1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,100 My name is Chloe and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. 2 00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:08,660 My sobriety date is October the 21st, 1957. 3 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,820 And I thank you for the invitation 4 00:00:10,820 --> 00:00:12,260 to your group meeting tonight. 5 00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:15,180 And I think about coming into this fellowship, 6 00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:16,100 what it meant to me. 7 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:19,260 I knew nothing of alcoholic anonymous. 8 00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:22,260 Nobody had never told me anything about AA 9 00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:24,660 or I never heard anything about AA. 10 00:00:24,660 --> 00:00:26,340 I was a nurse at that time. 11 00:00:26,340 --> 00:00:27,900 And in that nursing program, 12 00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:31,020 they didn't teach us anything about alcoholism 13 00:00:31,020 --> 00:00:33,620 other than an alcoholic is a drunk 14 00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:37,660 and he's gonna die anyway, so we don't worry about him. 15 00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:40,260 That was the attitude they had toward people 16 00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:41,300 that was drinking. 17 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:44,860 So that's all the information I knew about alcoholism. 18 00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:49,860 So I was introduced to alcohol at a wedding reception. 19 00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:52,660 I had never had a drink 20 00:00:52,660 --> 00:00:55,060 and they invited me to this wedding reception 21 00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:58,180 and they insisted on telling me that this fountain 22 00:00:58,180 --> 00:01:00,980 was just like Kool-Aid that you can drink this 23 00:01:00,980 --> 00:01:03,520 and it won't bother you at all. 24 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:07,000 So I had my first drink at a wedding reception 25 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,460 and at that drink, I took that drink, 26 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:11,500 I took one drink of that fountain 27 00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:14,540 and I stayed there drinking until I fell out 28 00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:16,300 at that wedding reception. 29 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:19,740 So alcoholism was a problem from the very beginning 30 00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:22,060 and I drank on occasions 31 00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:25,380 and each time it made my life so unmanageable. 32 00:01:25,380 --> 00:01:28,020 Things got so dark from drinking, 33 00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:32,540 you lose your feelings of life with the alcohol. 34 00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:36,760 So I didn't know anything about alcoholism. 35 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,780 So I had a birthday party on the 21st of October 36 00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:42,820 and I had that birthday party 37 00:01:42,820 --> 00:01:44,980 and I invited these people to come 38 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:48,180 and I thought these people were nice, wonderful people. 39 00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:51,700 I invited a fire dancer and she set my house on fire. 40 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:53,140 I thought about that. 41 00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:56,180 So I thought, well, these people are my problem. 42 00:01:56,180 --> 00:01:59,120 If I get rid of these people, I'd be all right. 43 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,620 I would never have a problem. 44 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,900 These are the folks that's causing me to feel bad 45 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:05,380 and causing me this problem. 46 00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:07,980 So I put all those people out of my house 47 00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:09,780 after they put out the fire. 48 00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:13,900 Then I laid down on my couch and I went to sleep 49 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:16,460 and then I heard a song on my radio 50 00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:17,860 and it was "The Love of God" 51 00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:21,060 and the guy said, "Somebody out there need to hear this." 52 00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:25,300 So he began to play this song over again, "The Love of God." 53 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,540 He played this song about three times 54 00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:29,840 and I heard this song and I got up 55 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,780 and I went to my radio to see what station it was on 56 00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:35,140 and my radio wasn't even on. 57 00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:38,480 So at that time I thought I had lost my mind. 58 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:39,320 (laughing) 59 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,820 So I called, I picked up the phone and called the operator 60 00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:44,460 and told her I need help. 61 00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:47,620 But this lady said nothing to me on the phone. 62 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,780 She connected me to the central office 63 00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:51,300 of alcoholic analysis. 64 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:54,500 And when the woman asked me serious questions like, 65 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,820 "What is your name?" 66 00:02:55,820 --> 00:02:57,540 I got suspicious of this woman. 67 00:02:57,540 --> 00:02:59,380 (laughing) 68 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,020 She had maybe connected me to the mental institution 69 00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:03,780 and I better be careful. 70 00:03:03,780 --> 00:03:06,540 And then she asked me for my telephone number 71 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:08,940 and I knew she had went too far then. 72 00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:11,220 So I was very careful about that. 73 00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:12,500 I wouldn't give her my number, 74 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:14,500 I gave her my mother's number. 75 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:18,180 And I hadn't been to my mother's house in weeks, 76 00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:19,700 but I gave her my mother's number 77 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,900 and I went back to sleep 78 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,900 and forgot about this telephone call. 79 00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:25,180 But about 3.30 in the morning, I woke up 80 00:03:25,180 --> 00:03:26,260 and I had a desire. 81 00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:28,180 I said, "Maybe I go to my mother's house. 82 00:03:28,180 --> 00:03:29,980 "I know she'd be glad to see me 83 00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:33,040 "and I'll have dinner with her. 84 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,040 "It'd be a great thing. 85 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,600 "It's my birthday and we'll have dinner together." 86 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,660 So at 3.30 in the morning, I was in Detroit, Michigan. 87 00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:42,640 You walk out over there in the dark at 3.30 in the morning. 88 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,060 So I went over there and she opened the door. 89 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,660 When she heard all me run at the door, 90 00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:50,540 she knew something seriously had happened. 91 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:53,060 So I went in her house and went right in her room 92 00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:54,540 and went to bed and went to sleep. 93 00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:57,400 So I was sleeping there and the next morning, 94 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,780 my mother came and she woke me up 95 00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,700 and she said I had a telephone call. 96 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,460 I said, "Who could be calling me here? 97 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,220 "I didn't even know I was gonna be here. 98 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:07,140 "So who's gonna be on the phone?" 99 00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:09,900 So she went to the phone and she answered the phone 100 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:12,700 and she came back and told me that it was a lady. 101 00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:15,280 She said she's from Alcoholic Anonymous 102 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,100 and I suggest you get up and answer that phone. 103 00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,740 So I went to the phone and this lady 104 00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:21,220 kept telling me about a meeting. 105 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:23,200 "I want you to come to this meeting." 106 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,040 And she kept talking about this meeting 107 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,340 so I thought she must be selling some products 108 00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:30,640 so she wouldn't be able to buy something from me. 109 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,180 So I told her, "Okay, I'll come." 110 00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:36,420 I said, "I'll meet you there." 111 00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:38,520 She said, "Oh no, I'll pick you up." 112 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,980 (laughing) 113 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:40,900 No, I'll come. 114 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:43,620 She said, "I'll pick you up." 115 00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:46,460 So I said she really want me to buy this stuff. 116 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,740 She don't come to get me. 117 00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:49,200 So she came and picked me up 118 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,720 and she took me to this meeting 119 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:54,660 and that was my first introduction to Alcoholic Anonymous. 120 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,780 You know, it was a spiritual experience 121 00:04:56,780 --> 00:05:00,260 because my radio wasn't even on 122 00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:03,380 and it was an act of God that got me to that meeting 123 00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:06,420 'cause I didn't know nothing about Alcoholic Anonymous 124 00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:08,080 and I didn't know nothing about 125 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,960 when this radio wasn't even on 126 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,940 and going to this meeting and giving them my mother's number 127 00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,060 and I hadn't been to my mother's house in weeks 128 00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:18,500 and I ended up there and got this telephone call. 129 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,900 So it was an act of grace, you know. 130 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,860 So this first meeting I went to, 131 00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:25,860 I didn't, I was going around asking people. 132 00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:29,320 I'd say, I heard them talk about alcoholism and everything. 133 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,580 So I said to them, I said, 134 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,860 "Do you think I'm an alcoholic?" 135 00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:34,940 And the people didn't say nothing to me 136 00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:36,420 so I kept worrying them. 137 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:39,620 They said, "Why don't you ask the lady that brought you?" 138 00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:41,060 So I went there and I asked her, 139 00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:43,140 "Do you think that I'm an alcoholic?" 140 00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:46,540 I said, "You know, I haven't been drinking that long. 141 00:05:46,540 --> 00:05:48,140 "Do you think I'm an alcoholic?" 142 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,460 And I was an alcoholic 143 00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:52,460 because I fell out of that first drink I had 144 00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:55,420 and that was a series of what happened every time I drank. 145 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,720 So I didn't know that I was an alcoholic 146 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,820 because I didn't know what alcoholism was. 147 00:05:59,820 --> 00:06:01,080 But the lady said to me, 148 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,380 "Well, maybe Gloria, maybe you're not an alcoholic." 149 00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:06,840 And I was so happy she died. 150 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:10,180 So I told her, so I was just so pleased. 151 00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:13,540 I said, "She's able to see all of my qualities." 152 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,660 And she, you know, I'm not that person, 153 00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,300 whoever that is, you know. 154 00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,740 They say, "Maybe you're not an alcoholic. 155 00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:23,220 "Maybe you're just a drunken bitch." 156 00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:24,940 (all laughing) 157 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:26,420 So mad. 158 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,060 She made me so angry. 159 00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:31,700 (all laughing) 160 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:35,940 I went to every meeting she went to for about six weeks 161 00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:38,740 because I would not give her the satisfaction 162 00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:42,420 of thinking I would drink the nerve of her thinking that. 163 00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:45,740 So I'm following this lady all around to these meetings. 164 00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:49,580 And at this meeting, I was sitting down one night 165 00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:51,440 and a boy said to me softly, 166 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,300 "You haven't had a drink, had you?" 167 00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:55,500 And I had to answer, "No, I hadn't." 168 00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,960 He said, "You hadn't needed a drink, had you?" 169 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,060 And I had to answer to myself, "No, I didn't need a drink." 170 00:07:01,060 --> 00:07:04,380 And that was the night I got sober and alcoholic anonymous. 171 00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:06,520 Although I hadn't been drinking prior, 172 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,800 but I got sober that night. 173 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,580 And then they introduced me to this program. 174 00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:13,260 They introduced me to the big book. 175 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:15,260 They introduced me to these steps 176 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,900 and they suggested that this is a program 177 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:19,680 that you know these principles, 178 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,980 if we could work these principles and you'd be all right. 179 00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,300 So I looked at these steps 180 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:26,100 and these steps is not easy to take. 181 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,180 You know, these steps is very hard. 182 00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:30,380 I got very irritated looking at these steps 183 00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:32,340 and they telling me about these steps 184 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:34,580 and asking me things about, you know, 185 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:37,980 you had to talk to somebody else about your affairs 186 00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:40,100 and you got to get a sponsor 187 00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,640 and you got to do all these things. 188 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,140 I say, that's an awful lot to ask of anybody, you know? 189 00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:48,060 So I wasn't prepared to do these steps in the beginning, 190 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:50,820 you know, but they insisted that just keep coming 191 00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:51,980 and you're going to be all right. 192 00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:53,780 Well, at the meetings I went to, 193 00:07:53,780 --> 00:07:56,700 I had an opportunity to be at meetings with Bill Wilson 194 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:59,220 and listen to him share with us. 195 00:07:59,220 --> 00:08:02,020 He shared mostly about service. 196 00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:04,260 He kept telling us about service. 197 00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:05,940 We had to get into service. 198 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:08,260 So after we was there for a short while, 199 00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:10,380 you don't be there long for a short while, 200 00:08:10,380 --> 00:08:12,700 you had to go out and do a 12 step call, 201 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,500 even though we hadn't got the understanding 202 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,920 of these principles yet, 203 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,060 but they let us go 12 step calls 204 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:22,000 to help pick up other people that was drinking 205 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,680 because people weren't dying out there in this disease. 206 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:28,380 So two of us would go and we would pick up people 207 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:29,680 and bring them to the meeting 208 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,580 and help them with their sobriety. 209 00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:34,740 In those smoking rooms, they were smoking 210 00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:36,860 and then you had to wash coffee cups 211 00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:39,860 and you had to clean up the place and stuff like that. 212 00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:43,540 So, you know, that was my beginning introduction into it. 213 00:08:43,540 --> 00:08:45,860 But you know, I looked at these steps 214 00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:49,860 and these steps was an opportunity for a new life 215 00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:52,140 because these steps is about living. 216 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,080 It's about life. 217 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,460 If you open your mind to receive them, you know, 218 00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:58,940 the steps talk about making a decision to turn your will 219 00:08:58,940 --> 00:09:00,680 in life over to the care of God. 220 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:03,380 At first, I looked at that step and I said, 221 00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:06,120 now this is some kind of religious organization 222 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,900 that they tried to introduce me to, but it wasn't that. 223 00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:11,420 It was a step that would give us an opportunity 224 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,800 to have a life if we're willing to accept it. 225 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,420 So I accepted these steps, these principles of recovery, 226 00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:18,940 'cause that's what the steps is, 227 00:09:18,940 --> 00:09:21,140 is the principles, you know, of recovery. 228 00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:24,820 So I looked at it and became willing to accept these steps. 229 00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:27,860 If we grow along these steps, we don't take these steps. 230 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,620 We sit here and read these steps like it was just there. 231 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:33,440 All we had to do is just read them and apply them 232 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,380 and go to meetings and the steps would work for us that way. 233 00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:38,660 They don't work for us that way. 234 00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:41,140 These steps is that we had to open our mind 235 00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:43,560 and open our heart and commit ourselves to these steps. 236 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,340 They are spiritual experience. 237 00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:48,020 Each one of these steps are spiritual steps 238 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:51,060 that will give us a new way of life if we will accept it. 239 00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:53,540 So beginning to look at these steps 240 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:56,180 and go through this process of recovery 241 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,060 and go through this process of being willing to, 242 00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:01,700 be willing to let go and let God, you know, 243 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,180 and that was what it took for the beginning 244 00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:06,340 to have a spiritual experience. 245 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:07,340 You have to be willing. 246 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:10,260 You have a spiritual experience go through these steps. 247 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:12,620 This is, that's not a journey through these steps 248 00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:14,420 and that's all there is to it. 249 00:10:14,420 --> 00:10:16,080 It's a spiritual experience. 250 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,560 There's a whole new way of life that's open to you 251 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,940 if you will accept these principles of recovery. 252 00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:24,220 So I was very grateful for what those people 253 00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:27,380 tried to teach me and I was grateful that they took the time 254 00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:29,900 to show me the way and I was willing to follow 255 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,500 these principles of recovery. 256 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:36,500 And you know, there came a time when I was working 257 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:40,620 with some young guys and we were trying to do the book. 258 00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:43,260 We would go out and study this book at night. 259 00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:46,380 We would go out and sit in the car and put the, 260 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:49,840 had a flashlight and we would study the big book 261 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:50,940 at night that way. 262 00:10:50,940 --> 00:10:53,660 So I thought one day I said it'd be nice 263 00:10:53,660 --> 00:10:57,620 if we had a place to go so we could get into recovery. 264 00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:59,180 So they said that'd be great. 265 00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:02,460 So I said, I'll call a real estate person and see about it. 266 00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:05,220 So I called this real estate man and told him 267 00:11:05,220 --> 00:11:07,240 I wanted him to show me some property. 268 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,420 And I hadn't forgot, I didn't have no money, 269 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,620 but that was okay. 270 00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:12,460 (laughing) 271 00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:15,260 So I called the man and the man took me out 272 00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:16,300 and showed me a house. 273 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,420 He took me at night and showed me this house. 274 00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:22,760 And he said, you know, this is, I can't take you inside 275 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,620 because it's, it doesn't have any lights on, 276 00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:28,320 but you could see it if you think about it. 277 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,620 And I'll come the next day and show you the house. 278 00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:33,440 So I say, I'll just walk around and look at the house. 279 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,740 So I walked around the house and everything. 280 00:11:35,740 --> 00:11:38,420 And then I told the man, I said, well, I tell you what, 281 00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:42,620 why don't you let me add a key and let me go inside 282 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,820 and look at it, you know, tonight. 283 00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:46,420 And I'll let you know tomorrow 284 00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:48,100 whether I want this house or not. 285 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,300 Man say, well, I can't do nothing like that. 286 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,660 You know, cause I don't give you my key. 287 00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:56,480 So I said, well, I had $3, you could have this $3. 288 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,460 So I gave the man the $3 and the man looked at me 289 00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:02,660 and for whatever reason, he gave me the key to his house. 290 00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:05,620 And I was able to go in the house and look around. 291 00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:07,020 And I called up my friends. 292 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:08,860 I said, come on over, let's have a meeting. 293 00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:11,060 So they came over and my camera was like, 294 00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:15,400 we had a meeting that night and we collected enough money 295 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,980 where I was able to call the guy the next day 296 00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:19,660 and rent the place. 297 00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:22,700 So that was the beginning of a treatment facility. 298 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,900 They had no treatment facilities in Detroit at that time. 299 00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:27,700 That was the first treatment facility 300 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,220 that was open in Detroit at that time. 301 00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:35,220 So, you know, if we are willing to let go and let God, 302 00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:36,980 he will direct your life. 303 00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:39,300 You know, he would take you where you need to go 304 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,680 and he would develop you where you're supposed to be. 305 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,340 We have, each one of us have a purpose in life 306 00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:47,380 and that purpose need to be fulfilled. 307 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,740 But it's only when we're willing to let go and let God, 308 00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:52,900 that God will direct us to the fulfillment 309 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,840 of the purpose of our life if we let it. 310 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,700 So we started treatment programs 311 00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:59,740 and we started several treatment programs 312 00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:02,220 that I was able to work with Motown Records 313 00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:04,220 that was in Detroit at that time. 314 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:07,060 And I was able to work with several entertainers there. 315 00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:09,820 And when they decided to come to California, 316 00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:11,660 I came with them to California 317 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,240 and we started some programs here in California. 318 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,540 But God directed that program and started it 319 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:19,640 and we had men living in the house. 320 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,920 We have a treatment facility with men 321 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,620 and they would, you know, these men was great guys. 322 00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,800 Like these great guys I said, they were great guys. 323 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,600 I had no problem with these men. 324 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,380 I lived in the house with them 325 00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:34,300 and had no problem with none of these people 326 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:36,540 for years that I've worked in rehab. 327 00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:41,100 I worked for about 25, 50 years working in rehab 328 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:44,340 with rehab centers and working with people in recovery. 329 00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:47,820 So I'm saying that this program will work 330 00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:50,700 and you will find your purpose in life. 331 00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,940 You'll be directed to your purpose in life 332 00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:56,700 if you open your mind and receive this program as it is. 333 00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:59,300 You know, this program is a gift from God 334 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,920 because everything you need, you grow along these steps. 335 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,220 You never complete them. 336 00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:06,460 It's a process of continuing to grow. 337 00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:09,100 You know, sometimes people think, 338 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:11,780 well, I undid the 12 steps that are now, 339 00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:13,180 I'm just going to meetings. 340 00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:14,940 You don't finish these steps. 341 00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:17,460 These steps is a daily experience 342 00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:19,380 that we work through this process 343 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,340 of these steps that we're working out like. 344 00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:24,220 The 10th step is one that keeps us connected 345 00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:25,820 to the rest of the steps. 346 00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:28,540 And that's a daily experience that we go through. 347 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:31,700 So I'm grateful that I was able to do that. 348 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,700 I was grateful for the people that I met along the way. 349 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:38,780 There was so many, I was able to go to conferences 350 00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:41,340 with Bill Wilson and one of the conferences 351 00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:44,060 that we went to, I will never forget it 352 00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:46,780 because it was about 3000 people there. 353 00:14:46,780 --> 00:14:49,980 He had us stand and hold hands and sing a song. 354 00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:53,100 And his sound was, "It's no secret what God can do. 355 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,520 "What he's done for others, he will do for you. 356 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,340 "And with arms wide open, he welcomes you. 357 00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:01,780 "It's no secret what God can do." 358 00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:05,220 And that has always stayed with me in that room that night 359 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:08,520 with all those people committed to singing that song. 360 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,900 And he led us through that process of recovery. 361 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:15,580 And he would often lead us to being a service 362 00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:18,200 and he didn't play around with people. 363 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,060 He didn't have no working with you 364 00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:24,180 and let you not have any program. 365 00:15:24,180 --> 00:15:26,340 You had to have a program and you had to be active 366 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,900 and you had to be busy. 367 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:29,940 So I was grateful for that 368 00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:32,220 because he taught us the right way. 369 00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:35,300 He taught us how this program will work in your life 370 00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:39,300 and the life you will have if you follow these directions, 371 00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:43,020 if you follow this rule and open your heart to it, 372 00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,500 it will work for you. 373 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,620 So I had a chance to, 374 00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:50,860 one of the experiences that I had was going to Ohio 375 00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:52,220 and going to Akron. 376 00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:56,780 You talk about Akron, but I lived in Detroit 377 00:15:56,780 --> 00:15:59,060 so I was close to Akron, but I never went. 378 00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:01,060 But I decided to go to Akron 379 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,760 'til I had to speak at a conference in Akron. 380 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:07,700 So going to Akron on that plane, it was like going home 381 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:11,180 because Akron is a home for alcoholic anonymous. 382 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:14,220 It's our home whether we wanna accept it that way or not. 383 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:17,340 It's where this program began and where it grew from, 384 00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:18,420 Akron, you know. 385 00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:20,900 And going to that home and being in the house 386 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:23,440 where Bill Wilson, where Dr. Bob was 387 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,460 and things were so different with him. 388 00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:30,400 He had an altar with a Bible and a big book 389 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,820 and you had to do both of them to be in his program. 390 00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:38,540 And so that was the experience that we lived with you 391 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,460 and we all need to go to Akron. 392 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:43,500 You need to go home and see where this program began. 393 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,260 You need to meet and it was, 394 00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:48,380 they could shut down the streets and everything in Akron. 395 00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:51,500 There was these guys, these men. 396 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:54,740 It was about, oh, about two or 3,000 men 397 00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:58,220 that was on motorcycles that came from all over the world 398 00:16:58,220 --> 00:16:59,940 that came to Akron that day 399 00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:02,980 and they drove these motorcycles through Akron 400 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:07,020 to Dr. Bob's grave and they put flowers on his grave. 401 00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:10,280 And that's an experience you really need to feel 402 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,820 that these men come from all over the world at that day 403 00:17:13,820 --> 00:17:16,240 and put flowers on his grave. 404 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:21,240 So that was so many experiences you find in this program 405 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,760 that you could live with that will carry you. 406 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:28,760 And it was so many, going out and doing 12 step work, 407 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:31,480 it was, you didn't just, 408 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:35,020 you had to go and skid row in places like that 409 00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,820 and work directly with people. 410 00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:39,180 You had to take them and clean them up sometime 411 00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:43,060 and you had to give them a pass, do different things 412 00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:44,820 to get them to a position 413 00:17:44,820 --> 00:17:47,140 where they were able to come to meetings 414 00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:50,440 and be able to function in this program. 415 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,020 So, what we see today is so easy. 416 00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:58,440 We just come and we just sit to do two meetings a week 417 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,600 and we done did our share, you know? 418 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,720 But that's not the way it works, you know? 419 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,680 We had to, each one of these meetings 420 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,020 is a part of our growth and development 421 00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:10,440 and should be of service. 422 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,940 We come to learn how to help other people to find their way. 423 00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:16,600 And it's sad that we sit here 424 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,140 and watch young people die in this disease 425 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,600 when you have the answer. 426 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,140 In your sobriety, you have been given the answer 427 00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:24,560 to how this program works. 428 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,820 You have been given the answer to sobriety 429 00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:29,440 and you've been given the gift of sobriety. 430 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:32,980 And yet we sit in these rooms comfortable with ourselves 431 00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:34,980 and watch all these young people out here 432 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,060 die in this disease of addiction. 433 00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:39,440 And you have the same process 434 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,980 will work for them as work for us. 435 00:18:41,980 --> 00:18:44,400 And we need to be willing to be a service 436 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,660 to step outside of these meetings, 437 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:48,440 congratulate in each other 438 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,160 and go out and do something to help these young people. 439 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,940 So, I'm just grateful 440 00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:56,440 and I thank you all for the invitation to invite me here. 441 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,760 However, I did my time. 442 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,140 Oh, it was about this young man 443 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:03,440 and they lived on the farm in the country 444 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:07,740 and it wasn't no, they had nothing. 445 00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:11,680 There was no cars, no, they didn't even have a mule. 446 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,100 They had nothing. 447 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,820 And the father had to go to town 448 00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:18,100 to get grow food at the market. 449 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:20,780 He had to walk through the woods to get to town. 450 00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:23,400 And this little boy, he asked his father, he said, 451 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,740 "Daddy, the next time you go to town, 452 00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:26,740 would you take me?" 453 00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:28,320 And the father promised him 454 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,560 that he would take him next time he went to town. 455 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,940 But these people live with very few of anything. 456 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:34,940 They had nothing. 457 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,600 So, the day came that the father had to go to town 458 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,220 and the little boy asked him, could he go with him? 459 00:19:41,220 --> 00:19:43,220 And the father told him, yes. 460 00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:46,640 So, they went walking through the woods, going to town. 461 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,900 And on the way to the journey to the woods, 462 00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,520 the little boy got a little tired 463 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,600 'cause it was a long way to the woods. 464 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,560 So, the little boy asked his father, 465 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,860 he said, "Daddy," he said, "I'm tired, can I sit down?" 466 00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:00,980 So, the father found a little tree trunk 467 00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:02,440 for him to sit down on. 468 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,540 And he said, "You sit here until I come back." 469 00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:06,660 He gave him a light. 470 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:08,980 He said, "Hold this little light till I get back." 471 00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:10,500 And the little boy said, "Yes." 472 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,620 Well, after the father had left, 473 00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:15,980 there was some people came along and they saw the little boy 474 00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:17,760 and they started making fun of him. 475 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,800 They said, "What are you sitting out here for 476 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,380 in the woods by yourself? 477 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:23,580 Why are you sitting there with nothing? 478 00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:24,760 What's wrong with you?" 479 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,340 And they made fun and laughed at the little boy 480 00:20:27,340 --> 00:20:28,180 and everything. 481 00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:31,260 But the little boy, he sit there and he held the light 482 00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:32,940 and the people moved on. 483 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:36,820 It began to rain and it poured down rain on the little boy. 484 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,620 And the little boy got soaking wet, 485 00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:40,700 but the little boy held the light. 486 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,980 It got dark, it got night, the little boy got afraid 487 00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:47,260 because he saw shadows and he thought it was animals. 488 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:51,060 So, he was afraid, but the little boy held the light 489 00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,300 till he saw his father coming down the road. 490 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:55,020 So, his father came down the road 491 00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,860 and he ran and met his father. 492 00:20:56,860 --> 00:20:59,740 And he said, "Well, daddy," he said, "some people came by 493 00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:01,200 and they made fun of me. 494 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,840 They laughed at me, but I held the light. 495 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,300 In your recovery, there will be people 496 00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:09,140 that will make fun of you, that will criticize you 497 00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:11,620 and not understand what you're doing, 498 00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:14,500 trying to go to meetings and trying to stay sober, 499 00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:15,900 trying to do the right thing. 500 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,980 But you know, we have to hold the light. 501 00:21:17,980 --> 00:21:20,140 We have to hold the message of recovery." 502 00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:23,860 And then the rain, he said, "Daddy, it rained on me 503 00:21:23,860 --> 00:21:26,500 and I got soaking wet, but I held the light." 504 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:30,080 So, there will become times when you will go through trouble 505 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,900 and you go through some goods and some bads 506 00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:34,380 sometime in recovery. 507 00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:37,580 But you know, we have to hold on to this gift of, 508 00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:38,900 this God-given gift 509 00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,220 'cause God gave us our gift of recovery. 510 00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:44,380 We didn't get sober on our own, it was a gift from God. 511 00:21:44,380 --> 00:21:47,820 But so, we need to hold on to this light of recovery. 512 00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:51,020 And then it got, we get afraid sometimes. 513 00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:52,940 We think we can't make it, you know, 514 00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:55,220 we think of the rents, do things, 515 00:21:55,220 --> 00:21:57,420 have not got laid off on my job. 516 00:21:57,420 --> 00:21:59,200 All these things happen to us, 517 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,260 but we wanna, don't know what to do. 518 00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:05,140 But if we hold on to this information, to these principles, 519 00:22:05,140 --> 00:22:07,700 to this way of life, that it will work for us. 520 00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:09,580 If we hold on to it, you know. 521 00:22:09,580 --> 00:22:13,020 So, you know, and running this race of recovery, 522 00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:15,060 when we get to the end of the line, 523 00:22:15,060 --> 00:22:17,780 when we get to that place we wanted to go to, 524 00:22:17,780 --> 00:22:19,060 we get to our Father. 525 00:22:19,060 --> 00:22:20,940 We could say to our Father that, you know, 526 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:24,620 Daddy had rained on me, and people made fun of me, 527 00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:27,900 and I had got afraid, but I held the light. 528 00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:31,700 And God will say to us, "Well done," if we do His will. 529 00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:35,740 So there is a process, there is a gift in recovery. 530 00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:38,860 I've had a completely beautiful life in recovery. 531 00:22:38,860 --> 00:22:42,140 I've, God has blessed me tremendously, 532 00:22:42,140 --> 00:22:45,180 and it came from just a willingness to be willing, 533 00:22:45,180 --> 00:22:48,460 and a willingness to follow, and do what was asked of me. 534 00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:49,980 And that's what I do today. 535 00:22:49,980 --> 00:22:52,420 And I thank you for inviting me to your meeting.