1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,240
 Now I would like to introduce our main speaker, Marty L.

2
00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,480
 Hi, my name is Marty and I'm an alcoholic.

3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,200
 First, I'd like to thank Alex for asking me to come out here.

4
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:14,560
 He asked me a long time ago, but I wasn't quite sure about when I could make it.

5
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:19,440
 I had a knee replacement and didn't know when I'd be able to walk around.

6
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:23,040
 And thank God, today it's great.

7
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,160
 Bionic knee.

8
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:28,480
 I'd like to thank the first 10-minute speakers, Veronica and Nate.

9
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:35,920
 I identified with a lot of what you guys said and I'll just begin with my story.

10
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:43,680
 If I stay sober for another 12 days, I'll have 23 years, February 13th is my sobriety day.

11
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,840
 And I'll tell you, I'm standing in front of you.

12
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:51,760
 I never thought that I would get any sort of time or any sort of sobriety.

13
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,360
 And I know a lot of you have heard it many times,

14
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:59,920
 but I have to say that everything that's good in my life today

15
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:03,920
 is a direct consequence of Alcoholics Anonymous.

16
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,040
 Direct.

17
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:10,560
 As I look back, obviously, we look back at our lives the way that they used to be.

18
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,320
 And it's unbelievable.

19
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:19,920
 And again, I've heard many, many people say that the life that I have today,

20
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:24,000
 I could not diagram for myself years ago.

21
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:29,360
 I just could not because I always thought that I wanted something different, something else.

22
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,360
 I wouldn't say better, but something different.

23
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:36,960
 And today, this is what fits, you know, this is what fits me.

24
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:43,600
 And it's unbelievable where I was, what happened and where I am today is just a miracle.

25
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:44,480
 It really is.

26
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,200
 The program of Alcoholics Anonymous is a miracle.

27
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,440
 And my standing in front of you is a miracle.

28
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:53,120
 The thing that really caught me when I was 12 step,

29
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:58,480
 the thing that really caught me and really was the hook for Alcoholics Anonymous for me was,

30
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,760
 is that there's nothing wrong with me.

31
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:07,360
 It's just that I have a disease called alcoholism because growing up, I was restless,

32
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:13,200
 irritable and discontent the minute I was born, the minute I was born.

33
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:17,040
 You know, my mother says that I was a colicky baby and this and that.

34
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,120
 But I remember my childhood.

35
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,080
 I got to be honest with you, I don't know that I can even call it a childhood, you know,

36
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:27,520
 because I was so busy measuring and weighing stuff in life.

37
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,480
 You know, I have, I'm the oldest of five boys.

38
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:35,040
 And anytime we got something, anytime was dinner time or something special or holiday

39
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:40,000
 time and we got gifts and stuff, I always looked over to see if I got my share.

40
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,040
 I got what was coming to me.

41
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,040
 Why was his piece of cake bigger?

42
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,640
 This is how I spent my entire childhood doing stuff like that.

43
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:54,640
 I mean, I didn't enjoy the moment because I was busy, busy measuring and weighing and

44
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,800
 seeing whatever else everybody else has.

45
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,000
 And I really spent most of my time like that.

46
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:05,520
 And like, I think it was Veronica who said it, but my first higher power was what you

47
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:06,320
 thought of me.

48
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,240
 That was my first higher power.

49
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:14,560
 And I, I sought that every waking minute of my life.

50
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:15,840
 I sought that out.

51
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,520
 I wanted you to like me.

52
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,720
 I wanted you to like me.

53
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,600
 So I had to do this.

54
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,720
 I wanted you to like me.

55
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:21,680
 So I had to do that.

56
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,720
 I wanted you to like me.

57
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,520
 I had to wear this.

58
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:24,720
 I wanted you to like me.

59
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,160
 I had to do something else.

60
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,680
 And it was tiresome.

61
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:28,880
 It was really tiresome.

62
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,880
 Only when I got to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous did I really have a relationship

63
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:33,440
 with Marty.

64
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,240
 I was really the first time and it didn't happen overnight.

65
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,320
 There wasn't just a switch that was turned on.

66
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:44,640
 You know, it took a while to, to develop who I was and to see who I was and see, you know,

67
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,920
 when you take an inventory, you see your pluses and your minuses.

68
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,840
 You see your good stuff and your bad stuff.

69
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:55,920
 And at that point I was able to really put together who I was and I was able to see what

70
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,520
 I wanted in life.

71
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,520
 I always wanted what you wanted me to have.

72
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:00,720
 That's no way to live.

73
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,000
 That's no way to live.

74
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,640
 So growing up, I was a restless, irritable kid and always getting into trouble because

75
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:10,160
 I sought attention, mostly negative attention.

76
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:16,160
 You know, in school I was a class clown and see, I was always very fortunate.

77
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:21,760
 I have a brother who's around 11 months younger than me and he's brilliant and talented.

78
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,000
 He can draw, he can play musical instruments.

79
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,520
 He never had a study for tests.

80
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:30,720
 But the good news was, is that he was one grade behind me and they never wanted us in

81
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:31,680
 the same grade.

82
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,920
 That's the only reason why I was promoted every year because we went to the same school

83
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,680
 and they didn't want us in the same grade.

84
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:44,080
 So I got promoted and I got to tell you, I thought I was a dumb kid, you know, and that's

85
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,120
 how I live my life.

86
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,160
 Like I was a dumb kid.

87
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,280
 I didn't do well on tests because I didn't study.

88
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,920
 I didn't do well in school because I couldn't sit through it.

89
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:57,200
 I used to jump out of windows, you know, as a kid in school and get into all sorts of

90
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:57,600
 trouble.

91
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:02,000
 I spent more time in the hall in the principal's office than I did in the classroom.

92
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:08,080
 So I wasn't really, but I always thought I was dumb and, you know, this is, this is my

93
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,400
 lot in life and this is the way my life is going to be.

94
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,160
 And, you know, I kind of accepted it and I went through life that way.

95
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:18,080
 And you really don't make good decisions with that kind of attitude.

96
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,280
 And what happened was, you know, it's the same thing in high school.

97
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,640
 We went to the same high school.

98
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:27,120
 So I went, I was, you know, graduated or advanced every year, a grade.

99
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,120
 And then I went on to college.

100
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,480
 The thing is, is that my father was an alcoholic.

101
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,520
 My father was an alcoholic, but we didn't know it.

102
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,160
 And I didn't know it was called an alcoholic in those days.

103
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,960
 I didn't just, I didn't know how to express it.

104
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,120
 He would come home from work and he would drink.

105
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:47,360
 And when I finally, when I used to go to work with him, I used to drink before he left work

106
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,480
 at night to come home.

107
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:54,000
 And he always drank and we used to sit together, you know, I'm Jewish.

108
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,160
 And so the Sabbath was important to us.

109
00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,960
 We at the table 15, 20 minutes into the meal, he was passed out already.

110
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:05,280
 You know, he fell asleep in the chicken soup, you know, and that's the way it was.

111
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,720
 But I didn't know any different.

112
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,080
 I didn't know any different until I started having friends over.

113
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:14,640
 I started having friends over and then I would go over to their house and their father wouldn't

114
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:18,720
 pass out, you know, and that's kind of strange, you know, and the police used to come to our

115
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:23,440
 house because my mother and him used to get into these loud, loud fights on Friday nights.

116
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:24,800
 But I thought that was normal.

117
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:25,920
 I didn't know any better.

118
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:31,920
 And unfortunately, unfortunately, I picked up on how to be a good husband from him, you

119
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:36,400
 know, and that was one of my character defects.

120
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,560
 But this is what I saw growing up.

121
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:44,160
 And he was an alcoholic and he used to just always pass out and yell and scream.

122
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,840
 And that's what I saw.

123
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,120
 And that's what I saw growing up.

124
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:51,840
 And I thought that everything in the house was my fault.

125
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:56,800
 They used to fight, you know, at night when we used to go to sleep and I used to be upstairs

126
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,560
 in my bedroom with my brother and they would be yelling at each other and I thought it

127
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:04,080
 was my fault, you know, and that's the way it was.

128
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:10,800
 So my childhood was kind of like, you know, I was robbed, you know, but I can't make up

129
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,240
 any excuses for that.

130
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:16,400
 But this is basically how I went through life, okay, and decided, you know, I went to college

131
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,440
 and then I decided, you know, I want to get out of the house so let's get married.

132
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:25,760
 So I found a woman, I took her hostage and we got married and we had a child and we got

133
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,720
 divorced and I moved out to California.

134
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:33,520
 I was brought up in New York and, you know, but I brought me with me.

135
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,040
 So it was no different out there.

136
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:40,000
 So now I'm single, you know, living in San Francisco and little life is great, you know,

137
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:46,400
 but still I'm doing the same stuff, you know, I'm drinking, I'm drinking like, I had no

138
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:50,160
 problem - the first thing I did when I built my office in San Francisco, you know, they

139
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,520
 give you a building allowance when you lease space.

140
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:58,320
 The first thing I did is build a bar and I made sure that we had enough alcohol in there

141
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:03,440
 and, you know, before I would leave work I would always, you know, take a couple shots

142
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,600
 of bourbon, that was my alcoholic choice and then I would go home.

143
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:12,640
 And on the weekends you didn't see me from Friday, from Friday afternoon till Monday

144
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,240
 morning nobody saw me.

145
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:19,520
 I also did other substances, you know, and that was it, that was my life.

146
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:23,040
 And then I decided, you know, it's about time to get married again, why not?

147
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:28,960
 So I took another hostage, this time I had four children, my drinking really increased.

148
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:36,560
 And, you know, that marriage didn't last, you know, it lasted I think 13 years and that

149
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:37,440
 was about it.

150
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,680
 But, you know, I don't blame either one of my wives, you know, as far as I'm concerned,

151
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:47,440
 you know, I have to take most of the responsibility for the breakups, you know, I never should

152
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:51,520
 be married, I never should have been married then, I mean I didn't have, I didn't have

153
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,920
 anything to bring to a relationship.

154
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:58,400
 I was selfish and self-centered, I had nothing whatsoever to bring to a relationship and

155
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,400
 that was it, you know, can't blame them.

156
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:04,480
 Of course I blamed them for years but that's what it was.

157
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:10,160
 And I knew nothing about Alcoholics Anonymous, never heard about Alcoholics Anonymous, nothing,

158
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:15,760
 never ever saw anything about Alcoholics Anonymous until, you know, many, many years later.

159
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:20,720
 What happened was is that I ran into somebody, his name was Ron Acosta, I don't know if

160
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:21,600
 anybody knows him.

161
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:29,440
 Ron Acosta was a longtime member of the Pacific group and I ran into Ron Acosta in December

162
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:35,680
 1993 and we're walking and talking and he's trying to tell me that maybe Marty, maybe

163
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,280
 you have a problem with alcohol.

164
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:41,440
 And I looked at him and I said, you know, Ron, I don't know what your deal is but, you

165
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,120
 know, I drink, it's not a problem.

166
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:49,280
 I never put calamity and alcohol together but they always went together, you know, they

167
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:50,400
 always went together.

168
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:55,760
 And we used to walk and talk and, you know, he's trying to convince me because he was

169
00:09:55,760 --> 00:10:02,400
 in the ANA program and he was trying to convince me that I was an alcoholic and I resisted.

170
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,240
 I resisted because I don't like labels.

171
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:12,400
 So, we used to walk and used to walk around this baseball field a lot and, you know, he

172
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:18,320
 would tell me, you know, his story about, you know, his life and how he ended up drinking

173
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:23,520
 and his wife left him with two kids and then he remarried and, you know, I started seeing

174
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:24,880
 some of the similarities.

175
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:29,520
 But then he told me, you know, this is about a few months of walking and then he tells

176
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:35,600
 me, he says, Marty, you know, I used to go to meetings and I went to meetings and I used

177
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:41,280
 to go to five meetings a week and we used to, I said he belonged to a Pacific group,

178
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:48,640
 he used to go to moves and to birthday parties and to watches and he was very, very active.

179
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:53,120
 He said that he was extremely active in this group and that, you know, five meetings a

180
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:57,280
 week and all this stuff, you know, I said to him, I said, Ron, I don't know about you

181
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,520
 but it looks like you just don't have a life and he looked up at me.

182
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:07,520
 And at that moment, a little light went on because that conversation took place on the

183
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:14,480
 two yard of the California men's colony up in San Luis Obispo and I was looking at him

184
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,920
 and telling him that he didn't have a life and I did.

185
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:22,800
 And what happened was is that with all my drinking, with all my craziness, because,

186
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:29,040
 you know, obviously drinking is just my solution for my problems.

187
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,680
 It's not really the problem in and of itself.

188
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,040
 The problem is up here.

189
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:37,600
 And what happened was is that I got myself into a little bit of trouble and I ended up

190
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:44,160
 committing a crime and I was sentenced to the California men's colony for seven years.

191
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:50,240
 And you only do half time, so it's not so bad if you get a job.

192
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,640
 And that's where that conversation took place.

193
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,480
 And I'll tell you how God comes into play in everything.

194
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,320
 And I only saw it afterwards.

195
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,160
 I only saw it many years afterwards.

196
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:05,440
 Ron was in prison because he sold the same building to too many people at the same time.

197
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:10,800
 And so he was in prison and he was going to AA at the time when he did that.

198
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:15,520
 And what happened was is that the district attorney gave him a four year deal,

199
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,520
 which means he would only do two years.

200
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,600
 And he went to his sponsor, his all knowing sponsor.

201
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:25,840
 And his sponsor said, don't take the deal, throw yourself at the mercy of the court.

202
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:30,000
 So he threw himself at the mercy of the court and they gave him five years.

203
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:35,440
 Now that may sound funny, but if he would have paroled six months earlier,

204
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,640
 I never would have met him.

205
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,960
 I met him in December, 1993.

206
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,640
 If he would have, if he would have gotten four years, he would have been gone by then.

207
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:44,080
 And I never would have met him.

208
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,240
 And you probably would have a different speaker tonight.

209
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,880
 That's, that's for sure.

210
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:52,880
 Cause nobody's ever told me about AA before that.

211
00:12:52,880 --> 00:13:01,040
 Or nobody's ever told me that my problem is alcohol or alcoholism and not, you know, not my life.

212
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:06,880
 So he was really kind and gentle and he talked me through that.

213
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:14,880
 And finally, when I paroled February 13th, 1997, which is my sobriety date,

214
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:17,840
 I started going to meetings.

215
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,040
 They had meetings in prison, believe it or not.

216
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,520
 You guys look like a very straight group.

217
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,040
 I'm sure nobody here has ever been into county jail or prison.

218
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:31,200
 So, but they had meetings and it was on Wednesday nights.

219
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,680
 It was on Wednesday nights and they used to have it in the mess hall.

220
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,760
 And they had HNI people came in.

221
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:41,040
 You know, the panels came in, happened to be one of the women who was a free person,

222
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,240
 as we call them was, she worked in the dental office.

223
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:48,480
 She was an alcoholics anonymous and we had two other people that used to come in.

224
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,040
 I forgot the guy's name, but he was, they were great.

225
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,480
 And I ran into them.

226
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:56,160
 I made sure I saw them after I got out.

227
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,040
 And they used to have panels that came in every Wednesday night.

228
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,360
 And you know, I'm too hip slick and cool.

229
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,080
 I'm in the back of the room, you know, making fun of them.

230
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,040
 They going home to a nice hot meal and a nice warm bed.

231
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,600
 And I'm sitting there making fun of them, you know, in the back.

232
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,240
 Cause I'm smart, you know, this program's not for me.

233
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:16,000
 It's, you know, I don't want to be lame like you, but that's what happened in the beginning.

234
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,520
 I would just sit there and I would, you know, you know, you know, let go, let God, I would

235
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:24,720
 sit down and I would make fun of them in the back of the room and tells you how smart I am.

236
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,560
 And then about six months later, they had elections for the group.

237
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:34,400
 And I ran for secretary of our prison AA group and I, and I didn't get it.

238
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,760
 That was my first resentment in AA.

239
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,800
 Could you imagine that they didn't, didn't elect me?

240
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,480
 Don't they know who I am?

241
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:49,040
 I'll tell you, I'll tell you the truth is that what goes on in here, I don't know about

242
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:53,200
 you guys, but what goes on in here is unbelievable.

243
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,000
 It's just unbelievable.

244
00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:02,720
 And thank God, thank God, not like Spock from Star Trek, that you can't do that.

245
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:07,760
 And, you know, and he can transmit or, you know, the information from your head into

246
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,240
 his or something, you know, thank God.

247
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:15,360
 And, you know, it's just that this is connected to this, but there's a filter somewhere in

248
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:20,800
 between because just the stuff that goes on in my head, it's unbelievable.

249
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:26,640
 And one day, hopefully, I hope they don't have it where you can project on a screen

250
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,960
 the stuff that's going on in your head.

251
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,040
 You know, it's, that would be spooky.

252
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,240
 That would be spooky.

253
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:40,240
 So, so now I'm, you know, now I'm believing in AA, I get out and Ron is my sponsor and

254
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,160
 I start to go to meetings.

255
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,960
 Now to me, it's still a lame program.

256
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:50,000
 You know, I'm hip slick and cool living in a one room, not a one bedroom, but a one room

257
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,600
 where I didn't even have a kitchen.

258
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:55,440
 I had to wash the dishes in the sink in the bathroom of anything I ate.

259
00:15:56,160 --> 00:16:03,280
 And that's, that's where I'm living, trying to find a job, you know, and it wasn't, it

260
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:07,120
 wasn't so easy, but I decided I'm going to give this ANA thing a try.

261
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:11,760
 So he would say, listen, Marty, I'm picking you up on the Northwest corner of Wilshire

262
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,560
 and La Brea, be there at 550.

263
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:19,200
 And he lost me because coming from New York, you don't know where Northwest anything is,

264
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:24,000
 you know, just pick me up in front of the toy store, the drug store, you know, that

265
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:24,560
 we know.

266
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:28,960
 But so I remember the first night, I think it was the first night or a couple of nights

267
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:33,520
 into it, you know, I was on the wrong corner and he just took off and went to the meeting

268
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,200
 and said, I told you to be on that corner.

269
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,480
 You'd be on that corner.

270
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,160
 I tell you, you call me at seven in the morning.

271
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,840
 You call me at seven in the morning.

272
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,920
 And, you know, for me to take direction was, you know, was not easy.

273
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:48,080
 That wasn't something I was used to, you know, because the self will run riot with me and

274
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,120
 slowly but surely he started taking me to meetings.

275
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:55,600
 We went to the Wednesday night Pacific group meeting, which was a little bit, you know,

276
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,080
 intimidating the first couple of times I went.

277
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,280
 But I'll tell you one thing.

278
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,080
 I'll tell you one thing.

279
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:05,360
 In February 1997, when I went to the Pacific group, I could tell you exactly what shoes

280
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,160
 you were wearing.

281
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,440
 I couldn't look you in the eye, but I knew what shoes you were wearing because I would

282
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,440
 walk around like this and shake your hand.

283
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,160
 I was just, I didn't want you to get to know me.

284
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:14,640
 Okay.

285
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,360
 Because I didn't feel good inside.

286
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:18,960
 I just didn't feel good inside.

287
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:23,440
 And getting into those meetings and he says, you got to walk around and shake hands, just

288
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,440
 tell people your name and shake hands.

289
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,480
 And I didn't want to do that because I'm afraid of people.

290
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,520
 I don't like people.

291
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:35,520
 Even today, I don't like people and I'm in sales and it's not easy.

292
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:41,200
 But I started doing it and I used to see these little clicks, you know, three, four people

293
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:45,120
 talking and having a good time and their hands are up in the air and they're talking about

294
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,920
 sports or a movie or dinner or whatever it is.

295
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,480
 You know, and I, and I envied that.

296
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,800
 I knew I couldn't do it, but I envied that.

297
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:53,920
 I envied that.

298
00:17:53,920 --> 00:18:00,000
 And I started going and I started going over slowly and I would put my hand out, you know,

299
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,280
 and I was just hoping they wouldn't say, Hey buddy, what do you want?

300
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,160
 But they're always all welcoming, all welcoming.

301
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,600
 Nobody ever pushed me away.

302
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,160
 Nobody ever said, this isn't your conversation.

303
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:15,040
 You know, you know, we used to say on the two yard, you know, don't burglarize my conversation,

304
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,080
 shake the spot.

305
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:23,840
 And, but they didn't, everybody welcomed me in and I started to become more open and more

306
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:24,960
 open and more willing.

307
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:32,240
 And I started to get in those little clicks myself, you know, and I used to have conversations

308
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:37,360
 about sports and dinner and movies and whatever we're doing and whatever it is.

309
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,560
 Then after a while, guess what this head told me?

310
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:44,800
 This head told me, these little conversations are kind of silly.

311
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,920
 You know, I'm really not interested in what you got to say.

312
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:52,640
 That's where I went from not being good enough to like, I'm too good for you people.

313
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:53,600
 That's where I went.

314
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:59,680
 And that's why I need Alcoholics Anonymous because living life is somewhere in the middle.

315
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,080
 Okay.

316
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:04,800
 Living life is somewhere in the middle and AA has always kept me straight.

317
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,320
 So we started going through the book.

318
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,160
 I started going through the steps.

319
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,120
 I went to like four or five meetings a week.

320
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,880
 I didn't go to all the stuff that he did, the watches and whatever.

321
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,800
 I went to some of them, but nonetheless, I started getting active in the program.

322
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:23,760
 The thing that kept me active in the program at first was not the program itself, but the

323
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:24,400
 fellowship.

324
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:30,240
 I really, really craved the fellowship, you know, seeing the same people.

325
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:34,960
 And I see the same people for almost 23 years, the same people.

326
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,000
 We have a class, we have a class banquet.

327
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,680
 So I'm the class of 97 and every year we have a banquet.

328
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:45,280
 I see the same people that I know for almost 23 years.

329
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,320
 That's amazing friendships for 23 years.

330
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,160
 You know, it's just unfathomable for me.

331
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,000
 And these are the same people.

332
00:19:54,000 --> 00:20:00,240
 And you go to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and even, you know, I mean this meeting as

333
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,360
 well, I don't see any guns to people's heads here.

334
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:09,040
 I don't see anybody being here forcibly, you know, everybody comes into the room of AA

335
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,160
 because they want to live a better life.

336
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:16,320
 They want to get a better life, you know, and even when we think we have the best life,

337
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:20,800
 we still come to meetings because we know we don't, you know, and that's the thing about

338
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,840
 Alcoholics Anonymous.

339
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,680
 And you look around the room, I mean, you say that, you know, we just wouldn't mix.

340
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,600
 We just wouldn't mix.

341
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:28,800
 I don't wear a suit ever.

342
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,480
 So don't think that.

343
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:30,800
 Okay.

344
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,560
 But the thing is, is that we're all here for one thing.

345
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:39,200
 We're all here to get, you know, to make, to get ourselves better or to make ourselves

346
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:39,600
 better.

347
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:44,320
 And that's the beauty of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is that we're here with a common

348
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,320
 cause and we have everything else in our lives.

349
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:50,880
 We have, we have good times, we have bad times, we have losses.

350
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:57,680
 We just had, you know, the Pacific group, there was a long, long time member.

351
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:04,960
 She had 50 years sobriety, Millie G, Millie G, Millie Greenberg, 50 years of sobriety.

352
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:12,080
 She, she would have been 97 on Tuesday and she passed away Thursday night.

353
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:20,000
 And, but 50 years we sat, Millie and I sat at the Wednesday night meeting, I don't know,

354
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,480
 15, 20 years together because I would help her go to the back because she took care of

355
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,360
 coffee or whatever.

356
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:30,640
 But for 15, 20 years to sit with this woman and she was fantastic.

357
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,480
 She was this little old lady.

358
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,840
 She always dressed well, always dressed well.

359
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,520
 And you looked at her and you thought that she was just a pushover, but you said something.

360
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:44,240
 If I used to say things to her and I'm a little bit sarcastic sometimes and she would just

361
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,040
 check me.

362
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,880
 She would just check me on it.

363
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,480
 But she was, she was terrific.

364
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,280
 She sponsored, I don't know, a hundred people.

365
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,400
 She was just great.

366
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:57,280
 She really was and it was, it's just a tremendous loss and hopefully the next couple of weeks

367
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,800
 we'll have a memorial service.

368
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:03,840
 And you'll see, she's going to have three to 400 people at her memorial.

369
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:08,160
 And her, her nephew was at the house the day before she passed away.

370
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,360
 I was there as well.

371
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:13,280
 And I told him that we're going to probably have a memorial service and there's going

372
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,960
 to be three to 400 people there.

373
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,400
 He's not, he's not one of us.

374
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,920
 And his mouth just dropped open.

375
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,840
 That's what happens.

376
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,200
 People get sick, everybody rushes to their side.

377
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,040
 They bring food over, what can you do?

378
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,160
 Somebody gets injured, they bring food over, what can you do?

379
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:29,360
 How can I help you out?

380
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:32,080
 That's what we do here in Alcoholics Anonymous.

381
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,440
 We rally around each other because we need each other.

382
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,280
 We need each other because this is not a me program, but it's a we program.

383
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,160
 And that's the way it is.

384
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,000
 And that's why I love going to meetings.

385
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,480
 When I go to meetings, I just have a sigh of relief.

386
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,120
 I could sit there and I can say the silliest things, you know?

387
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:51,840
 And in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, a guy gets up and he says he was in prison and people

388
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:52,240
 laugh.

389
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:56,160
 A guy gets, somebody says he's pulled out a gun and they all ran away.

390
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,320
 And the whole room breaks out in laughter.

391
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,480
 Try that at a PTA meeting, you know?

392
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,560
 But that's the way it is here.

393
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,320
 That's the way we are.

394
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,680
 That's the music.

395
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,240
 That's the music here in Alcoholics Anonymous.

396
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,080
 And that's what I found here.

397
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:16,560
 I found here that no matter how little I think of myself or how odd I think I am, when I

398
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,480
 come into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, I feel right-sized.

399
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,720
 I feel okay.

400
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,480
 I feel good enough.

401
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:25,680
 I feel good enough.

402
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:31,600
 And hopefully I keep on going to enough meetings a week and enough meetings every year.

403
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:37,520
 And when I take, when I go out into the general public, I can feel good enough too because

404
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:38,000
 of that.

405
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,800
 I take what I learn from these rooms and I practice it outside.

406
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,640
 I practice kindness.

407
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:48,000
 Well, not always, have a little bit of road rage.

408
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:57,520
 But other than that, my life has turned a complete 180 degrees from a selfish individual

409
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,840
 to somebody who puts other people first.

410
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:06,000
 Now, I'm not saying that I don't like, you know, stuff or whatever, you know, but I put

411
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000
 other people first where I never did that.

412
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:12,560
 I remember my oldest boy who is, who's 45.

413
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:17,200
 Believe it or not, my oldest boy is 45 and he's a cardiologist.

414
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:22,720
 When he was a kid and I was divorced and I was hip slick and cool, I have pictures of

415
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:22,960
 it.

416
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,520
 I would tell his mother that I'm coming by to pick him up.

417
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,680
 Maybe 50% of the time I'd show up.

418
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,520
 Maybe 50% of the time.

419
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,320
 I don't know if anybody else in this room can identify.

420
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,920
 50% of the time and she used to tell me he would sit by the window for you.

421
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:41,200
 And today that breaks my heart even, even though we have a fantastic relationship, you

422
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:46,640
 know, and he has three beautiful girls, you know, with his wife and, and I, they live

423
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:50,560
 in New York and I go there often and it's just unbelievable.

424
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:56,720
 It's just unbelievable how selfish I was then because alcohol and my needs to feel good

425
00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:01,920
 and to have a good time came before everything and anything else in my life.

426
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,880
 That's what, that's what ran my life.

427
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,160
 Feeling good, having fun and checking out.

428
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:12,960
 And that's what I did for most of my life, even though I was a functioning alcoholic,

429
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,480
 I went to work, but nonetheless, that's how I behaved.

430
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:22,000
 Even at work, when I moved to, when I moved to Los Angeles again, you know, I moved into

431
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:22,400
 a building.

432
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:23,920
 I used to be in the diamond business.

433
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,960
 That's the trouble I got into diamond embezzlement.

434
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:32,560
 They also gave us, you know, we built an office and I wanted to make some changes and they

435
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:33,840
 wanted to charge me.

436
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:40,400
 And in those days, back in, let's see, what was it, 1987, the means of communication was

437
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:41,200
 fax machine.

438
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:45,600
 As that first came out, the fax machine, I think 86, it was popular or whatever it was,

439
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,280
 87, we had fax machines.

440
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,520
 So your fax orders back and forth.

441
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:53,360
 And I remember, you know, they sent me this form.

442
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:57,600
 They said you should sign it because we're charging you an extra $10,000 because you

443
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,200
 want to make those changes.

444
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,600
 So I didn't have any real people skills.

445
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,360
 So I wrote F U on it.

446
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:06,560
 I spelled it out and, and I faxed it back to them.

447
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,720
 That's my means of negotiations.

448
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:16,800
 So, you know, I think that, I think that Alcoholics Anonymous for me has really been, I mean,

449
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:22,080
 I realized, like I said, you know, in the beginning, I realized that I'm not sick and

450
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:22,480
 broken.

451
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,600
 I'm, I just have the disease of alcoholism.

452
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:30,480
 And as long as I work the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and that doesn't mean just coming

453
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:31,040
 to meetings.

454
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:36,320
 That means coming to meetings, that means, you know, working the book, working the steps,

455
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:41,440
 dealing, meeting with others, you know, sponsoring people.

456
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,720
 I have a sponsor.

457
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:43,600
 I have a sponsor.

458
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:48,240
 His name is Joe E and he's been my sponsor for the last 21 and a half years.

459
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:54,400
 And, you know, when I get into, when it gives me direction and I don't like it, I don't

460
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,920
 go find another sponsor.

461
00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:01,360
 I know a lot of people, you know, you hang around to these rooms for a number of years

462
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:02,640
 and you see stuff like that.

463
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,120
 You know, oh, you know, so-and-so told me to do this.

464
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:06,480
 I'm going to get a new sponsor.

465
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,120
 You know, I, you just got to chuckle.

466
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:11,280
 You just got to chuckle with that stuff.

467
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:15,920
 And because of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, just flip it on.

468
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,360
 Everybody's complaining they're hot and everybody wants to leave.

469
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:20,240
 Maybe it's my talk.

470
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:24,320
 Because of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I don't do those things today.

471
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:25,760
 I just, I don't.

472
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:30,880
 Possibly didn't do a great job of summarizing my life.

473
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:35,280
 But basically, I was restless, irritable, discontent.

474
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,960
 Didn't make any good decisions.

475
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,280
 Made very, very poor decisions.

476
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:40,960
 Was selfish and self-centered.

477
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,440
 Only did what made me feel good.

478
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:48,000
 If made you feel good at the same time, that's fine.

479
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,280
 But primarily I did it for my own gratification.

480
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:57,680
 And then I went to, I found Alcoholics Anonymous by a fluke.

481
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:04,160
 And the reason why I ended up in prison was because all those little knocks that God gave

482
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,840
 me, I just didn't pay attention to.

483
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,480
 He said, listen, buddy, you need more help than I can do.

484
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,720
 So he sent me in there.

485
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:17,680
 And, you know, you can come out unscathed, you know, from prison.

486
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,000
 In fact, it was a blessing for me.

487
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:25,360
 I look at it as the pause that refreshes and that's what those three and a half years were

488
00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:25,860
 for me.

489
00:28:25,860 --> 00:28:31,200
 I go to county jail now with panels.

490
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:36,880
 I go to, you know, halfway houses with panels, recovery homes, you know.

491
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:43,200
 And I like to tell my story that you don't have to live a life of crime, you know.

492
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:47,920
 And because of that, and I'm just grateful for the people in Alcoholics Anonymous and

493
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:49,760
 grateful for the people that came before me.

494
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:55,920
 You know, my sponsor and the groups that I belong to, the people that I associate with,

495
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,040
 you know, I have a completely different life today.

496
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:06,960
 I live in Sherman Oaks and I have a nice little house, have a dog and great job, you know.

497
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:12,720
 And not that that stuff is important, but it certainly, you know, helps along the way.

498
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,040
 And that's only because I took direction.

499
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,360
 When I first came out of prison, I didn't have a job.

500
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,680
 My sponsor said, just get a job, any job.

501
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,800
 I said, but you know, I used to be in the diamond business, just get a job.

502
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,920
 And I ended up having working in a print shop, you know, and I didn't do too well over there.

503
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:29,840
 I think it was $8 an hour.

504
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,960
 And just slowly but surely things changed around.

505
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:37,840
 He said, just keep the job, look for another job, keep the job, look for another job.

506
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:38,800
 And that's all I did.

507
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,800
 I kept the job, look for another job.

508
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:46,000
 And slowly but surely in 2001, you know, I want to say I caught a break.

509
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:51,520
 But what happened was is that somebody offered me an opportunity to work for them.

510
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:56,560
 And just my, since 2001, my whole, my entire life just turned around.

511
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,000
 Just totally turned around.

512
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,600
 It was a blessing in disguise.

513
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,200
 It's not in the jewelry business.

514
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,560
 It's not in the diamond business.

515
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:03,920
 It's in the healthcare business.

516
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,400
 And never been better.

517
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:10,720
 Never been, who would have thought that I'd, you know, that I'd be in this business, you

518
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:15,920
 know, 30 years ago because all I wanted to do is, you know, being in the jewelry business.

519
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,760
 I don't see any lights on here.

520
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:18,320
 There we go.

521
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:19,440
 Okay.

522
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:20,400
 I was a little worried there.

523
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,960
 Thought maybe they were broken, you know, couldn't see them.

524
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,800
 Anyway, I'm going to end early.

525
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,720
 You know, there's no sense in prolonging it, but I want to say thank you again.

526
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:34,320
 And I want to say that I owe my life to people like you in rooms like this in Alcoholics

527
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:34,800
 Anonymous.

528
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:35,280
 Thank you.