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 Now I would like to introduce our main speaker, David.

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 >> Good evening.

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 My name is David.

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 I'm an alcoholic.

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 First of all, I want to thank Alex for asking me to come

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 out and share with you tonight.

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 It's an honor and privilege for me to share in my own sobriety

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 and participate in any AA activity.

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 It's amazing.

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 It's amazing, this program.

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 If you're new here tonight, I want to welcome you

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 to Alcoholics Anonymous.

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 And I hope you find what I've been able to find here,

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 which is a different way of life, you know.

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 And a lot of new friends, people that I now call my family,

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 that I know that I can rely on, because we're here

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 to support one another, and we do that.

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 And it's in our actions that you get to experience that

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 and feel the love and see the love,

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 because it's happening around you.

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 I was a member of this group, the predecessor group,

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 Life's in Session, and that's where we all got started,

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 you know, Life's in Session.

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 That's where it all got started, at Life's in Session.

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 And I got to see people come in and grow up,

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 and their families grow up.

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 Like Alex, he was a baby when his dad was coming around,

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 and other people had, you know, their children around.

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 And we all grew up together in this program,

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 in this fellowship, in this group.

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 And so if you're new here tonight,

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 and you don't hear anything else, what I did was, you know,

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 I got a home group, Life's in Session.

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 I got a sponsor, and I was willing,

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 and I followed direction, sometimes suggestion,

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 and not always willing to do it, but I did it.

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 Built a relationship with a higher power,

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 who I choose to call God, and got a friend,

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 somebody that came from my same neighborhood in New York City

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 that I didn't even know before coming to Life's in Session.

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 We lived in the same neighborhood in New York,

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 and I never would have known it.

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 But I met him here at a Saturday night meeting,

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 and, you know, he was attracted to my wife.

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 She was his fatal attraction,

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 and I wasn't in the fellowship yet,

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 but I was, she was coming to meetings here

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 at Life's in Session on Saturday night,

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 and getting a little bit, getting dressed up

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 a little bit prettier every year, you know,

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 and every week, you know, and looking nice, you know,

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 and smelling fresh, you know, and I was like,

53
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 I need to go down to this meeting here

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 and check this thing out,

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 and see why she's getting all gussied up, you know,

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 find out what's happening, who's looking at my wife,

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 you know, and so, lo and behold, you know,

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 there's this character from New York,

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 he's saying he's from East Harlem, Spanish Harlem.

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 He said, "Really, so am I."

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 Yeah, yeah, it's from the same neighborhood, wow.

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 So we got to reminisce on some of our old neighborhood,

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 you know, landmarks, the different churches,

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 and different parks and things,

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 and different things about New York

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 that makes it so special, you know,

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 and so that started a friendship that, to this day,

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 you know, Tom is like a brother to me.

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 You know, we call each other every day.

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 Every other day, you know, four or five times a week,

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 we're on the phone with one another, complaining.

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 Initially it was complaining.

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 When he lived in the valley here, we would go to,

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 after the meeting, we'd go to McDonald's

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 and complain about our wives,

76
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 and complain about our sponsors,

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 complain about people in the meeting,

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 you know, complain about Avery, you know,

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 and don't worry, it gets better, it gets better,

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 and built that foundation of a friendship

81
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 that's like a brother, like none other, and similarly,

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 I could say that about a bunch of other people here,

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 you know, like Bruce.

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 Bruce is, you know, like a brother to me.

85
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 He's been able to be there for me, and other people, Eddie.

86
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 I mean, I can go on and on,

87
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 just kind of like name people off, you know,

88
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 and I don't want to do it

89
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 because I don't want to miss anybody and say,

90
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 "Oh, well, you need to talk about me."

91
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 What about me, you know?

92
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 So I'll get a text message when I get back to the car,

93
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 you know, "What about me?"

94
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 Sorry, man, hey, man, I can't talk about everybody.

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 But anyway, but that's not what it's about.

96
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 That's not what it's about.

97
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 What it's about is keeping this fellowship going, you know,

98
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 and keeping us supporting one another,

99
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 because like it talks about in the big book,

100
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 you know, we're in a special class,

101
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 we're in a certain class, you know,

102
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 and, you know, no other alcoholic, no other person,

103
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 but alcoholics know who we are and how we are.

104
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 And it takes that special person

105
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 that we all share one thing in common, you know,

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 it may be something tiny and minuscule,

107
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 or maybe even larger in your case,

108
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 we all share this one common thing,

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 and that's this feeling of loneliness, you know,

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 and sometimes it could be varying,

111
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 it could be greater than others at times in your life,

112
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 but that's one thing that consistently has been common

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 in my life is this feeling of loneliness.

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 And I found when I come to meetings,

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 I get that loneliness filled up with love and care

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 and support like Robin talked about, you know,

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 this group, Kwaath, is still carrying that forward,

118
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 that love and care for one another on the moves

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 and the watches and the parties.

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 And it's great to see that, seeing that to continue,

121
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 you know, and I feel very much a part of this group

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 as if it was life's in session because I have a lot,

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 still have a lot of friends here,

124
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 people that I know I can call on,

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 people that I know that I can rely on and women too,

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 you know, and you'll be there, you will be there.

127
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 So with that being said, Alex already advised me

128
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 that dang, I have to cut my time short tonight.

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 Just a few minutes, don't worry, don't be alarmed.

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 But he did tell me you got some other stuff

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 you gotta take care of, some business you gotta handle here.

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 So, you know, I'ma respect that, you know, absolutely.

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 You don't have to invite me back out, you know,

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 so I can finish the rest of my story.

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 (laughing)

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 But sticking with the format,

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 my sobriety date is March the 5th of 1988.

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 So I've been sober 32 years and it's by the grace of God,

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 the fellowship of alcoholics and meetings like this,

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 friends like this and sponsors that I've been able

141
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 to put these days and weeks and months and years

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 and decades together to have this life that I have today,

143
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 you know, and I too was born and raised in New York City

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 where there's a lot of crime and violence

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 and substance abuse and alcoholism

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 and that's just in my family alone.

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 But I learned to drink at an early age.

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 There's parties or baptisms or weddings or divorces

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 or something going on in my house that we had a party,

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 you know, and I learned to drink, you know, 14 and 15.

151
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 Now I didn't go out and become a daily drinker,

152
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 but I drank regularly.

153
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 I drank, you know, on a regular basis,

154
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 hanging out with the friends, playing games,

155
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 playing sports or whatever, you know, we'll have beer,

156
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 you know, whatever on Saturday or whatever.

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 And so I learned to drink at an early age

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 and I believe my father was an alcoholic

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 and he drank on a daily basis and for the longest,

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 I said, I don't want to be like him.

161
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 I don't want to grow up to be like him, you know,

162
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 and I have four older brothers and sisters.

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 My sisters were having kids at an early age

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 when it wasn't cool to have kids at 17 and 16 and a half,

165
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 you know, and they were dropping out of school

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 and my brother went away to fight a war in Vietnam

167
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 and he came back with a hundred dollar day heroin habit

168
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 and I didn't want to be like him.

169
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 He went off, you know, he was a Marine

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 and he went off to Vietnam, big strong man.

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 He was six foot two, could kill somebody in 15 seconds,

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 could kill another man, you know,

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 'cause that's how they trained him to do.

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 And when he came back with that heroin habit,

175
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 he was somebody that I did not certainly look up to

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 and that I did not aspire to be

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 because he was terrorizing the neighborhood,

178
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 robbing our neighbors, you know,

179
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 sticking up the local stores, the bodegas.

180
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 It's a little, it's like 7-Eleven,

181
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 but in New York we call them bodegas, you know.

182
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 I didn't even think 7-Eleven was around then, you know,

183
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 but our version of 7-Eleven.

184
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 And so I didn't want to be like him.

185
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 And so my best friend in high school I used to drink with,

186
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 you know, they say the more you come to meetings,

187
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 you know, the more, you know, more will be revealed.

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 And, you know, people say, well come up and they'll say,

189
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 "Oh, well I was a daily drinker, you know,

190
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 and I started drinking, you know, in the morning."

191
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 You know, I'm like, I don't remember drinking in the morning.

192
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 You know, I was a, you know, I was a night drinker,

193
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 you know, like, but then I remembered

194
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 that my friend and I used to buy these little pints

195
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 or half pints of Blackberry Brandy on Subway

196
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 'cause in the wintertime it's cold in New York

197
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 and you get on the subway and, you know,

198
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 we take the subway to school

199
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 and we used to drink these little half pints

200
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 of Blackberry Brandy.

201
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:56,340
 So, you know, I was a morning drinker, you know,

202
00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:59,380
 and I didn't realize that until after I had come to,

203
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:01,780
 you know, some meetings after a couple of years, you know.

204
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 And that friend of mine, that was my high school friend,

205
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 his name was Jesus Jesus.

206
00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:09,020
 And he started messing around with drugs

207
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 and skin popping and he OD'd, you know.

208
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 And I was devastated 'cause that was my,

209
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 as you guys call it, road dog, you know.

210
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 And, you know, that was my first real true loss

211
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 that I really felt at a early age.

212
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 And I'm like, damn, you know.

213
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,980
 And so I went on and was given an opportunity

214
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 to go to college and I wanted to be different

215
00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:36,100
 than my brothers and sisters.

216
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 And so I got an opportunity to go the way to college.

217
00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:40,860
 And so I went to a little small business college

218
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:44,300
 up in Maine, the state of Maine.

219
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,900
 I had been there before on like a camping trip or something,

220
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:50,060
 but, you know, it was far, far away from New York City

221
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 and snowed there, snowed a lot.

222
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,340
 So for four years, I became a maniac and learned

223
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:57,540
 to drink a lot of beer, a lot of beer.

224
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 I mean, a lot, a lot of beer.

225
00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:00,620
 I mean, they used to drink it by the kegs, you know.

226
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:04,340
 And I joined the fraternity because I heard

227
00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:06,580
 they had the answers to all the tests

228
00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:09,380
 and a lot of book reports.

229
00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,500
 They had a file cabinet full of like old book reports

230
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 and stuff like that.

231
00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:14,940
 And so I joined this fraternity, you know.

232
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 And, you know, I was playing basketball and things.

233
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,420
 I played on their teams and stuff.

234
00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:20,380
 And so they let me in their fraternity.

235
00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:22,620
 And so I said, hey, I need some exposure to some of these

236
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:26,460
 exams and things, you know, and these reports and stuff.

237
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:27,980
 And so, oh, just get it out the cabinet,

238
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 just get what you need.

239
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 I said, oh, okay, cool.

240
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,220
 So the professor would get it, just like, hmm,

241
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:34,660
 this looks very, sounds very familiar.

242
00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:35,660
 Did you do this report?

243
00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,420
 I said, oh yeah, yeah, I stayed up all night

244
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:40,460
 working on this, you know, copying it, you know.

245
00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:43,420
 And so I lied and cheated my way through college.

246
00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:47,260
 And at the end of four years, they gave me a degree.

247
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,860
 So I went back home to that Spanish Harlem neighborhood

248
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:52,380
 in New York City and pounding on my chest.

249
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:53,940
 Yeah, I'm a college graduate.

250
00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:56,140
 That's right, I got my sheepskin, you know.

251
00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:59,740
 And so I was a big man in the projects, you know,

252
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:01,780
 the big man on campus, you know,

253
00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:03,260
 a big man in the neighborhood, you know.

254
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:06,300
 And so, but I didn't do anything for a few months.

255
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,700
 You know, I laid on my parents' couch.

256
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,940
 You just kind of, ah, I'm tired.

257
00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:12,140
 It was a rough, rough semester.

258
00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:13,220
 I need, I need to chill out.

259
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,940
 You know, I did a lot of copying, you know.

260
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:19,940
 And so I need a couple of months off.

261
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:26,500
 And so I went back to the old neighborhood,

262
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,060
 started doing with the things that I was doing

263
00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:30,380
 before I left, drinking and hanging out with the fellas,

264
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:33,180
 you know, and playing ball and stuff.

265
00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:36,220
 And, you know, my drinking progressed

266
00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:40,020
 and it wasn't till I realized that, you know,

267
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:43,700
 that I really needed to drink that I decided that,

268
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:45,940
 you know, maybe I need to make a change.

269
00:11:45,940 --> 00:11:48,580
 This girl I had dated in college, her parents had,

270
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:52,980
 her dad had got transferred to, to,

271
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:55,580
 with his company to, to Huntington Beach

272
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:57,260
 down in Orange County.

273
00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:59,980
 And they invited me out to come check it out, you know,

274
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:03,620
 and it was a belong furthest west that I've been ever,

275
00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:05,740
 you know, and so I came to California

276
00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:07,060
 and was living down in Orange County

277
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,860
 and we set up housekeeping.

278
00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:10,980
 Well, her dad said, you know, you cannot,

279
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,260
 she cannot move in with you until she's engaged or married.

280
00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:16,020
 I said, oh, okay, no problem, you know, sorry.

281
00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:18,220
 So I was working at the small little airspace company

282
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:22,860
 in Los Alamitos and so pulled a couple of overtime shifts

283
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:24,580
 so that I can, you know, buy this ring

284
00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:26,420
 so this girl can come live with me, you know,

285
00:12:26,420 --> 00:12:31,420
 and so she, I raised up enough money to buy a little ring

286
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:36,580
 and we got engaged and she moved in with me

287
00:12:36,580 --> 00:12:38,340
 and after a couple of months,

288
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,820
 she told me that I drink a lot like her father

289
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:42,460
 and that he was an alcoholic

290
00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:44,660
 and she didn't want to be married to an alcoholic.

291
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:48,820
 So she moved back home and of course I was devastated

292
00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:51,180
 and at the time I didn't think about it, but I'm like,

293
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:53,180
 I should have got that ring back, you know.

294
00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:55,340
 I think it's probably worth some money, you understand?

295
00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:59,300
 But I didn't and I had a sister that lived out here

296
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:03,780
 in the Valley and I came and set up housekeeping with her.

297
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:06,060
 She said, hey, look, you know,

298
00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:08,540
 get a job as a big aerospace company in Burbank,

299
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:09,780
 you know, they probably could hire you

300
00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,100
 and blah, blah, blah, blah, you know,

301
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,700
 and, you know, come stay with me and, you know,

302
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,660
 you just paid a rent and I'll take care of everything else.

303
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,100
 I'll cook, I'll clean, I'll do your shirts,

304
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:16,940
 I'll do everything.

305
00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:17,900
 Oh, okay, cool.

306
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:20,540
 Sounded like a ready-made, you know, situation, you know.

307
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:21,980
 Sounded like a good deal to me.

308
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:23,460
 So took care of that.

309
00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:25,660
 I got this job at this aerospace company in Burbank.

310
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:29,020
 They were building these commercial airliners, L-1011s

311
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:31,140
 and they were hiring a lot of people

312
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:34,900
 and I got a job there and started making great money

313
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,580
 and bought this new car with T-tops.

314
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:40,980
 You know, you kind of, not convertible, it's a T-top.

315
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:42,260
 We take the top off, you know,

316
00:13:42,260 --> 00:13:44,740
 and kind of put it in the back or in the trunk, you know,

317
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,140
 and so I was cruising around town, you know,

318
00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:49,100
 thinking I'm Dan Tana, you know.

319
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,420
 Oh, am I dating myself?

320
00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:52,860
 I'm sorry, oh wow, okay.

321
00:13:52,860 --> 00:13:55,460
 Let me see, Miami Vice, how about Miami Vice?

322
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,260
 Anybody related to Miami Vice?

323
00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:58,820
 Tubbs, they call me Tubbs.

324
00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:03,660
 Anyway, so I started partying, you know,

325
00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:04,900
 partying on the weekends, you know,

326
00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:07,380
 Fridays and Saturday nights and Thursday nights

327
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,700
 and Wednesday nights is ladies nights

328
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,340
 'cause a lot of people don't go out on Wednesday night,

329
00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:13,340
 but hey, ladies night, I'm a ladies man.

330
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:14,940
 So I got to go out on ladies night.

331
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:17,420
 So I started going out on Wednesday nights too.

332
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,660
 So Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

333
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:22,180
 and try to recover on Sunday, you know,

334
00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:24,180
 and get up and go to work on Monday, you know.

335
00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:27,420
 And so this job was kind of interfering with my partying,

336
00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:29,820
 you know, so, but I knew it was my source of income,

337
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:32,580
 you know, so, you know, I did the best I could

338
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:36,140
 and after a while I got old real quick, you know,

339
00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:37,980
 going to the clubs, going to parties, you know,

340
00:14:37,980 --> 00:14:40,540
 going to, you know, these discos and things.

341
00:14:40,540 --> 00:14:44,820
 And I had dated a girl back in New York before I left

342
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:47,340
 and at one time I went on my trips back to New York

343
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:51,100
 'cause I used to buy my clothes in the fall in New York

344
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,660
 'cause it'd still be summertime out here.

345
00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:55,740
 So, you know, in New York, they'll have the fall sales,

346
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:57,100
 you know, 'cause they're getting rid of all of the summer

347
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:58,220
 stuff, all the fall stuff.

348
00:14:58,220 --> 00:14:59,940
 And so fall stuff would be coming in.

349
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,820
 So I'd go to New York and buy all these nice stuff,

350
00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:04,780
 go nice clothes, I like to dress nice, you know.

351
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,260
 So I'd come back to LA, you know,

352
00:15:06,260 --> 00:15:07,420
 all these nice clothes and things.

353
00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:10,140
 And so on one of these trips, I connected with this girl

354
00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:13,380
 and told her that, you know, I want her to come

355
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,380
 to California, I want her to settle down

356
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:16,540
 and blah, blah, blah, you know,

357
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,220
 threw one of my lines on her.

358
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:20,260
 And so we started communicating, you know,

359
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:21,380
 over the next couple of months,

360
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:23,460
 I may have made one or two more trips back to New York.

361
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:27,260
 And so I convinced her to come to California

362
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:31,380
 and she did so, she was planning on coming in December.

363
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:33,540
 At first, initially she was gonna come for a couple of weeks

364
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:35,060
 to check it out and see if this is something

365
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:38,100
 that she wanted to do, make a move like this.

366
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:40,220
 But then after the time, you know,

367
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:41,460
 over the next couple of months,

368
00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:43,140
 I was able to convince her to come,

369
00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:44,620
 hey, just move out here, just move,

370
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,060
 say your stuff and move out here, you know.

371
00:15:46,060 --> 00:15:49,020
 And so she did it, she made that move, you know,

372
00:15:49,020 --> 00:15:50,920
 and I'm glad that she did.

373
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:56,620
 That was over 37 years ago and we're still married today.

374
00:15:56,620 --> 00:16:00,940
 It's a miracle and a blessing and a blessing.

375
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:04,940
 But we set up housekeeping and after a couple of months

376
00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:07,900
 while she was here, her father passed away

377
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,980
 and oh no, her mother passed away first.

378
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:12,940
 And she was concerned about her father,

379
00:16:12,940 --> 00:16:15,340
 so she went back home for a couple of months

380
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:17,780
 to spend time with her father, get him situated.

381
00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:19,780
 And shortly thereafter, he passed away too.

382
00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:23,860
 And so when she returned, after he passed away,

383
00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:28,620
 she had just one sister and her sister lived in New Jersey.

384
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:31,700
 And after everything had been settled out,

385
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:35,980
 you know, she had inherited some money

386
00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:39,300
 and she was suffering from this disease as well.

387
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:43,300
 And she was blowing a lot of her money

388
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:48,020
 on some substances that was really eating up our finances.

389
00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:50,860
 And so I told her that she needed to get help

390
00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:53,820
 with her problem or I was leaving, you know.

391
00:16:53,820 --> 00:16:57,780
 And so she did that, she went and got help.

392
00:16:57,780 --> 00:16:59,620
 I told her that my bags are packed, they're in the trunk,

393
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:03,860
 you know, and this teatop, you know, and I was leaving.

394
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:05,260
 And so she went and got help.

395
00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:07,380
 She went to this program called VISTA

396
00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:10,100
 where she actually met Bruce and Tom

397
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:11,780
 and a couple other people that are still around

398
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:12,980
 in this fellowship, you know.

399
00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:15,660
 And Cheryl and one of the things that,

400
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,940
 one of the requirements of that program,

401
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:20,180
 there was a lot of programs going on around that time

402
00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:22,180
 and one of the requirements of this program

403
00:17:22,180 --> 00:17:24,620
 was to go to a couple of AA meetings a week

404
00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:26,420
 and so she started doing that, you know.

405
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:31,060
 And that's where she found Life's in Session.

406
00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:33,540
 You know, Life's in Session had a Thursday night meeting

407
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:37,220
 there at this program.

408
00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:39,580
 They used their facilities for a Thursday night meeting

409
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,620
 and that's where I met some of these guys

410
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:44,300
 and then a couple of months later,

411
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:47,180
 I found the Saturday night Life's in Session meeting.

412
00:17:47,180 --> 00:17:49,940
 And you know, I wasn't an alcoholic originally.

413
00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:53,260
 I came not only to check up on my wife

414
00:17:53,260 --> 00:17:54,620
 and see what she was doing,

415
00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:59,500
 but also, you know, I was living from Peter to Paul

416
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:04,420
 and you know, my life was unmanageable

417
00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:05,940
 but I didn't see it at the time.

418
00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:07,940
 And they told me, "If you come to enough meetings,

419
00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:09,540
 "you'll hear your story one day."

420
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:12,260
 And I heard it one day, you know.

421
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:14,300
 From a young man, different ethnic background,

422
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:15,140
 different upbringing.

423
00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:16,260
 He was born and raised in the country

424
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:17,620
 and I was born and raised in the city

425
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:20,900
 and he was white and I was brown.

426
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,620
 But I identified with the causes and conditions

427
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:25,300
 and how he drank and why he drank.

428
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:27,740
 I'm like, "Wow, that's my story, that's my story."

429
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:32,740
 And I identified and I caught alcoholism

430
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:35,500
 sitting in one of these meetings

431
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,860
 and started raising my hand

432
00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:42,100
 and did the things that they suggested we do around here.

433
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:45,900
 Took me a little while to get a sponsor.

434
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:48,380
 You know, I'm college educated.

435
00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:52,340
 I'm an intellectual and I interviewed a couple of people,

436
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:56,140
 quite a few potential sponsors, you know.

437
00:18:56,140 --> 00:19:00,260
 And so I asked my wife, you know,

438
00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:01,300
 "Who should I get to sponsor?

439
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:03,060
 "Who should I get to sponsor me?"

440
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:05,180
 So she said, "Well, sponsors are the one that pays you

441
00:19:05,180 --> 00:19:06,500
 "when you go out to speak.

442
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:10,300
 "They pay you $100 when you become a main speaker."

443
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:11,140
 I said, "What?"

444
00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:12,060
 I said, "$100?"

445
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:14,820
 I said, "Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good deal.

446
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,780
 "Yeah, all right, that's really a pretty good meeting here.

447
00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:18,620
 "All right."

448
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:21,540
 So I had asked Chuck, Chuck Andreessen,

449
00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:24,540
 one of the founders or the founder of Life's In Session,

450
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:27,420
 to sponsor me and she said,

451
00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:28,700
 "Go ahead and ask Chuck about it."

452
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:29,660
 You know, and so,

453
00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:33,220
 so I go to Chuck and I said, "Hey, Chuck,

454
00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:34,420
 "you know, I told you about, you know,

455
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,220
 "how I'm running from Peter to Paypal

456
00:19:36,220 --> 00:19:37,900
 "and, you know, I'm having some financial difficulties.

457
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,380
 "I know, you know, the lights are turned out

458
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:40,540
 "a couple of months ago, you know,

459
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:42,700
 "because I didn't pay the, you know, the DWP bill,

460
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:44,540
 "you know, and so, you know, I heard, you know,

461
00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:46,660
 "when you become a main speaker and you go out to speak,

462
00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:47,860
 "you know, they pay you $100

463
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:49,340
 "and I think this would be a good way for me

464
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:51,500
 "to make some extra couple of extra hundred bucks a month,

465
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,460
 "you know, if I had to go out and become a main speaker,

466
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,660
 "you know, and I had like, you know,

467
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:57,780
 "68 days or something, you know, and so,

468
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,180
 "but, you know, I'm articulate, I got suits here,

469
00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:02,700
 "I got suits, you know, four or five different color suits,

470
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,780
 "you know, I can do this, you know, and so."

471
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:09,420
 I'm sure Chuck is laughing up in heaven today,

472
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:12,380
 still to this day, because listen,

473
00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:15,820
 "No, no, no, we do this for fun and for free, you know,

474
00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:20,660
 "and so, lo and behold, they went my part-time job, you know,

475
00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:25,180
 "or my revenue stream, as it's referred to,

476
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:28,020
 "these millennials, and so I had to do it

477
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:31,580
 "the old-fashioned way, stick my nose to the grindstone

478
00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:36,100
 "and just go to work, you know, and not be a big shot,

479
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,780
 "you know, just become a worker amongst the workers,

480
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,420
 "as it talks about in the big book, you know, and so,

481
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:46,180
 "one of my first experiences in a miracle for me

482
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:48,900
 "happened when I was, you know, a couple of months sober,

483
00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:51,220
 "I was still reading the big book from cover to cover,

484
00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:54,160
 "and which I recommend newcomers,

485
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:58,820
 "and don't skip any chapters, cover to cover.

486
00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:00,680
 "I was getting fired from my job.

487
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,380
 "They told me that they put me on progressive discipline,

488
00:21:03,380 --> 00:21:05,380
 "and I was, you know, had about maybe eight months

489
00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:07,340
 "of sobriety, you know, and I went to Chuck,

490
00:21:07,340 --> 00:21:08,180
 "I said, Chuck, you know,

491
00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:10,180
 "they write me up progressive discipline,

492
00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:13,220
 "you know, my manager, you know, I'm in sort of

493
00:21:13,220 --> 00:21:15,300
 "a management position, I work in human resources,

494
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,440
 "and so they're writing me up, you know,

495
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,920
 "for, you know, not meeting expectations of my job,

496
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:21,980
 "you know, and I thought I was the best thing

497
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:23,780
 "that ever happened to this company, you know,

498
00:21:23,780 --> 00:21:26,580
 "how dare them write me up like this, you know?

499
00:21:26,580 --> 00:21:28,300
 "That's humiliating, you know?"

500
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:30,820
 So Chuck said, "Well, I want you to, you know,

501
00:21:30,820 --> 00:21:32,420
 "dust off your resume and start, you know,

502
00:21:32,420 --> 00:21:34,180
 "going out and filling out applications

503
00:21:34,180 --> 00:21:35,660
 "at some companies that may be attracted."

504
00:21:35,660 --> 00:21:37,420
 I said, "What do you mean, fill out applications?"

505
00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:39,180
 He says, "Yeah, go, fill out an application."

506
00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:42,960
 I said, "Oh, wait, no, oh Chuck, you misunderstood me.

507
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,760
 "I am college educated, I have a degree,

508
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,300
 "I have a resume, you know?"

509
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:47,860
 So I said, "I'll start sending it out."

510
00:21:47,860 --> 00:21:49,400
 He said, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

511
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,020
 "No, you're gonna go fill out applications."

512
00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:52,660
 And I'm like, "Oh man, fill out applications?"

513
00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:54,400
 So I had to humble myself and be willing

514
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,180
 to go fill out applications, sit in the lobby,

515
00:21:57,180 --> 00:22:01,060
 and fill it out in hand and paper, not doing it online,

516
00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:04,780
 you know, at home, or in Starbucks, you know?

517
00:22:04,780 --> 00:22:07,780
 Man, I had to fill out this application

518
00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:09,980
 and apply for different jobs.

519
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,260
 In any case, long story short,

520
00:22:11,260 --> 00:22:14,940
 I got a better job making more money, you know?

521
00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:18,800
 And that was one of my first miracles.

522
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,460
 One of my other miracles, I found that,

523
00:22:22,460 --> 00:22:25,380
 because my drinking was like this.

524
00:22:25,380 --> 00:22:27,420
 It would start out like this, me be starting at home,

525
00:22:27,420 --> 00:22:29,120
 drinking at home for a few little bit.

526
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:33,140
 I drank and blacked out, you know, and danced and partied,

527
00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:35,860
 it was the life of the party, and then get home,

528
00:22:35,860 --> 00:22:37,980
 and then probably wound up urinating on myself

529
00:22:37,980 --> 00:22:38,940
 or someone else.

530
00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:41,780
 I see we have a few other urinators here tonight.

531
00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:45,360
 All right, all right, I'm not alone, I'm amongst my people.

532
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:48,140
 All right, all right, we got a few more coming up.

533
00:22:48,140 --> 00:22:50,740
 Come on, raise your hand, I know you out there.

534
00:22:50,740 --> 00:22:54,900
 It was the baby, it wasn't me, the baby, the baby did it.

535
00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:58,340
 But I think, you know, I did as they suggested,

536
00:22:58,340 --> 00:23:00,180
 you know, I got a sponsor, read the big book

537
00:23:00,180 --> 00:23:02,580
 from cover to cover, started taking the steps,

538
00:23:02,580 --> 00:23:04,380
 taking them, reading, learning them,

539
00:23:04,380 --> 00:23:06,380
 learning about the principles in each step

540
00:23:06,380 --> 00:23:08,900
 and how to apply it to my life, you know,

541
00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:12,260
 about honesty and open-mindedness and willingness

542
00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:15,380
 and having courage to go sit in that lobby

543
00:23:15,380 --> 00:23:18,340
 and fill out that application and perseverance.

544
00:23:18,340 --> 00:23:20,340
 You know, when things are not going my way,

545
00:23:20,340 --> 00:23:22,680
 just, you know, buckle up and keep it going,

546
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,900
 keep it pushing, you know, and life today is incredible.

547
00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:29,060
 You know, it's not always rosy

548
00:23:29,060 --> 00:23:30,700
 'cause my head gets in the way, you know.

549
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:33,460
 I still call my sponsor on a regular basis.

550
00:23:33,460 --> 00:23:34,980
 I still see my sponsor on a regular.

551
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:37,140
 As a matter of fact, I see him every Thursday night

552
00:23:37,140 --> 00:23:38,500
 because I have a must meeting.

553
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,700
 I must go to that meeting no matter what.

554
00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:43,860
 And I'm proud of my home group, USR,

555
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:45,260
 Unity Service and Recovery.

556
00:23:45,260 --> 00:23:48,900
 We are very involved with service.

557
00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:50,540
 You know, we have a commitment every Saturday,

558
00:23:50,540 --> 00:23:53,620
 every other Saturday, answering phones at central office.

559
00:23:53,620 --> 00:23:57,180
 We have other commitments with other groups

560
00:23:57,180 --> 00:24:00,160
 and I'm excited for what our group has to do this year.

561
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:04,140
 You know, I've been asked to become the retreat coordinator,

562
00:24:04,140 --> 00:24:06,380
 so I'm coordinating our retreat, you know.

563
00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:10,460
 And I'm excited because I love doing this kind of stuff,

564
00:24:10,460 --> 00:24:13,780
 you know, 'cause I wanna see Alcoholics Anonymous continue

565
00:24:13,780 --> 00:24:16,000
 'cause I don't know who's coming through the door next.

566
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,380
 It could be one of my relatives,

567
00:24:17,380 --> 00:24:21,220
 could be one of my sons or grandsons, you know.

568
00:24:21,220 --> 00:24:24,060
 And so I wanna make sure this fellowship continues

569
00:24:24,060 --> 00:24:27,300
 and that's why I do the things that I do.

570
00:24:28,820 --> 00:24:30,220
 I had a great day today.

571
00:24:30,220 --> 00:24:32,220
 I got up and my grandson started.

572
00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:34,700
 Today was the first day of opening day of baseball,

573
00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:37,820
 little league, and I got to see him get a couple of hits

574
00:24:37,820 --> 00:24:39,780
 off the machine, you know, and that was so exciting,

575
00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:43,380
 you know, and to watch him and watch my son

576
00:24:43,380 --> 00:24:46,420
 and him become a dad, you know, because without,

577
00:24:46,420 --> 00:24:48,460
 you know, you guys taught me how to be a father.

578
00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:49,820
 You guys taught me how to be a coach

579
00:24:49,820 --> 00:24:54,020
 and how to be a, you know, a man and how to be a father,

580
00:24:54,020 --> 00:24:55,440
 you know, and how to be a father, you know.

581
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:59,380
 And so I don't talk about my son a lot enough,

582
00:24:59,380 --> 00:25:03,100
 you know, because you guys helped grow him up

583
00:25:03,100 --> 00:25:07,160
 and he grew up to do great things on his own,

584
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,260
 not on his own, but of course, with the love and support

585
00:25:09,260 --> 00:25:12,260
 of, you know, us and what you guys taught me here.

586
00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:17,780
 He went to the best university on the West Coast,

587
00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:20,140
 Berkeley, and for undergrad.

588
00:25:20,140 --> 00:25:22,460
 Don't hate, don't hate, don't hate.

589
00:25:22,460 --> 00:25:25,740
 I know you got a bunch of USCs here, don't hate.

590
00:25:25,740 --> 00:25:28,940
 Oh, UCLA, whatever, baby bears, whatever.

591
00:25:28,940 --> 00:25:38,940
 But he went on to Temple University and got his law degree

592
00:25:38,940 --> 00:25:41,860
 and came back to California and passed the bar

593
00:25:41,860 --> 00:25:45,260
 and he's a lawyer now, you know, and amazing, amazing.

594
00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:47,860
 You know, one more drink, one more sniff, one more puff.

595
00:25:47,860 --> 00:25:48,980
 You know, I would have missed it all.

596
00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:50,420
 I would have missed it all.

597
00:25:50,420 --> 00:25:53,620
 But, you know, it's meetings like this, it's the fellowship,

598
00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:56,340
 you know, it's hanging around with, you know, sober people

599
00:25:56,340 --> 00:25:58,340
 and hanging around with people that are doing the do.

600
00:25:58,340 --> 00:26:00,500
 People like Juan and Lacey, you know,

601
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:02,060
 getting involved with H&I.

602
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:05,980
 I did biking for books, biking for books.

603
00:26:05,980 --> 00:26:09,340
 That's it, I did it, I did it, you know?

604
00:26:09,340 --> 00:26:14,340
 And it's great because, you know, they say 80 to 90%

605
00:26:14,340 --> 00:26:17,580
 of the people that get involved with H&I stick around.

606
00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:18,920
 So if you're not an H&I yet,

607
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,140
 I suggest you get into it, you know?

608
00:26:21,140 --> 00:26:24,540
 Because the people there are doing this deal, you know?

609
00:26:24,540 --> 00:26:26,460
 So if you're new here tonight, get a big book,

610
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:27,900
 get a sponsor, get a friend,

611
00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:29,940
 get a home group right here, stay right here.

612
00:26:29,940 --> 00:26:32,800
 Or you can come to USR on Thursday nights, men's tag.

613
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:37,860
 But more importantly, you know, no matter what,

614
00:26:37,860 --> 00:26:39,460
 don't leave before the miracle happens.

615
00:26:39,460 --> 00:26:41,860
 God bless you and keep you on, keep coming back.