1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,960 - Good evening, my name is David, I'm an alcoholic. 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,260 First of all, I wanna thank Ben for asking me 3 00:00:04,260 --> 00:00:05,860 to come out and share tonight. 4 00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:07,240 It's an honor and privilege for me 5 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:11,320 to participate in my own sobriety and NEA activity. 6 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,720 I do wanna welcome the newcomers, raise your hands, 7 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,840 and those that are still relatively new. 8 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,320 I know you may not think it, 9 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:20,940 but this is the best game in town, man, let me tell you. 10 00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:23,880 My sobriety date is March the 5th of 1988, 11 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,200 so I've been sober for 36 years, 12 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,760 and that's by the grace of God, 13 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,760 the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, 14 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:30,720 and meetings like this. 15 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,320 As a matter of fact, this very meeting 16 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,840 was the offshoot of another meeting 17 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,080 that we were all members of, 18 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:36,560 and I've had people in the room 19 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,320 that I've known for over 25, 30 years, 20 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,680 you know, and so it's great to be here tonight. 21 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,720 Kinda weird because when Ben Joey didn't find his speaker 22 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,440 for this weekend, 'cause it was a holiday weekend, 23 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,360 I was like, "Oh, okay, yeah, sure, no problem. 24 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:52,320 "I'll come out and do it." 25 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,960 You know, it's an honor and privilege. 26 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,240 And then I have another friend who happens to be here tonight 27 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,020 that he asked me to come and speak on a holiday weekend. 28 00:00:59,020 --> 00:01:00,720 You know, and I said, "Wait, wait, am I becoming 29 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,480 "like the designated holiday speaker or something?" 30 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,400 You know, so people are gonna be calling me, 31 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,120 so, you know, come on a holiday weekend, 32 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,000 I'll be speaking again somewhere in Southern California, 33 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,820 you know? (laughs) 34 00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:13,440 So I got something to look forward to. 35 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,060 So I gotta stay sober. 36 00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:18,080 And I wanna thank all my friends that are here tonight 37 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,960 and that came out to support, and my friends on Zoom. 38 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:26,960 As far west is West Hills, and as far east as Las Vegas. 39 00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:30,440 You know, that's one of the benefits 40 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,080 of staying sober a long time. 41 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:36,240 You get to meet people, you get to forge relationships, 42 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,520 and next thing you know, it's time goes on and on. 43 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,840 You know, my buddy Ray, I mean, you know, 44 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,060 we've been through a lot together, and you know, 45 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,400 we, you know, boos. 46 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,660 I mean, there's so many people that I can call out 47 00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:48,500 that we've done. 48 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,880 Sean too, yeah, yeah. 49 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,420 I helped him so many, in so many ways. 50 00:01:52,420 --> 00:01:55,300 But he don't, but he don't know, tell me more. 51 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,060 Let me tell you, let me tell you. 52 00:01:57,060 --> 00:02:00,120 So anyway, I'm gonna stick to the format 53 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,440 and share with you in a general way 54 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,320 what I used to be like, what happened, 55 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,880 and what I'm like today. 56 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,240 You know, I was born and raised in New York City 57 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,200 where there's a lot of crime and violence 58 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,840 and substance abuse and alcoholism. 59 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,480 Now, that's just in my family alone. 60 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,300 But I learned to drink at a early age, 61 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:20,140 and you know, I've gotta skip through a lot of my drinking 62 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,760 because a lot of them were supposed to be, 63 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,000 you would think they would be highlights, 64 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,040 but they were actually lowlights, you know, 65 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,720 because I was a blackout drinker. 66 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,180 So a lot of it, I don't remember 67 00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,200 because, you know, once I started drinking 68 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,800 and blacking out, you know, that's it. 69 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,520 You know, I don't know where I'd wind up or land. 70 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,400 And a lot of the things I don't remember, 71 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,520 but I do remember waking up with black eyes, you know, 72 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,760 or some pain somewhere or something had happened, you know, 73 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,640 or there's some funny stories. 74 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,580 But I love to drink, you know. 75 00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:55,120 Now, I qualify for a whole lot of other programs. 76 00:02:55,120 --> 00:03:00,000 I qualify for NA, GA, SA, MA, most A's. 77 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,520 So if your drug of choice was not rum and coke, 78 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,080 if it was something else, 79 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,720 like another drug or something else, 80 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,460 insert, whenever I say rum and coke, 81 00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:09,800 just insert your drug of choice, you know. 82 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,800 And when I first came to Alcoholics Anonymous, 83 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,920 you know, and I, you know, I was an alcoholic and a, 84 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,960 and a this, and a that, you know. 85 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,700 And you may hear that, you know, 86 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,520 yeah, I'm an alcoholic and a, and a, 87 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,760 but not, so I qualify for one of those and a's. 88 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,080 My sponsor told me that, you know, 89 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,200 if I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, 90 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,840 it would take care of all of my problems. 91 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,520 So I needed to add the and a's. 92 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,520 So I said, oh, I'm gonna stick with this deal. 93 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,760 Plus, you know, I was gonna, 94 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,360 I had gone through some other fellowships 95 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,520 and there was one that was relatively new 96 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,280 or young in its infancy and in the program. 97 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:45,360 And so I didn't, I didn't quite connect with those people. 98 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:49,240 A lot of them were younger, but also, you know, 99 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,240 it was in such an attraction in Alcoholics Anonymous, 100 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,080 you know, the women got cleaned up a lot better 101 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,560 and they looked a lot better. 102 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,360 And, you know, they were a program of attraction, 103 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:00,200 let me tell you. 104 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,560 I went to those other fellowships 105 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,560 and some of them didn't even have any teeth, you know, 106 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,600 and I'm like, no, I think I'd rather go back 107 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,000 to stick with the AA, you know what I'm saying? 108 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,600 Now bear in mind, married too, 109 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,520 I'm just married at the time. 110 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,800 But I'm grateful for my wife 'cause she stuck, 111 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,880 she stuck with me and she, 112 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,240 she's been the best part of my life 113 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,320 and not all the time 'til I feel that way 114 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,480 or think that way or wanna say, ah, yeah. 115 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,640 But we've been married together, 116 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:35,480 married for going on, ready for this? 117 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:36,320 No drum roll? 118 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,480 Come on, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 119 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:42,000 Next week on a couple of weeks, it's gonna be 42 years. 120 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,800 Wow, it's right. 121 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,000 Now don't applaud for me, applaud for her, you know. 122 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,960 She's been putting up with all of my anxiety 123 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,360 for all these years, you know? 124 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,640 And so, honey, honey, we could do this. 125 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,560 Oh, honey, honey, let's try this, you know? 126 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:59,560 And so I love my wife, you know, and I know she loves me. 127 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,400 I was getting ready the night and she says, 128 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,360 seven o'clock, seven o'clock. 129 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,400 But to me, I know that means it's 10 minutes to seven 130 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,520 because she likes to scare me and stuff, you know, 131 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,440 and try to like make me rush, you know? 132 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,600 And so I know her game, you know? 133 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,400 And so, you know, I was feeling good in the shower. 134 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,200 I don't care about, you know, I was hot all day, 135 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,040 you know, I was out for a little while 136 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,560 and I was taking the shower and I was feeling good, 137 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,920 you know, like, oh, I gotta go, hurry up, you know? 138 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,600 And I do gotta start this talk off with an amends. 139 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,800 I gotta make an amends, a 10 step amends, okay? 140 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,400 So when you get to look over here and look at the step 10, 141 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,840 okay, continue to take personal inventory 142 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,600 when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 143 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,000 I was supposed to meet some friends of mine tonight 144 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,240 for some dinner, a pre-meeting dinner, you know? 145 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,520 But I'm trying to justify it by saying, 146 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,480 oh yeah, well, we never confirmed it, you know? 147 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,920 If you hear that, then that's because they identified, okay? 148 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,320 Oh, but I gotta make amends to my friends 149 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,680 and I'm sure it's gonna cost me a meal or something 150 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,800 or at least a happy meal out of the deal, you know? 151 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,440 But we were supposed to have, 152 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,520 we were supposed to hook up before the meeting 153 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,960 at a Puerto's no less even, right? 154 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,720 And, but when they called, I was actually in my shorts, 155 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,520 not underwear, short shorts, you know? 156 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,480 And they say, well, where are you? 157 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,520 They say, well, where are you at? 158 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,560 We don't see you, you know? (laughs) 159 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:20,560 I'm on my way. 160 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,120 So it's great to have friends like that. 161 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,240 I mean, that'll call you on your stuff, you know? 162 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:29,640 And my best friend who's zooming in from Las Vegas, 163 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,160 you know, he's good for that, you know? 164 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,320 'Cause he often reminds me that he's got, you know, 165 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,480 two, 10 days on me, you know? 166 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:39,320 I'm March the 5th and he's February 22nd, you know? 167 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,480 And so it was easy, all right, look at that. 168 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,680 All right, yeah, right, there you go, yeah, all right, yeah. 169 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,160 But he often reminds me that he's got more time than me 170 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,520 and that he pretty much has been sponsoring me 171 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,280 all these years. (laughs) 172 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,640 But, so my drinking pattern would go like this. 173 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,000 I would drink, okay, now insert something else, 174 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,480 if you have something else that you preferred 175 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,640 and I drink and I black out, you know, 176 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,480 and wind up urinating on myself or someone else. 177 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,160 Wait a minute, come on, (mumbles) 178 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,160 come on, come on, come on, okay, all right. 179 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:18,160 So, and I knew that wasn't the kind of drinking 180 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,960 that I should be doing, but it also affected 181 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,080 other areas of my life, you know. 182 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:27,200 I used to manage my finances by robbing from Peter 183 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:31,720 to pay Paul, you know, and running to turn off, 184 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,160 running to pay the DWP bills 185 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,040 so that they don't turn off my lights, you know. 186 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,760 Well, that did happen once and, you know, 187 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,720 I still hear, I hear about that still to this day, okay. 188 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,840 Sorry, honey, but that was like 35 years ago, 189 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,400 30 years ago, yeah, it doesn't happen anymore, come on. 190 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,240 Yeah, so I just, I love Alcoholics Anonymous 191 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,240 and so when I came here, it took care of all of my problems, 192 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,720 took care of all of that stuff, 193 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,400 because as long as I was willing to do the work, 194 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,320 you know, and the quote for today that was out this morning, 195 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,600 you know, it came out today, every day, 196 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,360 there's a quote for today, you know, 197 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,320 and the quote for today talked about that, you know, 198 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,040 'cause once you get sober, you think that's all you need 199 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,760 to do to sustain your sobriety, 200 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,760 it's like, no, you gotta keep putting the work in, 201 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:19,480 it takes perseverance, it takes work in this program, 202 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,520 being a service, you know, 203 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,960 Adam so eloquently talked about running, 204 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,400 if they had another name for Alcoholics Anonymous, 205 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,200 it'd be Runners Anonymous, because that's what we do, 206 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,920 we run, we wanna get away from the situation, 207 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,920 we wanna run from our finances, 208 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:37,360 we wanna run from our finance, from our, 209 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:41,080 not only our finances, but our spouses or significant others, 210 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,400 you know, we wanna run away from relationships, 211 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,840 and so I was at a meeting, 212 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,840 well, let me tell you how I got to the meeting, okay, 213 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:52,120 my Eskimo for the sake of the new terminology, 214 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,080 my wife had a problem with the substance 215 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,720 and she was blowing a lot of our money, 216 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,400 thank you, thank you, 217 00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,880 and I told her she needed to get help, 218 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,160 she knew that she had a problem and she needed to get help, 219 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,640 and they sent her, she went to this program called Vista 220 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,080 and similar to Vogue I'm sure, 221 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,240 you know, they had an outpatient program at the time, 222 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,440 it was an outpatient program, 223 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,360 and one of the things, 224 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,160 one of the requirements were that you go 225 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,280 to these AA meetings, 226 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,000 and so I didn't think about it, 227 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,440 only thing I was correlated with was like, 228 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,000 you know, you got the AA and you got VA, 229 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,800 you know, and you got some other kind of AA, 230 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,480 like, I didn't know, you know, 231 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:27,920 she had to go to these meetings, 232 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,000 and so after a few, what seemed like months, 233 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,280 but probably was weeks, 234 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,280 she started getting cleaned up and gussied up 235 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,600 and looking good and smelling good, you know, 236 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,640 and like, where are you going? 237 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:40,960 I'm going to the meeting, 238 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,680 and I said, okay, well, have a good time, 239 00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:44,240 you know, and I'd have my beer, 240 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,240 I'd be drinking my beer, 241 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,960 watching the sports game or something, you know, 242 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,000 and then she'd come home from the meeting 243 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,240 with these pamphlets and, you know, 244 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,480 are you an alcoholic? 245 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,000 You know, do you have a problem with drinking, you know, 246 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,920 and so take the 20 questions and all that, 247 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,680 so I was, you know, using those as coasters, 248 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,360 you know, she'd bring it home and I put my beer on, 249 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:04,560 she says, hey, why don't you read this? 250 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,560 And I said, yeah, sure, I'll read it later, you know, 251 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,440 I'll read it later, and one Saturday night, 252 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,440 Saturday night was their home group meeting, 253 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,840 their main meeting, right? 254 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,280 So she's going on a Saturday night meeting, 255 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,640 and she says, you know, why don't you come? 256 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:17,880 I've been inviting you, I've been inviting you. 257 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:18,920 I said, yeah, I'll come, I'll come. 258 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,920 So one Saturday night, we got a babysitter, 259 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,440 'cause our young son was about three years old, 260 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,720 three going on four, and we got a babysitter, 261 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,600 let's go down to this meeting and check out 262 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,960 and see who's looking at my wife, you know, 263 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,120 because, you know, she's smelling good and looking good, 264 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,680 you know, and I wanted to see, you know, 265 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,880 what's going on at these meetings here, you know? 266 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,760 So lo and behold, that I know was one to be my best friend, 267 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,320 was one of the people that were eyeballing my wife, 268 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,160 you know, and you all cocked to it, 269 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:50,120 but she's told me, you know, so thank you for this meeting, 270 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,640 and meeting is very similar to this, as a matter of fact, 271 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:53,880 there might have been some people that were here 272 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,920 at night meeting, and so coming in, shaking my hands, 273 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,520 welcoming me, you know, smiling from ear to ear, 274 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,240 you know, asking me, did I get a sponsor? 275 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,440 And I'm like, oh, what's that? 276 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:03,880 You know, I don't know anything about that, you know? 277 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,360 So anyway, let's hurry it along, 278 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,720 because I wanna get into the steps, 279 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,880 I wanna get into the meat of the program, right? 280 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,720 So they told me, if you go to enough meetings, 281 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,040 you'll read your story one day. 282 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:14,880 I said, yeah, all right. 283 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,280 So I started coming to the meetings, 284 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,440 on Saturday night, we get a babysitter, 285 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:19,520 and then after a little while, 286 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,480 people kept bugging me about getting a sponsor, 287 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,080 and I said, hey, look, I'm here to support my wife, 288 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:25,880 I'm not an alcoholic, you know? 289 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,640 I'm here to support her, you know? 290 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,360 And so they said, oh yeah, yeah, just keep coming back, 291 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,200 keep coming back, you'll read your story one day. 292 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,480 So I said, nah, I'm not gonna hear my story, you know? 293 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,360 I was born and raised in the projects, 294 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,800 in the ghetto in New York City, you know? 295 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,960 And you know, I'm from a different ethnic background, 296 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,960 and you know, my parents were blue collar workers, 297 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,800 you know, my dad was a postal worker, 298 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,640 and my mom worked at the school, you know, 299 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,600 in the lunchroom, in the cafeteria, you know? 300 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,640 And so, you know, I didn't know nobody was gonna, 301 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,600 I would identify with anybody in this program, you know? 302 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,160 So lo and behold, I heard my story one day. 303 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:01,700 I heard my story from a young man, 304 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:03,960 from a different ethnic background, different upbringing. 305 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,360 He was born and raised in the country, 306 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,600 might've been milking cows, I don't know. 307 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,240 But I was born and raised in the city, you know? 308 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,780 Drinking wine and hanging out with the fellas, you know? 309 00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:14,080 With the garbage can on fire, you know? 310 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,580 'Cause it was cold out, you know? 311 00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:17,580 And so we'd be singing and drinking 312 00:12:17,580 --> 00:12:19,120 and having a good time, you know? 313 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:23,000 And so I identified with the causes and conditions 314 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,760 on how he drank and why he drank, 315 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,560 and I'm like, wow, that's my story, that's my story. 316 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:29,840 And I raised my hand as a newcomer, 317 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,720 and I did the things that they suggested we do around here. 318 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,580 Now, this group, Quality of Life. 319 00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:36,480 (speaking in foreign language) 320 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:37,800 This group, Quality of Life. 321 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,440 This group was part of another group 322 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,760 called Life's In Session. 323 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,040 (laughing) 324 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,960 Why do I feel like I'm on a game show? 325 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,880 Can I win 25? 326 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:47,720 Oh, who do I see? 327 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,480 What I need to see about speaking tonight? 328 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:50,640 That was one of my stories. 329 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:53,320 My wife told me that if you go out to be a main speaker, 330 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,040 they pay you 100 bucks when you're a main speaker, 331 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,100 when you go out to be a main speaker. 332 00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,040 I said, "Really?" 333 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,520 So she said, "Yeah, ask your sponsor." 334 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,880 And I'm sorry, was there something I said? 335 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:04,960 Oh, no? 336 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,320 Now you gotta share it, you gotta share it now. 337 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,360 You guys are laughing too hard back there. 338 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,140 Oh, yeah, okay. 339 00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:13,540 So she said, "Talk to your sponsor. 340 00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:15,580 "He'll tell you how you get the $100." 341 00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:18,120 So I go to my sponsor and, "Hey, Chuck, 342 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,520 "I'm about ready to be a main speaker. 343 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,260 "Remember I told you that I'm running for PETA to pay Paul, 344 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,400 "and I can't pay my light bill and that kind of stuff, 345 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,680 "and I'm having trouble with my finances and stuff." 346 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:30,120 And my wife told me that if I go out and be a main speaker, 347 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,640 you get paid 100 bucks. 348 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:32,820 And I said, "If I'm figuring, 349 00:13:32,820 --> 00:13:36,420 "if I go out three or four times a month and speak, 350 00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:38,680 "I can make three or 400 bucks a month. 351 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,140 "That'll take care of some of these problems, 352 00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:43,040 "these financial problems I'm having." 353 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,820 So this was, I had about 76 days, 354 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:50,520 and I'm sure Chuck is still laughing right now. 355 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,160 He's up at, he might be at the big meeting in the sky, 356 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,400 I don't know, but he started laughing and he said, 357 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,100 "No, David, when you come out to speak, 358 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,460 "when you're asked in advance, 359 00:13:58,460 --> 00:13:59,900 "you wear a jacket and a tie, 360 00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:01,880 "and it's for fun and for free." 361 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:02,720 What? 362 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:03,560 Fun and for free? 363 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,200 I'm like, "Nah, I ain't doing all of that." 364 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,080 For fun and for free. 365 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,240 You know how much dry cleaning is, 366 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,480 to clean suits and stuff? 367 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,880 You know, I'm like, "Nah, nah, I'm not." 368 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:10,920 For fun and for free? 369 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,680 So anyway, so I went to this home group meeting, 370 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,460 licensed session, I got a sponsor, Chuck, 371 00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:18,600 and he started taking me through the steps. 372 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,440 And well, first I had to read the big book 373 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,280 from cover to cover, 374 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,560 because I needed to understand the disease of alcoholism, 375 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,800 you know, and I'm not gonna learn about it. 376 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,300 I could have learned part of it hearing speakers, 377 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,840 'cause we had a lot of speaker meetings, 378 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,520 but all through the step studies. 379 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:35,620 But I had to read the big book from cover to cover. 380 00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:37,440 That's where you start out, that's the foundation. 381 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,800 Okay, so power through the big book. 382 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,360 Took me a few months, 'cause I was working full time, 383 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,120 going to six meetings a week, 384 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,600 'cause Chuck said, "You got a family, Sunday, 385 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,000 "you stay home with your family 386 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,160 "and spend family time together." 387 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,840 Excuse me, so I was going to six meetings a week 388 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,560 and working full time. 389 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,200 And so after I read the big book from cover to cover, 390 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,200 he started taking the steps. 391 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,680 Now we take steps in a little different way. 392 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,400 A lot of people have a lot of different ways 393 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,360 of taking the steps. 394 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,400 We take the steps, or I did, by reading the step for a week 395 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,160 and then highlighting it the second week, 396 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,840 so I could get a good understanding of the step, 397 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,460 the principle in the step, you know? 398 00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:16,400 And so he started helping me understand the principle 399 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,480 in step one, step two, step three. 400 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,040 The first three steps are he called the foundation steps. 401 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,800 You know, those are like you put one, 402 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,600 you build a house that has a foundation 403 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,000 and the first three steps are the foundation steps. 404 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,680 They'll help you with any problem you may have, you know? 405 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,720 Admitting you're powerless over alcohol. 406 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,320 I'm also powerless over people, places and things. 407 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:38,000 And so step one being the powerlessness, 408 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,920 'cause I'm powerless, there's nothing I can do. 409 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,080 Step two is coming to believe that a power gainer 410 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,520 and myself could restore me to sanity. 411 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:47,040 I'm making myself crazy over this problem of the situation. 412 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,140 I'm making myself crazy. 413 00:15:48,140 --> 00:15:50,320 Then in step three, we gotta make a decision. 414 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,320 Okay, you've been bouncing this thing around in your head 415 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,880 for so long, long enough, 416 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,940 you have to make a decision to turn your will 417 00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:59,360 and your care and your care over to the care of God 418 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:00,360 or your higher power. 419 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,920 I know people have a problem with the word God, 420 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,360 but I'm gonna say it three times just so you remember it, 421 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,040 God, God, God, your higher power. 422 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,800 And once you make that decision, you know, 423 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,720 you're on your way. 424 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,160 Then you could power through the next five steps, 425 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,960 which is step four, five, six and seven. 426 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,560 Adam mentioned step seven, right? 427 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,280 Step seven, Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. 428 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,320 Now your shortcomings, you're gonna be identified 429 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,140 in step four, back in step four. 430 00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:28,000 So steps one, two or three are getting right with God 431 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:28,960 or your higher power. 432 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,040 Steps four, five, six and seven 433 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,280 are getting right with yourself, 434 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,080 identifying your shortcomings, 435 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,680 identifying your defects of character 436 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,400 and Humbly asking him, I had to do it on my knees 437 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,920 because that's how you demonstrate humility 438 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,000 according to my sponsor. 439 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000 And I believed him because I respected him 440 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,240 and he had helped me so far along on this path. 441 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,080 So I'm gonna do it. 442 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,420 So I humbly asked him to remove my shortcomings. 443 00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:53,240 Now it doesn't mean it's gonna happen right away. 444 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,680 It's gonna happen over time. 445 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,240 I still get mad at the poor clerk 446 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,400 or the now $20 an hour person that's working at McDonald's 447 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,880 and I'm in the drive through and I ask them for a hamburger 448 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,400 and they give me a cheeseburger, you know? 449 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,720 I still wanna put my hand through the, you know, 450 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,000 through the window, but today I have to act differently. 451 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,160 Today I have to act differently. 452 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,280 And so steps eight and nine, getting right with other people, 453 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,400 the people that I've harmed, making that list. 454 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,680 All it is just making the list. 455 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,920 Don't read into it, don't think into it, 456 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,640 don't lean people off 'cause you really didn't 457 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,720 do anything to them. 458 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:23,840 Put them on there just in case, 459 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,240 go over that with your sponsor. 460 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,640 So you just make that list and then make that direct amends. 461 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,160 Some of the hardest amends that I had to make 462 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,640 was to my family 'cause those are the ones 463 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,560 that were closest to me and the ones that I hurt the most. 464 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,520 You know, I really didn't mean to push my brother 465 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,760 off the bike when he got a new bike and I didn't 466 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,160 and it wound up chipping his tooth 467 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,080 and he had to get a tooth replacement, you know. 468 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,560 Back when he might've been 13 and I was 11 469 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,700 and something like that. 470 00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:47,880 And, but I had to make that amends. 471 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:52,080 And to my mother, many, many times while she was asleep, 472 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,080 I'd go and steal change out of her purse 473 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,880 so I can go get a little bottle of wine, 474 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,320 you know, a blackberry brandy, you know. 475 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,640 I had to make that amends and those were difficult, you know. 476 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:05,240 And so 10, 11, 12, people call those the maintenance steps. 477 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,800 I call them the service steps because that's where 478 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,720 I really got into action, you know. 479 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:15,300 Make direct amends, you know, as soon as possible, you know. 480 00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:17,220 I was a knucklehead, I could have, you know, 481 00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:19,980 hurried up and probably made it on time 482 00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:21,560 to have some of that porthos food. 483 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,220 But I missed out, I missed out. 484 00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:25,320 Now it's gonna cost me, you see, 485 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,160 now it's gonna cost me more. 486 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,960 I'm gonna have to take those breakfasts 487 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,320 or take them to dinner or something, you know. 488 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:33,560 And so I have to take, continue to take personal inventory. 489 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,320 And I promptly admit it. 490 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,040 And we all, I have to do that, you know. 491 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,480 'Cause I wanna be able to sleep by night. 492 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,500 I wanna be able to be comfortable, comfortable 493 00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,760 is the key word. 494 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,800 11 and 12, brain meditation. 495 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,160 And then taking this program to other people. 496 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,920 I work with guys that I sponsor, the ones that call me, 497 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,480 you know, people have asked me, you know, 498 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,840 how many guys do you sponsor? 499 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,920 I said, I don't know, maybe about half of them. 500 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,520 You know, if you want what I have 501 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,320 and you want that comfortability, you know, 502 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,120 you will call me, you take the suggestion. 503 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,500 These are just suggestions. 504 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:05,320 I don't make anybody do nothing 'cause I can't, 505 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,400 I'm powerless, I can't make you do nothing. 506 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,200 But I can tell you what's worked for me, 507 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,080 how I've been able to get comfortable, 508 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,820 how I've been able to get through things, 509 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,280 how I've been able to stay married for 42 years. 510 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,560 Here's some scars on my back, that's okay. 511 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,080 Y'all can't see those, thank you. 512 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,560 Oh, I've been gifted so much from this fellowship. 513 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,640 I've had the honor and privilege to go see Bill W's house 514 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,720 in Westchester, New York and see the office 515 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,840 where he wrote the 12 traditions. 516 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,240 Amazing, amazing. 517 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,520 But I left that as grounds 'cause it's a house 518 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,640 and then his office is a separate building 519 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,160 and they built a like a welcoming center 520 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,340 because it's now like a landmark in Westchester. 521 00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:45,280 I was elevated. 522 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,980 My cousin came to pick me up 'cause I said, 523 00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:48,680 "Hey, just drop me off and I'll come back 524 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:49,720 in a couple of hours." 525 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:50,980 'Cause I wanted to walk around. 526 00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:51,920 It was during the pandemic, 527 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,840 so they couldn't let me in to his house. 528 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,460 But once they found out that I was a trusted servant, 529 00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:59,080 they opened up the door for me, 530 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,160 allowed me to look in, you know, amazing, amazing. 531 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,120 I was so blessed. 532 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,760 And towards the end of last year, 533 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,120 I had an opportunity to go to Akron, 534 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,760 birthplace of Alcoholics Anonymous. 535 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,360 Woo, you talk about amazing. 536 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,600 Wow, dude. 537 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,520 I owe a debt of gratitude to Dr. Bob 538 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,200 for sitting down with Bill, Bill W, 539 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,120 having that long conversation all night long 540 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,880 at Henrietta Seiberling's house, 541 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,360 now called the Gate House. 542 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,680 Oh, now it's called the Lodge. 543 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,240 And I got an opportunity to see that 544 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,360 and sit near there, not in any, 545 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:32,780 'cause you know, once again, it's a landmark. 546 00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:37,000 Henrietta Seiberling's house is a landmark, 547 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,560 as well as Dr. Bob's house. 548 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,240 We got to sit in the kitchen. 549 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,120 Now they didn't allow us to sit in the kitchen 550 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:47,920 where Dr. Bob and Bill sat and had coffee and cookies. 551 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:52,120 And they showed us where Dr. Bob hired his little bottles, 552 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,120 bottles of gin and that kind of stuff, 553 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,940 and how they, he would put them down in the chute, 554 00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:58,960 the laundry chute, and those houses back 555 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,440 in the Midwest and the East Coast, 556 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,040 they have laundry chutes. 557 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,120 And so he put his bottle down there 558 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,480 and dropped the bottle in the chute, 559 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,640 and then go down there later and hide it somewhere 560 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,680 so that his wife wouldn't find it, you know? 561 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,440 And so amazing. 562 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,640 You talk about coming back, feeling a debt, 563 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,400 so much debt, gratitude for this fellowship. 564 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,680 And you know, it all happened 565 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,320 because I went from a grave place, 566 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,200 finding, thinking I had no way out, 567 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,400 drinking, can't stop drinking, had a drink, 568 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,100 had to have one to settle down, 569 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:32,040 had to have one to cut the edge, get the heat off. 570 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,680 So going from a grave to grace, 571 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,120 and that's finding this fellowship. 572 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,620 This is grace right here. 573 00:21:36,620 --> 00:21:38,340 You're in the middle of grace, you know? 574 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:39,400 Whether you know it or not. 575 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:40,300 And then glory. 576 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:41,840 When you come through on the other side, 577 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,400 when you finally get this program, 578 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,720 when the light turns on, you say, 579 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,080 wow, that's what this is all about. 580 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,040 The language of the heart. 581 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:50,520 This is what they mean by you will know a new freedom 582 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:51,680 and a new happiness. 583 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,720 Those are promises to leave you. 584 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,000 That doesn't mean that all your bills are gonna get paid 585 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,760 and you're gonna have to drive a brand new car 586 00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,720 and you know, do what you wanna do. 587 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,640 But just that fear that Adam mentioned, 588 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,400 that fear of financial insecurity will leave us, you know? 589 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,120 And so I don't talk about my son a lot. 590 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,940 When he was three or four, when I first got to the program, 591 00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:12,600 and you guys taught me how to be a father. 592 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,600 You guys taught me how to be a coach. 593 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,840 The men and women of this program taught me 594 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,800 how to be the best father that I can be 595 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,020 and break the chain. 596 00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:21,740 'Cause my father was a daily drinker. 597 00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:23,200 I believe he was an alcoholic. 598 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:24,480 I can't call him an alcoholic. 599 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:25,880 He's dead and passed on right now. 600 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,280 But I knew I didn't wanna be like him 601 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,440 'cause he ruled with an iron fist 602 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,480 and ruled with fear and intimidation, you know? 603 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:34,800 If he said throw out the garbage 604 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,720 and you didn't move fast enough, boom! 605 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,040 You got punched in the chest. 606 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,280 I'm talking about 12, 13 years old. 607 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,600 I didn't quite have the body and physique that I have now. 608 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,760 I was 12, 13 now, come on now. 609 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,880 I was a bony little kid, you know? 610 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,000 So I'm still kind of bony and still a little kid. 611 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,440 But you guys taught me how to be a better dad. 612 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,760 And so that three or four year old son when I got sober, 613 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,280 grew up, I went to the best university on the West Coast, 614 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,040 went to Berkeley for undergrad school 615 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,000 and gets better, gets better, gets better, gets better. 616 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,860 Like I said, the best university on the West Coast. 617 00:23:08,860 --> 00:23:10,840 And while he was going for business, 618 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,320 then at some point he said, 619 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:17,320 "Dad, I took a law class and I'm really excited about law 620 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,720 and I wanna apply to law school." 621 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,320 I said, "Hey, go ahead and apply. 622 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,240 Just go ahead and apply." 623 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,800 So he said, "Well, I wanna get my MBA while I'm there. 624 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:28,520 So it's two applications and each application is 200 bucks." 625 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,600 I'm like, "Well, why don't you limit the schools 626 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,320 you wanna apply to?" 627 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,520 And so he wound up going to Temple University 628 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,080 in Philadelphia for law school. 629 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,620 And while he was there law school, 630 00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:41,440 they told him that he said he wanted to go to the grad school 631 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,000 to business school and get his MBA. 632 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,460 And whose kid is this? 633 00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:45,300 Whose kid is this? 634 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,920 So he got accepted. 635 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:51,640 They said, "We usually have people that are 27 years old 636 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,840 and had a few years of working experience." 637 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,040 He had a couple of internships, 638 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,120 but he didn't have any work experience 639 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:59,440 'cause he went from undergrad to law school. 640 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,200 And now he's trying to get into the grad school, 641 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,040 the business school. 642 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,080 So anyway, they granted him an interview. 643 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,140 He got an email a few days later that said, 644 00:24:06,140 --> 00:24:07,760 "Congratulations, you've been accepted 645 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,240 into the business school." 646 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,780 So he got into the business school and got his MBA. 647 00:24:11,780 --> 00:24:13,680 After law school and grad school, 648 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,240 and we went back to Philadelphia, 649 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,640 we were cheering and going crazy. 650 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,200 All my family from New York came down 651 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,080 because it's the first lawyer in the family, so to speak, 652 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:23,160 in the immediate family. 653 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,880 And we had a great time. 654 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:29,360 And so he came back and drove his car back 655 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:33,560 from the East Coast and took a week off from vacation, 656 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,080 went to Puerto Rico for a week. 657 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,800 And he said, well, he went, took the bar, 658 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,120 he studied for the bar exam, 659 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,120 passed the bar in the first city, okay? 660 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:45,120 The day he was sworn in as a California lawyer was amazing. 661 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:47,540 So amazing, it was incredible. 662 00:24:47,540 --> 00:24:50,200 One other thing that he did was he married a woman 663 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,460 that was a childhood friend of ours and of his, 664 00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:55,760 and she popped out two boys. 665 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,600 So now I had two grandsons 666 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,980 and they're following behind his footsteps. 667 00:25:00,980 --> 00:25:03,120 As a result of the pandemic, 668 00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:06,400 my son started taking them to karate. 669 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,600 And so he said, well, heck, I'm taking them to karate. 670 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:09,960 I might as well start taking this too, 671 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,960 'cause I'm here, I'm waiting on them, you know? 672 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,960 So he was just awarded his black belt. 673 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,840 So my son has a black belt in karate. 674 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,640 And my oldest grandson, who's 10, 675 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,680 qualifies now to become a black belt. 676 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,520 And so he's a black belt candidate. 677 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:28,520 And lastly, my son became a adjunct professor at USC, 678 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,880 thank you, teaching a law class this summer. 679 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:37,640 And say UCLA, I'm sorry about that, sorry about that. 680 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,680 Amazing, you know? 681 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,720 He is a byproduct of this program. 682 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,440 And if you stick around long enough, 683 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,480 you don't know what could happen. 684 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:45,520 You never know what could happen. 685 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,640 You just gotta give this program a chance. 686 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,940 Thank you for calling me Ben 687 00:25:49,940 --> 00:25:51,880 and asking me to do this tonight, 688 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,040 although it was a holiday weekend. 689 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:55,680 Thank you all for being here tonight. 690 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:56,500 God bless you. 691 00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:59,360 And I hope you stick around and give this program a chance. 692 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:00,200 Thank you.