1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,680 - My name is Frank. I'm an alcoholic. 2 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:03,240 - All right. 3 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,640 - Thank you, Scott, very, very much 4 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:05,760 for having me here tonight. 5 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,380 Marianna, that was wonderful. 6 00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:09,080 You're a hard act to follow. 7 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,880 I'm glad to be here tonight. 8 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,440 I spoke at this meeting seven years ago 9 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,880 when Elizabeth was secretary, 10 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,600 and Elizabeth and I and Scott, I guess, 11 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,560 knew each other from the convention planning committee 12 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,080 that we served on at the time. 13 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:26,360 And I gotta tell you, when I came to that meeting, 14 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,240 and that was the meeting that was down the back alley, 15 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,360 and I didn't get mugged or anything that night, 16 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,360 but when I got there, I had no idea. 17 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,840 I'd never been to this meeting before, 18 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,600 and I pulled up, and there was a bigger group at the time, 19 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,320 as you know, but there was a group of ladies, 20 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,680 about 10 or 12 ladies, that were in a circle, 21 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:44,880 and they're all holding hands in the parking lot. 22 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,440 And I wasn't sure if I had the right place or not, 23 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,600 but anyhow, I got in there, and I found out later 24 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,760 that these ladies were praying for the young lady 25 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,360 who was gonna be the 10 minutes speaker that night. 26 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,920 So I didn't know, when I pulled up here tonight, 27 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,200 and I was so impressed with her, I really was, 28 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,920 'cause after I left that meeting, 29 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,520 I was telling all my friends about that great meeting 30 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,960 down there in Sherman Way, and the spirit of that meeting. 31 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,640 But when I pulled in tonight, there was a group of guys, 32 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,520 and I hope you guys were all praying for me tonight. 33 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:15,840 (audience laughing) 34 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:19,400 Anyhow, I wanna preface my remarks 35 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,960 that I'm not a circus speaker, I'm an alcoholic 36 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,000 who's been asked to share his experience, strength, 37 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,520 and hopefully with you people. 38 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,400 And I wanna watch the time. 39 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,960 I remember several years ago, I was speaking up in Ojai, 40 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,440 about a group about like this, a real friendly group, 41 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,120 and there was a break during that meeting, 42 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,240 and one of the guys, one of the old times that the break 43 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,040 came up to me, he says, "Look, this meeting ends at 8.30, 44 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,440 "and if you're not done, you're gonna be here by yourself." 45 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:45,280 (audience laughing) 46 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,560 I don't wanna be in that situation here tonight. 47 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:52,560 Anyhow, I didn't get to this program by any accident. 48 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,320 I drank for 30 years, I was 48 years old 49 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:56,840 when I came into this meeting. 50 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:01,440 Back up a second, my sobriety date is September 19th, 1984. 51 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,640 My home group is the Stags of Sobriety, 52 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,640 which is a men's stag at the Cabrillo House 53 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,400 in Colonel Clark, and that's been my home group 54 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,200 for about the last 11 years. 55 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,600 My first 26 years in the program, my home group 56 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:18,520 was a men's stag meeting that went from home to home. 57 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:22,120 And what a wonderful feeling that is to host a meeting. 58 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,000 We had anywhere from 15 to 25 guys, 59 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,680 and some days we had either rent chairs 60 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,440 to get the people in that meeting, 61 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,160 but what a wonderful feeling that was. 62 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,200 And we stayed together for 20-some years, 63 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,440 and because the problem with that type of meeting 64 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,360 is that we did not have our name in any kind of directory. 65 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:43,000 It was just, and so we lacked bringing in newcomers. 66 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:43,840 That was our fault. 67 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,320 And all of a sudden, we were down to about four or five guys 68 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,840 because other people had either moved away, 69 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,920 started a new meeting of their own, 70 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:52,760 and so forth. 71 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,520 So we made a group conscience to dissolve our meeting, 72 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:01,520 and then I found the stag sobriety here in Colonel Clark. 73 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,400 I'm not going to get into a big drunken log, 74 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,800 but I want to assure you that I burned my seat 75 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,360 in this program. 76 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,720 I drank everything under the sun. 77 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,400 I'm originally from Cleveland, Ohio, 78 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,080 where actually I'm from the rural part 79 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,040 of Cleveland farmland. 80 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,560 And in Ohio at that time, 81 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,720 they had something called 3/2% alcohol beer. 82 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,920 I don't know if anyone calls that or not. 83 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,640 I'm going back in time. 84 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,000 But I, so I didn't drink while I was in high school. 85 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,240 I didn't smoke, but I certainly made up for it 86 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:32,560 when I got out of high school, 87 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,400 and I drank everything I could get my hands on. 88 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,360 When I got out of high school, I had no, 89 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,720 there was no intention or discussion, I should say, 90 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,440 in our family about going to college. 91 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,960 And Marianna, I think that's wonderful 92 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,320 that you put yourself together. 93 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:50,520 So I went to work, and I went to work at that time. 94 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:51,800 Actually, I was working part-time 95 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,680 for the last two years in school as a part-time dishwasher. 96 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,320 And I stayed with that company for the next 16 years. 97 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,800 I went to work after I got out of high school 98 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,160 as a dishwasher, and one day I talked to my boss, 99 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,200 and I just told him that I had some desires 100 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,720 to stay in that industry. 101 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,880 This was a big cafeteria that I worked at. 102 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,640 And to make a long story short, he said, 103 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,720 "Well, if you're interested in the business, 104 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,560 you're going to have to learn how to cook 105 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,640 or have a knowledge of cooking. 106 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,680 You don't have to be a chef, 107 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,200 but you have to know a knowledge of cooking 108 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,560 because of recipes and that type of thing." 109 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,480 So he said, "But," and I was working 110 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,080 an eight to 4.30 shift as the porter, 111 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,760 washing dishes, mopping floors, putting stores away, 112 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,520 so on and so forth, and I enjoyed it. 113 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,280 He said, "Well, the cooks start at 5.30 in the morning, 114 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:37,240 and if you want to come in and work with the cooks, fine. 115 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,680 I'll let them know, and they can show you the ropes, 116 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:40,920 and you can work with them. 117 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,240 But there's one thing," he said, 118 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,680 "because of our budget, I can't afford to pay you." 119 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,560 This was going back into the '50s. 120 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,320 So I came in at 5.30, and I worked from 5.30 to 8, 121 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,600 8 o'clock with the cooks, doing breakfast, 122 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,160 short order work, bringing up sauces and things like that. 123 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,440 And then at 8 o'clock, I turned into the porter. 124 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,920 I wasn't paid for those first two and a half hours, 125 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,320 but I did that for a long time. 126 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,160 I stayed with that industry. 127 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,520 I was in management by the time I was 20. 128 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,680 I was in supervision when I was 27. 129 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,480 This was a big national food service chain. 130 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:16,280 And I wasn't only an alcoholic, I was a workaholic. 131 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,120 And two kind of went together, whether there was food, 132 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,480 there was alcohol, and I learned how to tend bars. 133 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,840 So I was also a part-time bartender, 134 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:26,160 and one for the customer, and one for me. 135 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,440 It seemed to work that way for a while. 136 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:32,120 In any event, you know, I met a young lady. 137 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,520 I have to tell this story, my wife's not here tonight. 138 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,440 She's, my wife has Parkinson's, 139 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,560 and she doesn't get around like we used to, 140 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:40,920 but we'll talk about that. 141 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,760 And she's a tough bird. 142 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,360 She's the love of my life and my best friend. 143 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:47,360 My wife's name is Sandy, 144 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,760 and Sandy and I, in April, were married for 62 years. 145 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:51,800 We still like each other. 146 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:52,800 We're still friends. 147 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,880 She's the love of my life, and she's my best friend. 148 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:00,280 And you know, with the pandemic this past year or so, 149 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,160 we've been kind of all cooped up together. 150 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,720 And I don't know about you people 151 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,040 and the married couple in the back, 152 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:08,040 and you know, do you get on each other's nerves? 153 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,920 Well, my wife and I, even after 62 years, 154 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,040 get on each other's nerves, 155 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,880 and we made a pact among ourselves 156 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,920 that we're only going to have one argument a day. 157 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,320 And my wife says, "You better make it a good one." 158 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,560 So moving on to the drinking portion. 159 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:23,760 We were married young. 160 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,240 We started a family. 161 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,960 We had two sons a couple of years apart. 162 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,600 We got married in 1959. 163 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:34,760 In 1969, after I had moved up the ladder with this job, 164 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,280 and I had a good job, 165 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,080 I got a little burned out, 166 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,440 and the alcohol was taking over my life. 167 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:46,240 And I had a job offer to come to California 168 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,200 to change locations 180 degrees. 169 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,240 I was going to go to work for a company 170 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,840 who was starting up in the training computer 171 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,280 and making educational films. 172 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,520 I knew nothing about this. 173 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,960 I didn't know a computer from microwave oven. 174 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,400 And so, but I, at that time, again, 175 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,240 the alcohol was taking over my life. 176 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:09,400 And my wife was, we sat down and we talked about it. 177 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,600 And she said, "You know, sweet person she is, 178 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,800 whatever you want to do, we'll do." 179 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,560 So we packed up in June of 1969. 180 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,560 We drove cross country with the two boys 181 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,600 who were at that time, nine and seven. 182 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,600 We got to California. 183 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:26,480 I started a new job and it wasn't long into that job. 184 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,960 I was bored stiff. 185 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,960 I was doing office work. 186 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,960 I was like, I was a clock watcher. 187 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,160 I could hardly wait to get out of there. 188 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,520 And I used to put it in 10, 12 hour days 189 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,600 when I was back in the food business. 190 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,080 And I didn't object to that at all. 191 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,600 And finally, after the boring man, 192 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,040 a lot of drinking and a lot of disruptors, 193 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,520 just a lot of damage to the family during that period. 194 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:52,000 I talked to my boss and I told him I needed to leave. 195 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,240 And he says, "Fine, if you want an interview, 196 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,440 just, you can stay here as long as you want to stay here." 197 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,120 So after about six months, I says, "Sure." 198 00:07:59,120 --> 00:07:59,960 That's my boss. 199 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,800 I says, "I have to, I really have to go now." 200 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,200 And fortunately, very fortunately, I interviewed 201 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,800 for a job up in Tacoma, Washington, 202 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,440 which is between Seattle, excuse me, 203 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:12,560 Federal Way, Washington, 204 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,400 which is between Tacoma and Seattle. 205 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,080 And it was with the same company 206 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,680 who I worked for back in Cleveland, 207 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,240 but they were a national company now. 208 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,800 And they were opening up a major food service 209 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,520 for a major lumber company. 210 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,440 I won't mention the name 211 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,360 because I did some damage up there too. 212 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:30,040 But I had the best of all worlds. 213 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:31,840 I had stayed with that company 214 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,920 for 16 years back in Cleveland. 215 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,160 They rehired me within a year's time. 216 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,440 I went up to Federal Way, Washington. 217 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,280 I opened up this gorgeous, gorgeous cafeteria. 218 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,240 It had executive dining rooms on the top floor. 219 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,520 We entertained the governors and the senators. 220 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,680 And at that time, Richard Nixon was vice president. 221 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:52,160 He came out and toured the facility. 222 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,040 And when they came out, my cook stayed over 223 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,600 and she did the cooking for these people. 224 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,720 And I put on a little gold jacket. 225 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,640 It became the bar counter. 226 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,080 I loved that job. 227 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,320 The bar was crossed as big as the case 228 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,840 where we kept all the liquor. 229 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,840 When it started to focus at the sofa, 230 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,120 but six feet high, it all glanced in. 231 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,640 And the vice president said to me, 232 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:13,480 "Here's the key." 233 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:14,680 It was a locking key. 234 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:18,480 There were only two people who had access to that booth. 235 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,040 And it was me and him and I. 236 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,240 And he says, "The one thing you have to know, 237 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,160 we don't ever want to run out of milk." 238 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,680 Well, he's talking to the right guy. 239 00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:30,960 So whenever any of the alcohol got down to a short level, 240 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,480 I made sure that I went out and replaced it. 241 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,440 But all those partial bottles in a brown bag 242 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,840 ended up in my apartment. 243 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,320 And I had my whole countertop was full of those. 244 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,640 So I was only up there for six, seven months. 245 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:44,480 It rains. 246 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,560 If anybody survived with that area geographically, 247 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,880 it rains every day, every day. 248 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,880 And there's probably a lot of alcoholics 249 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,480 up there because of them. 250 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,320 I fit right in. 251 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,880 So I came back and I, fortunately, 252 00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,680 I was able to change jobs in the same field. 253 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,480 But here's what happened. 254 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,840 Because of the drinking continued and continued, 255 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,560 I found myself after putting in 16 years, 256 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,040 and I found myself changing jobs every year 257 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,520 because they didn't want to do it my way. 258 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,720 And my wife and I went through some marital problems 259 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:16,560 at that point. 260 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,000 We were married about 14 years. 261 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,560 We had a third child. 262 00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,080 Shortly after we came out here, 263 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,560 I thought my wife was carsick when we drove out here 264 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,640 and I planned out here, she's pregnant. 265 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,800 So eight years later, we had number three. 266 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,160 And, but the kids were kind of ignoring dad 267 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,240 and my wife and I weren't getting along well. 268 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:34,680 Jobs, I was changing. 269 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,280 Fortunately, fortunately, 270 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,200 I was able to piece my employment together 271 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,880 within a reasonable period of time, 272 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,840 but I had to change my resume. 273 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,200 I had to fake it a little bit. 274 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,640 I don't know if anyone's ever done that, 275 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,200 but a good alcoholic knows how to do that. 276 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,600 So I, my, and I jumped around from job to job 277 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,400 and my last employment before I did retire 278 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,040 was I was the food service director at a major hospital 279 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,200 in Pasadena, Huntington Memorial Hospital. 280 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,720 I was there for 16 years and I had a staff of 125 people. 281 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,400 All I had, I had five people to manage. 282 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,720 Those were my assistant managers. 283 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,960 But let me go back just a bit. 284 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,960 I drank a lot and that's what I'm here to talk about 285 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:12,800 a little bit. 286 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,200 And I drank everything and anything, 287 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,200 but towards the end of my drinking career, 288 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,920 as I call it, I really concentrated on drinking martinis. 289 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,160 Now, I'm not going to take a group conscience 290 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,000 if there's any martini drinkers here, 291 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,040 but I just want to share with you 292 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,240 what I call my perfect martini. 293 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,800 I'm going to take a little sip. 294 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,760 (laughing) 295 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,560 Anyhow, the perfect martini for me, 296 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,880 because I was a planner all my life. 297 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:39,080 I could plan things, plan menus, plan operations, 298 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,280 plan purchasing, and so I was planning my drinking. 299 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,440 And before I leave the house in the morning, 300 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,720 I'd have made sure there was at least 301 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,040 one of those big eight ounce tumbler glasses 302 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,240 that I would put in the freezer 303 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:51,960 'cause I wanted to chill glass. 304 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,440 Made sure I had enough vodka. 305 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,960 Made sure I had the vermouth. 306 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,840 Made sure I had ice. 307 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,680 Made sure I had olives. 308 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,600 'Cause you need a little nourishment, you know? 309 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:01,440 (laughing) 310 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,440 So I'd come home after what I call a tough day. 311 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:05,760 And again, I had a great job. 312 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:07,160 I made it tough. 313 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,480 I was a great finger player, but I survived. 314 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,040 So I come home and I'm going to have that perfect martini. 315 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,920 And I take the glass out of the freezer 316 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,200 and I get the ice cubes and put a few in there 317 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,760 and I take the vodka and I don't know measuring. 318 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,280 I just pour that boy right over. 319 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,360 And then I take just a dash of vermouth 320 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,520 'cause you don't wanna waste it. 321 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:24,680 That's a sin. 322 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,720 And a few olives again for the nourishment. 323 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,360 And I slug that boy down. 324 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,640 And then I have another one. 325 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:31,720 This is all before dinner. 326 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,640 'Cause dinner I may have a little glass of wine 327 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,120 and after dinner I'm gonna have a beer. 328 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,320 But so that was my perfect martini. 329 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,800 But after a while I'm gonna tell you 330 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,720 what that perfect martini turned into. 331 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,400 You know, I didn't need the frozen glass. 332 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,440 I didn't need the ice. 333 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:45,560 I didn't need the vermouth. 334 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,400 I didn't need those rotten olives. 335 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,240 And I'd come home and I'd drink that vodka 336 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,080 straight out of the bottle. 337 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,480 Soon as I got to the kitchen, 338 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:52,880 ran out of the cupboard to drink it. 339 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,280 And you know, after a while, 340 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,880 I guess the booze wasn't taking hold. 341 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,160 It wasn't doing what I thought it was supposed to do. 342 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,560 In fact, I thought my wife, who I love dearly, 343 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,120 I thought my wife was watering out my vodka. 344 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,120 So one day before I left for work, 345 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,360 I took a pen, I marked the back end of that bottle of vodka 346 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:11,840 'cause if she'd water it down, 347 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,080 that's gonna be up a little higher. 348 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,720 So I'd come home that day and I'd bottle it 349 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:15,840 and say, "Come in the kitchen." 350 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:16,840 So it's never gone. 351 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:17,680 They've marked it. 352 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:18,640 Everything is the same. 353 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:19,760 She wasn't watering down. 354 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,480 Is that the vodka and alcohol was not working for me anymore. 355 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,720 But that didn't stop me from drinking. 356 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,560 And I don't wanna go into all the, 357 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,520 some of the trouble I got into because of my drinking. 358 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,520 Fortunately enough, I was able to hold my job 359 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,240 and things like that. 360 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,040 You know, I got here, as I said before, 361 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,480 when I was 48 years old 362 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,560 and I've been sobering out for 37 years. 363 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:42,760 So if you do the math, 364 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,800 I turned 85 years old in October. 365 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,080 And I am getting a little, 366 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,400 I don't wanna say the same thing now. 367 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,520 Just someone, I heard a speaker on Sunday 368 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:51,960 who was a little younger than I and he says, 369 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,600 "I'm not old, I'm just seasoned." 370 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,120 So I'm seasoned, believe me. 371 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,360 So I wanna tell you, I remember my last drunk 372 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,160 as if it was yesterday and that's been 37 years. 373 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:06,080 And that was 13,583 days. 374 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,040 If I still remember that, it's clear as a bell. 375 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:12,080 And that happened on the 18th of September, 1984. 376 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,440 I came home from work. 377 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,960 And once again, I started complaining about my day, 378 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,280 my job, and all those other people. 379 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,040 And they don't understand the blah, blah, blah. 380 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,880 And here, started with that martini, started helping. 381 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,000 And my wife said, 382 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,240 "We're having company for dinner tonight." 383 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,160 One of the ladies I worked with and her husband, 384 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,320 they're coming over. 385 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,800 And at that time, Robin, we lived at the Christmas tree. 386 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,600 We lived that street right around the back of it on Friar, 387 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,040 which was near Pierce College. 388 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,280 And we had a nice backyard and a barbecue. 389 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,240 So they came over and I knew them. 390 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,640 And we had drinks before dinner, 391 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,280 during dinner, and after dinner. 392 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,760 And then, you know, in the conversation, 393 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,960 I'm starting to slur my words a little bit. 394 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,200 And he's starting to catch up with me. 395 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,240 And I, the fella was as nice as anyone here tonight. 396 00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,080 He was a nice guy. 397 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,320 And I didn't like something. 398 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,160 I didn't like he said something that just rubbed me wrong. 399 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,520 And I got very belligerent. 400 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,960 This nice guy with a shirt and tie tonight, 401 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,360 I got very rude. 402 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,520 And I didn't ask him. 403 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,480 I told him to leave. 404 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,080 I told both he and his wife to leave. 405 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,800 My wife is so embarrassed. 406 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,200 My wife was ready to kill me. 407 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,440 And I didn't kid her 408 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,400 because I'm just going to have another drink anyhow. 409 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,160 So I'm sure some of you people 410 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,360 may have been in situations similar to that. 411 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,280 Obviously my wife and I spent the rest of the evening 412 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,120 arguing. 413 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,160 One thing led to another. 414 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,560 I didn't stop drinking. 415 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,600 I don't know what time we ever went to bed. 416 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:35,240 I ended up in the back bed to know that for some time. 417 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,360 But anyhow, I woke up the next day and I had a hangover. 418 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,280 My head was as big as this room. 419 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:44,640 I don't know how I managed to get up to drive to Pasadena, 420 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,000 which is about 30 miles, 35 miles. 421 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,840 And I was just so scared to death. 422 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:50,680 I was shaking. 423 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,320 I don't know how I drove that fire. 424 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,000 I held onto that wheel as if it were the end of the world. 425 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,640 In any event, I got to work. 426 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,120 As usual, I'm the boss. 427 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,600 So good morning, good morning. 428 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:01,680 And I make my rounds. 429 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:02,840 I say hello to everybody. 430 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,560 And I go out to a coffee pot, 431 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,040 which is just right around the corner on the trade line. 432 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,280 And I pour myself a cup of coffee. 433 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,320 And by the time I got back to my office, 434 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,720 which is like from there to here, 435 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:17,320 I still have to already, because I'm shaking so bad, 436 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,160 so terrible. 437 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,600 And I knew right then and there, 438 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,920 but I couldn't make it the rest of the day. 439 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:22,760 I just couldn't. 440 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,720 So I called my assistant manager in and I said, 441 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,720 you know, I can't, I have to leave early today. 442 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,080 I think I have a touch of the flu or something. 443 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,360 Well, you know, she knew, my staff knew, 444 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,840 everyone knew that I was a drunk, except I didn't know. 445 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:36,960 I didn't know I was an alcohol. 446 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:37,800 I knew I drank a lot. 447 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,240 And every time I drank, I got in some kind of trouble. 448 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,960 Financially or at home. 449 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,640 But anyhow, so I go back home that morning, 450 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,360 about maybe about 10, 11 o'clock. 451 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,200 And my wife, she had stayed home that day from work 452 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,040 because we were up to all hours of the morning arguing. 453 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,200 And so she stayed home. 454 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,600 And by that time she was in the back bedroom, 455 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,920 door closed, obviously. 456 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,920 And I had to go in there and make amends, I guess. 457 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:03,240 So I went to the back bedroom and she was ignoring me. 458 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:06,320 And by this time Sandy and I were married for 25 years. 459 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,120 And I'm sure my wife would have liked to have a nickel 460 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:12,320 for every time I opened a conversation with, I'm sorry. 461 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,440 You know, this is where my story gets a little corny 462 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,440 because I'm sitting at the edge of the bed 463 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,760 and rather than saying, I'm sorry, I says, honey, 464 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,480 I think, I think I'm an alcohol. 465 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,920 Now why and where are those words ever came from? 466 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:25,760 I'll never know. 467 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:26,600 It was a gotcha. 468 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,360 And she said, why don't you lie down for a while, 469 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:32,040 get some rest and we'll talk about it after you get up. 470 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:32,880 And I did. 471 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,320 And I lay down in that bed, Scott, 472 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:38,200 and the room is spinning and I want to get out of here. 473 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,040 I'm sick. 474 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,320 And I said, God, get me out of this one. 475 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,440 I'll never take another. 476 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,600 God must've been listening to me that day 477 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:49,600 because it's been 13,583 days since I took that last drink. 478 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,080 And I got up around, I guess around four o'clock 479 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,800 and you know, I thought, I thought wrong. 480 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,920 I thought that maybe cold beer might be the answer. 481 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,800 You know, well, no, rather than that, 482 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,600 I had a little common sense 483 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,200 and I went to the telephone directory. 484 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,120 And again, I knew nothing about alcoholics. 485 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:06,960 Absolutely nothing. 486 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,520 How I even, so I started thumbing through the directory, 487 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,080 alcoholics, called out, called central office. 488 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,680 And then I saw alcoholics. 489 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,280 And I said, I don't know if I even said my name 490 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,120 or anything, I says, I need help. 491 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,480 And I talked to a charming, charming lady 492 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,560 who I've never met. 493 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,560 Her name was Phyllis. 494 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,200 Phyllis kept me on the phone for about 20, 30 minutes. 495 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,280 And she knew more about me at that, 496 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,080 after that time that I knew about myself. 497 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,640 She explained a little bit about the program 498 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,120 and how it works and things called meetings, 499 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,880 silk sponsors, being of service and so forth. 500 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,840 But all I knew is that I drank a lot 501 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,880 and I wanted to get the heat off at home. 502 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,200 So she didn't ask me, 503 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,040 and we lived in Woodland Hills at the time, 504 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,440 she didn't ask me if I wanted to go to a meeting that night. 505 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,560 She says, I'll have someone pick you up tonight 506 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,600 at seven o'clock, be ready. 507 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,440 That was it. 508 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:53,520 Knock on the door at seven o'clock, 509 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,880 gentleman who maybe about five, six, seven years older 510 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,720 and I get involved, he had a glass eye. 511 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,800 He said, my name is Jack, I'm an alcoholic. 512 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,240 I'm here to take you to your meeting. 513 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,320 Fine, so we walked, get in Jack's car. 514 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,960 First thing, he looks over at me with that glaring eye. 515 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,120 He says, did you drink much? 516 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,120 And I said, well, I had a couple. 517 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:14,480 Well, few days later, I thought about what Jack had asked me 518 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,400 and I went, had to go back to Jack and say, 519 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,360 Jack, I really drank more than a couple. 520 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,680 I said, very heavily. 521 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,000 He says, you know, I knew that, 522 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,280 but I wanted you to tell me. 523 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,560 He says, this is a program of rigorous honesty 524 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,280 and before you can be honest with anyone else, 525 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,600 you have to be honest with yourself. 526 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,120 So Jack took me to my first meeting, 527 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,960 which was a big speaker meeting on Lindley Avenue. 528 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:37,320 56, 57 Lindley Avenue, there was a church in front, 529 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:38,840 the big meeting hall in the back. 530 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,120 And that's where the convention planning committee 531 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,560 has met for years and years. 532 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,360 But anyhow, I went to that speaker meeting 533 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,680 and I was amazed. 534 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,680 I walked into that, over a hundred people, I'm sure. 535 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,960 And I, again, know nothing about alcoholics. 536 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,400 And here's what I saw. 537 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,640 I saw people smiling and laughing and hugging each other 538 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,080 and having a good time and whatever they had, 539 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:00,960 that's what I wanted. 540 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,200 I didn't want the life that I had before. 541 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:07,280 My life was near ruins when I got here, believe me. 542 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,560 And I saw this and I loved it. 543 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:13,880 I saw the steps on the wall and it said, 544 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:17,120 we became unmanageable and our life was powerless 545 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,720 over alcohol and our life was on there. 546 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:19,560 And that was me. 547 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,160 That was me and I didn't have to look at any other steps. 548 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,000 That was it. 549 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,240 I knew I was in the right place. 550 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,880 But Jack took me home that night and my wife had stayed up 551 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,400 'cause she wanted to hear about the meeting. 552 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,360 And Lois said it was a speaker meeting. 553 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:33,120 And every once in a while, the speaker would refer 554 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:35,480 to something about almost telling my story. 555 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,400 Jack would nudge me. 556 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,080 He says, "Did I remind you of someone?" 557 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,920 He was my guardian angel for the first 30 days. 558 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,080 But Jack took me home that night 559 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,840 and he gave me two pieces of literature. 560 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,800 The first one was something called 20 questions. 561 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,920 Maybe some of you are familiar with it. 562 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,680 You know, it asks some very embarrassing questions here. 563 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,160 And he asked me to fill out this 20 questions. 564 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,480 Some of the questions were, 565 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,720 is drinking making your whole life unhappy? 566 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,160 Have you gotten into financial difficulties? 567 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,440 Yeah, we were gonna declare bankruptcy. 568 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,800 I wonder if that's what he meant. 569 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,920 Is drinking jeopardizing your job? 570 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,720 Yeah, every year it was jeopardizing it. 571 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,880 Do you drink to build your self confidence? 572 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,360 I had no self, I had no self esteem either. 573 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,480 Well, and if it says, if you answer yes 574 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,000 to one of the questions, you may be an alcoholic. 575 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,840 And then if you answer two or three, 576 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,600 but if you answer three or more, 577 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,040 you're definitely an alcoholic. 578 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:29,360 Well, I had 17 yeses and I lied on two others. 579 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:33,480 I was qualified. 580 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,080 He then picked up, he showed me, 581 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,080 he gave me a directory, AA directory. 582 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,320 And he said, look, here, he went through the directory 583 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,800 and he circled where he was gonna be the next six days 584 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:43,640 in a West Valley. 585 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:44,880 And he says, here's where I'm gonna be 586 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,040 for the next six days. 587 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,040 And I want you to meet me if you're serious about this. 588 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,280 And he said, look, you're 48 years old. 589 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,520 You know how to find all the bars and the booths. 590 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,760 You find these meetings. 591 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:55,600 And I did. 592 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,680 And I go to my second meeting and there was Jack. 593 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,160 He'd be at the other end of the hall, meeting hall. 594 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,960 And I'd walk in the door very sheepishly and he'd say, 595 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,240 hey, Frank, come on over here. 596 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,320 We want you to meet Frank. 597 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,000 He's got one day of sobriety. 598 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,560 And he had a voice that you could fill this room with. 599 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,800 And he would do that the next day and the next day 600 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:12,640 and the next day. 601 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,160 And I was so embarrassed. 602 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,000 And I said, you know what? 603 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,480 I saw some of the same people on Wednesday, 604 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,960 which was my first night, 605 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,120 again on Thursday and again on Friday. 606 00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:23,400 And these people just kind of, this is great. 607 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,440 So I, you know, I resist this. 608 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:32,440 In 37 years, I've never had the desire to pick up a drink. 609 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:33,760 Never. 610 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,480 I've been to probably some of the same stuff 611 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:36,840 that you've been to. 612 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,840 Lost both my parents, lost some close friends. 613 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,680 When my father passed away in 1988, 614 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,040 I was four years sober at the time. 615 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,560 And I loved my dad. 616 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:47,400 Loved him. 617 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,280 He had a stroke in November. 618 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,280 And I went back to see him like right around now 619 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,640 in the early December. 620 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,160 And I knew he wasn't gonna make it. 621 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,680 And he passed away in February. 622 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,440 And I got a call from my brother. 623 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,080 You better, you need to come home. 624 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,320 Which I did. 625 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,640 My wife and I went back. 626 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,160 And when I got back, both my brother who's, 627 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,000 my brother's two years older than I, he's 87 now. 628 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,320 He's living in Florida with alligators. 629 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,880 In any event, both my brother and my sister, 630 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,280 who's a few years younger than I, 631 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,240 they said, we're glad to see you because you're in charge. 632 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,160 We can't handle this. 633 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,240 And you know, I accepted that. 634 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,920 And I did just what you people and others have taught me 635 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:27,760 in this program. 636 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,560 I suited up and I showed up and I became responsible. 637 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,000 And I did whatever I needed to do 638 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:37,000 to help with my father's service and burial and so forth. 639 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,520 And nine years later, 640 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,480 I went through the same thing with my mother passed. 641 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,160 Both my brother and sister says, you're in charge. 642 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,640 We can't deal with this. 643 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,160 And you see, by that time too, 644 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,960 I had some program behind me. 645 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,520 I, maybe I knew some of the things that I've heard about 646 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,440 over the years that I could relate to. 647 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,840 And even though it was really difficult, losing my folks, 648 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,080 like I'm sure you folks have gone through, 649 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,320 I knew how to handle them. 650 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,440 I knew how to deal with certain things. 651 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:03,960 And it was a program taught me that. 652 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,080 School didn't teach me that. 653 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,480 Alcoholics, anonymous problems. 654 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,400 I've had, I'm watching the clock too. 655 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,600 I've had 37 great years with a few bad days fixed in. 656 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:13,600 Thank you. 657 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,160 You know, I've had a lot of help. 658 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:17,440 I've had a lot of assistance. 659 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,160 I got involved years ago when I was like a major sober 660 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,880 in a convention planning committee. 661 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,040 And I did everything. 662 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,280 I poured coffee, I 12 floors. 663 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,280 I worked in hospitality, I was a big breeder. 664 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,800 In one year, my wife says, 665 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:32,760 what are you gonna sign up for? 666 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,400 And I says, you know, I've done all these other things. 667 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,440 I think I'm gonna run for chairman, and I won. 668 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,480 That was an experience. 669 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,600 Yeah, and that's a big deal. 670 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,040 That's, you know, you're dealing with maybe 2,500 671 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:48,280 to 3,000 JC's have their own versions of how things should be. 672 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,520 But I met Scott and I met Elizabeth, what a charm she is. 673 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,120 And I met them at the convention. 674 00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:58,240 And I did not partake this past year 675 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,400 because of the virus and so on and so forth. 676 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,160 But I did stay on that planning committee for 29 years. 677 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,920 And I have done service work at central office for 22 years. 678 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,840 But I've had just a great experience. 679 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,760 People, I got four, I'm on my fourth sponsor. 680 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,240 I've had good sponsors, hard but good. 681 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:21,240 And my first group that I talked about early on 682 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,800 was Men's Stag, we met in homes. 683 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:23,800 There was a bunch of golfers. 684 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,800 And we met at the local golf courses every Saturday morning 685 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,520 for about 15 years. 686 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,560 We played nine holes of golf, come in, 687 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,960 complain about our golf games, have breakfast, 688 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,000 tell a few jokes. 689 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,440 And then we left and we all said, 690 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,320 I'll see you tonight at such and such a meeting. 691 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:39,520 And that's how things work. 692 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:40,760 Life has been good for me. 693 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,640 And I have to come back to and say, 694 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,440 I've not only had good sponsorships, 695 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,640 God's been in my corner. 696 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,280 And I've got a wife that is the best. 697 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,400 You know, she's my best friend. 698 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,240 I love her dearly. 699 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,360 And she wanted to Zoom on tonight. 700 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,760 And I said, no, because if I flub up tonight, 701 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,120 he will tell me about it. 702 00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:00,400 Okay, I want to say thank you so much 703 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,200 for having me here tonight. 704 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,160 Let's not let another seven years go by. 705 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,440 Anyhow, hope you all have a wonderful holiday. 706 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:07,320 Stay safe. 707 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:08,160 God bless you. 708 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,720 I guess we'll all see you, remember that. 709 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,960 (laughing) 710 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,040 - All of them, all of them.