1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,840 - Hi, good evening. 2 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:02,640 My name is Danny and I'm an alcoholic. 3 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,040 - Hey Danny. 4 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,600 - I wanna thank Abraham for asking me to come out 5 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:08,600 and share tonight. 6 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:12,920 It's, I've been here before and just, 7 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,600 yeah, as I was sitting here, I was thinking, 8 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:19,080 I go to a book study on Monday nights 9 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:24,080 where they really, really focus on the program of alcohol 10 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:27,080 which Howard really started, you know, 11 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:31,080 Bill Wilkes and Dr. Bob, and as I was sitting out 12 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,880 just thinking, I said, maybe, you know, 13 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,760 this is probably not very far different 14 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:39,080 than when it was, you know, back in 1939 15 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,320 and when they got together at people's homes 16 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,400 and, you know, it's just a small group of people 17 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,000 trying to help each other. 18 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,560 And it felt really, really nice sitting here. 19 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,480 Dan, I gotta, where is it? 20 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,680 There it is, Dan, I gotta tell you. 21 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,680 You said, you didn't know how you got the job, okay. 22 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,400 Well, we all know how you can lose it, you know. 23 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,480 So be great with what you got. 24 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,600 The other thing I wanna say, 25 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,360 I wanna say hello to Nancy and to Susan. 26 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,640 And Nancy, I sure hope you get better quickly. 27 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,320 And Susan, we go back so many years. 28 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:17,320 It's just wonderful to see you and that you got it well. 29 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:21,200 For me personally, a couple of things happened. 30 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,360 I was asked to speak at a Thursday night meeting 31 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,800 about a month and a half ago. 32 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,240 And it was a 35, 40 minute talk. 33 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,480 And right in the middle of it, I stopped. 34 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:32,680 I stopped talking about it. 35 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:36,440 My mind went completely blank and I couldn't talk. 36 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,240 I wasn't, it was really, really weird for me 37 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,480 because all my life I'd talk, you know. 38 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:46,080 But I do remember a guy in the program that I loved 39 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:50,240 had really, Don Locke, that was his name. 40 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,960 He passed away and he was a hell of an AA guy. 41 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,240 And I remember when he got older, 42 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:01,080 we asked him to come to one of our meetings 43 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,640 and I saw what happened to him. 44 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,720 I don't even know why I'm telling you guys this 45 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:10,560 other than the fact that at that meeting, I blacked out. 46 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,200 And he, and I saw him do that. 47 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,320 So I'm at a stage in my life now, 48 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,320 matter of fact, I'll give you some statistics. 49 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,080 In year 2020, I turned 80. 50 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,640 I also had 40 years of sobriety married to the same lady 51 00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:25,960 for 51 years. 52 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,160 So those are pretty good numbers. 53 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:32,640 Now, here I am at 87 and my life has changed quite a bit. 54 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:37,640 I'm retired now, which has presented a whole new shift 55 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:41,280 for me in the way I live and what I have to deal with. 56 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,480 It's, I love my job. 57 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,600 I miss working. 58 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:51,600 And, but anyway, as far as my story, I, 59 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,640 everybody has a story. 60 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:58,360 I had some of the best talks I have ever heard in AA 61 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:03,200 were from people that I would never have hung out with them. 62 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:07,560 You know, one of the men, a little lady, Millie Greenberg, 63 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,000 she was actually shorter than me. 64 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,760 But boy, I'm telling you when she talked, 65 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,560 not only when she talked, but how she behaved 66 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,920 and some of these things that happened along the way 67 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:23,920 that helped me to bridge that gap where I used to sit 68 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:28,440 in the back of the room for a long time when I was new 69 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,040 and I would put my hands over my ears 70 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,960 to not want to hear the speaker 71 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,840 because I didn't like the way they looked or this or that. 72 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:40,680 And then suddenly we talk about awakenings 73 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:41,640 and stuff like that. 74 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:46,000 I call it like a spiritual or an insight. 75 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,440 That's a better word for me. 76 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:49,800 And I had an insight. 77 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,280 The insight said simply, 78 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,680 "Danny, if you hadn't screwed up your life all these years, 79 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,880 you wouldn't be here on a Saturday night 80 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,640 having to listen to this person." 81 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,280 And that kind of took that edge away from me, you know, 82 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,960 where I'm able to now sit in a meeting 83 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:08,160 and for the most part, I can pay attention 84 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,800 and learn from what the speaker has to say. 85 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:14,640 I was born and raised in the Bronx, a big Italian family. 86 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,800 It was seven boys and one girl. 87 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:21,280 I would say, when I talk about being poor, 88 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:24,680 you always bump into somebody that you can have, 89 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,600 who was poorer, more, you know? 90 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,520 Well, I can tell you that we were very poor. 91 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,040 I mean, we didn't have heat. 92 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,520 We had a cast iron stove that my mother, 93 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:40,520 a little tiny Italian lady cooked for seven boys, a girl. 94 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,640 Mother, father, and uncle lived in that one house 95 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:48,640 in the Bronx that my father and my uncle built. 96 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:54,280 And I look back and I don't know how that lady did it, 97 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:57,040 but she did, kept us all together. 98 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,240 Matter of fact, I'm the last of my family. 99 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:00,880 Everybody has passed away. 100 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:04,840 So for some reason, I'm the one that's still a Spaccarelli. 101 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,200 That's my name, you know? 102 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,760 And you know what I found out recently? 103 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,920 A guy sent me a picture of Italy, 104 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,080 and there's the food of Italy. 105 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,560 And on the right-hand side in the middle, there's a city. 106 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,520 There's a town called Spaccarelli. 107 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:24,600 If you meet another Spaccarelli, he's a relative, okay? 108 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:25,440 But there they were. 109 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:30,280 And so that's kind of, a couple of weeks ago, this happened. 110 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,800 I'm running around showing everybody the map, 111 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,200 you know, my family. 112 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,120 But anyway, it was, like I mentioned, poor. 113 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,120 We were all poor. 114 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,040 There's nobody in the neighborhood did it. 115 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:44,000 Italian, Jewish neighborhood, it was pretty good. 116 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:49,000 The city tore down the neighborhood, they built projects. 117 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,640 That changed everything. 118 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,760 Talking about alcohol, we had a wine cellar 119 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,920 that was maybe half the size of this room. 120 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,000 We made barrels of wine every September, October. 121 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,640 Matter of fact, I remember being in that wine cellar 122 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,720 with the press, and we got these boxes of grapes. 123 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:08,480 And it's a great ranch of Cucamonga, California. 124 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,400 We would open up and throw them in the press 125 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,560 and make the wine. 126 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,400 So in terms of alcohol, it was never a prohibition. 127 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,520 I mean, my father would get a gallon of wine every day, 128 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,920 put it on the table, and that's it. 129 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,600 You know, you just don't make a fool of yourself, 130 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,440 but that's it. 131 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:27,840 What happened to me, it was, I had special eye problems, 132 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,560 and I was in a special class and stuff like that. 133 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:35,520 But I started to gravitate away from the routine 134 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,360 of the family. 135 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:40,760 I started to move out, I was, let me put it this way, 136 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,680 I was attracted by a bunch of guys 137 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,800 a little bit outside of the neighborhood. 138 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,240 Very, very, matter of fact, 139 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,280 it was just like in "The Brock's Tale." 140 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,560 If you've seen that movie, that was filmed 141 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,880 just a few blocks away from where I live. 142 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,280 And that's exactly what it was like. 143 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:59,640 A bunch of would-be hoodlums, you know, 144 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,920 hanging out by this bar and talking about women 145 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,200 and talking about all their exploits. 146 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,680 And it was very exciting, and here I is, 147 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:12,600 little Danny, with very big, thick glasses, 148 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,040 and I was attracted to it. 149 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:19,520 I mean, and I certainly had no qualities 150 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,720 to be part of that group. 151 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,600 I was small, I could fight very good, 152 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,240 but I started hanging out with them. 153 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,520 What was the rule? 154 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,680 Not the rule, but we were drinking a lot, 155 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,040 and all the wine I ever wanted. 156 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,960 But the other thing that happened, 157 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:39,680 just when the girls talk about boys in the neighborhood, 158 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,800 they'd be sitting on a park bench and they would say, 159 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,040 "Oh, you know, Vince, he's so good looking, 160 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,760 "and Joe D, you know, what a guy." 161 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,000 They had all of these descriptions 162 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,200 of the boys in the neighborhood. 163 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,740 When they talked about Danny, they said, 164 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:55,080 "Oh, that Danny, he's such a good guy." 165 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,520 I hated it, I hated it. 166 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,400 I didn't want to be a good guy. 167 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,160 I wanted a good lady, and I didn't know. 168 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,320 I didn't know how, I didn't know what that was. 169 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,520 The only sex education I ever got 170 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:14,440 was a photo album like this that my brother Victor 171 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,600 put together when he was young, 172 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,280 pictures of ladies, they were pulling up their stocking. 173 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,760 You see more in an LA Times Macy's ad 174 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,480 than what was in that book, 175 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,240 but that book went from Victor, to Angelo, 176 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,320 Frankie, to Eddie, to Danny, to Louie. 177 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,680 When it got to Arman, the young, it was torn open. 178 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:35,720 It was ripped open. 179 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:40,720 So anyway, I'm trying to get to the point of what happened. 180 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:45,440 One of the guys said that they found 181 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,320 this Catholic high school in the Bronx called St. Helena's, 182 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,120 and that's where they keep these girls, 183 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,600 they keep them cooped up all week long. 184 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,840 Then they let them out on Friday, and you cannot miss. 185 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,720 I could not wait for Friday. 186 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,560 So I'm up there inside the Starlight Cafe 187 00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,520 in the bowling alley and the pool hall, 188 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,160 and we get in the car, and we go out to St. Helena's. 189 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,200 And here's what happened. 190 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,960 You go in there, and it was a gymnasium, 191 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,000 and all the boys are on one side, 192 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,800 and all the girls are on the other side, 193 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,960 and you have to walk across this gymnasium to ask girls. 194 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,480 I didn't know any of you. 195 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:23,600 I would rather have bought a horny alligator 196 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,280 than to walk across that floor. 197 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,120 And the reason, I never learned how to dance. 198 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,640 Nobody, in those days, you danced with a girl to the melody, 199 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,160 and you worked together, you danced. 200 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,360 Today, you could go out on the dance floor 201 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,640 and have a convulsion, 202 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,080 and people would say, "Oh, my God, look at that." 203 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,240 But I was terrified. 204 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,640 So for the first time in my life, 205 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,560 I went back to the car that we stayed in. 206 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,040 We had plenty of wine there. 207 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:53,040 And that's the first time that alcohol did something for me 208 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,960 that it had never done before. 209 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,960 And it never stopped after that. 210 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,480 It went on, and I just, and then my brother's, 211 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,400 "Danny, you're such a good kid. 212 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,160 "You're the first spacarelli that's gonna go to college. 213 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,480 "What are you doing hanging out with those bums? 214 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,560 "You know, they're bad guys." 215 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:13,120 And I would just yes him, "Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm okay." 216 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,880 And then, eventually, I started, 217 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:19,440 I got in a lot of trouble, arrested three, four times. 218 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,240 One time, I ended up at Westchester County Jail 219 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,920 at two o'clock in the morning. 220 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,520 I don't ever remember being arrested. 221 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,160 And I don't know how I woke up in a jail cell, 222 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,080 how I got there. 223 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,720 We talk about black ops. 224 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,680 I never believed in it until I had several. 225 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,280 But anyway, one night I came home, 226 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,800 I was about 24 years old, 227 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,960 and I fell asleep on the bed with a cigarette 228 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:45,440 and the bed caught fire, not flames, but smoldering. 229 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,480 And my mother came in with a bucket of water 230 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,040 and she threw it on the bed. 231 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,640 Had she not awakened and done that, 232 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,720 it's possible that I would have been responsible 233 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,560 for killing my mother, my two kid brothers, Louie and Armine, 234 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,320 and my uncle who was in the bed. 235 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:06,320 He had a stroke, and so that was a bad situation. 236 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,600 I'll tell you something about that uncle. 237 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,840 You know, it's really funny. 238 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,400 We're in his room, we all know each other a little bit 239 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,720 and everything, but I'll tell you what I'm capable of. 240 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:19,720 I would go into his room, and there he was paralyzed. 241 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,480 He had a suffering from the stroke. 242 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,160 All he could do was move his left arm, 243 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,200 and I would walk into his room 244 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,440 and he had a dresser over there, 245 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,240 and I would go to his dresser, I would open it up, 246 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,800 and I would take his money. 247 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,040 My mother would put his social security or whatever 248 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,880 in that drawer, and he'd be struggling. 249 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,040 And he was crying, he was crying. 250 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,320 This is his nephew. 251 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,440 He raised us, he lived with us every day. 252 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,480 But I bring that up because I never want to forget 253 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,240 that I'm capable of doing that, 254 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:54,680 and my thought at the time was, F him. 255 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,600 He doesn't need it, I need it. 256 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,360 And that's how it was for me. 257 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:02,160 And eventually, two days shortly after that, 258 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,040 my brothers got together on a Sunday, 259 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,760 and they came over because they had already moved out 260 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,960 and started their families, they were older than me. 261 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,680 And they got me, slapped me around, 262 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,240 and threw me down a flight of stairs, 263 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,480 and then told me, get in the car. 264 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,080 And I got in the car and they took me 265 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,080 to 42nd Street, 10th Avenue, 266 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:25,080 put me on a Greyhound bus, one-way ticket to California. 267 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,200 The last thing I remember when the door was closing, 268 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,920 don't come back, you little bastard. 269 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,480 And I don't remember much of it, 270 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:35,760 but I end up in Santa Monica, I get off the bus. 271 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,880 I don't even know how, I don't remember going across, 272 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,120 I get off the bus, where is everybody? 273 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:41,280 There's no people here. 274 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,720 Not like New York, I mean, there's people everywhere. 275 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,680 And so I ended up here in a place called Synanon House. 276 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,120 It was the first of the, 277 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:53,320 actually the best of the drug rehab programs. 278 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,720 And I was the 100th person in that facility. 279 00:12:55,720 --> 00:13:00,040 And people go to these rehab facilities and detoxes, 280 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,800 and say 30 days, 60 days. 281 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,720 I stayed there for five years, I was there for five years. 282 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,000 And I advanced myself within that structure. 283 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,560 I became associate director, 284 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,320 had a pretty good position there. 285 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:15,640 And I traveled around, called in on suppliers, 286 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:16,880 asking them to donate. 287 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,320 Everything that we needed was donated. 288 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,400 We had no money. 289 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,920 I met my wife there, she was a volunteer. 290 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:29,320 She graduated college and actually went 291 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,640 to the Peace Corp for two years. 292 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,040 And she came down to visit and I started to talk with her. 293 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,480 And eventually I left and I ended up getting a job 294 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,520 as a salesman here in California. 295 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,680 And we were doing good. 296 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,240 We got married and everything, 297 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:47,000 and I started calling out retail stores. 298 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:51,200 And eventually I started drinking again, 299 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:54,320 started to use, which I had never really done before 300 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,160 that very much. 301 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:59,720 But I, and here's what got me into AA. 302 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,040 I had a family, I had a wife and children. 303 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,280 We had five children. 304 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,160 By that time it was maybe three children. 305 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:10,160 And I was about ready to lose my job, I had a good job. 306 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:14,640 My family was, they didn't know what to do. 307 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,280 They were mainly in New York. 308 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:21,280 And I did not, I wasn't raised to treat my family 309 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,520 the way I was doing. 310 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:26,040 I didn't care about you, I didn't care about other people. 311 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,680 I lied to everybody. 312 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,560 I was sneaking liquor into the office where I worked, 313 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,160 sneaking it out at night, doing all those things. 314 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:36,320 But I really didn't care much about what you had to say. 315 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,360 But I got to the point where I couldn't live 316 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:39,560 with myself anymore. 317 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,600 And so one day on a Friday night, 318 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,040 I'm at a McDonald's, I'm at Thoreau Boulevard, 1979. 319 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,520 And a guy taps me on the shoulder, 320 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:47,640 I'm fixing a cup of coffee. 321 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,400 And it turned out as this fellow, Paul, 322 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,120 that I knew in Synanon, he was there with me 323 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:53,080 when I was there. 324 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,360 And he said, "Danny, how are you doing?" 325 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,840 At that time, I was about ready to lose my job. 326 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,280 My wife saw it, realized what I was doing. 327 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,600 It was, my family wanted nothing to do with me. 328 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,240 And I tell him, I said, "Paul, I'm doing okay." 329 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,200 So he gives me his card, his business card. 330 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,880 And he says, "Well, I'm in AA. 331 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,240 "If you ever need any help, give me a call." 332 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,840 So that night I went home and I put his business card 333 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:16,680 on my dresser. 334 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,760 And every night, every morning, I looked at that card 335 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,320 and I felt so dirty. 336 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:25,800 I felt so dirty, so shameful about what I was doing. 337 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,280 So on October 21, 1979, I called him up. 338 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,120 It was Sunday. 339 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,640 I said, "Paul, I need some help." 340 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,920 And he said, "Okay, get over to my house." 341 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,000 He lived about 15 minutes away. 342 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,240 He said, "We'll get you to an AA meeting." 343 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,200 I knew very little. 344 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,480 The only thing I knew about AA is that they relied on God. 345 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,840 Their emphasis was on a higher power. 346 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:48,160 When I was in Synanon, the emphasis was self-reliance. 347 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,920 You relied on yourself. 348 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,680 God helps those who help themselves. 349 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:52,520 That was the theme. 350 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,120 So I went there and he took me to, 351 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,320 he didn't take me, but another friend, Frank. 352 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,600 Frank Sebo, who passed away, 353 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,320 he took me to my first meeting and it was crowded. 354 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:05,320 Ohio Street meeting, jam, people in the parking lot. 355 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,080 I have no idea what happened there, 356 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,080 other than there was a lot of people. 357 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,000 I don't know what happened that following week, 358 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,680 but I went back the next Sunday 359 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,920 and I walk into that meeting and a lady comes up to me 360 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,400 and she reaches out and she says, "Danny, how are you doing?" 361 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,840 She remembered my name. 362 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,080 I'm telling you, these little, we call them God shots, 363 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,360 whatever word you want to put on it, 364 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,200 but here I am many years later 365 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,640 and I can remember her reaching out and remembering my name. 366 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:39,400 It really got a little bit of glue, got me closer. 367 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:42,480 And then with my sponsor, Paul, he's my sponsor today. 368 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,320 We've been together all these years. 369 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,040 He said to me, "Danny, you stay between me and Frank. 370 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,480 We're going to tell you what to do. 371 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,600 You do what we do, you come with us, you're going to be okay." 372 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:55,200 And I respected Paul and I love Frank. 373 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,040 I was right between the two guys. 374 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,080 The thing that got that help me 375 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,320 is that they did what they said they were going to do. 376 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,880 In other words, whereas I was in this thing 377 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,200 called the Pacific Room, this is what we were. 378 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,320 And I did not like the Pacific Room. 379 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,080 There was this adoration of the old timers, you know, 380 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,520 get them a cup of coffee, kiss their ass. 381 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,080 Whatever. 382 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:25,080 And I tell you, I'm in the back of a car, 383 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:29,320 six of us are going to go out and hear this guy Clancy talk, 384 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,560 his Christmas talk in West Covina. 385 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,640 And it was football season. 386 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,080 And they're talking about football. 387 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,800 And I said something like, 388 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,880 "I don't think the Rams are going to do very good this year." 389 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:45,440 And this guy screams in my ear, "God damn it, shut up. 390 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,240 He just got here a minute ago. 391 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,760 You got nothing to say." 392 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,120 He blew me out of the car practically. 393 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,600 I said, "All right, okay, I get the picture. 394 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,040 Let me tell you something." 395 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,720 I said, "I'm going to get this guy." 396 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,040 And here's what I found out. 397 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:03,800 I found out that old timers like to sit in the same seat. 398 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,320 And at that time in AA, Chuck Chamberlain was alive, 399 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,840 Clancy was very active. 400 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,280 So many icons of AA were alive and well. 401 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:18,280 And Chuck used to talk about unlimited love, 402 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,160 unconditional love. 403 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,880 That was unconditional love. 404 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,480 And AA over the years, you'll see different themes surface. 405 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,720 And people, unconditional love was one of them. 406 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,240 Perception, you know, you'll hear people talk about it. 407 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,560 But unconditional love. 408 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,280 So what I did is on Wednesday night 409 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,120 at a big meeting at the synagogue, 410 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,080 I found out where this guy sat 411 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,400 and I went and put my keys on the seat. 412 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,080 And I just made believe like, you know, 413 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,680 so he comes down, he looks at his seat. 414 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,120 He said, "Who's keys are these?" 415 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,160 I said, "Those are mine. 416 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,800 Get your goddamn keys off of my seat." 417 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,280 I said, "Not tonight." 418 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,120 "You son of a bitch, I'm going to tell your sponsor." 419 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:58,680 I said, "Go screw yourself." 420 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,560 You know, I'm sitting in it and I did, I sat in that seat. 421 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:06,600 And then also another time, unconditional love, 422 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:07,960 it went right out the window. 423 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,800 - The frauds are expensive. 424 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,160 - I knew there were a bunch of bakes and frauds 425 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,440 as far as I was concerned. 426 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,200 A guy takes a cake for about 16 years. 427 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,520 And it is, you know, tradition, 428 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,000 if you shake the person's hand, say congratulations. 429 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,080 I went up to shake this guy's hand 430 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,560 and I had a cup of coffee. 431 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,760 And somebody bumped me just as I was about, 432 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,160 and the coffee spilled like on his shoes. 433 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,960 He grabs me, you know, big guy, he grabs me. 434 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,320 I started laughing. 435 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,480 Unconditional love, again, out the window, you know. 436 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,080 And I, so I, and those are some of my adventures 437 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,320 as a newcomer. 438 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:48,320 But then speaking, speakers, 439 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,920 Saturday night meeting was in the federal building 440 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,960 on Wiltshire and Sepulveda. 441 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,880 And I was there, I was calling. 442 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,680 They would have, they'd call you up to the speakers 443 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,880 to come and share before the main speaker 444 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,280 like we did tonight with Dan. 445 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,240 And so I was around for a little bit 446 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,840 and I went up to the secretary. 447 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,800 I said, "How come nobody, you never asked me to speak?" 448 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,000 She said, "Danny, you got here an hour ago. 449 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,000 What the hell, you gotta do some time, you know, 450 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,640 before you can get up at the podium." 451 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,800 But anyway, I must've bugged her 452 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,320 because a couple of weeks later, 453 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,320 they called to speak at that podium. 454 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,920 I got up there and I said, "You know, this AA craft, 455 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,440 it's all pretty good for you guys, 456 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,000 but I'm gonna tell you something." 457 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,440 I was, everybody's running around 458 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,280 and I don't know how this guy plants him, 459 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,640 ever takes a crap, with all those lips on his ass. 460 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,920 That's not what I'm going to put on. 461 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:45,040 And I said, "Now, my sponsor is sitting right here. 462 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,400 I forgot your name." 463 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,400 Again, and he's, I see him sliding under the chair, 464 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,880 you know, and then I click him down 465 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,840 and the lady says to me, "Danny, you're a good guy. 466 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:01,240 You speak your mind, but you're not going anywhere 467 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,720 in a Pacific group, ever." 468 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,520 Anyway, after all these years, 469 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,200 I made it to the coffee crew. 470 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,600 I'm on the coffee crew Wednesday night, 471 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,680 and that's a really pretty good honor to get on that crew. 472 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,600 But I share a couple of other things 473 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,520 that I'm not paying attention to so much, 474 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,400 but some of the things that I think worked for me, 475 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,600 number one, I stayed, I stayed. 476 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,840 Number two, I had a good routine. 477 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,080 And I remember my boss, boss Paul, 478 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,520 he said, "Danny, the day will come 479 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,600 when a good routine is going to save your ass. 480 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,000 Things are going to be flying 481 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,040 and things are going to go wrong, unexpected. 482 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:41,080 But if you have a good AA routine, your meetings, 483 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,040 people you work with, your commitments, all of that, 484 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:48,240 if you have a good routine, it's going to help you out." 485 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:52,080 The other thing is, is that for me anyway, 486 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,040 I was having trouble with some of the meetings, 487 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,080 making the meetings. 488 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,080 And I would call, I was lying to my sponsor. 489 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,680 I was doing a lot of stuff I shouldn't have been doing. 490 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,040 But I'd call him, I'd tell him, "Batteries, Dad, 491 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:04,440 my wife is sick." 492 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,480 You know, 'cause, oh, Monday night football. 493 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,960 I love Monday night football. 494 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,960 But that was one of my meetings, you know? 495 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,640 So I had always a story 496 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,800 about not making a meeting on Monday night. 497 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,200 I watched the football. 498 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,640 But anyway, what happened to me, and I'll tell you this, 499 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,800 and I, if you have children, if you're raising children, 500 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,080 or if you're living with someone, you'll say something, 501 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,680 you go to one of the kids and you say, 502 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,800 "Okay, Matthew, I want you to clean up your room." 503 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,600 Oh, yeah, okay, whatever. 504 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,120 Whether the kid cleans his room or not, 505 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,480 it's not really that important. 506 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,520 And even the way you say it, it's a little bit, 507 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,960 there's a little wiggle room there. 508 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,280 But there are times when you talk to a child 509 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,680 and it's not negotiable. 510 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,760 I don't want you going in the street 511 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,960 without holding mama's hand or grandma's hand. 512 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,960 And you say it, it's not negotiable. 513 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,800 And so what happened to me, I put this thing in my head, 514 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,480 this category called not negotiable, okay? 515 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:01,080 Not negotiable, my meetings are not negotiable. 516 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,560 What is negotiable? 517 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:07,120 The clothes I wear, do I pay the bill, do I lie to you, 518 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:09,480 do I cheat my boss? 519 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:14,520 Yeah, you have, the rest of the world is negotiable, 520 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,480 but what is not negotiable is my meetings. 521 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,880 And I'm preaching this now to a lot of guys, you know? 522 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,600 And it's, and I've had guys come up to me say, 523 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,000 "Dana, you know what? 524 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,360 I was having trouble too." 525 00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:31,360 And so my meetings now for 47 years have been pretty good. 526 00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:35,680 The other thing too is what I come to value. 527 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,160 You know, I have a job, 528 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,840 maybe live in a nice house and things are good, 529 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,440 but what I've come to value in the book, 530 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:44,840 we talked about promises. 531 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,320 The promises that if we do these things, 532 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,480 if we follow these steps and everything, 533 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:50,840 we will have a better life. 534 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:54,600 But what is not in the promises is to be trusted. 535 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,400 And it's only within the last couple of years 536 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,640 that that concept, that thought, 537 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,240 because I remember my brother Victor, my oldest brother, 538 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,120 he was the oldest member, 539 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:09,320 I remember hearing him say to his children on a weekend, 540 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:10,520 he didn't know I could hear it, 541 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,480 but I was up in his house and he said to his kids, 542 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,280 "Listen, Uncle Danny's coming over here this afternoon. 543 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,760 If you leave him alone, he'll leave, okay?" 544 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,680 That hurt me so bad 'cause I loved him, I loved his kids, 545 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:23,800 but I was a mess. 546 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,040 I was not a good person. 547 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:30,360 And so all these years, and so to be trusted, 548 00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:33,080 to be worthy of trust, to have a job, 549 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,720 like Dan talked about his job, 550 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,080 and have the boss come up to you and say, 551 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,760 "Hey, Bruce, would you close the shop Friday night? 552 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,440 I'm gonna do something." 553 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,360 To be trusted by your peers, you know? 554 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:46,160 It's something that I don't, 555 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:51,160 and I've got a group of people, men mainly, and women, 556 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:56,280 but mainly men where I don't wanna do anything 557 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,000 that's gonna take away from the trust. 558 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,160 And what is trust? 559 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:04,320 You can't buy it, Amazon doesn't have it for sale, right? 560 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:08,760 You gotta earn it, it's one of those things. 561 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,120 And I'll tell you, if there are no apparel, 562 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,560 and I started reading the Bible, and it's parable, 563 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,440 you know, I have a parable for you. 564 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,600 In my neighborhood, the kid, one of the kids, 565 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:23,840 Vinny, Vinny Chantelmo, okay, he's a good kid, right? 566 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,800 We used to really abuse him a lot. 567 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:30,080 I mean, he was a good kid and everything, 568 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,640 but unfortunately, he didn't have a father. 569 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,800 His mother, this is during World War II, 570 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,560 so I go back quite a few years. 571 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:41,680 But anyway, here's what happened to Vinny. 572 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,440 We'd all be playing, school was over, 573 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,280 and after, our neighborhood, stickball, or whatever we did, 574 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,640 and his mother decided to teach him to play a musical 575 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:54,640 instrument, and there's a word that we used to have, 576 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,320 if you're called it, it's not good. 577 00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,120 Mama Luca, Mama Luca is a mother's boy. 578 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:02,680 You're a mother's, Mama Luca, Mama Luca, 579 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,600 you know, we used to do that, to put each other down. 580 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,560 Anyway, we were doing that to Vinny, 581 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:11,360 but she would, she'd take him into the house, 582 00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:13,520 and he was learning how to play a trumpet, right? 583 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,000 And we used to tease him, one day, we're out there playing, 584 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000 and she grabs Vinny in the house, he gets in the house, 585 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,520 and he plays this trumpet, and we knew what he was playing. 586 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:24,720 And so here's the parable. 587 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,560 What happened, what happened that day? 588 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,960 Why was that day different than the day before? 589 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:29,840 You know what it was? 590 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:30,920 He got it, he got it. 591 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,120 How, wherever, he got it, and that's how AA works. 592 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:37,000 It's funny, you can go for years, you know, 593 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,920 and never get it, and then something happens, 594 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:44,160 somebody does something, or something, and all of a sudden, 595 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,640 you got it, it makes sense to you. 596 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,440 You're resistant, so at least I'm talking about myself now. 597 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,240 And I've seen it in other people, 598 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,880 that you wouldn't have been a dime on 'em, you know? 599 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,200 And we know that, we know people that, 600 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,680 like I said, you wouldn't have been a dime on 'em. 601 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,440 And something happens, they see something, 602 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,280 they feel something, something happens to them, 603 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,000 an insight or whatever, and they get it, you know? 604 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,880 So, if you haven't got it, I hope you get it, right? 605 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:14,000 I feel that that's right, they got it. 606 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,360 I think, what have I got here? 607 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:18,160 I got a few minutes left, she ain't running out of gas. 608 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,160 No, I pray, that's another thing, too. 609 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,920 I was raised Catholic, knew all of it. 610 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,160 I, recently, I was asked to close a meeting 611 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:27,200 with the Lord's Prayer. 612 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,440 Yeah, I'll call it, I forgot the Lord's Prayer. 613 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,320 So now, I have it written, and I have it right by 614 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,720 where my computer is, so in case they ask me to read it, 615 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:42,720 the Lord's Prayer, but no, I sponsor quite a few guys. 616 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,280 Oh, that's horrible, yeah. 617 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,240 I was raised with the Catholic prayers, 618 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:51,080 and our Father, the Hail Mary, after Confucian, 619 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,440 and even in the book, the seventh step prayer, 620 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,800 the third step prayer, and for some reason, 621 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,040 I never liked it, you know? 622 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,640 They were, I didn't, they're beautiful, 623 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:00,760 the words are beautiful. 624 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,560 But what I do now is, Father, thank you for another day, 625 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,760 thank you for the wonderful life you've given me. 626 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,560 And who came to, a guy named Dave, Dave Zupa, 627 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,280 on a Saturday night, where I was really new, 628 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,240 and we were talking about prayer and that sort of stuff. 629 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,680 He said, and I was telling him, you know, 630 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,200 about the Catholic prayers, he knew what they were, 631 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,400 but he said, "Danny, you can tell them for God, 632 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,680 "you can tell them what's on your mind. 633 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,440 "Get on your knees, and just tell them what's going on, 634 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,840 "what you'd like help with, you know?" 635 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:30,920 And so, I started doing it. 636 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,960 I said, "Father, thank you for the life I've been given. 637 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,440 "I live in a wonderful country, 638 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,880 "and I pray for your guidance, your strength, 639 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,920 "to help me to do what is right, 640 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,560 "the right thing for me to do. 641 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,960 "I pray for my children, my family, 642 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,960 "and I pray for others that I know." 643 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,680 Right now, we have so many people 644 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,680 that are around a little bit younger than me or whatever, 645 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:55,240 but that are not doing well physically, you know? 646 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,600 So I pray for them and where I can. 647 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:02,080 I have, like tomorrow Sunday, I have a route that I have 648 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:06,360 of visiting different people that are about doing well. 649 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,440 And I want to tell you one thing about that first. 650 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,240 When I mentioned it to other guys, 651 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,840 you know, "Let's go see Ronnie, you know, at the VA. 652 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,120 "Oh, Danny, you know, Ronnie's a good guy, 653 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,840 "but I, you know, what can I say? 654 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,640 "You know, he's dying, whatever." 655 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,320 And I tell him, "Listen, nobody gives a crap 656 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,280 "about how you feel, okay? 657 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,840 "What's important is how he feels, 658 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,440 "because you're just being there. 659 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,440 "List that person's spirits. 660 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,240 "You don't have to have words of wisdom. 661 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,520 "There are times I go, and there's really not much to say. 662 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,200 "It's just that you're there." 663 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,080 And so I try to encourage some of the guys, 664 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,120 and we all know people that, and we say, 665 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:51,360 "Gee, I should go see, you know, Robert." 666 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,120 And then you find a reason to not go see. 667 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,080 Then you feel bad that you didn't go see him, 668 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,960 and it's just a bad cycle. 669 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,000 I set it up for myself, 670 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,240 like I did with the Met Negotiable. 671 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:04,480 I go visit. 672 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,880 I got about three or four guys that I see 673 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:10,360 on a regular basis, and do what I can to help them. 674 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,400 And then we have a friend in a family. 675 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:14,840 I really feel bad for her. 676 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,080 She's a wonderful lady. 677 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,280 We've known her for 55 years. 678 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,240 Our kids grew up with our kids. 679 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,640 She just lost her husband. 680 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:26,160 He was 100 years old, and now she's like 86 years old. 681 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:31,160 And she has a son in Oregon and a daughter in San Diego. 682 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,120 She's here at Woodland Hills, 683 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,200 and she's really got confused. 684 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:36,720 So that's another thing where, 685 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:37,760 that's another thing I tell you. 686 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,680 Take the blinders off. 687 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:44,360 There's opportunities everywhere, in AA and out of AA, 688 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,800 where you can maybe reach out a little bit 689 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,800 via help of somebody else. 690 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,800 But I thank God every day for the life I've been given, 691 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,320 and I pray that you guys all find your peace 692 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:59,160 on this world that we're living in and do the right thing. 693 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,000 Thank you.