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 Good evening, my name is Tim and I'm an alcoholic. I'm glad to be here tonight with you, glad to be

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 sober. Ben, thanks for inviting me down. I've been sober since November 16th 1985 and for that I'm

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 really grateful and genuinely surprised honestly. You know and there's some great things that come

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 as a result of having the gift of sobriety for that long but there's another side to it too and

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 that means I'm getting older and I mean I applied for medicare last week and I just I couldn't

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 believe it you know I just couldn't believe it and my my first thought was was I didn't realize

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 it wouldn't take very long to get this old and then my second thought was well it's been a good

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 life you know I went from filling out the medicare application to planning my own funeral so my mind

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 uh well I thank Alex for his for his talk you know I don't know Alex and I don't share a lot

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 of things in common with him but I identified with everything that he said you know in alcoholics and

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 illness we speak a universal language and I certainly identified with the feelings that

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 he was expressing because I had exactly the same types of feelings you know I find you know as far

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 back as I can remember I just felt like I was a tormented and tortured soul with not having any

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 idea why I just I did not know why and then my feelings completely consumed and you know it's

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 they consume me to a level where my where I just became what my feelings were and I had no idea

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 that this dynamic was going on I didn't know that you know the more that I tried to figure out what

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 was going on with me I knew there was something that was terribly wrong with me that didn't seem

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 to be wrong with other people and the more that I tried to figure it out and the more I thought

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 about it the deeper I got into all of it and the more distant and disconnected I got from from you

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 and from the world around me and from the experiences of life I became increasingly confused

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 and frustrated and it manifested itself with a great deal of fear and uncertainty and feelings

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 of inadequacy and ultimately just a desperate loneliness and without seeing any possible

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 solution and you know I've been to uh you know really some time before I came to realize really

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 what the root of those problems were I thought it was a result of the very difficult and chaotic

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 childhood uh but it turns out that's not the case at all turns out that I believe that I've had

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 those feelings because I am completely and totally self-centered I just am that's my natural state

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 and you know one of the worst things about being self-centered is you're the last person to know

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 you can't see it you cannot see it and uh and it's just an insidious thing about the disease

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 of alcoholism and you know to me it's more like uh you know self-centeredness or self being

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 self-absorbed you know because I will literally think about how I feel every waking moment you

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 know left to my own devices and that I will act according to those feelings and the problem with

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 that is is that when I get so lost in myself that when I lose that connection with others

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 at least my sense of identity I lose my place in life and I don't really recognize exactly what's

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 going on around me my my perceptions of reality are just a little bit off because I've lost that

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 connection with others and uh you know we talk about that alcoholism being a disease of perception

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 that's what it means to me this is that I get so lost in myself that I just just I'm just missing

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 that just a little bit and uh and for me when I drank alcohol that goes away it all goes away

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 almost instantly from everything that I'm looking for that connectedness with others uh is available

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 to me almost instantly and uh my understanding of the disease of alcohol is really centered on that

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 I believe that if I have those kinds of feelings and I drink alcohol and alcohol provides that kind

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 of solution then I belong in alcohol so and uh and so that's why I'm here because that's exactly

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 what happened and I started drinking I like to drink a lot and I ended up as I said it was

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 kind of very chaotic and troublesome childhood my dad was a Lutheran minister and ended up on

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 skid row as an alcoholic and you know my younger sister who died my mother had multiple marriages

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 and by the time I was 18 I figured we had moved 21 times you know it's just that kind of thing

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 it's just always place to place no stability always the new kid in town you know the whole

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 that whole thing and where it ultimately took me was in my early early 20s I ended up in Crested

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 Butte, Colorado now you end up in Crested Butte is a small ski resort town in central Colorado it's

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 a beautiful beautiful town and you know you only end up in a place like Crested Butte when you have

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 when you've gone to college you need to have a degree like I have you know I went to college and

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 I was able to graduate from college which was really surprising because at that point in my

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 life I had never been in one place for four years and had managed to stay in college for four years

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 I think mostly because of my junior year I decided to stop drinking seriously I don't know why I can't

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 explain it to you but I just I just did I was a terrible non-drinker by the way it's very

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 self-righteous about it you know I just we walk around just look at people like why are you wasting

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 your time you know being drunk like that you know you didn't want to be around me anyway I graduated

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 from college but I had trouble in college identifying what my major would be because like Alex

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 was talking about he's talking about chameleon you know I just didn't I didn't know I didn't know

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 what I wanted I always was trying to figure out what other people wanted for me and so I didn't

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 know what major to pick you know and then I sort of justified I was like well I don't can't really

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 decide on a major because you know if you have my level of intellect and understanding you can't

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 possibly limit yourself to anything so I made up my own major they let you do that at this school

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 it's called an independent major and and so my major was social change through human forms of

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 expression tell me what that means or maybe I would appreciate knowing because um but I do

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 have a degree in that and as you might imagine there's not a lot of jobs available in that field

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 and so you end up in a place like Crested Butte which is just kind of where people go to

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 you know ski and hang out Crested Butte was a wonderful place when I got there and it was

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 you know I always felt like I had missed the 60s and Crested Butte was like it was like reliving

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 the 60s or what I had imagined it to be I mean it was just a strong sense of community and

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 this feeling of family and everybody's drinking and partying and carrying on and uh and I just

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 loved it I loved that feeling I love that small town environment friends that I was making and uh

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 and it was great and I got there uh sort of a weird sequence of events when I got there

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 and I'm going to say it was late February getting a mark something like that of uh 1981 I guess it

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 was and um I you know I didn't have an address you know it was the kind of place where as long as you

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 had friends you had a place to live you know just sleep on the couches or the floor with whoever

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 might have me and it was just that kind of thing I didn't have a place um but what I didn't realize

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 was that uh you know in these ski resort areas they have what's called mud season and that's

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 where the scariest shuts down and everybody leaves I mean they're literally like 90 percent of the

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 town just leaves and they plan for it they save their money and they go they're tired of the

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 winter and they go to exotic warm places and you know that kind of thing and I mean I felt like the

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 you know kid at the park where everybody went home to have dinner like hey where's everybody going

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 you know I didn't get that message because I you know I had been living one day at a time long

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 before I came to alcohol synonymous and I was living one day at a time there in Crested Butte

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 but I was fortunate in that um you know a guy was nice enough I can't even remember his name but he

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 was nice enough to let me house it for him so I had a place to stay so my dog Blaze and I moved

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 into his house and you know it really I think back on it it was amazing because there was like no

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 work I mean Crested is the kind of place that you just do whatever kind of work needs to be done to

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 get by and there was no work and I got on food stamps I saw my food stamp card from that I had

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 that block of government cheese and uh but somehow you know and all the you know so there's no work

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 the most of the bars were shut down a couple liquor stores so he managed to get drunk every

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 night and we can be exceptionally resourceful when we need to be anyway so the mud season lasted I

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 don't know about six weeks or so and then this guy came back and he wanted he wanted his house back

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 um which you know I don't know if I felt that was a real inconvenience for me that he came back and

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 so I had to come up with you know what my plan was going to be like well where where am I going to go

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 what am I going to do and uh you know I had you know I just had this feeling inside I just never

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 felt like like I was a man inside not at all and and I thought well you know I need to do something

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 that's really manly my next move has got to be manly it's got to be something that could really

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 impress the woman you know and so uh what I decided to do I gave it a lot of thought and I thought

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 well I'm just going to get a I'm going to get a tarp I'm going to string it up between two trees

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 you're kind of a lean to kind of thing and I could put pine boughs underneath there and you know I'll

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 I'll live under the tarp you know I used to say it was like oh I'll be like grizzly adams now it's

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 like the show alone you know it's like I would just be out there in the woods you know and I

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 thought that's that's a manly thing to do you know maybe maybe a stupid man but it's a manly thing

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 you know and so that was my plan and so I was out one night and uh with this woman Darlene and I

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 wanted to impress her with my plan and uh and so I kind of set her up to you know ask me well you

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 know what are you going to do uh so I said yeah I kind of move out of this house or social where

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 are you going to live and I said well I'm going to live under a tarp and she you know I always

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 say this but it's just so true for me it's like it's happened to me so many times and maybe it's

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 happened to you I don't know but where I have an idea and I just get stuck on the first like first

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 25 percent of the idea and I think about that part of it over and over and over again but I don't

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 seem to have the capacity to think it all the way through and I realized as this was coming out of

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 my mouth to Darlene that this may not be as good an idea as I thought it was and she agreed with

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 that by the way and she said she said well you can't live under a tarp it's 9 000 feet in the

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 rocky mountains I mean that's that's crazy just you can't you can't do that I said well you know

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 I can and uh she said no she said I tell you what she says I have a teepee and you can use it instead

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 well let me tell you something when you're looking at living under a tarp teepee sounds pretty good

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 and I had studied about an American Indian religion as part of that major and I thought

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 you know yeah to be out there and kind of like a loincloth you know and I just thought you know

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 the Indian religion was all kind of directions and circles and I felt so fractured inside and so

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 just meandering I thought yeah this is going to be really good you know I'm going to stop drinking

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 and I'm going to get healthy out there and I'm going to cut catch trout out of that that river

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 I set up next to the slate river I'm going to catch trout on that slate river and cook them over

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 in the open fire and I set up that teepee and I put shag carpeting inside and you know I just

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 thought yeah this is really this is really going to be it and uh and I thought you know I will

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 I will befriend the bear you know the deer will come eat from my hand and I thought you know the

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 women are going to come flocking out there but no doubt there's going to be a line into Tim's teepee

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 and it just didn't work out that way you might be surprised um here's what when you set up a teepee

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 you're supposed to strip all the bark off the poles you know then hold the teepee together

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 and the reason you do that is because when it rains if you don't strip the bark off the water

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 collects on the bark and it rains in your teepee well who could be bothered with that and so I

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 never uh I never scraped the bark off the off the teepee poles and it was the rainiest summer in like

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 10 years and it rained in my teepee all the time and I just I would lay there and I think god you

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 know how'd this happen again you know I'm just such a nothing ever works out for me it just

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 never works out for me no sense of personal responsibility or anything just me and my

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 wet dog blaze you know in the teepee and just thinking god I don't know how this how this

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 happened you know it just anyway and by the way I wonder about stuff like this if you're wondering

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 like well what about when you live in a teepee what about personal hygiene you know like I mean

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 that river is awfully it's it's melted snow so like what'd you do and uh well I'll tell you in

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 Crested Butte there's a place called Sunshine's Bathhouse and Sunshine's Bathhouse was a little

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 community place and uh it was co-ed and I mean it was full-on co-ed it was co-ed locker rooms

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 co-ed co-ed showers there's a big rock hot tub I mean it was co-ed and there was a lot of really

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 physically fit 20-somethings running around in there and I'll tell you what I don't think I've

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 ever been so clean in my life Sunshine's Bathhouse anyway I ended up moving out of the uh the bath

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 house or moving out of the teepee and um and the bath house into a place and I've done a lot of

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 different jobs I've worked as a logger and waiter and carpenter and shoveled snow off roofs and I

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 mean you just do whatever you have to do but I ended up with a with a job tending bar a place

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 called the grub stay and uh you know for a guy like me tending bar was the perfect job because

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 I basically just drank my way through every shift so I never missed I never missed a night

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 you know I was there all the time I make one for you one for me I you know I was the bartender

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 actually because I made the drinks the way I wanted to drink them you know and I would have

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 people all the time come back and ask me if I could put in a little bit more mixer in the drink

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 but uh anyway I my drinking got completely and totally out of control and uh you know

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 I was very much a blackout drinker I don't remember there's big swatches of time that I

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 don't remember I came across a photo a couple years ago of uh it was a party in somebody's

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 backyard and there was probably 35 people in this picture and at the time those people were like

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 family to me you know like everybody's like family to me in that town and uh and I looked at that

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 picture and I mean I recognized one person I didn't even recognize that people much less

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 remember their names it was a little unnerving to think about that but I just I just didn't

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 anyway I uh I just started to drink in a way that was a complete completely compulsively

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 and obsessively um I don't know how much I drank I drank I mean to me I don't know any

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 self-respecting alcoholic who really keeps track how much they drink I didn't want to know how much

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 I drank you know I wasn't measuring it believe me I just drank all every day as much as I could

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 and uh you know when you do that just bad things just start to happen to you and they they started

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 to happen to me and I remember really what uh I mean I got to the point where I just didn't feel

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 like I could do anything in life without taking a drink first I was completely possessed with that

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 idea I didn't have to make a phone call without taking a drink first I didn't think I could do

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 my laundry without taking a drink first the very first thing when I woke up in bed was to take a

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 drink the very first thing and I would drink it and it would come back up I would drink it down

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 again it would come back up my I could feel my body just rejecting the alcohol oh but I would

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 take another drink until it finally stayed out and I remember that very clearly how alcohol affected

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 at the end of my drinking was really what alcohol did to me physically that I remember more than

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 anything else because it was destroying my body and I knew it and I didn't care because to me I

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 could not imagine this life without taking a drink I just couldn't imagine it just didn't seem

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 possible to me I remember there was a guy that used to run around Crested Butte it was uh you know

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 he's the kind of guy that went around in town like that he was a self-proclaimed shaman his name was

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 Stephen and he came in my room one of my big goals in life at that time was to get to bed before the

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 sun came and uh I didn't meet that goal very often believe me so I would you know I'd go to bed and

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 be up all night and go to bed at nine o'clock in the morning and sleep all day and one of this

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 guy Stephen came into my room woke me up one day it's probably about 2 30 in the afternoon and I had

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 empty bottles all over the place there's dirty clothes everywhere I mean the room is trashed

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 and he came and he woke me up and uh and he looked at me and he said you're an alcoholic and my first

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 reaction was wow this guy really is click plants how do you know I didn't uh I brushed him aside

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 and anyway I ended up um I just remember my skin just crawling like how addicted I was to alcohol

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 physically and at night my legs were just involuntarily pound the bed and I was passing

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 blood and just vomit my own liver bottle every morning and this all just became it just all

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 became acceptable it's just how I lived my life and I ended up coming out to Southern California

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 at that time and in the summer of 1985 because when they go and get stuff those guys go live with

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 their moms and that's what I did and I came out here and I was here for a short time and

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 I was 26 years old and I ain't looking in the hospital because my liver just completely failed

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 it just shut down it could no longer alcohol had prohibited my liver to be able to function

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 normally anymore it just wouldn't do it and uh I remember I was in the hospital and

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 doctor came in he said you know if you continue to drink and I just looked me in the eye and I said

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 no let me tell you because you see I just couldn't I couldn't imagine life without a drink I just

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 couldn't imagine you know I was in there for a short period of time I was in there for three

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 days you know the fourth day I had a spiritual experience and stuff of my stuff followed the

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 doctors and just completely unrelated to our conversation I just blurted out I said I'm gonna

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 talk and there's nothing I've been wrestling with there's nothing I'd given any thought to

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 whatsoever it just came out of my mouth and he said uh I said can you look me in the eye and say

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 that I looked in the eye and said and like that that complete obsession and compulsion of drink

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 was gone it was listed I had been touched by the spirit there was no question I tell you I admire

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 those of you walk in here and ask for help because I'm not I don't have that kind of backbone I know

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 I'd rather drink myself to death than walk through that door and ask somebody to help and so I really

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 believe that's the only way that I could've gone so it's the only reason that I'm standing here

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 tonight and uh I got going on this program with folks and all this you know I went through the

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 12 steps and I listened to speakers like myself and I I heard all the spiritual attitudes and

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 stories of inspiration um and I'll be honest with you I go home at night and I lay in bed

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 with them I don't know what they're talking I don't know what they're talking about I don't

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 I mean I did the 12 steps what like where is it where is it I don't get it where is it I don't see

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 it and uh they understand what working this program they continue working the steps we're gonna what

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 are you talking about understanding I can look back on it now and realize that my sponsor at the

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 time had me working the steps without me realizing it because one thing that one of the first things

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 he did was through his direction he gave me a structure to my life and so my life was no longer

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 managed he was building at least the foundation through having a manageable life I didn't even

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 know it I didn't even know that that's what we're doing I've since come to understand how much

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 freedom there is not having to make too many choices everything I did not know that I did

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 not know that and I slowly started to you know this really took me a long time to really grasp

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 what we're doing here what was this all about you know there's like you know you can't cross

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 the sea by standing there and staying you gotta do something I started to realize that these 12

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 steps were something that I needed I needed to practice them in my life every single day and it

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 was a lot of work it was hard because most of what the principles of the 12 steps talk about

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 goes against who I am who I am naturally you know I'll tell you a story about that about the steps

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 because I identify with you know so well like what did you do you know the guys I sponsor always you

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 know always always try to equate it to some action that can be taken you know and you know I'll tell

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 you this story because it's I mean it's me and my mother was a remarkable she was a woman that

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 really she had been wrong every dream she had she lost her youngest child she lost her husband

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 she lost everything and here was her only son and she knew she was losing him and I didn't

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 treat her very well when I was out there I didn't I wasn't in contact with her for months at a time

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 she was dead I mean I just and she knew what the story was she wouldn't accept it but she

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 she knows just like and it was a lot of years ago she didn't understand what was it anyway I got I

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 got sober and I made amends to her but then I learned here that it wasn't enough to just make

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 amends you know there's step six and seven two which talk about addressing my character defects

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 there was no point making amends to her this was going to change who I was and so I tried to behave

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 differently telling the truth I called her on a regular basis and on Mother's Day we went to see

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 her on the holidays we spent together and slowly started to rebuild this relationship of love and

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 trust and you know I met my wife and we started channeling and she ended up she was living down in

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 we're in Calabasas and she was living in Orange County and she her husband moved up here to be

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 closer to us and she participated with those kids lives it was the best part of her life that she

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 had ever experienced it was like she was at that in that part of her life I was doing well I was

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 happy and a wonderful wife and these three kids and she was volunteering at their school and I

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 mean she life was just really really good and then one day she called me she said that they had found

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 a spot kid and I remember we went down to the beach in Malibu and you know what do you say

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 what do you say I said uh I said you know what's going to happen but I'm going to be with you every

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 step of the way and I was I was with her every step of the way I went to doctors appointments

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 with her I fought with insurance companies for the course hospitals to take her in and give her

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 these treatments and she had some horrible just clinical trials that were just devastating

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 physically and you know in the end she was losing it and I remember her last days she was living in

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 Wesley village she knew she only had moments to live here at the end so one by one my family

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 went in to say goodbye to her and my children went in they were little at the time they went in

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 each alone if you ever made somebody rain it's a little scary they're scary these children were

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 unfriend because they loved her they just saw right past and then you know my wife went in

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 husband went in and I was the last person and I went in that room and she looked at me and she

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 said I love you and I told her the same and I was holding her just spinning bonds and I laid

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 her back and she lost consciousness and she lived for a few more days you know just with my sister

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 and I slept on the floor just waiting for that moment and we were with her when she passed and

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 it just so happened that when she died her minister and her husband my three children my wife were

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 made home downstairs so moments after she died they all came upstairs we held hands around the bed

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 my life has changed and so on let's work on the steps and our thoughts and obvious that's what

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 I've got but it took it took effort it's not like hey look steps and see it took some it took effort

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 to make up I started to build a life here it was just it was amazing really I've been able to

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 succeed in ways that I had never been able to succeed in my life I'd always thought of myself

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 as a loser and I realized that calling myself a loser is just another excuse so it was no excuse

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 for going to take responsibility and uh and so these wonderful things started to happen

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 my wife and I were building this life and but you know things happen right I mean life happens over

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 time you know it's not you know I lost my mom my whole birth family has gone you know I've had

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 times where I've just felt insecure I've had times where I've been afraid had times right that sense

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 of impending doom and I don't even know why and uh and so things like that happen you know 2023

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 was not a great year for me in January last year and the surgery on my show I'm a very active

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 person so whenever I kind of have to go down it's it's hard for me I had surgery on my on my left

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 shoulder and then in uh February my son is a professional baseball player his career came to

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 just kind of abrupt and untimely and it's very challenging for me and then in March my uh my back

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 had been causing me problems with my feet and lower legs started to get numb I was just really worried

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 about that so I went to the doctor and they've been in our and I said yeah you know a serious

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 condition we need to take care of that when we did the MRI and we noticed that I gave a kidney

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 stone and so they said we're going to take care of that first they have two surgeries to have the

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 kidney stone which was very unpleasant then the doctor said you know see your back we should do

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 an MRI of your neck just to be sure well we've been in my neck and it was worse than my back they

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 said that's more serious we need to do that so August 18th of last year I had a multi-level

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 neck fusion surgery which is not fun not fun at all and then in December I had a back surgery in

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 September and I got called into a meeting in my job a virtual meeting and I worked at a desk in

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 my garage and I got called into a virtual meeting and they announced that the division I worked for

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 they were shutting down they were eliminating my position and like that a 35-year career

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 was over it was over with me sitting alone in my garage all the people that had worked for me

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 managed over the years that I worked with sitting there alone in my garage in my car so there was no

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 party there was no plaque there's no watch there was neither and I'll tell you what was strange

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 about it though was last year I did have my mullets I had my mullets of stroke and I was

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 physically uncomfortable but I was okay I was okay and I came to realize that the circumstances

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 of my life weren't necessarily my well-being was not dependent on the circumstances it just wasn't

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 I didn't realize that but I found that out last year and I bought my own dam I like my watch my

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 watch understands me my watch will tell me you've had a stressful day it talks to me it does and it

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 says it says my wife will say well you ever got chores to do around the house I'll be like yeah

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 my watch says I need to rest a couple days ago it asked me it says have you ever considered not

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 drinking alcohol anyway uh you know this is a new year and uh so a lot of this year's off to a much

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 better start and I'll tell you what if you just looked at my life from a 40,000 foot view I mean

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 here's what you would see I have a sponsor that I've had for a long time Bob Aro not star but he

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 means a great member of Alcoholics Anonymous and I'm in regular contact with him and I love him and

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 he loves me I sponsor a bunch of guys that uh you know when they hurt I do what I can to use their

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 pay and uh when they have triumphs in their lives I get the chance to celebrate those with them too

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 and it just adds a lot to my life and these three kids have grown up and uh you know my uh youngest

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 daughter is a consultant she had an engineering degree from the University of Pittsburgh she lives

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 in Chicago she's just doing great and uh my son is now uh retired from baseball and he and his wife

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 live on uh most beach now so they're close by he's got his own business and they're happy and and

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 building a good life and my oldest daughter Kristen uh lives in Burke Bank now my husband David and

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 they have two children so I'm a grandfather Zeke who's a little over two years old and Lydia June

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 he's three weeks old I spent the afternoon holding Lydia June my mother's name is Jim so it's kind of

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 a special and my wife Nancy and I have been we have 36 wedding wedding anniversary at the beginning

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 of this month and we just got a good thing of going you know all the kids are going we're

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 empty nesters so we're dating again dating each other it's not like that we're having a lot of

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 fun together you know I like to ride my mountain bike I enjoy that and play pickleball together

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 hike and do all the stuff we've been traveling we've been to a lot of really cool places we've

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 been to Bhutan and uh we went to Africa last year and some just amazing experiences in Africa and

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 this uh this august we're going to go to Peru we're going to go find this El Canton a truck uh which is a truck

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 you have to go over it's a 15 000 foot calisthenica like oh it's really going to it's quite a track

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 it's just like she's got to be married to me you can't we can't just take the bus and the train

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 and uh and then I found out that so can't they actually means savage and not savage in the way

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 they use it today it's like hey dude that was savage I mean like like the real savage you know

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 she knows that yeah it's really going to be something I think it's going to be dope

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 it's going to be something and we just have a really really good life together yeah you know

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 now I just you know if you look at my life I mean what what I'm trying to do is I'm just trying to

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 live a life that's just undisturbed trying to spend so much of my life chasing after things that make

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 me feel feel good you know and now I'm trying to do things in my life I feel good about because

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 things that you just feel good make you feel good it's fine but once they're over they're over the

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 things that you feel good about well that's more permanent that's something that can stick with you

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 that allows you to build you know really a meaningful life and a life that you know

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 I'm trying to trying to you know struggle with this idea of humility and alcoholics and on you

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 see these 12 steps are all based on the concept of humility it's a time for me it's a difficult

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 thing it's hard to even define I've come to the conclusion that humility just means that uh that

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 I'm willing to give without it being transaction willing to give expecting nothing in return and

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 it's a hard thing to do it's a for me it's a hard thing to do I don't know if I have the true

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 strength of character that humility requires I don't know that uh let me find out I'm gonna do

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 the best I can of course you know talking about humility is you know it's kind of a hard thing

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 to talk about because as soon as you start talking about it you're not but uh anyway I um I'm really

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 grateful for alcoholics and I'm grateful to have developed some kind of of sense of a spiritual

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 program here you know and I found that really uh because I didn't you know I came here with such a

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 selfish and distant heart and I didn't understand that concept of loving one another I kind of got

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 it with loving my wife and children but I didn't understand it and alcoholics and I was like what

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 do we talk about when we love and then you know I realized that um those people who set up this

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 meeting and the people who are sponsoring others and uh you know they're helping one another uh

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 what we do in alcoholics anonymous for each other that's love that's love that's how we love each

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 other in alcoholics anonymous and almost every religion that you'll know of equates love with

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 God you know I remember there we were I was at a funeral I talked to the priest afterwards and he

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 said you know to love and others to see the face of God and I believe that to be true and so that's

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 where I found this spiritual connection and to me it's real it's substantive I can feel when I feel

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 that love I could feel it physically it connects with me and that's where I know I've had a

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 conscious contact with God so uh if you're new I think there was a new person online maybe I don't

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 know if there's anyone here in the room that was is but um to me what I found here at alcoholics

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 anonymous through these 12 steps is a meaningful luck is a meaningful luck and if you're new all

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 I could tell you is if you just try to do this program very best you can just give it your all

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 as our chapter 5 says rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path thank you