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 Hi everybody. Can anybody hear me? Okay. My name is Scott. I'm an alcoholic and I live in Las Vegas.

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 I want to thank Nate for asking me to and setting all this up and asking me. I don't know if Nate

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 is in the audience but anyway I was always taught to never say no and I have something to offer no

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 matter how much I feel like I don't. I was taught to say yes and to step up when the time comes if

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 anybody anywhere reaches out for the help of AA I want I want to be there and try to help okay. So

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 um zoom is very foreign to me. I feel very very out of my element like a fish out of water. I had

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 trouble setting this up and uh anyway I had uh yeah go ahead cry me tear a river of tears Tommy.

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 Um Sean had uh Sean had called uh just in time to help me get this thing set up. I thought I could

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 click and log on real fast but uh here we go. Um yeah I live in Las Vegas. Uh I spent uh eight

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 years in the Air Force. I was in I was in the Air Force when I got sober in 1989. My sobriety day

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 is February 14th and um I was a raging alcoholic at the age of 21 when I got sober. I mean I was

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 out of control and it just happened to be that I was in the Air Force while that was going on.

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 Um and you know uh just like uh the previous uh speaker uh that the military is a fantastic place

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 to begin your alcoholism your alcohol career whatever you want to call it. There's tons of

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 that going on and there's a lot of normal people that drink a lot. Uh there happens to be people

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 like me that are alcoholics that drink a lot also and I fell into that category of uh just uh

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 circling the drain just like uh just like a water current circling the drain. I was almost getting

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 sucked down and I hit my bottom and just in time I got struck sober. Um I was getting myself in

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 trouble uh way more than I even knew. Uh I just thought it was isolated incidents. I just thought

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 it was just normal stuff and everybody was overreacting and you know when you're in the

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 service you gotta be where you're supposed to be. You gotta be ready when they say be ready and I

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 wasn't. Uh and I was getting found out and uh next thing you know I was in front of my commander uh

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 and I didn't even know who he was. He was so far up the chain as a commander I didn't even know who

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 he was. My commander my immediate commander took me to his commander because I was causing so much

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 chaos and they were having to explain why Scott was doing what Scott was doing and he looked at

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 me he says he says you gotta change your ways or you're gonna get kicked out and I looked at that

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 as a gut punch which it was because my my pride and my honor and this and that was all on the line

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 right I was a brand new guy in the air force and I was getting in trouble before I was even in for

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 a year I was in trouble and being that low on the totem pole and getting in trouble was a no-go and

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 so I got sentenced to what they call social actions which is where they introduce AA to you

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 or introduce you to AA introduce you to possibly something that is a is a problem in your life and

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 have your eyes open to it and I thought nope it's not for me and that program ended and I went right

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 back out started right back where I left off quickly got in trouble again got locked up in

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 correctional custody that's where they take you out of your work environment and they insert you

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 into this little mini prison all right had a fence it had a locked door you couldn't go in or out

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 unless they told you come with me we're leaving and we're going in or out whatever we marched in

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 formation went to the dining hall every morning every lunch every dinner and marching in formation

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 on base where I know people knew me when they drove by but I didn't get a chance to look in

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 the car windows because we're always eyes forward it was pretty humiliating and that's exactly what

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 I needed I needed to be humiliated I needed a wake-up call and I stayed in correctional custody

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 for 30 days and that was me completely being out of my element I was using their bars of soap I was

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 using their beds I was using their pillows and I was I was do I did exactly what was told that I

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 needed to do every minute of every day now on the flip side I felt like I belonged in there a lot of

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 guys were like me we bonded we played cards we played volleyball we hung out together we didn't

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 have a choice we had to hang out I learned a lot inwardly I found out a lot about myself

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 that program ended on the 31st day I was let out and went back to work on the flight line

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 on my job was f-15 weapon systems I was on the flight line every minute of every day

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 and it was a gung-ho job it was a perfect job for a young dude like me you know and it wasn't more

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 than a few weeks later that I got myself in trouble again and this time I decided you know

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 what they took my they took my driver's license I couldn't drive on base so I parked my truck

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 outside the main gate and I would ride my bicycle from that point into work every day and just like

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 being in correctional custody everybody knows when you see that guy riding a bicycle you know

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 why he's riding a freaking bicycle it's not because he likes pedaling it's because he got in trouble

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 and just like me marching in formation they see that guy marching in formation and they know that

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 he got in trouble um I made a decision you know we come in here with uh with with our best decisions

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 got us here right and I made a decision I was working swing shift in the air force and I decided

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 I need to take care of this extra time on my hands and I will eliminate the possibility of me getting

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 in trouble so I got a second job at sonic drive-in which is outside the main gate and I was working

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 the lunch rush every day and uh wasn't very long after I got the job that I started uh you know

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 getting high and all that stuff during the lunch rush and if any of you've worked in the fast food

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 environment it's fast pace I mean fast like you got to whip it in wipe it out and get it out get

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 the orders out like get them out and I didn't think there was so much of a problem but my boss did and

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 after the lunch rush one day she got in my face and she said I got a question for you she looked

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 me right in the eye and I was stood up straight and she was just a few feet from my face and her

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 hands were on her hips and she said do you have a drinking or drug problem and there was this pause

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 and I didn't break eye contact with her and I said yeah I do and what she said next was nothing short

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 of a miracle and God being right in front of me God was two feet away from me she put her hands

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 down and she looked down at the floor and then she looked back up at me and she says I'm getting

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 ready to go to an AA meeting do you want to go and I said yes I'd like to go to an AA meeting and so

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 we went to my very very first AA meeting that I wanted to go to and during that very first AA

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 meeting I said that my name is Scott and I'm an alcoholic and I'd never said that before and that

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 was the point of my sobriety that started this whole journey for the rest of my life that was

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 my freedom that was the the edge of the diving board that I jumped off of not knowing if the

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 water was deep enough to hold me if I jumped not knowing if there was even water at all I just took

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 a step off and trusted that this way of life is the way that God wants to take me now I didn't know

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 any of this when I first was asked that question do I want to go to an AA meeting I just knew that

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 that was the end of my rope and I was struck sober on that day February 14 1989 it it was amazing

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 because I had nothing to do with it other than saying yes and and that's how I look at it because

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 I couldn't think straight I didn't know anything God took care of me God led me and you know my

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 first six months were real foggy I was real foggy headed I was really just doing what you guys did

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 which is go to meetings and continue to try to go to work and try not to drink of course I didn't

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 have too much of a problem not drinking I just knew that I needed to go to meetings to continue

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 to not drink and I didn't know anything about wine I didn't know anything about the program I'm kind

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 of hard-headed I'm I'm not stubborn but I'm just a little bit on the dumb side when it comes to

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 learning I think and I just couldn't see everything that was around me in these meetings I could just

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 tell that y'all were laughing and you had what I wanted which is a sense of ease and comfort and

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 your sobriety has transformed your life right and I wanted that I realized you know what there's a

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 whole new language in this room and I didn't know the language and I'm sure some of you are like me

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 I want to know it all right now like I just want to speed read through all of it and know it and

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 I had to learn a lesson in patience I had to learn a lesson in growing up I had to learn a lesson in

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 just staying alive and just continuing to do the same thing over and over that y'all were doing

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 right so the reality was that God got me sober God struck me sober on that day and he kept me sober

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 for that first year and a half because to be honest I don't really remember the first six months

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 eight months I don't think I just started kind of coming to after that once I realized okay you

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 read chapter five every meeting you have a certain set of things that you do every meeting every

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 meeting's different and so that same year that first year I got sober I went to Alaska on a

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 remote assignment and if anybody knows anything about a remote assignment that means remote that

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 means no family members no cars no dogs no nothing you go up there and you're in a small at a small

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 base and yeah it's Alaska it's beautiful but boy I tell you it was isolated I mean isolated all

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 capital letters I didn't know it was going to be like that and you know I got up there and there

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 was no AA meeting and there was only like I think there was about 160 of us up there I can't remember

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 the exact number the whole reason we were up there is to support two F-15s that were on alert status

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 to protect that part of North America from incoming and there was no AA meetings there now

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 fast forward five years from then I realized you know what there's no possible way I could have

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 been the only sober alcoholic up there out of that many people there was at least one other sober

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 person and I know today how I can find those people at the time I was newly sober and I didn't know

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 that I could just put a sign on my dormitory door and say I'm a friend of Bill and Bob and somebody

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 would understand that and and contact me or something like that you know we know how to find

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 sober alcoholics when we're around for a little bit now right so if I had a do-over I would do

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 that one over and and solicit or seek sober alcoholics that I know were up there however

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 I stayed sober because of the satellite phones that we had it was a little bit difficult talking

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 on a satellite phone if any of you have ever done that back in the day there's a big long pause and

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 you can't have a conversation you can just have a walkie-talkie conversation kind of you know you

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 can't have a real-time conversation but the point is is I made phone calls from Alaska to Las Vegas

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 regularly and I stayed sober from calling people and talking to people every day and little did I

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 know that that was helping me and them I just knew it was helping me but I didn't know how the

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 program really worked with one alcoholic helping another so to speak I hadn't started working my

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 steps then I was just white knuckling it just trying to go you know one day at a time and try

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 to understand that I can't drink and during that time when I was in Alaska I realized that I am

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 different all right that's when it finally it really really hit me that I am different than my

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 normal drinking of fellow employees I watch them drink with impunity just like the literature says

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 and I can't drink that way I became very aware of what was in the literature when I was up there I

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 began doing a lot of reading and I realized that one drop of alcohol will set me off possibly now

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 I hadn't experienced that personally but I use other people's experience to know that I'm just

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 like you one drop might set me off and therefore I don't want one drop not one I don't want it one

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 day we were all in the club they had a club right just everywhere everybody drinks and they served

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 pizza and whatever else in there you know but there's a lot of drink and I went to the club

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 after work one day and you know they had the music playing and everybody's in there drinking and

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 there's food and I showed up and I'd learned how to I'd learned how to be around people that were

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 drinking at this point and not feeling like I had to drink at all but one guy's wife had sent up

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 some fudge she had made some homemade fudge and there was two tens of it in the on top of the bar

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 and I walked in and the lids were off and I saw the both of them were homemade look like brownies

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 but it was fudge and so I got one out and I started eating it and I'm walking around talking

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 to a few people and I found out who made the fudge I'm like man this is good and everybody pointed to

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 this guy and said his wife made it so I went over to him and I said like man this fudge is

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 really good he says you like that he says yeah my wife made that he said that's jack daniels fudge

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 and I said hang on what he said yeah it's made with jack daniels he says can you believe it can

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 you can you taste it and I said no I can't taste it and I realized right then all right this is not

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 good I've already eaten like three pieces right and and I I went I made a b-line for the bathroom

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 and I put my finger down my throat and I got rid of that and I could not believe it I was doing that

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 one but number two is I can't believe that I've ate some jack daniels fudge that was the second

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 thing like what in the world but it was a true testament what God was doing in my life and how

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 my mind had changed right uh maybe six months prior to that right before I got sober or right

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 after I got sober I might not have thought to get rid of that out of my stomach right I might not

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 have thought that it was that important I might not have thought hey one drop won't hurt and I'm

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 just so thankful that I did what I did right because it was a mental thing it was a mental

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 it was uh it was it was God doing for me right he showed me and uh and I went in and I took the

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 action and right after that I felt so proud I felt so accomplished that I did something for my

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 sobriety that was very concrete and very much uh in line with what we teach in AA which is not one

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 single drop and I can't just have one beer ever anymore ever and I realized that that was part of

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 my life right you know in that time frame of the calendar year when that happened and that was a

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 very very uh just a very instrumental part of me growing up in the program in other words that was

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 a very very big moment in my sobriety um so here I am in Alaska I'm sober I'm kind of white knuckling

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 it I'm kind of not I'm kind of trying to figure it out and um I have my follow-on orders to go to

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 Europe I went I went to the Netherlands after that uh after my tour in Alaska and uh when I got to

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 the Netherlands is when I really started working AA because AA was there waiting for me and I

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 dove in I drove to meetings in Amsterdam I drove to meetings in other uh towns and realized you

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 know what we might need a meeting on our base because there was no AA meetings on the base I

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 was at uh uh Schusterberg air base which used to be called Camp New Amsterdam uh but it's

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 outside of uh Amherst Fort uh Seust Holland if anybody knows where that's at but ended up

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 contacting central office getting some packages learned how to start meetings started about four

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 meetings uh over the course of the next three years and the very very first meeting I started

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 or that we started uh a group of us was at a monastery that was in Amherst Fort and the

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 monastery was so old I don't know nothing about it but you look at the stones and how it's built

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 it's like man this thing is crazy old but we had an AA meeting there they just opened their doors

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 to us and said yeah do whatever you want to do if it helps people that's what we want and they

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 didn't know anything about AA and we were trying to provide a meeting for those that won't help

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 anyway it helped us uh once a week we went there and then we ended up starting another meeting on

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 base and then starting another meeting on base anyway the magic of the program was alive and well

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 in Holland and um ended up serving eight years in the air force and I got out of the air force in

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 1993 and I was about four year five years sober then and moved to Las Vegas and started my

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 electrical career here and I've been an electrician for past 31 years and uh you know life has been

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 good God has been good to me and I feel like as a result of being sober wanting seeking to do God's

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 will and wanting to find other alcoholics to help I've been granted this beautiful life as a result

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 okay and I can't even explain it other than I feel like you know this these past two years I got a

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 divorce two years ago and these past two years since my divorce I feel like this is God's show

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 and I'm just here to help right this is God's show and I'm just here to help all I have to do is look

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 around and find someone that I could be helpful to whether it's an alcoholic that's great in an AA

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 meeting or a newcomer or it could be a total stranger at the grocery store or driving in

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 traffic that seems to be my Achilles heel is driving in traffic uh you know I'll tell you

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 when I'm driving everybody in front of me is not driving right and they don't drive fast enough

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 they don't use their blinker they don't stay in their lane they don't uh you name it they're not

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 doing it right and it's a frustration challenge for me um and I've learned a couple of tips about

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 how to drive better and how to be a better person on the road one is I leave my house earlier okay

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 all right so I'm not pressed for time but what I'm finding out is even though I'm not pressed for

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 time I'm still driving my car like I ride my dirt bike which is either on the gas or on the brakes

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 and it's a race and I want to get in front and I want to lead and I want to I want to pass you

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 in the corner I want to pass you on the straight I want to get you in my rear view mirror I don't

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 want to look at you anymore I want to get past you so that's one thing that I'm having to work

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 on lately and this is as a result of being 36 years sober people I'm having to work on my

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 patience and my driving and my uh being polite uh people that don't know me where you know they

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 might recognize me the next week I want them to know hey that's the guy instead of that that guy's

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 the guy that cut me off I want them to think maybe that's the guy that let me in when I have my turn

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 signal right we all like that person we've all been there when we need to get in and we need to

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 change lanes and you got your signal on and you know that car right there is not giving you the

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 room on purpose right we've all been there well I want to be that person that gives you the room

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 on purpose now to get on all right I just want to have more grace and I want to be able to look at

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 other people as God's children and we're all in this thing together this is God's show and I'm

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 just here to help um you know I uh I started working the steps uh when I moved to Holland

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 when I when I moved to Holland it was in 1990 and uh I had or 91 is when I got my orders to Holland

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 and that's when I started working the steps for the first time so it was about a year and a half

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 that I was sober that I didn't work the steps I don't recommend that to anybody listen to me work

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 the steps right when you become sober all right keep your momentum generate momentum and try to

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 keep it simple listen to your sponsor work the steps get through it our whole goal here

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 in AAA as individuals is to number one uh get we want to we want to become sober of course right

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 we want to stop drink but then we want to work the steps because right after step nine is 10 11

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 and 12 and that's where you start living your life and helping other people right so you got to get

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 rid of the baggage that I had to get rid of the baggage that I was carrying around and the only

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 way to do that was to work steps four through nine and once I did that the miracle of AA truly started

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 to happen the promises started coming true we've all heard the promises of lunch and we all know

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 what some of them are as they apply to us the promises started coming true in my life as a

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 result of working the steps and then once I get out on to step 10 11 and 12 then it was like every

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 the heavens opened up I was able to see and hear and be who God wanted me to be all right I truly

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 believe that I have a special gift just like every one of you to be able to help another new alcoholic

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 and it might not even be a new alcoholic it might be somebody with the same amount of sobriety as

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 you have that's having a hard time because of a divorce or because of a child that they just

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 lost or whatever you know it might be somebody that needs help that you don't even know you know

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 that you can help them we all know that we can help a newcomer we're totally qualified to help

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 a newcomer every one of us we have that special gift we've been there and done that the trick with

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 helping newcomers is getting them to understand that we've been there and done that that way they

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 start to trust us and maybe they can hear us a little bit I know when I first came into AA I

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 can only imagine what I was like because I don't remember I just don't I don't remember what it was

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 like the first six months I just don't I know one thing is that I want to be able to be of service

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 anytime any place whenever somebody asks for help or whenever the opportunity exists to help someone

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 you know I've made a lot of really good friends here in AA I've made a lot of I've made a lot

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 of acquaintances at work of people that joined AA and I only say that because sometimes I like to

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 think of it as casting a wide net you know that term hoping to catch one by slinging your net out

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 and opening it wide and hoping to catch one and I've caught probably a total of six in my sober

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 career at work and I have caught them in in many ways one is is I'm very sometimes I'm very crafty

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 with how I say words at work and I say these key words about man drinking or what you do this

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 weekend and if somebody says something that they drank too much I might say something about that

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 um this one guy uh that I was given a ride to his name was Neil I had a back before the internet we

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 had AA schedules on paper right we all know that we're all folded up I had one on the on the dash

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 in my car and Neil got in my car we were going to lunch and he he pulled this paper and he looked

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 at it and he goes I knew it and I said knew what he says I knew you were in AA I said how he says

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 uh some things that you said I can't remember the details but I just remember the smile on his face

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 right and so we made a connection I don't ever know what happened at Neil but he knew I was in

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 AA there was another uh there was another time this guy Luke this was recently uh he got himself

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 in trouble uh got put in jail didn't make it to work that day no call no show the next day no

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 call no show the third day no call no show nobody knew what happened to Luke well uh on the fourth

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 day my boss told me Luke got put in jail and that's all I needed to hear so when Luke finally

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 did show up I said uh said put me with put me with him I want to work with him and we were working

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 shoulder to shoulder in a piece of equipment and I had him captive for the whole day and I just

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 started talking AA to him and he ended up getting it and he's still sober today he's got like three

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 years right so what a blessing you know to be able to talk freely and possibly get the attention of

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 somebody who needs to hear the message uh maybe Luke in his case was the same as me I didn't know

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 that I needed to hear the message until the message was brought up uh I just really don't

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 know I just know that God has a special way of working in everybody's life and that I can be of

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 use to God right to God's plan I uh I'm a firm believer in that um you know I I tend to worry

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 a lot and sometimes I have to remind myself that worry doesn't produce anything good and I need to

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 just relax and tell myself how important is it when I get upset or when I get you know bounced

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 around I recently lost my job this past January uh January this year and I thought it was the

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 absolute worst thing ever I mean the worst worse than anything ever that happened in my life I

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 wasn't prepared for it just bought a new car I was just newly divorced and I had these bills and

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 you know and I was a foreman and I thought I was locked in and lo and behold I got laid off man

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 that was the absolute darkest point of my life I think in the past five or eight years it was bad

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 um and then a few days after that I got a phone call out of the blue company wanted to hire me

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 and I didn't solicit them and I have that job today and I have to say that this job is 10 times

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 better than the best job I've ever had and I look back at how much I was worrying and how much I was

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 upset and I have a job better now I just think God took care of me really uh you know being an

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 electrician is physically kind of demanding and I'm 58 I'm not young anymore I can't carry stuff

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 I can't walk that like I used to I mean I'm still in good shape don't get me wrong but you know the

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 body starts slowing down and breaking down so to speak and God took care of me in the area of that

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 and I'm now working for an engineering firm as a consultant um you know they hired they hired me as

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 someone that they just they just wanted me for my experience hallelujah what a blessing I feel like

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 that's a direct result of me being sober I feel like that's a direct result of me living my life

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 the best way I know how to help other people and to carry this message and to just be a sober

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 alcoholic um Tommy and Adam and Sean are good friends of mine we go to meetings regularly and

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 see each other regularly into that meeting room that you're sitting in uh last time I was there

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 I rode my motorcycle and I was sitting in there and little did I know that I would be in a zoom

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 meeting talking to the same meeting like I just didn't even know at the time when I was there in

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 person that's even how it worked I just had no clue sometimes I just need to even look around

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 a little bit more and realize you know I can be of service right this is another time I'm being

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 of service and you know I was always taught to never say no I was always taught to be of service

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 when I can um and you know one thing I've realized this last year and a half is that somebody said

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 that we alcoholics we sober alcoholics are the world's leading expert on alcohol is all of us

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 together collectively we know everything about how to get sober and we know everything about

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 alcoholism every single thing we know collectively together and that's way more than any physician or

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 any doctor or any psychiatrist or psychologist or any anybody has we have all the information so as

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 individuals we have to make a choice okay what am I good at what can I do to benefit this group what

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 can I do to benefit the carrying of the message whether it's taking it into jails or institutions

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 or whether it's being on a hi committee whether it's being a chairperson at a meeting being the

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 speaker getter whatever it is everybody's good at something you know we have to make individual

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 choices as to what we're good at I've done every position possible with the exception of the higher

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 up positions past GSR and all that but you know I used to regularly go to uh I was an inner group

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 rep uh in this country and in Europe right I've been I've been those positions and some of them

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 I've realized that I'm not that good at uh one thing I'm not real good at is being a uh the

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 treasurer I'm not I'm not dishonest with money but I'm not really that good about keeping good

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 records with money so I learn as a result of just stuffing the money in the envelope week after week

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 after week and not paying attention to it and then when somebody calls and asks how much money we got

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 and how much we're doing with it and what are we doing that's when I realize oh man I might not be

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 the best guy for this job you know I could probably do better if I made a conscious decision but I'm

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 not trained to do that and my point is is I'm really really good at other things to facilitate

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 an AA meeting or to create a way for other alcoholics to get to a meeting anyway uh I see

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 that my time is up and I want to thank Nate for asking me to share and uh thank Sean for helping

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 me get the zoom going and uh yeah it's been great uh I appreciate everybody and uh yeah looking

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 forward to being in another zoom meeting with you thank you it's good Adam Marissa Tommy hey thanks

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 thanks hey you're welcome it's my pleasure guys thank you