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 First of all, I want to thank all the newcomers that raised their hands as newcomers in the

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 first 30 days.

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 And that's very important, you know, at this time, especially this home group as well.

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 I've been sober since March 1 of 1992.

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 And you know, I turned 31 a few months ago, and I didn't think I was going to stay sober

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 this long.

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 I guarantee you that, you know, because it was told to me my first meeting, my first

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 week of sobriety that if I did this for a year, my life would be different.

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 And I bought that concept from my first sponsor, Steve O.

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 And it's been a very good life.

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 I'll tell you what's going on with me today.

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 Recently, I had a triple bypass, 11, 15 years ago, and I've been having some health issues

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 with my heart and my clogged arteries, so on and so forth.

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 And the diagnosis at that time was, there's nothing they can do for me now, okay.

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 And my cardiologist told me, he goes, Rich, he goes, it's like waiting for the next earthquake.

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 That's what's going to go on with, you know, and that was very hard to swallow at that

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 time when I got the news.

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 So I asked for a second opinion, you know, I have to go to any link to do something to

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 hear the answer that I want to hear, okay.

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 And it might be the same result, okay.

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 That's what I have to look at.

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 And I have to face that, that's the way my life is going to turn, okay.

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 But I know that I've had a good life in sobriety and Alcoholics Anonymous from the time that

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 I came back in in March, okay.

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 And I've been blessed.

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 I've been blessed.

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 I've had a lot of good things, good and bad days in sobriety.

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 Anyway, I never planned to come to Alcoholics Anonymous as a young kid.

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 I mean, that wasn't on the agenda at the time.

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 Because it didn't really run in my media family, but it ran in both sides of my family, mother

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 and father's side of cousins, uncles, so on and so forth, that I got to see different

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 types of drinking.

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 I have never taken a social drink in my life.

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 I don't know what social drinking is.

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 I have no concept of a social drink.

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 I picked up my first drink when I was 15 years old.

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 And the guy that you see here tonight is a totally different individual than I was when

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 I was 15.

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 I want you to know that, okay.

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 I didn't come in here dressed like this, okay.

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 It was taught for me from the members of License Session upon address and be respectful for

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 Alcoholics Anonymous.

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 That's where I was trained, okay.

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 And I was given a foundation in that fellowship of how to stay sober, how to be active in

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 Alcoholics Anonymous, and how to stay in the center of Alcoholics Anonymous.

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 That's where it was given to me, okay.

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 My current group right now is Pacific group.

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 That's where I'm a member as well.

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 But all my training came from LIS, okay.

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 And I'm totally grateful for that group of the people that were here that time.

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 The only one left that saw me come in is Bruce.

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 He's the only member here that felt quality of life.

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 And I saw Goyo come in later on.

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 But the thing is, you know, I didn't plan to come to Alcoholics Anonymous.

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 It wasn't on the agenda.

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 But when I took that first drink with my friend Ruben, we were at a party across the street

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 in Norwalk where we grew up at.

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 That night has changed my entire life, okay.

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 I don't like my story.

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 I'll be the first to tell you that, okay.

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 But I grew up in an environment where there was a lot of violence, okay.

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 And that's all I knew was violence at that time.

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 I was a 15-year-old and I was given a weapon and a big beer that night.

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 And I took both.

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 And I thought that's what everybody did in that neighborhood, okay.

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 And I took them and I became the bodyguard for that gig of beer that night.

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 And I always kept my cup full that night.

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 And I love the effect produced by alcohol.

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 I am not prejudiced about what it tastes like.

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 If it's going to get me there, I'm going to drink it, okay.

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 And I love booze.

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 I was a booze drinker.

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 I wasn't a drug addict.

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 But I did do different things.

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 I was a good student growing up.

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 I had good parents that gave me a lot of value.

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 I had a personality of doing good a day and I was a nuisance in the evening, I'll put

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 it that way.

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 And I went out there and did things that I normally wouldn't do sober, okay.

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 And what happened for me was in my senior year of high school, I used to play a lot

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 of sports in school and I got hurt and I started to hang out with different people.

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 And these guys were not role models, I'll put it that way.

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 But I started hanging out with these individuals and I started doing things that I normally

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 wouldn't do.

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 And it got me in a lot of trouble.

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 I ended up in the California Youth Authority on my first offense and they gave me a nine-year

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 sentence.

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 And out of that sentence, I did almost five years.

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 And it was a tragedy that happened that I've always lived with for the rest of my life.

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 I'm not proud of who I was and what I did, what I was involved in, but a young man lost

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 his life in a gang fight, okay.

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 And it happened that way.

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 A lot of us were sent to the Youth Authority, nine of us were sent up.

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 And I remember walking around that facility wondering, what could have went different

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 that day, okay.

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 But I can never replay that tape where it would be different, okay.

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 I accepted the results.

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 I accepted my guilty verdict, you know, the agreement that came upon it.

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 And I did my time.

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 And when I left the facility, well, prior to leaving that facility, I used to do a lot

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 of drugs in the institution.

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 Okay.

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 The only thing I wouldn't do was heroin.

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 I had the opportunity to do it, but if I would have done it, I wouldn't be here tonight.

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 But I did everything else that was in there.

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 And when I was released, I made up for my lost strength by going out there and just

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 let's get it done again.

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 And I wasn't supposed to, I was supposed to abstain from alcohol.

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 I didn't even know what the word abstain meant, okay.

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 But I started drinking from my last drunk and I got drunk right away and I started drinking

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 to make up for the loss.

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 And during that period of time, I had gotten involved in a relationship with my young lady

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 up north and we got married and she tried to control my drinking and I don't like that.

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 I like when people try to tell me how much I can drink, how I can drink, so on and so

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 forth.

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 And that relationship only lasted two years because I was very uncomfortable in that situation.

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 And that was back in the early 80s.

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 I went to a lot of nightclubs at that time, disco was in.

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 I had a great time at those bars and nightclubs.

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 I drank a lot and I did those things.

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 And to that period of time, I had never heard about Alcoholics Anonymous.

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 Not one word about it.

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 I knew that my drinking had changed.

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 And I met another young lady at that time up north and we got married and she accepted

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 my drinking basically.

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 She used to do her thing.

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 I did my thing and we were very compatible at that time.

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 And we had a boy in that relationship, a rich junior, and he's my only child.

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 And you know, I tried to do the things as a husband, but I was a failure at it, okay.

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 And as time went on, my drinking changed and it became very ugly.

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 We ended up getting divorced.

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 She got custody of my son at that time.

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 And I knew later on that I would get custody of junior, somehow I was going to get him.

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 And she screwed up and the courts granted me full custody of my son.

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 And I took him and became the father for him.

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 And junior was a good kid to raise and he was a good boy.

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 And you know, I tried to get sober back in 1985.

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 That's when I first introduced myself into Alcoholics Anonymous to a guy named Jack D.

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 He had been sober 30 years at that time.

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 And Jack took me to my first meeting.

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 He saw something, I don't remember how I met Jack, but he knew there was something going

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 on with Rich.

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 He took me to a meeting here down south, you know, and I wasn't going to tell you folks

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 that I was alcoholic for one.

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 I wasn't going to tell you I can identify with you for two, okay.

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 But the examples that I was seeing at that time at those meetings, I was just like, I

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 knew that, okay.

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 But I wasn't going to plead guilty to any of that stuff, you know.

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 I tried to stay sober.

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 I bought the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and it's all involved, but I never read them.

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 I didn't have a sponsor at that time.

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 I didn't read the book.

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 I didn't do any steps.

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 I didn't have any commitments at the meetings.

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 I just went there just to hang out and listen to what you guys had to say.

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 That's all it was.

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 I was a taker.

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 And it was a Friday night, and I had been dry for three and a half years at that time.

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 It was a Friday night.

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 There was a lady speaking here in the valley, I believe it was.

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 And she gave a great talk, a good talk, you know.

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 But I had that reservation in my head.

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 I still had another drunken.

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 I knew it was coming, okay.

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 And I went out to a liquor store right after that meeting and bought me a 12-pack of Budweiser

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 and a fifth of Quavico.

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 And I said, let's get it on, find out, okay.

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 Those were my exact words.

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 Junior saw me take that drink, and he became very disappointed in me at that time.

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 And I stayed off for roughly almost two years after that relapse.

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 And I knew that my drinking was coming to an end.

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 I knew it.

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 And I happened to be at a bachelor party one Saturday night.

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 I was a mess.

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 I was a mess.

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 And I knew it was coming to an end.

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 And I had stayed in my apartment at that time on my recliner drinking a Budweiser that morning,

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 Sunday morning.

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 I'm going to come in with my third wife now at that time, but she wasn't my wife at that

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 time.

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 But she came in, he came in with Carolyn, and they both looked at me.

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 And they were both disappointed what they saw.

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 Junior walked into his bedroom, came back out about a minute or two later.

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 And he had my old one-year medallion for my first time of trying to get silver to activate.

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 And he threw, and he hit me in the forehead with it.

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 And he says, Dad, why don't you try this program one more time?

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 It might work.

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 And then he says, why don't you try getting a sponsor this time?

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 And this is out of an eight-year-old, okay?

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 And I was shocked.

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 I was really shocked.

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 And I'm trying to figure out, where did he get this information from?

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 Okay.

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 But he was right for an eight-year-old.

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 He knew what he was talking about.

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 That was on February 29th of '92, it was a leak that year.

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 And I went back into license session March 1st.

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 And the reason I didn't go to that meeting when I was sober the first time, because there

199
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:49,860
 was a lot of drug addicts at that park.

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00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:50,860
 It was off of Parthenia.

201
00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:52,560
 I don't remember the cross street.

202
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,720
 But that's one of the reasons I didn't go to that meeting, because of what was outside.

203
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,760
 I never took the step inside those doors to see what was inside that meeting.

204
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,760
 But after that relapse, I decided to go give that meeting a shot.

205
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:06,320
 And when I went in there, I heard a lot of conversations going on.

206
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:07,360
 People made sense.

207
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,120
 They were enjoying life, and they were laughing and smiling.

208
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,320
 And I hadn't seen that in a long, long time.

209
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,240
 And I got involved with that fellowship.

210
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,240
 I got involved with that group.

211
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,600
 And there was this one guy named Steven Allen.

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00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:22,360
 He kept bothering me, he kept sponsoring me, he kept sponsoring me, he ragged on me all

213
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,360
 the way.

214
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,360
 And I said, "No."

215
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,720
 So I ended up getting a sponsor, because this one guy, he had a laugh and smile.

216
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:28,720
 And that was Steve.

217
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:29,880
 I got him on a Saturday night.

218
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,320
 And he took me out to the parking lot, and I'll never forget the conversation that him

219
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,320
 and I had.

220
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,840
 He asked me if I believed in a power grid room to myself.

221
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,440
 And I said, "Well, I know there's something out there, I just don't know what it is."

222
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,120
 He goes, "Just believe it, I believe."

223
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,920
 And I've never forgotten those words from him.

224
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:46,200
 And he says, "I guarantee you something, Richie, because if you do this for a year, I guarantee

225
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,480
 your life will be different."

226
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,040
 And I've never forgotten those words.

227
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,200
 And I said, "I'll see if he's telling me this or not."

228
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:54,800
 So in spite of what he told me, I decided to stay sober for a year.

229
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,680
 And I don't know if I did it over resentment or what, but I was going to prove to him and

230
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:02,080
 everybody else that I could do it for a year, and I did it for a year.

231
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:05,760
 I didn't know I was going to have to share my story after a year at the podium, but I

232
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:06,760
 ended up doing that as well.

233
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:10,600
 But one of the things that Steve got me involved was into the steps.

234
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,560
 And I am so grateful that he got me into the steps, and especially the fourth and fifth

235
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,320
 step, because I have been carrying a lot of baggage in my life.

236
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,440
 I had a lot of wreckage.

237
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:24,240
 I had a lot of amends to make, but I was willing to do those stuff to clean up my side of the

238
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,240
 street.

239
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,200
 And I had to make amends to that second wife.

240
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,200
 And I hated it.

241
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,800
 I hated it with a passion.

242
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:30,800
 But I did.

243
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:35,120
 I made that amends to her, and she still doesn't talk to me to this day, but I had to do what

244
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,120
 I had to do.

245
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,080
 And I had to make amends to my son, Junior.

246
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,560
 And that was another hard one to do.

247
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,760
 That's when you're giving it to a little 10-year-old.

248
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,360
 But I did it.

249
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:50,080
 And a lot of financial amends I made, the people I ripped off in the streets, I had

250
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,840
 to go out and face them guys.

251
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,920
 And they were old gang members from my neighborhood.

252
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,600
 And I mean, it made me kind of nervous, I'll put it that way.

253
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:57,600
 But honestly, it got true.

254
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,280
 It made me a little nervous, but I did it.

255
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,000
 And I cleared all that stuff up.

256
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,520
 I got remarried in my third marriage with Carolyn.

257
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:09,680
 And we stayed married for almost eight years, and things didn't work out for us at that

258
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:10,680
 time.

259
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:11,680
 And recently, I gave her a phone call.

260
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,800
 She's still alive, but she doesn't remember who I am.

261
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,360
 And I spoke to her for a few minutes over the phone and says, "I've got to know your

262
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,360
 sobriety."

263
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,400
 And she didn't believe me, and this is Richard calling her.

264
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,920
 She didn't know who I was.

265
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,680
 And she's in a medical facility right now in Van Nuys.

266
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,120
 And she was a good lady.

267
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,720
 She was a darn good lady.

268
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,240
 I was the idiot.

269
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,100
 I was the terrible husband.

270
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:38,640
 And I couldn't see those stuff, those things I was doing in that relationship.

271
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,440
 I always wanted to point a finger at her, but I refused to look at the finger pointing

272
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,420
 back at me.

273
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,420
 And I ran from that relationship.

274
00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:46,420
 That's the honest-to-god truth.

275
00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:52,180
 I ran, and the kitchen got too hot for me, and I decided to get out of that relationship.

276
00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:53,180
 And that's what I did.

277
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:56,320
 And I've stayed single ever since I pointed from that marriage.

278
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,040
 And I've done a lot of things in sobriety.

279
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,640
 What's the title for this?

280
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:01,640
 Oh, okay.

281
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,400
 And I've done a lot of things in sobriety.

282
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,800
 He has two sons now.

283
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,080
 I have two grandsons.

284
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,080
 They keep me going.

285
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:11,300
 They keep me darn going, that little one, that little five-year-old.

286
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:12,720
 He really has me going.

287
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,480
 And my life has been different ever since that time.

288
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:20,440
 Junior has still been a good kid, 39 years old now.

289
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,240
 And I go, "Where have the years gone?

290
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,440
 Where have the years gone?"

291
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,600
 I know I got sober, and so many people weren't even born yet.

292
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,360
 It's been a blessing to be sober.

293
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,960
 I know I wouldn't trade it in today.

294
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,960
 One of the things that Steve-O got me involved with was hospitals and institutions.

295
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,040
 And I did that from the time I had six months of sobriety.

296
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,840
 I had panels that I said I would never go there.

297
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:43,840
 I would never go there.

298
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,360
 And I got a panel when I first was up north.

299
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,680
 I was sent up north to do something, and I ended up going on a panel.

300
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,280
 And I ended up going to the same institution that I was involved in.

301
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,560
 I went to the same dorm that I was involved in.

302
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,220
 And I got to see my old room.

303
00:12:57,220 --> 00:13:01,240
 I never thought I would go back there again, step feet on those grounds again.

304
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,240
 But I got to do that.

305
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:06,160
 When I was incarcerated in Norwalk at the youth authority there on Bloomfield, I got

306
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,880
 to go back there for a year to run that panel on the yard.

307
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:12,840
 I got to go back to Western, where I was there for four months, and do a panel there for

308
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,720
 four years in Supermax.

309
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:20,040
 And I've had panels at California State Prison, and I did that one for five years of maximum

310
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,040
 security.

311
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:24,120
 And I saw a lot of things going on in H&I panels.

312
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,760
 I was at the VA one time and doing a panel there as well.

313
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:32,360
 And one of the tenants there decided to go take a shower, come out naked, lay in front

314
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,360
 of my AA meeting.

315
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,360
 You know, that shocked the heck out of me.

316
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:41,000
 I thought I've seen everything in alcoholics and all that, I really did, you know.

317
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:46,000
 I had that situation happen, you know, I've had medical facilities where patients have

318
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:50,520
 come at me, you know, they're not all there at times, okay, and I've had that experience

319
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:51,520
 as well.

320
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:55,600
 And, but I have some good panels as well, different facilities I've been to, and I haven't

321
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,400
 been on a panel for some years now, but I, you know, I enjoyed when I was doing it.

322
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:03,160
 I did it for approximately 20 years going to H&I and getting involved with the board

323
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,160
 there as well.

324
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:08,880
 And, you know, becoming secretary at one of the meetings, a license session was an experience.

325
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:09,880
 I enjoyed it.

326
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,680
 I was a cake queen on Saturday night.

327
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,880
 And if you ever do a cake on a hot sunny night on Saturday night, don't bring an ice cream

328
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,600
 cake.

329
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,320
 I did that and it melted during the break.

330
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:28,000
 And I'll never forget that experience, showing that with one of our members, Lydia, Lydia

331
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:32,960
 W. was my assistant, okay, and our cake fell apart, we just scraped it off, you know.

332
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,600
 But my favorite commitment when I first got sober was doing the ashtrays.

333
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,840
 I missed those ashtrays of washing them and stacking them and putting them away.

334
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,880
 That was my favorite commitment where I did it for two years and I didn't want to give

335
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:44,880
 it up.

336
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:45,880
 I did, you know.

337
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:50,000
 But it was the fellowship in that group that got me going into alcoholics and honors.

338
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,280
 And I'll always be totally grateful for license session.

339
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,280
 That's where it started for me.

340
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:57,360
 Yeah, I came from the Pacific group to format, so on and so forth, but my foundation was

341
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,360
 given to me there.

342
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,160
 And they asked me, what kind of foundation do you consider it?

343
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:05,920
 And I was thinking about the foundation of a home, where the floor is solid, the walls

344
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,340
 might fall, but the foundation stays intact.

345
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:12,240
 I've had days where I have fallen down, you know, I felt like the walls fell down, but

346
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:17,000
 my foundation stayed intact with my feet moving forward still into the meetings, you know,

347
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,480
 and I go to meetings constantly all the time.

348
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:24,120
 I go to meetings when things are going good, when life is good, nothing's happening because

349
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:27,200
 I want, don't everyone forget how bad it gets, you know.

350
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,040
 I can go to meetings when I'm feeling crap and stuff like that.

351
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:33,080
 I know I'm feeling crappy, you know, I don't want to hear it.

352
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,000
 I don't want to be there, but I still show up.

353
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,000
 But it's very important that I go to meetings when life is good because I can get self-centered

354
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,200
 to think, you know what, I don't need to go to the set, you know, I don't have to go there

355
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,200
 Tuesday night.

356
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,680
 I'll get somebody to cover my commitment.

357
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:45,680
 I can do this Wednesday.

358
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,920
 I'll get Nolan to cover me Wednesday night, you know.

359
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:52,440
 I can play that game or another game, you know, and do one or two meetings a week and

360
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,440
 get away with it.

361
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:54,440
 But I don't do that.

362
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:58,640
 You know, I've been going to at least four meetings, meetings, and I was doing six or

363
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,360
 seven a week for a long, long time.

364
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,920
 After all these years, it's Friday.

365
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,800
 Meetings are very important, you know.

366
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:08,520
 I know that I wouldn't trade it in today and, you know, recently, you know, I believe that

367
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,840
 God works in a mysterious way.

368
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,840
 I really do.

369
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,920
 I owe a lot of my surviving to a loving God, okay, the steps, the toss ups, and the traditions

370
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,920
 of alcoholics anonymous as well.

371
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,920
 And if you would have told me something would have happened this way, I would have told

372
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:20,920
 you, no, you're crazy.

373
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:21,920
 It won't happen now.

374
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,120
 I was minding my own business, really was minding my own business.

375
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:28,880
 And I got an email from a young lady, nice lady, and we started corresponding.

376
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,440
 Okay, now we're dating.

377
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:35,460
 And it's totally different because at times, a relationship like that can scare me, okay.

378
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:39,560
 She is very, very smart, for one, and I hate smart women.

379
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,560
 Okay.

380
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,000
 And she's very presentable, okay.

381
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:47,360
 And I want to put a penitent on her, okay, but that's not her style, okay.

382
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:52,080
 She goes, if you want to meet me, and sometimes people have a voice and you hear that voice,

383
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,080
 okay.

384
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,200
 I live at this one place where I go on Sunday morning, if you want to meet.

385
00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,600
 So me, my ego, I said, I'll show you, I showed up and I saw her coming, I go, we're in the

386
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,600
 tracks, okay.

387
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,520
 It was a very good, nice attraction, and we've been going out ever since, you know, and we're

388
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,520
 going on seven months of our relationship now.

389
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,400
 And she doesn't take my crap, that's one thing good about Christine.

390
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,520
 She doesn't take my crap.

391
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,800
 She doesn't have a program.

392
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,440
 She doesn't have Alan on in her life, but one thing that she has, she has a very strong

393
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:21,920
 Christian faith and a God of her understanding, and she's presented that to me.

394
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:26,440
 It's different, okay, it's different, but it's been very rewarding for me, you know,

395
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,640
 because I always think about my third step when I took it to make that decision and turn

396
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,440
 my life to a care of God in my understanding.

397
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,640
 But it was, to me, it wasn't strong enough, okay.

398
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,500
 This has enhanced my sobriety as well.

399
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:44,000
 The faith is showing me, the people that have been introduced to me from her parish, and

400
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,360
 it's been different, you know.

401
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,440
 I never thought I would get sober, for one.

402
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:51,040
 I never thought I would end up in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I never thought I'd be going

403
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,760
 to a church on Sundays, okay, but all these things that have happened for me, I still

404
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:55,760
 get that today.

405
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:56,760
 Why do you do it?

406
00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,320
 You know, and it's been by the examples of the old timers that have shown me a better

407
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,320
 way of living.

408
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:06,360
 And a guy named Jim, Jim Bath from the Pacific group, I had to go speak at the Balboa Park

409
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:10,640
 one year, and it was 105, and he wanted, they wanted me to wear a suit and tie, and I said,

410
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:11,640
 "You guys crazy?

411
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,040
 It's too hot to wear a suit and tie."

412
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,080
 And Jim says, "Would you do it any different for us?"

413
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,080
 I go, "No."

414
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,080
 He said, "Then you go in the suit and tie."

415
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:22,320
 And I go off out of that park soap, you know, but that's the stuff that I've been doing

416
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,360
 in my sobriety all these years.

417
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,600
 I haven't changed much, okay.

418
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,800
 I've got more gray hair than anything else that's changing me.

419
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:34,520
 When I came to this group, I had black hair, and I had a lot more than this, you know,

420
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,560
 and it's thinning out, you know.

421
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,640
 I'm glad I'm alive today, I'll put it down.

422
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:42,920
 I'm very grateful that I get up every morning and I'm breathing, okay, and I have another

423
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,920
 day of living because I don't know when that earthquake's coming, you know, I have no clue

424
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,680
 when it's gonna show up, you know, and I'm gonna go see the doctor May 1st for a second

425
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,720
 opinion and I truly believe that there is a solution out there that I can stick around

426
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:55,720
 here a little longer.

427
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:56,720
 I believe that, okay.

428
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:01,320
 And I think through loving God that he is showing me a way of accepting things that

429
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,320
 I don't want to accept.

430
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,480
 That's the best way I can put it.

431
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,640
 There's a lot of acceptance going on in my life today, you know.

432
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,920
 Someone asked me, "Did I have any fear?"

433
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,400
 And I says, "No, I don't have fear."

434
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:15,440
 I don't have fear, okay, because some time ago, I forget how many years it was, I was

435
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:19,120
 going through a procedure for a stent procedure in my heart and I went into cold blue and

436
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:23,220
 they lost me for 45 seconds, okay, and I went through the gray tunnel into the bright light

437
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:24,800
 and I've experienced that.

438
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,440
 But I want you to know something that Bruce reminded me of something when I first got

439
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,440
 here.

440
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,440
 We can walk through anything in sobriety.

441
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:31,840
 I don't care what it is.

442
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:32,840
 We can walk through anything.

443
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:37,180
 I had 45 days of sobriety at that time and I had gotten beaten up in a robbery attempt

444
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:41,840
 by three individuals hit with a claw hammer 38 times, crowbar, fire extinguisher straight

445
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,840
 in my face, okay, and I took a beating for, I don't know what, for $2.

446
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:46,840
 That's what it was.

447
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,420
 And that was on a Tuesday night.

448
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:52,400
 It was book study that night and a week later, I was at the men's stag meeting looking like

449
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:57,240
 Popeye and my sponsor says, "You know, there is a solution to this problem, to your feelings

450
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:58,240
 about it.

451
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,400
 There's a living solution to the problem."

452
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,560
 I go, "Oh yeah, what is it, Steve?

453
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:01,560
 I want to hear it."

454
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,320
 He says, "You need to pray for them for 90 days."

455
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,320
 I go, "Are you crazy?"

456
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,080
 You know, and he says, "Well, look what you've done over the years.

457
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,080
 They've prayed for you."

458
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,480
 But I was willing to do it, to forgive those individuals for 90 days.

459
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,560
 And it was the hardest thing I've ever done in sobriety.

460
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,200
 It has to be number one up there.

461
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,200
 It's the hardest thing.

462
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,200
 And I had to forgive it.

463
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,040
 I saw that my son had to forgive it because he got hit too.

464
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,800
 And what gathered me through that whole process was the men at licensed session.

465
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,840
 They're the ones that got me through it and the women as well.

466
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,440
 But if it wasn't for the guys at that group, I don't know if I'd be sitting here tonight.

467
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,440
 I really don't believe that.

468
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,840
 You know, and I say that we can walk through anything.

469
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,560
 I don't care what it is.

470
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,440
 I'm testimony to that.

471
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,240
 And I don't have any resentments over that situation.

472
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,280
 I don't have any anger or anything like that.

473
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,240
 But I know that I've been blessed to be alive.

474
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,240
 That's the bottom line.

475
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,240
 I've been blessed.

476
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,720
 I've been overpaid in my sobriety.

477
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:53,880
 I've been very overpaid, you know, and I still keep doing the things I've been taught in

478
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,160
 my first year of sobriety.

479
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:59,200
 Still going to meetings, still getting commitments, still calling my sponsor three times a week.

480
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:04,560
 That hasn't changed in 31 years, you know, and I don't know what lies they had for all

481
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,560
 you folks, the newcomers, especially the newcomers, you know.

482
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:12,080
 The only thing I can tell you is that if you want what we have, just keep doing what we're

483
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,080
 doing.

484
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,080
 There's a lot of good examples in this room.

485
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,080
 I know.

486
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,080
 I've seen them.

487
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,800
 I've seen them in other groups as well, the examples that are enhanced my sobriety as

488
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:20,800
 well.

489
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,880
 And I'm so blessed to have met the Clancy Eye when he's showing me what kind of idiot

490
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:28,480
 I was to bring that out to me, you know, Tom Bichard is my sponsor now.

491
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:29,560
 And Tom is a good man.

492
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:30,840
 He's a good role model for me.

493
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,120
 I like what Tom does.

494
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:36,400
 I like how he carries himself in the meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and he's not afraid

495
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:37,900
 to call me on my stuff.

496
00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:38,900
 He's a good man.

497
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:42,160
 He sponsors 50 guys and I don't know how he does it, but he does.

498
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,160
 Okay.

499
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,100
 And Karen, thank you for calling on me.

500
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:48,080
 I've always stayed in contact with somebody here from this group.

501
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,800
 I'll show up periodically for a meeting.

502
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:50,800
 I'll be back here.

503
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,800
 I know in July they're here.

504
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:52,800
 Theresa F speed.

505
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,920
 And, you know, I love the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

506
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,320
 I never thought I'd get to say those words because I always ask the old timer, how do

507
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,320
 you get there?

508
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,320
 How do you get there?

509
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,320
 You know, don't drink it, don't die.

510
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:07,520
 And you'll learn how to get there, you know, and I think I've found that on after 30.

511
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,400
 So thanks for having me here tonight.