir. 555 00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:52,170 So anyways, you know, I just trying to commiserate 556 00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:53,710 with my hillbilly friend, you know, 557 00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:55,010 and he's this big Texan boy. 558 00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:57,250 And the next guy, my person, my dad moved in 559 00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:58,510 was this little lady named Dee. 560 00:19:58,510 --> 00:20:00,050 I always use these names 561 00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:02,110 because after 41 years of sobriety, 562 00:20:02,110 --> 00:20:05,550 I have so many small world stories, it's ridiculous. 563 00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:07,610 You know, I know a lot of you in this room, 564 00:20:07,610 --> 00:20:08,450 but it's a trip. 565 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:11,390 I could be on vacation, Yosemite, you know, 566 00:20:11,390 --> 00:20:13,450 and I hit a meeting and all of a sudden I'll see Noel there. 567 00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:14,350 You know, it's like, 568 00:20:14,350 --> 00:20:16,690 I have so many small world stories nowadays. 569 00:20:16,690 --> 00:20:19,070 So I use these names because I'd love to run into them. 570 00:20:19,070 --> 00:20:20,770 You know, I'd love to see Cowboy Dave again. 571 00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:21,970 Next person my dad moved in, 572 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,230 is this little lady named Dee. 573 00:20:23,230 --> 00:20:24,530 She's about four foot 11, 574 00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:27,650 had this oily stringy brown hair, 575 00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:29,410 and she about eight or nine teeth left 576 00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:31,370 because she's doing something else, you know? 577 00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:34,650 And man, she's about 19 and a half months pregnant. 578 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,910 I mean, she's like way out there, you know? 579 00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:40,590 And she would moan all day long in her bedroom 580 00:20:40,590 --> 00:20:42,630 because she's on disability from this pregnancy 581 00:20:42,630 --> 00:20:45,190 and just, you know, 582 00:20:45,190 --> 00:20:48,270 and then her boyfriend Dexter would show up on his Harley, 583 00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:50,070 come on our driveway, come on our lawn, 584 00:20:50,070 --> 00:20:51,970 rev his Harley engine because he didn't have a horn 585 00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:53,170 on that bike. 586 00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:54,310 And that was his horn. 587 00:20:54,310 --> 00:20:56,910 And dude, she stopped moaning. 588 00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:58,670 She'd run out and she put this blue jean, 589 00:20:58,670 --> 00:21:00,210 me and my sister talk about this a lot. 590 00:21:00,210 --> 00:21:02,410 She had put on this blue jean coat 591 00:21:02,410 --> 00:21:04,490 and it didn't even go around her belly, you know? 592 00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:05,610 And she was so pregnant. 593 00:21:05,610 --> 00:21:08,430 She used to get on the back of this motorcycle backwards 594 00:21:08,430 --> 00:21:11,450 and she'd interlock her arms onto Dexter's arms 595 00:21:11,450 --> 00:21:13,930 and they're off to the Arlington Club, you know? 596 00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:17,230 And Cowboy Dave would go to the Arlington Club. 597 00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:19,030 And last person my dad moved in 598 00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:20,130 was this guy named Leonard. 599 00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:21,430 Now, not every kind of an Alcoholics Anonymous, 600 00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:22,890 is wired right. 601 00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:24,370 Leonard was a full on pedophile. 602 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:26,230 And the unfortunate thing is he just moved in the house 603 00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:27,870 with three teenage kids. 604 00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:31,070 And we lived a block away from Riverside City College 605 00:21:31,070 --> 00:21:32,970 and his pickup line on all three of us kids 606 00:21:32,970 --> 00:21:36,270 is that he's going to college 607 00:21:36,270 --> 00:21:39,320 studying early childhood development 608 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,560 and could we help him with his classes? 609 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,080 And it worked on all three of us kids. 610 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,020 You know, all three of us have stories about Leonard, 611 00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:48,600 you know, so love to run into him as an adult now, 612 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,320 especially with a mallet in my hand. 613 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:51,400 But anyways, that, 614 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,060 so that was the Arlington Club. 615 00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:55,840 We still don't know what the Arlington Club is, 616 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,240 but it's got a eclectic set of people over there, you know? 617 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,040 And then my sister one night OD'd on Southern Comfort. 618 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:06,260 And when she got out of Riverside Community Hospital, 619 00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:07,780 my dad gave her an ultimatum. 620 00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:10,020 You either join AA or you join AA. 621 00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:11,180 And we're like, what? 622 00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:13,400 And so my sister that night went to the Arlington Club. 623 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,720 She came back, she goes, oh my God, you guys, 624 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,920 the Arlington Club is Alcoholics Anonymous. 625 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,700 Now us kids, we never heard of that. 626 00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:22,320 We're like, well, what's that? 627 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,460 You know, we thought she's gonna learn how to drink 628 00:22:24,460 --> 00:22:26,060 or get some new connections or something. 629 00:22:26,060 --> 00:22:27,260 I don't know what we're thinking. 630 00:22:27,260 --> 00:22:29,280 And Cindy goes, no, they don't drink. 631 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,760 And me and my brother were perplexed. 632 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,620 It's like, like, don't drink what? 633 00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:33,460 You know? 634 00:22:33,460 --> 00:22:35,680 And she says, they don't drink alcohol at all. 635 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:39,300 I have to go to AA and I don't get to drink anymore. 636 00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:41,700 So the next night when she went to her meeting, 637 00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:43,560 the Arlington Club, we threw a big old party 638 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,260 with all of her friends, all of our friends. 639 00:22:45,260 --> 00:22:47,200 We're saying goodbye to Cindy, like she's dying, you know? 640 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,040 Bye, good luck. 641 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,940 And my brother ended up rolling a car 642 00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:54,840 with the owner of the car that he was in 643 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,220 and they were upside down on somebody's lawn 644 00:22:57,220 --> 00:22:58,540 and they got arrested. 645 00:22:58,540 --> 00:22:59,680 They went to juvenile hall. 646 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:00,900 When he got out of juvenile hall, 647 00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:02,840 he got the same ultimatum my sister got. 648 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,620 You either join AA or you join AA. 649 00:23:04,620 --> 00:23:07,760 So I'm losing my whole household to this thing called AA. 650 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,300 And my dad got a job transfer from Riverside 651 00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:13,520 to this place called Simi Valley. 652 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,520 At this time, it was my ninth grade year. 653 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:18,840 I'd already been kicked out of every school in the world. 654 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,920 Every school in Riverside, Poly High, Ramona High, 655 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:22,840 and some other high school, 656 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,960 I got kicked out of them all in ninth grade 657 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,820 because I have a hard time with showing up, I guess. 658 00:23:28,820 --> 00:23:30,680 And so we moved to Simi Valley 659 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,800 and things got really, really weird for me, you know? 660 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,500 Because my whole family's going to AA every single night, 661 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:38,900 you know, and there used to be this thing back in the 70s 662 00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:41,120 called the meeting after the meeting, you know? 663 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:44,100 And the meeting after the meeting seemed to be at our house 664 00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:46,320 because there's three members in our house that was sober, 665 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,600 you know, and I'm in my bedroom trying to get my groove on 666 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,840 and you guys would show up, you know? 667 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,640 You talk about the speaker you heard that night. 668 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,940 Oh, he was great when he said that, or when she said this, 669 00:23:55,940 --> 00:23:58,640 or gosh, she's so spiritual, he's so spiritual. 670 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,760 You just make me puke, you know? 671 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,560 And I started running out of everything. 672 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,400 And one night I did, I ran out of everything. 673 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:07,600 I drank everything I had. 674 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,400 I stole all the money I could possibly steal to buy whatever. 675 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,580 And I started scraping all the seeds and the stem 676 00:24:12,580 --> 00:24:15,480 out of my jean drawer and I started smoking that. 677 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,520 I started smoking all my screens and things are getting really, 678 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,460 really desperate. 679 00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:22,520 And one night I had nothing and you guys came over, 680 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,040 you really upset me and I had nothing in my bedroom. 681 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:26,960 I'm like, what do I do? 682 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,120 And I looked up in my closet and there's three bongs 683 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,480 up in my closet and I went, there's water in that bong. 684 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:33,720 This lady up here tried it. 685 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,220 There's no way you go, oh, if you didn't try it. 686 00:24:37,220 --> 00:24:39,200 So I started drinking my bong water, you know? 687 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,320 And my whole family's smart. 688 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:42,720 My dad's got a couple PhDs. 689 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,460 My brother should be a medical doctor, 690 00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:47,840 but his drinking career kicked him out three weeks 691 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:48,520 before he graduated. 692 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,020 He graduated medical school. 693 00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,140 So my brother's really smart. 694 00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:53,940 My sister just got her second master's degree last month. 695 00:24:53,940 --> 00:24:56,580 And my sister's like, my whole family's smart. 696 00:24:56,580 --> 00:24:58,840 But my brother walked in as I'm drinking these bongs, 697 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,760 you know, drinking my bong water. 698 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,320 And he goes, oh, you think you're so cute. 699 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,060 You should put beer in your bong. 700 00:25:04,060 --> 00:25:06,520 I'm like, God, is he smart, you know? 701 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,700 And so I scored on some Old English 800, 702 00:25:09,700 --> 00:25:11,960 threw that in my bong, hit that for a few days. 703 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,320 And I drank that and I guarantee that make your teeth itch, 704 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:16,960 you know? 705 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,580 Two day old, Old English 800 with bongs. 706 00:25:18,580 --> 00:25:19,960 It was a bunch of resin in it. 707 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,100 It was pretty gnarly. 708 00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:24,620 And so I went to A&A with my family, you know? 709 00:25:24,620 --> 00:25:25,820 They talked me into going to a meeting. 710 00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:27,700 This is 1977. 711 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:30,320 My whole family's sober. 712 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,360 Disco was in. 713 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:33,080 Polyester was happening. 714 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,860 And John Travolta was the man, you know? 715 00:25:35,860 --> 00:25:37,460 And my whole family, unfortunately, 716 00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:39,440 was really into disco. 717 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,080 And they put on their best John Travolta starter kit. 718 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:47,760 And what they used to do in Simi Valley for excitement is they 719 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:48,420 get dressed up. 720 00:25:48,420 --> 00:25:51,580 On Friday night, and they come out here to the San Fernando 721 00:25:51,580 --> 00:25:52,080 Valley. 722 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,420 Yeah, exactly. 723 00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:55,260 That's hot, man, right? 724 00:25:55,260 --> 00:25:56,360 I'm 15 years old. 725 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,380 I went, no, I don't want to do that. 726 00:25:58,380 --> 00:26:01,560 And so my sister talked me into going to a meeting. 727 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,640 So I went, OK, I'll go on that Friday night. 728 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,420 You guys seem to really enjoy that Friday night thing. 729 00:26:06,420 --> 00:26:09,740 And it was over here in Canoga Park somewhere 730 00:26:09,740 --> 00:26:12,920 on Topanga Canyon Boulevard. 731 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:17,040 There was a church, tall roof. 732 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:18,420 I think it's a garden center today. 733 00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:20,000 We went to this meeting. 734 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,180 And they talked about the speaker I was going to hear that night. 735 00:26:22,180 --> 00:26:23,100 You're going to love this speaker. 736 00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:23,940 You're going to love this speaker. 737 00:26:23,940 --> 00:26:24,780 You're going to love this speaker. 738 00:26:24,780 --> 00:26:26,820 Heard it all the way out there, you know? 739 00:26:26,820 --> 00:26:28,320 And I didn't know what I was in for. 740 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,740 But it was an interesting meeting. 741 00:26:29,740 --> 00:26:31,500 It was about 200 people on a Friday night. 742 00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:32,280 They went to this meeting. 743 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:33,120 It was just like this. 744 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:34,620 There's a podium with an aisle. 745 00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:37,240 And there's five chairs on this side, five chairs on that way. 746 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:38,580 And it went way back in the church. 747 00:26:38,580 --> 00:26:41,920 And this very first speaker I got to hear speaking 748 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,420 in Alcoholics Anonymous was this guy named Norm Alpe. 749 00:26:44,420 --> 00:26:46,140 Now, a few of you don't even know who this is. 750 00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:48,940 But Norm Alpe used to give one hell of a talk, you know? 751 00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:49,920 Just a dynamite guy. 752 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,540 He loved Alcoholics Anonymous. 753 00:26:51,540 --> 00:26:52,580 And he had so much energy. 754 00:26:52,580 --> 00:26:55,400 You felt him when he walked into the room. 755 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,740 Norm Alpe was that dynamic, you know? 756 00:26:57,740 --> 00:26:59,360 And I heard him speak that night. 757 00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:00,600 And I was all ears. 758 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,220 My dad always believes in sitting in the front row, you know? 759 00:27:04,220 --> 00:27:06,740 When you go to college, as long as my dad has gone to college, 760 00:27:06,740 --> 00:27:08,820 he believes in sitting in the front row all the time. 761 00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:09,940 That's where you learn. 762 00:27:09,940 --> 00:27:11,100 You learn in the front row. 763 00:27:11,100 --> 00:27:12,180 That's where winners sit. 764 00:27:12,180 --> 00:27:14,220 I mean, I heard this my whole sobriety, you know? 765 00:27:14,220 --> 00:27:16,260 And so sure enough, we're there. 766 00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:18,120 There's dad in the first chair. 767 00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:20,920 At that time, there's potential mom number four. 768 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,780 And then there is my brother, my sister, 769 00:27:22,780 --> 00:27:24,120 and I had the last seat. 770 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,100 And Norm Alpe said this one line that night. 771 00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:28,800 He says, it doesn't matter what you drank, how much you drank. 772 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,420 He said, it doesn't matter how old you are. 773 00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:31,720 You can be 8 or 80. 774 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,340 And when he dipped down to that age of 8, 775 00:27:33,340 --> 00:27:34,960 he looked at us three teenage kids. 776 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,080 I'm 15, my sister's 16, and my brother's 17. 777 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,120 And I felt like he was saying that to us three kids. 778 00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:42,180 It doesn't matter if you're 8 or 80. 779 00:27:42,180 --> 00:27:43,980 If alcohol's tearing up any part of your life, 780 00:27:43,980 --> 00:27:45,320 you're in the right place. 781 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:46,360 And I heard it that night. 782 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,900 I didn't raise my hand as an alcoholic, 783 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:49,200 but it just resonated in me. 784 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:50,880 And I went back the next Friday night 785 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,600 to go hear Norm speak again, because I thought 786 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,120 Norm spoke there every Friday night. 787 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:57,220 And my little blessing is my second speaker 788 00:27:57,220 --> 00:27:59,040 that I heard speak and the first time I raised my hand 789 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:00,980 as an alcoholic, I could hear this guy named 790 00:28:00,980 --> 00:28:02,600 Chuck Chamberlain speak. 791 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,760 You know, to me, back in the 70s, you're not getting sober. 792 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,260 After you hear Chuck and Norm speak, 793 00:28:07,260 --> 00:28:08,220 you're not getting sober. 794 00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:09,840 That was the bottom line. 795 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,860 It's equivalent to today, like hearing Johnny and Clancy speak 796 00:28:12,860 --> 00:28:13,560 back to back. 797 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:14,940 If you don't get sober after those two guys, 798 00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:16,560 you're probably not getting sober. 799 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,080 So I got blessed with this guy, and he's 62 years old. 800 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,600 I'm 15 years old, and somehow I identified. 801 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,240 I know today it's called the language of the heart. 802 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,800 And I did not know what I was in for. 803 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,400 I didn't know how long I was going to try AA. 804 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,940 I didn't see the slogans up on the wall. 805 00:28:31,940 --> 00:28:34,680 There used to be this one up there called One Day at a Time. 806 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,800 I didn't get a hold of that idea at all. 807 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,920 I joined Alcoholics Anonymous at the age of 15. 808 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,680 And somebody stood up and gave a GSR report 809 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,640 at the end of the meeting. 810 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,140 Group service representative. 811 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:44,520 This group has one. 812 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,720 And the GSR at this meeting stood up 813 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:48,400 and said that the average young person coming 814 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,920 in Alcoholics Anonymous back in 1977 was 32. 815 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,500 And I thought to myself, because I was a thinker 816 00:28:53,500 --> 00:28:55,540 before I was a drinker, I'm only 15. 817 00:28:55,540 --> 00:28:57,440 And the average young age is 32. 818 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,440 That means I can try what you guys have to offer for 10 years. 819 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,740 And if I don't like what you guys have to offer after 10 years, 820 00:29:02,740 --> 00:29:05,240 I can still go out and drink for another five years 821 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,280 and still come back in under the average young age, right? 822 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,920 And so that's what I did. 823 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,680 I joined Alcoholics Anonymous. 824 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:13,400 I joined AA. 825 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,320 I was scared. 826 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,160 I did everything you guys said that you did from the podium. 827 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,200 So I don't even care if people are glorifying their sobriety 828 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,580 and try to send out their AA resume. 829 00:29:23,580 --> 00:29:25,380 I lived off of that. 830 00:29:25,380 --> 00:29:27,620 If you said you got a sponsor, I got a sponsor. 831 00:29:27,620 --> 00:29:29,700 If you said that you did the steps, I did the steps. 832 00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:31,500 If you said you got commitments at every meeting, 833 00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:32,620 I got a commitment. 834 00:29:32,620 --> 00:29:34,040 I did whatever you guys said. 835 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,080 And I had a sponsor that didn't want 836 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,560 me to make a major decision in my first year of sobriety. 837 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:43,360 And my brother left Simi Valley, and he joined this militant, 838 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,620 group called the United States Navy, you know? 839 00:29:45,620 --> 00:29:49,780 And my dad got a job transfer to Roseburg, Oregon. 840 00:29:49,780 --> 00:29:51,660 And I'm now sober. 841 00:29:51,660 --> 00:29:53,160 I've been sober a year. 842 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,660 I got to go to an adult education high school. 843 00:29:56,660 --> 00:29:58,080 It wasn't even continuation school. 844 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,580 I got kicked out of so many high schools when I was drinking. 845 00:30:00,580 --> 00:30:02,620 I even got kicked out of all the continuation schools 846 00:30:02,620 --> 00:30:03,840 out in Simi Valley. 847 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,260 So I had to go in adult ed at night, you know? 848 00:30:06,260 --> 00:30:08,260 And so I was able to go at my own pace, 849 00:30:08,260 --> 00:30:09,680 and I was able to graduate early. 850 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,740 And you know, when my dad got a job transfer to Roseburg, Oregon, 851 00:30:12,740 --> 00:30:13,240 I was still way under. 852 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,860 I was only 16 and a half years old. 853 00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:18,280 And my sister, my brother went and joined that militant group. 854 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,620 My sister left and joined this militant group 855 00:30:20,620 --> 00:30:23,920 on the west side of Los Angeles called the Pacific Group, you know? 856 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,620 And I just sort of watched the two of them, you know? 857 00:30:26,620 --> 00:30:30,580 My brother, my gauge on my brother was he always had short hair. 858 00:30:30,580 --> 00:30:33,440 He always had a pocket full of cash, and he never smiled. 859 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:34,660 My brother, the Navy. 860 00:30:34,660 --> 00:30:38,800 My sister, my gauge on her was she was extremely busy. 861 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,540 She was always smiling. 862 00:30:40,540 --> 00:30:42,620 She never had a dollar in her purse. 863 00:30:42,620 --> 00:30:43,820 Those were my gauges. 864 00:30:43,820 --> 00:30:44,780 So I got it. 865 00:30:44,780 --> 00:30:47,120 My dad got this job transfer to Roseburg, Oregon. 866 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,760 I had to move with him because I was underage. 867 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,100 I'm coming up on 17 years old. 868 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,060 I'm coming up on two years of sobriety. 869 00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:57,260 And I was bussing tables at Denny's in Roseburg, Oregon. 870 00:30:57,260 --> 00:31:00,980 I felt like I should be at least CEO of the universe. 871 00:31:00,980 --> 00:31:03,800 But no, I'm only bussing tables at Denny's. 872 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,800 And so I was bummed out, and I looked at those two gauges. 873 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,940 I'm going to follow my brother and my sister, you know? 874 00:31:08,940 --> 00:31:11,460 And so I went and joined the United States Navy. 875 00:31:11,460 --> 00:31:15,280 And I was 1,000 miles away from my sponsor, who told me not to make a major decision in 876 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,580 my first year. 877 00:31:16,580 --> 00:31:21,300 And I stuck to that until I was almost two years sober before I made my first major decision. 878 00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:24,980 And the guys up there in Roseburg, Oregon, told me that I'd be lucky to get out of boot 879 00:31:24,980 --> 00:31:25,980 camp sober. 880 00:31:25,980 --> 00:31:29,720 And so I went and joined the United States Navy, and I didn't tell anybody in boot camp 881 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:30,720 that I was sober. 882 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:31,720 I went to A school in Chicago. 883 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,820 I never told anybody in A school that I was sober. 884 00:31:33,820 --> 00:31:34,820 But I always went to meetings. 885 00:31:34,820 --> 00:31:39,700 One of the gifts about being in the military sober was I was able to go to meetings to 886 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:40,700 10 different countries. 887 00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:43,440 Because the Navy took me to 10 different countries. 888 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,460 And I know that you can call up the GSO in New York and say, hey, I'm Marty. 889 00:31:46,460 --> 00:31:47,460 I'm an alcoholic. 890 00:31:47,460 --> 00:31:48,460 I'm in Singapore. 891 00:31:48,460 --> 00:31:51,160 And they'll give you a name and a phone number all the time. 892 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:52,160 You know? 893 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,160 And that's what I did. 894 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,600 When I went to 10 different countries, I always called the GSO, and I said, my name's Marty. 895 00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:56,600 I'm an alcoholic. 896 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,860 I'm in Pusan, Korea one night, you know? 897 00:31:58,860 --> 00:32:01,620 So they sent me to this church in Pusan, Korea. 898 00:32:01,620 --> 00:32:04,700 And I went around this church twice, and nothing was going on. 899 00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:05,700 I'm like, what? 900 00:32:05,700 --> 00:32:07,940 I thought there was supposed to be an AA meeting. 901 00:32:07,940 --> 00:32:10,740 The door finally cracked open a little bit, and light coming out of it. 902 00:32:10,740 --> 00:32:14,240 So I went over there, peeked in the door, and I saw a thick blue book and a thin blue 903 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:15,240 book. 904 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,240 And it had Korean writing on it. 905 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:17,880 And I don't speak Korean, you know? 906 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,700 But I really thought that was the big book and the 12 and 12, right? 907 00:32:21,700 --> 00:32:23,400 The thick blue book and the thin blue book. 908 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,300 And I walked in, and they're boiling tea, you know, coffee, tea, whatever. 909 00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:30,280 And so I sat down, and there's five Korean guys and no women. 910 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,700 And they're sharing in Korean, and I don't speak Korean, and they don't speak English. 911 00:32:34,700 --> 00:32:36,700 And so some dude shares. 912 00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:39,040 And it sounded like he got done sharing. 913 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,160 So I went, oh, I was the only dude clapping, uh-oh. 914 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,500 So somebody else shared, and when he got done sharing, I did it again. 915 00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:46,620 I went, oh, you don't clap here, man. 916 00:32:46,620 --> 00:32:49,220 And I think, I think they all got done sharing. 917 00:32:49,220 --> 00:32:52,980 Because when they got done sharing, it was quiet in that room, and they all went, oh, 918 00:32:52,980 --> 00:32:54,200 must be my turn to share. 919 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,700 So I shared in English. 920 00:32:56,700 --> 00:33:01,000 And I'm going to assume they thought I was done, because they all looked at each other 921 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,000 and went, they clapped for the American, you know? 922 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,000 And I felt so good when I went back to the base, you know? 923 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,860 And I'm in the taxi driving back to the base, and it dawned on me. 924 00:33:09,860 --> 00:33:12,960 I wonder if that was a meeting, because I really don't know. 925 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,840 I could have been in an elder's meeting. 926 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,040 I could have been in Sex and Love Addiction Anonymous. 927 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,400 I could have been in a lot of things, you know? 928 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,320 But what I do know is I shared, and I felt better after I got done sharing. 929 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:23,320 I left the Navy. 930 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:24,840 I joined the Pacific group. 931 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,400 I met a lady up there. 932 00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,780 I had a couple of great kids. 933 00:33:28,780 --> 00:33:31,460 We moved out to Temecula. 934 00:33:31,460 --> 00:33:35,340 And that's catching you guys up to what you guys already know, a few of you old timers, 935 00:33:35,340 --> 00:33:36,000 you know? 936 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:40,080 I was out in Temecula for 14 years, and things were going really, really good out there. 937 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:45,380 And I had this, I bought my dad's business eventually, and it really blew it up, and 938 00:33:45,380 --> 00:33:48,240 it made it really, really successful, and the whole family's proud of me. 939 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,240 I bought this big old house. 940 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:51,240 Had the boy toys. 941 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,160 Had a lot of sobriety. 942 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,640 Had two great kids at home. 943 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:58,420 Things are going really, really good on the outside. 944 00:33:58,420 --> 00:34:02,280 And I had my, I called my week from hell, and Uncle Bruce wanted to hear an update on 945 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:03,280 me. 946 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:04,280 This was the update. 947 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,280 You know, my week from hell went like that. 948 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:10,240 The son that I love so much, he got jumped and beaten so badly he needed facial reconstructive 949 00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:11,240 surgery. 950 00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:12,700 They beat him with a bat or a pipe. 951 00:34:12,700 --> 00:34:13,700 He doesn't know what. 952 00:34:13,700 --> 00:34:16,960 He says, I can tell what kind of shoes they were wearing, Dad, because I was on the ground 953 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,400 the whole time, you know? 954 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:19,780 And he almost hemorrhaged out and died. 955 00:34:19,780 --> 00:34:21,700 We had to have a 72-hour watch on him. 956 00:34:21,700 --> 00:34:24,860 You know, and Tuesday I found out that I was going to lose the office building for the 957 00:34:24,860 --> 00:34:25,860 family business. 958 00:34:25,860 --> 00:34:29,200 That's problems of abundance, but it still hurt, you know? 959 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,680 Wednesday I was charged with two felony counts of tax evasion. 960 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:35,080 I found out the hard way that my office manager was stealing all my money. 961 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:39,320 money, and because it exceeded a certain dollar amount, and it was payroll employee taxes, they 962 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:43,500 charged me with two felonies, and I was getting ready to be locked up for a thousand ten days down 963 00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:47,500 at San Diego PD, you know, and it was just like, what's going on here, and then Thursday, I found 964 00:34:47,500 --> 00:34:51,500 out I was going to lose the house we'd been living in for 12 years, because it was 2008 when the 965 00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:55,660 market crashed, you know, and I looked at my wife, and we'd been married 18 and a half years together, 966 00:34:55,780 --> 00:34:59,920 20 years, and I says, how are you doing, and she says, I'm not doing good with all this stuff going 967 00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:03,120 down, and she says, I'm going to guess you're not going to be doing any better, because I just filed 968 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:07,520 for a divorce, you know, that was just one week, and thank God I have the people that I have in my 969 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:12,820 life, you know, I have this buddy named Matt Kimball, great speaker, by the way, Matt Kimball 970 00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:18,920 has got this wicked, dry sense of humor, I'm speaking at a meeting right after this week 971 00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:22,560 happened, I'm crying, everybody's crying with me, there's a thank you line going out the door, 972 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,480 everybody's hugging me, crying with me, and Matt comes through, and he says, Marty, that's a hell 973 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,980 of a week, oh yeah, it is, Matty, and I wiped off a couple tears off my cheek, and he says, I only 974 00:35:30,980 --> 00:35:33,100 got one question for you, Marty, I says, 975 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:41,480 what's that, Matt, he said, what the hell happened Saturday, yeah, you know, thanks, Matt, 976 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,680 you know, but I need that type of humor, because the cool thing about it is, humor gets me back 977 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:50,080 here, right here, right now, and one place we don't do well at, is right here, right now, we'd 978 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:54,320 much rather be angst out about something in the future, or depressed about something in the past, 979 00:35:54,740 --> 00:35:59,420 us alcoholics have a hard time staying right here, right now, and when I laugh, that means I'm right 980 00:35:59,420 --> 00:36:03,140 here with you, that means I forget about how much money I have in my pocket, or how much money I 981 00:36:03,340 --> 00:36:06,640 don't have in my pocket, you know, it makes me forget about if there's gas in the car or not, 982 00:36:07,020 --> 00:36:11,040 and if rent is paid or not, you know, I forget about all that when I get to laugh, 983 00:36:11,820 --> 00:36:16,040 you know, so I'll end with this, and it's just, I rarely know what my solution is, I can barely, 984 00:36:16,140 --> 00:36:20,560 I barely know what your solution is, for sure, you know, but it reminds me of this guy who is 985 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:25,120 an alcoholic, and an Alcoholics Anonymous, and he's a pharmacist, and his pharmacy started doing 986 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,580 pretty good, so he went and hired his first employee, and it was a newcomer out of a meeting, 987 00:36:28,820 --> 00:36:33,200 and the pharmacist walked up to his pharmacy the next day, and he started walking into it, 988 00:36:33,340 --> 00:36:37,680 it's already lit up, people are inside, you know, and he walked, opened up the door, saw some guy 989 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:41,000 just leaning heavily up against the wall, and he acknowledged him, and he walked back to the 990 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,720 pharmacy, and he looked at this newcomer, he says, hey, thanks for opening up, he says, well, sir, 991 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:48,660 you gave me a job, and I was so happy and grateful, I thought I'd come in and open up early, 992 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:53,080 and the pharmacist says, well, that's great, he says, but what's wrong with that guy by the front 993 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:57,220 door that's leaning heavily up against the wall, and the newcomer says, well, sir, he came in for 994 00:36:57,220 --> 00:37:00,760 a cough, and I couldn't get a hold of you, and the pharmacist says, really, so what'd you do, 995 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:04,680 he said, well, I gave him a whole bottle of laxatives, and the pharmacist says, you idiot, 996 00:37:04,780 --> 00:37:09,420 you can't treat a cough with laxatives, and the newcomer says, you want to bet he's afraid to 997 00:37:09,420 --> 00:37:13,800 cough, so I don't know what your solution is, I barely know what mine is, but coming to these 998 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,860 meetings seems to help me a lot, thanks a lot, you guys.