1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,900 - Hi, my name's Craig and I'm an alcoholic. 2 00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:05,460 First off, I'd like to thank Karen for inviting me out 3 00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:07,340 to your wonderful meeting here. 4 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,220 Quality of life, quality of life. 5 00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:11,500 Even in harmony. 6 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:14,380 Welcome to all the Zoom people to see you out there. 7 00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:16,740 Do the meetings any way we can, right? 8 00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:18,060 Welcome to all the newcomers 9 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:21,260 and all the returning warriors who went out there. 10 00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:24,100 Again, I find some of those themselves. 11 00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:26,100 I just want to try real quick. 12 00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:29,980 First of all, the day is 11/10/1996. 13 00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:33,780 My first arriving date was February 1st, 1992. 14 00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:35,900 And my sponsor is Randy Melton. 15 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:39,420 My homie was opposite of San Angeles. 16 00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:42,420 I grew up in a beautiful San Fernando Valley. 17 00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:46,980 And, you know, I come from Irish and Scottish, 18 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,700 which means nothing to being an alcoholic. 19 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,340 As you know, it comes with me. 20 00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:55,780 But my family tree is, it's all over the place. 21 00:00:55,780 --> 00:00:59,220 My grandmother, my grandmother, blah, blah, blah, my dad. 22 00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:02,300 It's just alcoholism brings through my family. 23 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:06,100 But I have five sisters and I'm the only boy. 24 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,620 And none of my sisters have one. 25 00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,380 I'm just the last one. 26 00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:13,660 And, you know, because of divorce and, you know, 27 00:01:13,660 --> 00:01:14,780 this, that, and the other. 28 00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:17,540 You know, I grew up in 15 different places. 29 00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:21,160 My catan was 18 when I went to the Navy. 30 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,420 So when I smell fresh paint, it reminds me of that. 31 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:25,660 I went to three elementary schools, 32 00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:27,860 two junior highs, three high schools, 33 00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:30,700 and just, just awesomely moving. 34 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:34,780 And, you know, I was being the new kid, you know, 35 00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:36,300 there was always fighting and bullying. 36 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:37,860 You talked about the stuttering. 37 00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:40,220 It was, I was, you know, short and thin. 38 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,280 And it was, it seemed to be fighting. 39 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:46,340 And, you know, and then going home and dealing with that. 40 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,820 It was fighting and drinking. 41 00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:51,380 And my first drunk, first drunk, not my first drink, 42 00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:53,580 my first drunk was 1972. 43 00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:54,820 I was about nine years old. 44 00:01:54,820 --> 00:01:58,360 And my government lost to Nixon in the presidential race. 45 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,460 And because we were poor and in welfare, 46 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:04,180 Nixon being a Republican was going to cut all the welfare 47 00:02:04,180 --> 00:02:06,420 and we were going to be, you know, restarted. 48 00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:08,820 So the family decided to celebrate 49 00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:11,020 and everyone got drinking, including me. 50 00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:14,880 And it was, I don't know if that started it, 51 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,500 but that's the way it is. 52 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:20,660 And, you know, I moved, moving around and stuff. 53 00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:25,620 I met with my boys, you know, love, love sports, 54 00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:28,820 love play sports, love baseball, everything about it. 55 00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:32,460 And, you know, when, when, when it was going on, you know, 56 00:02:32,460 --> 00:02:33,900 that's what, that's what I'm going to do. 57 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,060 I'm going to be a baseball player. 58 00:02:35,060 --> 00:02:35,880 That's my thing. 59 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,700 And I would practice, throw the ball. 60 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,700 No one would throw without throwing the ball. 61 00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,820 It was going to be my goal. 62 00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:46,180 And, you know, I was getting cut out at doing this the other. 63 00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:49,580 And, you know, I forget one day there was, 64 00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:51,740 I was hanging out with the other guys, 65 00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:54,340 what those baseball players, but with the other guys 66 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,760 and you know, Hey, right. 67 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,020 You know, you're new to this school once you try this. 68 00:02:58,020 --> 00:02:59,860 And so I'm smoking weed and I drink it. 69 00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:02,940 And that's, you know, it kind of shuts off the noise 70 00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:05,500 of the yelling and say like this, you know, 71 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:07,780 I've gone and just kind of cruise right along. 72 00:03:07,780 --> 00:03:09,860 And, you know, the next thing you know, 73 00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:12,420 a couple of things happen and me and my dad get into it. 74 00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:15,820 And, you know, I'm no longer going to high school. 75 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:20,820 Now, so my good grades, the baseball, the best country, 76 00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:25,420 the track went away and went to hanging out with my guys. 77 00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:27,020 We're hanging with the cards, you know, 78 00:03:27,020 --> 00:03:28,420 cruising around on this boat. 79 00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:32,700 And, you know, fixing up the pub, fixing up the shovel, 80 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,180 you know, just great times. 81 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:37,460 And it was my job to go steal the alcohol 82 00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:38,460 from the liquor store. 83 00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:39,820 And I would go steal this stuff. 84 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:43,720 I can't believe it was bad, but the kimchaka vodka. 85 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:47,660 I'd go over the back and I'd take it and grab two bottles. 86 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,060 Right, but that wasn't enough. 87 00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:51,980 One was for me and everyone else gets one, you know. 88 00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:55,140 And so I would buy the orange juice, right. 89 00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:57,620 And then I'd accidentally spill all the orange juice. 90 00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:59,700 The only thing left was one vodka. 91 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,780 Guys, you want to hit in the vodka, you know, 92 00:04:01,780 --> 00:04:02,620 they would drink it. 93 00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,240 I would slam that vodka, I love it. 94 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,500 That was my trick. 95 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:10,740 And, you know, because of drinking and staying up late 96 00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:12,460 and, you know, next thing you know, 97 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,860 I got cut from the baseball team. 98 00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:16,180 I got cut from that team. 99 00:04:16,180 --> 00:04:18,060 And I don't need that anymore. 100 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:21,740 You know, I'm cruising, chasing girls, I'm surfing. 101 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:23,940 I got all the same with things going on. 102 00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:26,140 And my grades just plummeted. 103 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:29,340 And, you know, I think I'm not positive, 104 00:04:29,340 --> 00:04:31,620 but I'd have to go to school or I had to work 105 00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:34,100 at the Holiday Inn Saturday and get extra credit 106 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:37,380 to get the pass, the graduate high school. 107 00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:39,860 And once I graduated high school, I went right to the Navy. 108 00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:41,480 You know, there was a chance for me 109 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,140 to join this great gang called C-14. 110 00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:46,820 You know, they were just ruthless back there in the valley. 111 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,620 You know, I'm a white guy. 112 00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:50,080 They didn't really want me there. 113 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,300 But, you know, I was able to steal this, that, and the other. 114 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:53,700 I'm like, you know, I'm going to go to jail. 115 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:54,740 I got to get out. 116 00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:57,260 So I drove in the Navy and off I went. 117 00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:59,780 I mean, I got hammered in Singapore. 118 00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:03,840 I took acid in my spade off, almost got lost there. 119 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,500 I drank Sandoval beer in the Philippines. 120 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,300 I mean, I loved being in the Navy. 121 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,820 I loved drinking. 122 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:12,500 You know, my job was to have bombs and missiles. 123 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:16,140 So, you know, drink beer and load bombs was a blow up. 124 00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:19,800 And I loved everything I did, you know, 125 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,420 chasing all the girls around. 126 00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:23,940 And, you know, I started getting a little trouble 127 00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:27,500 here and there with the UA, and they'd write me up 128 00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,500 and they'd put me on restriction. 129 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,940 Put me on nights, put me on nights. 130 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:36,220 If I'm working nights, you know, I won't get in trouble. 131 00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:37,860 You know, when they work nights, they wouldn't do it. 132 00:05:37,860 --> 00:05:39,900 And maybe during the days at night, 133 00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:42,620 I would go and hit the bar and I'd love to be in the bar. 134 00:05:42,620 --> 00:05:47,380 You know, when I got out of the Navy for four years, 135 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,220 I was kind of lost. 136 00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:52,140 I was up in the Bay Area and I didn't really love it there. 137 00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:55,500 And he hooked me up with this great job with his company, 138 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,180 but it just wasn't enough for me. 139 00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:59,780 I mean, I can't sit at a workbench 140 00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:01,820 soldering electrical office. 141 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,260 You know, my head is gone. 142 00:06:03,260 --> 00:06:04,500 I got to go do things. 143 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,180 I got, I got to see people. 144 00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:08,980 I got to, you know, I left that job to become a cab driver. 145 00:06:08,980 --> 00:06:11,860 And so here I'm doing the night shift on the cab, 146 00:06:11,860 --> 00:06:14,420 dropping acid, smoking weed, drinking. 147 00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:19,140 Well, I'm driving and, you know, not realizing, you know, 148 00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:21,820 that I'm not normal than my fellows. 149 00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:24,220 You know, I see, you know, I think about the waiters, 150 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,700 the waiters, the waitresses and the waiters at the, 151 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:27,700 you know, at the Lions. 152 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:29,340 And, you know, they didn't drink like I did. 153 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:31,020 They knew how to stop. 154 00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,660 And I'm like, we're just getting going. 155 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,060 I'm just shifting gears. 156 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,780 But every once in a while, I couldn't get out of, 157 00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:38,540 you know, I couldn't get out of third gear. 158 00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:40,860 And I'm just, you know, just going to try 159 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:42,340 and drink a little bit of water tonight. 160 00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:44,300 I'm not going to have that other wine. 161 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:46,020 What kind of fun is that? 162 00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:49,500 But I go on and I eventually left that bar, 163 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,900 that cab drive, cab job. 164 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:54,140 And I got a job in a nightclub. 165 00:06:54,140 --> 00:06:56,260 I became a lawyer and started off in a farm. 166 00:06:56,260 --> 00:07:00,300 I went to the farm, and working there was so much fun. 167 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,900 If you're an alcohol, and you're working in a bar, 168 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,340 I mean, it is everything, let me tell you. 169 00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:06,780 And we did everything. 170 00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:09,820 We would take the bar, throw it in the air, catch it. 171 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,780 I was in bartending competitions. 172 00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,860 That movie "Cocktail" came out. 173 00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:15,700 We were already doing all those tricks. 174 00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,620 I mean, just having a blast. 175 00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:19,580 We'd have a dog drink night. 176 00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:21,980 I mean, every night was a one big party. 177 00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:25,860 And, you know, I couldn't stay in a successful relationship, 178 00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:27,540 you know, being in the wine restaurant. 179 00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:31,980 But one day, one day she walked in, sparks that in. 180 00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:33,540 But I remember deep down thinking, 181 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,820 you know what, I'm a loser. 182 00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:38,300 This girl, there's no way that I can do this to her. 183 00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:40,660 You know, I gotta keep her distance. 184 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,580 All the other girls I didn't really care about, 185 00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:44,020 you know, they didn't care about me. 186 00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:45,060 But this one, I'm like, you know what, 187 00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:47,620 I can't take her down my route. 188 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:50,540 And she's like, no, Greg, Greg, I love you. 189 00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:51,700 You know, you don't understand. 190 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,460 No, you don't understand. 191 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:55,860 Yeah, you don't love me, you don't know. 192 00:07:55,860 --> 00:07:57,220 I didn't know who I was. 193 00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:59,820 And, you know, she kept coming. 194 00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:02,140 And so, you know, eventually we got married. 195 00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:05,140 And, you know, remember, you know, we're at the altar, 196 00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:07,500 and the priest and everything, and I'm trying. 197 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,260 I'm putting the ring on her finger. 198 00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:10,540 I'm trying to get that ring on. 199 00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:11,740 So I get this ring on. 200 00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:14,500 I'll be able to do this without getting drank every night. 201 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:15,780 That's my issue. 202 00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:18,620 If I make this paper into the basket over there, 203 00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,700 like everything's gonna be okay, then I would think. 204 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,940 And, you know, working in the bar and next thing you know, 205 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:27,180 I wake up and, you know, come on around thinking. 206 00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:29,020 I fall out of bed basically, you know, 207 00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,460 'cause I can't go and get a new master. 208 00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:32,380 And next thing I'm gonna pee in the dresser. 209 00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:35,500 And you gotta go to AA, just like your dad. 210 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,420 That's where my first granddaddy came. 211 00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:39,660 But she's like, I don't want to be with you 212 00:08:39,660 --> 00:08:40,820 when you go do this. 213 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,060 My grandfather was an alcoholic or anyone. 214 00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:44,500 I don't want to, what, hang out. 215 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,100 So I'm gonna go stay with some friends and you go get me. 216 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:48,540 So you go get it together. 217 00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:50,620 And mine's, you know, what? 218 00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:53,500 I'm gonna go to AA, why you, you know, do this. 219 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,060 So I'm going to AA, and I'm, you know, 220 00:08:55,060 --> 00:08:57,540 I have to get something, okay. 221 00:08:57,540 --> 00:09:00,180 These guys can say, I can do it. 222 00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:02,420 And you know, 'cause being in the bar, 223 00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:05,260 we would, you know, sink in a mile, you know, 224 00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:07,100 we're drinking tequila, you know. 225 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:10,620 Thanksgiving, we're drinking turkey one-on-one, you know. 226 00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:12,860 December 7th, we're drinking Kamikazes. 227 00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:15,100 I mean, I was all in drinking. 228 00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:19,140 I loved everything that I wanted to get, everything. 229 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:22,100 Call on bulldogs, all the drugs, you know, shots, 230 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:22,940 all that stuff. 231 00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:27,260 And she went away and I'm starting to go to the meetings 232 00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:28,860 and I'm starting to catch something. 233 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,500 I did the steps real quick, right on the wall, 234 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,420 you know, right there. 235 00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:32,740 Okay, I'm good, good to go. 236 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,860 So then we get 30 days, I call up. 237 00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:37,500 I'm like, "Hey, Miles, you got 30 days. 238 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,500 Can you believe it? 239 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,740 I'm 30 days sober. 240 00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:42,020 Can you believe me getting 30 days sober?" 241 00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:45,260 She's like, "Greg, you gotta get sober for you, not for us." 242 00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:47,020 I hang up the phone, and I went out, 243 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,860 double the corny cokes, my buddy Ray, "Let's go, Greg." 244 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:53,020 I'm like, "It's not working today, I can't get drunk. 245 00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:54,140 What is going on?" 246 00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:57,900 And that went on after that, see, that was '92. 247 00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,260 After that, you know, a whole new way. 248 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:05,260 I can't tell you what happened in my life in '92 until '95. 249 00:10:05,260 --> 00:10:07,900 It's just one bit, you know, every once in a while, 250 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,580 I hope like a peel off the onion would come. 251 00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:13,180 And I remember what happened that year, and I don't. 252 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,780 The Yankees won, the Yankees won, 253 00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:16,940 the Yankees just couldn't get it. 254 00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:19,580 And my grandmother, you know, 255 00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:22,020 I started to come out, got it bartended. 256 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:24,940 This one place, I make bagels at this other place. 257 00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:27,460 It was like, you know, it's basically, 258 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,700 and then I was up in the Bay Area, 259 00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,100 and my grandmother had a stroke. 260 00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:30,940 I'm like, "You know what? 261 00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:32,660 I'm gonna move down to Los Angeles, 262 00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:36,060 and help out the family, and be with my grandmother." 263 00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:38,140 You know, I come down here, and, you know, 264 00:10:38,140 --> 00:10:41,620 trying to play nurse with no, you know, experience, 265 00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:43,780 just, you know, love, and help. 266 00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:45,740 I'm not the best I could, and I'm drinking. 267 00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:48,180 And, you know, my life just seemed like, wow, 268 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,500 I was running one of the hottest nightclubs 269 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,780 in the Bay Area now. 270 00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:53,860 I'm sleeping on my grandmother's couch, 271 00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:56,620 and her cat hates me, and I'm changing diapers. 272 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,900 What happened to my life? 273 00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,460 You know, I went to the forest, 274 00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:03,300 and I'm a big loser, that's what I've become. 275 00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,740 And I'm like, "You know what? 276 00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:06,340 If I can just get another bartending job," 277 00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:08,580 'cause I got fired from those other jobs. 278 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,940 You know, I became a car salesman, 279 00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:12,340 trying to get this, and, you know, 280 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:13,660 working at a gym membership. 281 00:11:13,660 --> 00:11:15,500 I mean, I went for one job after another, 282 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,660 and I just couldn't find it. 283 00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:18,900 And, but I would go to this one bar in Glendale 284 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,420 called the Blue Movement, and, you know, 285 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:22,300 I put everything on my credit card, 286 00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,620 max everything out, not caring. 287 00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:26,780 And one day, I'm driving, 288 00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:29,540 and two favorite cars show up, red and blue. 289 00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:32,380 I think those lights, I'm like, "Oh, my God." 290 00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:34,980 Usually, when I jump into my car, 291 00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:37,700 I'd pull down the windows, I wouldn't smoke any cigarettes, 292 00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,940 and I'd put sunflower seeds in my mouth. 293 00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:42,860 So when I talked to the cop, he would smell the alcohol, 294 00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,260 and he couldn't tell if I was swimming 295 00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:46,060 because I'm spitting out seeds, right? 296 00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:50,180 It programmed off, and I forgot to roll down the windows. 297 00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:52,460 I forgot the seeds, and I'm smoking a cigarette, 298 00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:55,220 and I'm like, "Yeah, there's, yeah, this one." 299 00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:57,860 And so, he pulls me up, and he goes, 300 00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:58,900 "What do you have to drink?" 301 00:11:58,900 --> 00:11:59,740 I'm like, "You got me." 302 00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:00,580 He goes, "What?" 303 00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:02,140 I'm like, "Yeah." 304 00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:03,220 And he's like, "What are you talking about? 305 00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,060 "What do you have to drink?" 306 00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:05,380 I'm like, "Oh, I have Kamikaze. 307 00:12:05,380 --> 00:12:07,340 "He's two little giraffes and a shot of yogurt." 308 00:12:07,340 --> 00:12:08,700 He's like, "Well, get out of the car." 309 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:10,780 I was like, "Okay, you gotta do the test." 310 00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:12,340 I'm like, "You know, you got me. 311 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,180 "Let's just go. 312 00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:14,020 "Let's just go. 313 00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:14,860 "Take me in." 314 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,420 He says, "Make me do the test." 315 00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:20,220 I go into the, I go to the jail at a time, 'cause at this 316 00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:22,460 time, I'm selling next day on phones, right? 317 00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:24,140 I'm gonna be a salesman for a second, and I'm trying 318 00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:27,820 to hang myself on the handle inside the cell. 319 00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:30,860 I made it too long, and I kept on landing on my ass. 320 00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:35,460 It didn't work, and, you know, now, no. 321 00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:39,340 I just hope, I'm gonna take my license, my registration. 322 00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:40,900 All of that is gone. 323 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,500 You know, what can I do? 324 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:47,060 I go to the court, and the judge is looking at me. 325 00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:49,140 I got five people over there. 326 00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:52,940 You know, "Hey, Bill, you know, you're gonna take 327 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:56,740 "alcohol class and, you know, a week of AA. 328 00:12:56,740 --> 00:13:01,380 "Nicole, you're gonna take alcohol class and two weeks 329 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:02,220 "of AA. 330 00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:05,900 "Mr. Stewart, you're gonna have alcohol class and 87 days 331 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:06,740 "of AA." 332 00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:08,340 I'm like, "87 days? 333 00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:09,420 "Why 87? 334 00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:12,380 "How could Mr. Stewart, you're gonna have 100 days 335 00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:15,220 "of AA," and I'm like, "Whatever, whatever." 336 00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:16,580 You know, my life is over. 337 00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:17,980 I can't, no. 338 00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:21,020 Moving down to LA, so I'm like, "What is?" 339 00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:25,220 And he goes, "Not only, you can't go into an establishment 340 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:28,820 "unless they serve 60% food more than they do alcohol." 341 00:13:28,820 --> 00:13:29,660 What is that? 342 00:13:29,660 --> 00:13:31,180 I can't go to the blue room anymore? 343 00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:34,180 What, do peanuts and boiled eggs count? 344 00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:35,660 No, no, none of that. 345 00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:37,860 And so now I can't go to the blue room. 346 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:41,900 And I'm thinking AA people, and follow the area. 347 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:45,300 Just see if I'm going to the bar or what. 348 00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,980 And you know, life is over. 349 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:50,580 Now I can't drink, I can't do this. 350 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,260 And I start going to these alcohol classes, right? 351 00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:55,900 And I'm in the alcohol class, and we're all there. 352 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:58,060 We're the same, you know, that, that, that. 353 00:13:58,060 --> 00:14:01,820 And the beautiful counselor Bernadette is telling me, 354 00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:04,700 "Hey Greg, I have this 20 questions for you to fill out. 355 00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:07,780 "Come on, let's do this bullshit." 356 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:08,700 Excuse my French. 357 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,020 So I'm, you know, no, no, no, no. 358 00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:12,220 You know, the 20 questions. 359 00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:15,340 At the end I turn them in, and I'm just sitting there. 360 00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:18,500 She goes, "Oh, look, look at this, wow. 361 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:21,260 "Congratulations, you got an all nose. 362 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,820 "That's so great, so happy for you. 363 00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:26,440 "Greg, is this like some high school test 364 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,980 "that you're cheating at again? 365 00:14:27,980 --> 00:14:31,220 "You know, you were never truthful in high school, right? 366 00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:32,900 "You're always lying and cheating." 367 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,540 She caught me on this too. 368 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,180 And it was like, it was like a big rock landed on. 369 00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:38,700 Like everything was over. 370 00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:42,820 I can't even BS this counselor with the 20 questions. 371 00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:44,380 And I'm like, "You know what? 372 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,380 "That's right, I'm one big loser. 373 00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:47,700 "I have nothing going on. 374 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,860 "All my, I'm in complete debt. 375 00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:50,820 "Everything is done." 376 00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:54,060 And I'm like, "You know, let's just, let's go, hey, hey. 377 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,140 "Let's just do this." 378 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:59,420 And so started going to, started going to Radford. 379 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,620 And at Radford, it was a candlelight meeting 380 00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:02,580 that I loved going to. 381 00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:05,220 It was from 10 o'clock at night till like 12. 382 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:07,660 And at that meeting, it kept me from going to the bar. 383 00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:09,180 I loved bar life. 384 00:15:09,180 --> 00:15:10,020 Loved all of it. 385 00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:12,580 And I'm like, "This will keep me from doing that." 386 00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:16,020 And so, you know, my buddy Thomas Murphy 387 00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:18,100 and his brother, Mike Murphy. 388 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:22,060 And, you know, he, yeah, you tell me how to wash cups 389 00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:24,340 and ashtrays and take out the trash. 390 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,620 I'm like, "Hey, Thomas, you know, I was in the Navy. 391 00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:28,180 "I know how to do all of that. 392 00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:29,700 "I know that life, you know. 393 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:31,080 "Don't teach me how to wash cups. 394 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,860 "I was washing for 5,000 men." 395 00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:34,580 You go, "Greg, Greg, Greg, slow down. 396 00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,260 "You gotta learn to listen in this place 397 00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:37,180 "if you wanna make it." 398 00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:39,100 I'm like, "Okay, you got something small. 399 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:40,880 "Put the soap in the way you want it, 400 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,380 "even though it's wrong up there." 401 00:15:42,380 --> 00:15:45,620 So, you know, that started my, you know, 402 00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:47,700 getting commitment today. 403 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:50,260 You know, like I said, my sobriety date is 11/10. 404 00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:53,100 I wanted to go, "Oh, it'd be cool to have a sobriety date." 405 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:55,060 11/11, which is Veterans Day. 406 00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:57,520 And I'm like, "Greg, don't mess any of this stuff up. 407 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,660 "Just take what God has given you." 408 00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:03,220 And, you know, when we started going around the rooms 409 00:16:03,220 --> 00:16:06,640 and sharing and being as one, 410 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,120 working with each other afterwards, 411 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,700 we would go to the sit-ins and sit around 412 00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,100 and talk and talk. 413 00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:14,380 It was just, it was a great new life that I had. 414 00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:15,780 I had no money, you know? 415 00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:18,340 I, you know, I spent, I tapped out. 416 00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,420 I have no insurance on my car. 417 00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:22,780 My license is taken away. 418 00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:24,140 You name it. 419 00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:28,100 I'm driving my Honda CRX with three spark plugs 420 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:30,500 and, you know, doing this. 421 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:31,900 That's why I'm like, "I don't care." 422 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:32,980 You know, "I don't care about life. 423 00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,680 "You guys took everything from me 424 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,280 "and now you gotta go to these AA meetings, 425 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,800 "but I'm gonna drop my car on Karen. 426 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:38,880 "I don't care if you take it away. 427 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,720 "I really, I get pulled over on Karen. 428 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:41,940 "I have no tax on this." 429 00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:44,660 And, you know, going to the, going to the meetings, 430 00:16:44,660 --> 00:16:48,220 slowly, slowly, you know, listening to all you guys, 431 00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:50,500 you know, tell me what I'm gonna do to fix my life. 432 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,540 And, you know, I see that God thing up there on the wall, 433 00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:54,460 and I'm like, "Really? 434 00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:55,300 "God? 435 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:56,860 "I'm gonna do that kind of thing now?" 436 00:16:56,860 --> 00:16:58,980 It's kind of like a cold-type church thing. 437 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:02,380 And, you know, I, all those times of getting super calm, 438 00:17:02,380 --> 00:17:04,380 you know, when you're laying on that bathroom tile 439 00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:06,020 in the bathroom and you're shaking 440 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,560 and you're praying, going, "God, I'll never drink again. 441 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,060 "I promise I got this. 442 00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:10,900 "I won't." 443 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,580 And then do it again. 444 00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:14,460 What happened to that promise you made to God? 445 00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:15,900 I'm like, "You guys don't understand. 446 00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,720 "I can't pray to your God 447 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,860 "because I broke all of His promises. 448 00:17:19,860 --> 00:17:22,080 "I broke all of His commandments. 449 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,700 "I, you know, I cheated on her. 450 00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,200 "You know, I stole from Him. 451 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,080 "I lied to my mom and dad. 452 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,540 "You are not coming into my life, you know? 453 00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:33,420 "I'm not across your bridge, there's no way." 454 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,360 And in my first response, she says, 455 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:39,140 "You know, just slow down with your anxiety there." 456 00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:41,700 I'm like, "No, just believe in it now. 457 00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:45,320 "Just take the cup of coffee and sit down and drink it 458 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,300 "and be okay with it and walk through the steps." 459 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:52,540 And, you know, being 34, divorced and drink, 460 00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:56,580 I had no time and effort to get in relationship 461 00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:57,700 with any of the ladies. 462 00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:01,580 And thank God for that because all my other buddies, 463 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:02,940 you know, they're dating. 464 00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:06,180 Look, I can't, I can't. 465 00:18:06,180 --> 00:18:08,100 I gotta actually get sober, man. 466 00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:10,380 I gotta get my wife together. 467 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,660 This is insane what you guys are doing. 468 00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:13,700 I mean, that's great. 469 00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:15,740 I wanna do that too. 470 00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:17,600 Trust me, it's been a year and a half. 471 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,300 I'm going crazy, but I can't. 472 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,420 I need this sober life. 473 00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:24,540 And, you know, I didn't get along too well 474 00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:26,780 with that sponsor wanting to do stuff 475 00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:27,780 and I didn't wanna do it. 476 00:18:27,780 --> 00:18:29,420 And then, so I'm like, "You know what? 477 00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:32,020 "I gotta go and find another me." 478 00:18:32,020 --> 00:18:34,620 And so, you know, I went over to the hill 479 00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:36,100 to this place called the Marina Center. 480 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:37,460 The Marina Center was great. 481 00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,740 It taught me how to meditate. 482 00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:39,820 I never knew how to meditate. 483 00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:40,860 I couldn't sit still. 484 00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:43,260 And so I started learning to meditate in there 485 00:18:43,260 --> 00:18:47,020 and, you know, trying to find that thing in AA 486 00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:49,700 that would take that crank off my head, 487 00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:52,380 that would, you know, I had anger issues. 488 00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:55,460 I still have anger issues that I gotta suppress every day. 489 00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:58,460 You know, my wire's a little short in my head, I guess. 490 00:18:58,460 --> 00:19:01,860 And, you know, I wanted to find at the Marina Center 491 00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:04,260 that peace of mind, that people, they were happy. 492 00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:05,100 You know, they were happy. 493 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,940 Then from Marina Center, I went to the Roxbury Men's Stag. 494 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:09,300 You know, "Oh, go to a men's stag. 495 00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,260 "They're gonna teach me how to be a man." 496 00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:12,900 You know, 'cause I'm a jerk. 497 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,380 I don't know how to treat other people. 498 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:16,060 I don't know how to, you know, be nice. 499 00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:19,980 And then, you know, my buddy Dino told me, 500 00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:22,620 he goes, "Why don't you go over to this Pacific group place 501 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:23,900 "on Saturday, the yard?" 502 00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:24,740 I'm like, "The yard? 503 00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:26,260 "Okay, yeah, whatever." 504 00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:27,260 They got softball there. 505 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:28,180 I'm like, "Softball? 506 00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,620 "Play some softball? 507 00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:30,780 "Go play some softball." 508 00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:32,060 So I go over to the yard. 509 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:34,060 You know, I'm, you know, playing some softball. 510 00:19:34,060 --> 00:19:36,420 And the coach says to me, "Hey, you know, we got a team. 511 00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:37,420 "You wanna play on the team?" 512 00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:40,140 And these teams would go from San Diego 513 00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:43,340 to Santa Barbara to Pismo Beach playing all this softball. 514 00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:44,540 I'm like, "Yeah, I wanna be a part of that." 515 00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:46,020 He goes, "Well, you gotta come to Wednesday night." 516 00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:47,620 I'm like, "I can't do Wednesday night, man." 517 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,300 I go to the Roxbury Men's Stag. 518 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:50,140 I go Wednesday night. 519 00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:51,220 That's my meeting. 520 00:19:51,220 --> 00:19:52,260 Those are my guys. 521 00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:53,860 And he's like, "You gotta come Wednesday night." 522 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,100 And I go there Wednesday. 523 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:58,140 Let me tell you, I found some people all dressed up. 524 00:19:58,140 --> 00:20:00,820 I'm like, "But you gotta be kidding me, what is this? 525 00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:03,060 "What kind of cold is this?" 526 00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:07,260 And I hated that meeting, but I knew deep down 527 00:20:07,260 --> 00:20:08,740 that if you hate something, 528 00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:10,740 you gotta find out why you hate this. 529 00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:13,260 And so I'm praying, going to the meeting, 530 00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:16,220 and the last time I would leave, go to the next Wednesday, 531 00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:18,260 and the last time I leave, I'm getting softballed. 532 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,380 And, you know, was able to, you know, 533 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:22,580 get it together a little bit. 534 00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:25,180 You know, it took me, you know, in sobriety. 535 00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:28,420 There's a lot of jokes that I went through. 536 00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:29,700 I became a liquor salesman. 537 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:30,620 Can you believe it? 538 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:31,460 That I had to leave. 539 00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:34,860 You know, there was, you know, another car sales job, 540 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:38,060 a waiter job, a bar tending job, all the other. 541 00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:41,700 Before there was Uber, there was another cab driver job. 542 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:44,620 And, you know, it was just insane 543 00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:46,300 how I couldn't get it together. 544 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:47,620 And, you know, my sponsor says, 545 00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,260 "You know, keep trying, keep trying, 546 00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:51,220 "and something will come about." 547 00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:53,900 And, you know, I was able to meet up with a friend 548 00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:56,060 through softball, and I got a job, you know, 549 00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:58,620 working in the entertainment business shop, 550 00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:01,700 fixing this equipment, fixing electrical stuff, 551 00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:02,540 and doing that. 552 00:21:02,540 --> 00:21:04,380 And eventually he helped me, you know, 553 00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:07,940 study and get a Class A driver's license. 554 00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:10,300 You know, that was only through drag. 555 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:11,940 And working with you guys, you know, 556 00:21:11,940 --> 00:21:13,900 I couldn't believe that I got there. 557 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,900 That's one of the happiest days of my life, 558 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,180 that I was able to get that Class A license. 559 00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:19,860 And, you know, in the meantime, 560 00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:22,380 I was able to, you know, meet a new immigrant. 561 00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:25,380 And, you know, in my head, you know, 562 00:21:25,380 --> 00:21:28,260 you got two people on the same side of the teeter-totter, 563 00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:29,180 things that aren't gonna work. 564 00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:30,300 I mean, it's, you don't see it from me, 565 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:31,900 I'm just too crazy, and, you know, 566 00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:34,020 I need to balance, and, you know, 567 00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:37,820 with her I was, you know, she, we were so cool. 568 00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:39,580 One day we had like 75 cents, 569 00:21:39,580 --> 00:21:41,340 I was able to get a cup of coffee, 570 00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:43,820 and we sat on the beach, watching the sunset, 571 00:21:43,820 --> 00:21:47,140 and that was it, it was wonderful. 572 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,940 But through hard-working discipline, 573 00:21:48,940 --> 00:21:50,700 and I was able to get these different jobs, 574 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,340 and da-da-da-da-da-da, and, you know, 575 00:21:52,340 --> 00:21:54,980 I ended up marrying that beautiful woman. 576 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:58,940 We have three great kids today, and back in, 577 00:21:58,940 --> 00:22:02,300 a month ago, I was able to buy a house on Lancaster. 578 00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:04,780 And let me tell you, there is no way, no how, 579 00:22:04,780 --> 00:22:08,500 I'm getting any of those promises without you guys in AA, 580 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,220 you know, without me able to, you know, 581 00:22:11,220 --> 00:22:15,900 pray and listen to God, and, you know, believe in Him, 582 00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:17,580 even though I don't want to. 583 00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:20,900 Through hard-working and discipline, 584 00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:22,420 I was able to, you know, 585 00:22:22,420 --> 00:22:25,020 clear all the wreckage of my past with my credit. 586 00:22:25,020 --> 00:22:28,820 And, you know, the biggest thing with me was really, 587 00:22:28,820 --> 00:22:30,820 really digging into the big book, 588 00:22:30,820 --> 00:22:32,420 and reading and understanding, 589 00:22:32,420 --> 00:22:35,180 and realizing that the man that was talking to me, 590 00:22:35,180 --> 00:22:37,900 that I was going to believe, and it was going to come true, 591 00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,540 even though my head was saying, you know, 592 00:22:39,540 --> 00:22:41,580 that there's no way I'm going to get registration 593 00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:44,340 on the car, there's just, it ain't going to happen to me. 594 00:22:44,340 --> 00:22:46,140 You don't know who I am, and, you know, 595 00:22:46,140 --> 00:22:47,820 they walked me through it, they walked me through it, 596 00:22:47,820 --> 00:22:49,660 just keep coming back, just keep, 597 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:52,180 and I have been coming back, you know. 598 00:22:52,180 --> 00:22:55,300 When I had one year of sobriety, I went to that judge, 599 00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:58,300 and I told the judge who gave me the 100 days of AAI, 600 00:22:58,300 --> 00:23:01,180 I thank him, I'm like, thank you for sending me the AAI. 601 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:02,980 Then when I had five years, I went to him, 602 00:23:02,980 --> 00:23:04,300 and I thanked him again. 603 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,700 When I had 10 years, I went back, and he was gone, 604 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:08,700 and, you know, I made it, you know. 605 00:23:08,700 --> 00:23:10,540 I enjoyed drinking way too much, 606 00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:13,740 and the men and women in this program, 607 00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:16,900 you know, when I was gone and back from registration, 608 00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:18,700 and no insurance, and all that stuff, 609 00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:20,540 there was a guy by the name of Jimmy Sterman, 610 00:23:20,540 --> 00:23:22,420 Jimmy Sterman, but he was a little off, 611 00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:25,180 he was a older black gentleman, and he would sit there, 612 00:23:25,180 --> 00:23:27,380 and he would, when they asked him in the candlelight, 613 00:23:27,380 --> 00:23:29,900 they would raise their hand and share, and he would share, 614 00:23:29,900 --> 00:23:32,100 and he would just share chapter five, 615 00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:34,500 that's what he forbade him, that was my, 616 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:36,580 and everyone would be cheering and chatting him off, 617 00:23:36,580 --> 00:23:38,380 we'd all be fired up at the end of the meeting, 618 00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:40,340 'cause Jimmy shared, and Jimmy's saying, 619 00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:42,700 hey Greg, give me a ride, I'm like, give me a ride, 620 00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:45,260 you know, I could get in my car with a year. 621 00:23:45,260 --> 00:23:47,220 When he left, he goes, I'm just down the street there, 622 00:23:47,220 --> 00:23:49,900 and it's raining, right, and I get in the car, 623 00:23:49,900 --> 00:23:51,660 we're driving, I'm like, Jimmy, where do you let me go? 624 00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:53,340 He goes, yeah, yeah, just keep going down there. 625 00:23:53,340 --> 00:23:55,380 I'm like, okay, Jimmy, I'm like, man, you know, 626 00:23:55,380 --> 00:23:57,340 that commitment they gave me over there were, 627 00:23:57,340 --> 00:23:58,780 you know, now I gotta sweep the floor, 628 00:23:58,780 --> 00:24:00,580 I gotta do the cups, and dah, dah, dah, dah, 629 00:24:00,580 --> 00:24:02,220 and he's like, this too shall pass. 630 00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:03,300 I'm like, what, is that it? 631 00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:05,380 Okay, hey, this girl Karen, man, 632 00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:08,180 all she does is talk in the meeting, I can't listen, 633 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:10,820 'cause she's always saying some weird shit in my head, 634 00:24:10,820 --> 00:24:12,620 I, what's wrong with this girl Karen? 635 00:24:12,620 --> 00:24:14,200 Oh, this too shall pass, Greg. 636 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,860 I'm like, yeah, I can't get a job, 637 00:24:15,860 --> 00:24:18,420 you know, I'm just going off about all the things 638 00:24:18,420 --> 00:24:20,940 wrong in my life, and he's like, this too shall pass. 639 00:24:20,940 --> 00:24:23,220 I'm like, man, I gotta know, where do you live, by the way? 640 00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:26,020 And I'm, you know, I'm on the 170, and believe it or not, 641 00:24:26,020 --> 00:24:28,460 our two favorite colors show up, red and blue. 642 00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:31,060 I'm like, Jimmy, you have no idea 643 00:24:31,060 --> 00:24:33,860 what's gonna happen right now, I hope you're happy. 644 00:24:33,860 --> 00:24:35,740 I have no registration, dah, dah, dah, dah, 645 00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:38,140 with the cars being towed, I'm going to jail, 646 00:24:38,140 --> 00:24:40,360 and you're walking home, I hope you're happy. 647 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,020 This too shall pass. 648 00:24:42,020 --> 00:24:44,240 So I pull over, and the cop shows up, 649 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,020 and he's got the, it's pouring rain, 650 00:24:46,020 --> 00:24:48,900 he's got those damn bright lights in my face, 651 00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:51,500 and I'm like, yeah, I got the expired registration 652 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,260 right here, along with no license, 653 00:24:53,260 --> 00:24:55,500 and I'm taking this guy home from AA. 654 00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:56,900 He's like, oh, okay, let me, I'll be right back. 655 00:24:56,900 --> 00:24:59,200 He runs back to his car, I'm like, Jimmy, man, 656 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,260 it is over with, I'm really going down. 657 00:25:02,260 --> 00:25:04,300 And the cop comes back, and he's like, 658 00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:06,660 girl, here's your registration, you know, 659 00:25:06,660 --> 00:25:10,380 you, your license is expired, and I'm like, 660 00:25:10,380 --> 00:25:12,540 well, you know, officer, and he's like, 661 00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:14,500 hold on for a second, hey, you know what, 662 00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:16,420 drive safe, I gotta go, and he takes off, 663 00:25:16,420 --> 00:25:18,380 ran into his, girl called me, takes off, 664 00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:20,380 and I'm like, Jimmy, did you see that? 665 00:25:20,380 --> 00:25:22,040 Did you see what I just pulled off? 666 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,300 I did it, and I still got it, look at me, 667 00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:27,660 look at me, we're gonna be okay. 668 00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:29,780 And he's like, this too shall pass. 669 00:25:29,780 --> 00:25:32,320 And let me tell you, this too shall pass 670 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,380 has been a lifeline for me in my life in AA, 671 00:25:35,380 --> 00:25:38,420 because some days we got it, and some days we don't. 672 00:25:38,420 --> 00:25:41,460 I just was been working on a house this week 673 00:25:41,460 --> 00:25:43,420 where the electrical went bad this way, 674 00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:46,900 the gate didn't work this way, the transmission broke here, 675 00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:49,200 and I'm like, have I forgot how to fix things? 676 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,340 I can't fix anything, and you know, this too shall pass, 677 00:25:52,340 --> 00:25:54,540 there'll be another day when I'm gonna be able to get it, 678 00:25:54,540 --> 00:25:58,340 and you know, I'm blessed beyond my belief, 679 00:25:58,340 --> 00:26:02,460 I'm a lucky man, you know, I got a friend out 680 00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:05,240 in the desert right now who had 17 years and went out, 681 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,100 and you know, why is it when I do my prayer, 682 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,580 when I'm in love, service with others, 683 00:26:10,580 --> 00:26:12,220 things seem to be out in AA, 684 00:26:12,220 --> 00:26:13,980 so thank you so much for my life, 685 00:26:13,980 --> 00:26:16,060 and great meeting you, and thank you.