1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:29,980 Hi, everybody. My name is Richard Bounce. I'm an alcoholic. Really grateful to be here tonight. Thank you, Abraham, for asking me to share. It's an honor to share, you know, meeting with Alcoholics Anonymous. My sobriety date is May 24th, 1988. So I just recently celebrated 38 years of sobriety. My sponsor is Gary A. And then my home group is Quality of Life. That always sounds so much better live than it does on Zoom over here. And hi to my Zoom people. But thank you for your share. That was awesome. That was awesome. 2 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:59,980 I mean, I can relate to a lot of it, like the growing up and stuff. I had the alcoholic parents and my Sundays were spent at a bar in Southgate. I was shooting pool when I was growing up. So I never went to church or anything. You know, they were getting drunk and I was shooting pool drinking Shirley Temples or whatever it was back then and all that stuff. But thank you for your share. So I want to thank my friend Genesis for coming out to hear me tonight. We work together, you know, and it's just sort of a dynamic thing. We got the old person, the experienced, and the 3 00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:29,960 young person bringing up all these new ideas and all this stuff. And so we really make a pretty good team together. I would have never thought that, you know, I would have never thought that. But here we just, we just click and it's just really cool and all this stuff. So thanks for coming up here with me. So in a general way, I'm gonna tell you what it was like, what happened and what it's like today. And I won't talk too much about my childhood. It was pretty crappy. You know, a lot of you have had it worse. But you know, I had alcoholic parents, my stepfather, my mom, and they pretty much did their own thing. And 4 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:59,800 we were left alone. So you know, if we wanted to eat, you know, we went out and stole our own food. If we wanted to eat, I grew up in Van Nuys. I was born in Van Nuys. So it used to be a piggly wiggly. That was my favorite little story. I used to go in there and I just ripped the shit out of that place. Because if we wanted to eat, that's what we did, because they weren't going to do anything, our parents. And they were so uninformed. Like when I was telling Genesis, I went by, I was thrown out of that school, you know, Newcastle Elementary, and they didn't even know that I was gone. You know, I just got on my bike, went right down to Reseda Park and all that. And they had no clue I was 5 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:03,800 suspended. They didn't, they didn't care or anything. But that's not why I'm an alcoholic. I'm 6 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:08,480 an alcoholic, because when I drink alcohol, I don't stop. And I have no control over my life. So you 7 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:12,280 know, it's just going through that. That was my childhood. And then when I was 17, I moved out 8 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:17,000 and got my own place, well not my own place, live with, you know, three other people. And we just 9 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,480 built an apartment in North Hollywood and just started really just partying, you know, just 10 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:26,620 started partying. Just, I had a job. I always had a job. That was, that ties into what I'll get to 11 00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:29,620 later. But you know, I had a job. And so we'd just party and get drunk. 12 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:36,300 All this stuff. And then when I was 20, this would have been in 1954, to be 74, I decided I 13 00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:42,300 was tired of working. I just, I want to retire. So I quit, I quit my job. I got a backpack and 14 00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:46,460 I hitchhiked and took the Greyhound bus and went across the country. I was gone for nine weeks. 15 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:51,800 And if it was me against the United States, you know, age 20. And I had fun. You know, I had fun. 16 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:56,000 I just sat there. And back then, a lot of the states, the drinking age was 18. So if I went 17 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,220 into one state, the drinking age was 21. I got out of there fast. 18 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:04,700 And Florida was 18. New York was the best. Drinking age 18, the bar stayed open until 4 a.m. 19 00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:09,460 So I, so I sat there and I was in New York for like, maybe almost a month. Because I knew some 20 00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:13,560 people there. And so I just sat there and hung out there. I was at a place called Port Jefferson 21 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,580 Station out in Long Island. Until I got thrown out of there, the cops pretty much said, hey, 22 00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:20,660 if you don't leave, we're going to arrest you. Because, you know, things were a lot lenient 23 00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:26,540 back then too, in the 70s and stuff. You know, not a lot of his today. But, so I left and came 24 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,000 back here. And then all of a sudden, you know, I was broke again. 25 00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:33,240 So I got, I got another job. And I decided, I was always one of those type of people. 26 00:03:33,340 --> 00:03:37,620 If I was here, I was better off there. You know, if I'm here, I'm there. If I'm with 27 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:42,580 this person, I'm better with that person. So I was, I got this other job and I ended 28 00:03:42,580 --> 00:03:47,340 up getting married. And I was the alcoholic drug addict. And she was a Jehovah's Witness. 29 00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:53,240 I don't know a lot of Spanish, but I know no bueno for her, for her. I put that girl 30 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,760 through hell, you know, just hell. I think she thought she could save me or something. 31 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,780 But I was just a wild guy out there, you know. 32 00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:03,840 Just a, I didn't, I didn't like people. I grew up really hating people. I mean, I just 33 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,620 had a disdain for people. You know, I think growing up with the last name of Bounce, red 34 00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:12,320 hair, my thing, whatever. I just always had, I had boulders on my shoulder. I didn't have 35 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:16,980 chips. I had boulders. And I was just pissed off at everybody. I didn't like anybody. I 36 00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:20,620 was also cold. You know, I could sit there and say something and do something. And it 37 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:24,360 didn't faze me one bit if I offended you. And this is when I was younger too. I just 38 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:29,100 didn't care. I didn't care at all. So I just would have, so here I'm with this person and 39 00:04:29,220 --> 00:04:34,400 I remember we got married in 1976. And in 1980, we were in the courts over here in Van 40 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:38,740 IJs. And I remember this like it was yesterday. She just told the judge, I don't want no alimony. 41 00:04:38,740 --> 00:04:43,460 I just never want to effing see him again. And this is a Jehovah's Witness, you know, 42 00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:47,540 cussing like that. So I used to joke, if we're going to piss, you know, if you're going to 43 00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:53,560 get divorced, piss them off so bad, they don't want alimony from you. Bad joke. Bad joke. 44 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,920 But anyway, but I just sat there and I thought, okay, now this gave me more freedom. And so 45 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,020 in my twenties, I just realized, you know, I don't want alimony. I don't want alimony. 46 00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:03,860 I just ran rampant. I sat there and I got into a few situations. Drugs are a big part 47 00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:08,980 of my story. You know, I got hooked up with a few different organizations that weren't 48 00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:14,520 the, weren't the best ones around and stuff. And so I, I used to call myself the self-proclaimed 49 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:20,260 King of Van IJs. My little operation, I brought Genesis by my own apartment where I used to 50 00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:24,680 do my stuff out of. I was like, let me give you the tour. Went by this little place, went 51 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:28,820 by this place in Hazeltown. I said, oh yeah, they used to come back here and I'd do this, 52 00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:33,040 do that. And I've given her a little tour and all that stuff. And, and yeah, and I used 53 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:37,940 to, you know, I had a little cartel thing and then the angels a little bit. I mean, 54 00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:42,880 I, I was with some rough people and I'm really grateful that I'm here alive today. Really 55 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:47,260 grateful. And so, you know, I went through that and all this stuff, but I never knew 56 00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:51,100 I was alcoholic because I always had a job. The one thing I could keep was my job. I always 57 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:55,380 had a job at the local newspaper. I, I was actually able to get myself promoted to a 58 00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:58,020 certain position where you can go without having a degree. 59 00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:03,120 As a good worker, I was just a screw up too. So I never thought of myself as an alcoholic. 60 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,120 I just knew I drank too much. I wasn't stupid, but I knew that I, uh, I didn't think I was 61 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:11,760 an alcoholic. So I just lived my life that way. I was just, uh, I get up and go to work 62 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,220 and then I started working nights. I worked nights for 19 years because I figured then 63 00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:19,180 I had to deal with people, which like I said, I hated people. So when I worked nights, it 64 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:22,940 was cool. But you know, we'd sit there and the hardest thing to do at night was make sure 65 00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:27,020 you got to the bars or the, or the thing. And I was a truck driver too for the paper, but 66 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:30,600 we all had to go and get our alcohol before 2 AM and then we could finish our routes and 67 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,600 all this stuff. 68 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:36,280 So we're all cruising around here in a local newspaper, all hammered and all this stuff, 69 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:39,880 you know, but Hey, it is what it is. And then just, that's just how I live my life. And 70 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:44,660 I would say, okay, I'm not going to drink today. And so that would last until I got 71 00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:49,480 off work. And then I go, I feel okay. I can just go have one. I just go have one. And 72 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:53,040 next you know, that one turned into whatever. And then here, and then like I said, since 73 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,820 I was working nights, I'm already hammering and it's noon from like 6 AM to noon. And I'm 74 00:06:56,820 --> 00:07:01,240 doing, and so then I try to sleep a little bit. And then my days got to a point where 75 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,880 these had a lot of strip joints there on Parthenia there in Sepulveda. Other people would know 76 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,900 where they're at, but anyway, maybe you'll grow. I don't know. So that was pretty much 77 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:14,420 my day. I'd go over to the strip joints and sit there and drink and do whatever, and then 78 00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:18,040 head on off to work, you know, and I just did that. And that was my life. And then I 79 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,580 finally got demoted from work. Cause they pretty much said, if you don't, you know, 80 00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:26,400 you know, we can't do this anymore. So they sent me, sentenced me to one of these EAP programs. 81 00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:30,440 The first time I went there, the people are talking to me and I don't know where this 82 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:35,260 came from because I'd never heard about Alcoholics Anonymous before or anything, but I listened 83 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:39,680 to this person talk and I go, do you drink? And they said, no, no, no. I got this, you 84 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,440 know, I'm college educated. And it just turned me off. I just like, well, what am I listening 85 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,320 to you for? You don't, you don't, you don't know anything about alcoholism. You don't 86 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:50,720 drink and all this stuff. And I don't know why that fazed me. And then they sent, then 87 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,820 I had to go to CORE for a couple of 502s. And like back then they were real simple back 88 00:07:54,820 --> 00:07:55,860 then. Now they're like a, like a super expensive thing. 89 00:07:55,860 --> 00:07:59,560 They got super expensive, but most of the time they got dropped. The rest was like a 90 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:03,280 hundred bucks. I remember I got arrested at Anaheim one time. I was one of those guys 91 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:07,500 that had an angel game, slid in the third base after a game. And then I, then I got 92 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:11,840 charged with assault and battery afterwards. And so I got, I got hauled into the Anaheim 93 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:17,100 house. I sort of took care of somebody. And then another time I got arrested, Van Ey. 94 00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:21,420 They used to do chokeholds. So I had a, I had a chokehold and Van Ey. I was all proud 95 00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:25,420 of this stuff, you know, because like I said, I didn't care and I didn't care what I said. 96 00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:28,960 So I was just say shit to people or cops. I didn't care who they were. You know, I had 97 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,680 my hands behind my back. Cause I've just called them cowards and, you know, pantyways. Yeah. 98 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:36,080 You're real tough. You know, you're real tough. And my hands tied behind my back. Why don't 99 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,820 you just, you know, let me go. But next thing you know, you got five cops on me kicking 100 00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:45,680 my ass. So, but anyway, you know, it was just, that's just how I lived my life. And, and 101 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,920 then things started to get worse and worse. And then all of a sudden I started losing 102 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:55,400 the apartment and I lost that other import export job because unfortunately most of the 103 00:08:55,420 --> 00:09:01,540 import stuff was being exported out of different areas. And next thing you know, I was broke 104 00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:04,980 and then I was running from certain people and it was like, no, this isn't good. And 105 00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:10,220 so I ended up flopping on people's couches and here I have this good job, the newspaper, 106 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:14,600 the daily news, but here I am flopping on people's couches because I just couldn't keep 107 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,820 my apartment. And so, uh, then they get tired of my shit and they would throw me out. Then 108 00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:22,060 I go, well, I'm just going to live in my truck. I don't care. Live in my truck. And then it 109 00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:25,400 got repossessed. So then I go, so not dead at all. I hear all this shit. I don't care. 110 00:09:25,420 --> 00:09:30,320 Here I am. I'm 30 years old, 31 years old or something, sleeping on my mom's couch in 111 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:34,580 North Hollywood. I'm thinking, well, I'm running a department for the paper. It's like, this 112 00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:38,500 is pretty pathetic. But like I said, I wasn't an alcoholic because I wasn't living on 5th 113 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:42,760 and Main and I had a job. So I just go, okay, I'll get through this. So I just kept with 114 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,760 the, like I said, I can go through more horror stories, but I know we've all been there and 115 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:51,580 did all that stuff. And then another time I got arrested for a 502. This was in 1986 116 00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:55,300 and they sentenced me to Alcoholics Anonymous. What the fuck? 117 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,960 AA. And then it was funny too. You know, they used to have those rehab, you know, those 118 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:03,800 classes you have to go to. I used to always see these people standing on Oxnard and Sepulveda, 119 00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:07,060 you know, smoking cigarettes and going, who are these people? And now, well, I became 120 00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:12,980 one of them. You know, also now I know why these people are here. And so I went to a 121 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:18,320 meeting, Radford, sat there, 31 years old going, this is pathetic. All these fucking 122 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:25,320 losers. Oh, sorry. I confused Tuesday with Saturday. Sorry. That won't happen again. 123 00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:29,920 Uh, I saw these, you know, I'm sitting there looking at these people out there. They all, 124 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:35,440 they seem old, fat, bald. And I'm going, I'm really in the losers club. And then my brain 125 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:40,540 started thinking, wait a second, this is anonymous. So I took my court card to the bar. I said, 126 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:45,300 Hey, can you guys just sign your name? First name, last initial, don't spill any beer on 127 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:51,100 it. So I had my court card filled out at the bar and turned it in. And of course the judge, 128 00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:55,180 I was all proud of myself. I beat the system, but then things just started to get worse. 129 00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:59,440 And worse and worse. And then, uh, I used to drink at this one bar. It used to be called 130 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,920 Bourbon Square over there on, uh, Sepulveda and Victory. It's not there anymore. It's 131 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:06,940 a Jiffy Lube. I shouldn't show her one of my old bars. That was a stinking Jiffy Lube. 132 00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:12,540 And so anyway, I was there and the bartender there, she goes, Richard, you ever tried Alcoholics 133 00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:17,800 Anonymous? This is the bartender. And I go, no, I don't need that. I tried it once. You 134 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:21,540 know, that was my one experience. I, you know, I, then she shared that her husband who was 135 00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:25,400 in prison got sober and, uh, through AA and all this stuff. So I was like, well, I'm going 136 00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:30,500 to do this. So I said, okay. And so I signed up for the EAP program again at the newspaper, 137 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:35,020 but this time it was run by an alcoholic. And so he just, he made sense. And so I started 138 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:38,780 listening to him, but I still wasn't convinced I was alcohol. I just figured, okay, I got 139 00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:42,840 to keep my job and all this other stuff. I'll go to this thing. So then they had me go in 140 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:48,380 the meetings. So I started going to this place. Now this was May 24th, 1988. I walked into 141 00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:53,520 a place called Unit A. It was on Lancashire at the time. And I walked in there, 7 AM meeting 142 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:54,520 and I'm looking around. 143 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:58,540 And they have all this stuff on the walls. And I, you know, I smoked back then and you 144 00:11:58,540 --> 00:12:02,000 could smoke in the room. So I went and sat in the corner and I just thought, my life's 145 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,460 sober. What do sober people do? You know, I'm going to be bored to death. You know, 146 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:09,720 I don't, what do sober people do? I had no idea what they did. But so I just sat there. 147 00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:13,460 I never raised my hand. And if you're here tonight and you're new and you don't want 148 00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:17,660 to be here, that's okay. Cause that was my story. And so I didn't raise my hand. I just 149 00:12:17,660 --> 00:12:24,180 sat there, got my thing signed, came back the next day, sat there feeling so good. I 150 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:28,520 was just going to kill myself. If this is going to be my life, watching TV and what, 151 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,540 going to church. I don't know. I never did either. I never was a TV person either. But 152 00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:37,820 then I started going and all of a sudden my brain was clearing a little bit. And then 153 00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:42,540 this was the whole key for me. I started listening to the similarities instead of the differences. 154 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:46,640 And I went, wow, I guess I'm an alcoholic whether I want to be or not, you know? And 155 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:51,500 so it was that time. And I don't remember if it was 25, 30 days, somewhere in that range. 156 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,060 It was the first time I actually raised my hand as an alcoholic. 157 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,900 It was the first time I really admitted to my innermost self that I was alcoholic. And 158 00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:01,940 so I finally did step one. And then I just started to feel better. You know, all of a 159 00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:06,500 sudden I started realizing when I had 30 days or 40 days, whatever, that, uh, wow, I hadn't 160 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:11,300 been arrested in 40 days. I remember where I was the previous 40 nights, you know, cause 161 00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:15,460 I was a blackout drinker. You know, my normal thing was I would go into a bar the next day 162 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:20,080 and go, how was I? And then they would go, oh, you were just drunk. I go, okay. You know, 163 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,480 there was another time, like I say, you can do a lot of fights. There was this big, there 164 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:24,440 was a cowboy bar. 165 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:28,140 On Sherman Way in Woodman. Used to go over there. It was called Little Nashville. I think 166 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:32,000 that was the name of it. And I got into a fight one time there. And I guess I had broken 167 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,280 my ankle, but you know, I'm not going to stop me. They tried, my friends tried to pull me 168 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:39,220 out and it's just, and so I said, I said, I said, screw it. So I'm going to go back 169 00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:43,400 into the thing. So I went back in on my broken ankle and continued the fight. And then I 170 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:47,520 wouldn't go to the hospital. So then I woke up the next day and I, what's wrong with my 171 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:51,640 ankle? And I looked at the little throbbing thing there and all that. So I'm getting that 172 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,420 done. But that didn't stop me. Here I was on the ninth floor of Kaiser, the Panorama 173 00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:59,540 City, smoking, drinking, had my, you know, just sitting there thinking, okay, I'm going 174 00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:02,820 to get those people. That's all I thought about was revenge. That's what I thought about 175 00:14:02,820 --> 00:14:07,040 what I was going to do to get back at them. But, uh, I don't do that today. So I'm going 176 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:12,440 to the meetings. And then for me, I think it was 45 days I had to go get it signed. 177 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:17,760 And so when I went there on day 46, I didn't have to be there. And I thought, okay, I guess 178 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,460 I, this is cool because now I'm here the first time that I didn't have to be here. 179 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,060 You know, the other 45 days I needed signatures and all that, but I didn't have to be here. 180 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:29,300 And then I just started to meet people. Like I said, we're in May. And then the guys there 181 00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:32,380 at unit A, they say, Hey, we're going to go to a Dodger game. You can't go to a Dodger 182 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:37,500 game, Silver. Come on. I've been thrown out of Dodger Stadium so many times and, or Rams 183 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:42,460 and all this, you know, I guess throwing out the same Rams game twice, the same game. But 184 00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:47,800 I went to the game and had fun. Didn't start a fight. I, uh, remember being there and actually 185 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,360 had a good time. I was one of those kind of fans. I always wore the opposite team's hat. 186 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,800 Just, just to start a fight. You know, that's all I want to do. I just want to start a fight. 187 00:14:55,800 --> 00:15:02,360 And so, uh, yeah, Dick was appropriate. My, my nickname. But anyway, uh, but then I just 188 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,980 started to have fun and just started doing things. But then I got into, then I found 189 00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:09,920 a beat in the San Fernando Valley. The one thing I was, was I was a good athlete. So 190 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:15,140 I signed up, I was playing on the sober softball league and I was doing sober skiing. And then 191 00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:19,480 there was a bowling league that they had started at the Granada Hills bowl. And you know, in 192 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,240 1989 and 1990, I got a job at the Granada Hills bowl. And I was a good athlete. I was a good 193 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:25,340 kiddie. I got the certificate for the bowler with the gutter, but the biggest gutter mouth 194 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:29,380 two years in a row. And you know, I still had those certificates at home. So I'm really 195 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:34,160 a lot better than I was really a lot better. I apologize for the couple of times, but yeah, 196 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:39,080 I still had those certificates at home. But anyway, uh, so I was doing that and I was 197 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,880 having all this fun, you know, I was like, wow, this sobriety is not bad, but I was still 198 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:48,120 miserable inside. Like I said, I still hated people and I just, I was miserable. And then 199 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,120 it was brought to my attention. 200 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:50,120 Well, if you maybe work these steps, you know, you're going to be a good athlete. 201 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:53,900 If you work these steps, you know, you might come a better, you know, better person. You 202 00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:57,920 know, you're, you're having fun, but you know, you're not, you're not improving yourself. 203 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:02,120 So then I was able to do the first step, but then the second step was really hard because 204 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:06,480 I thought, okay, you know, I never went to church or any of that stuff. I wasn't pro 205 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:10,140 God, anti-God or anything. I just never went to church. I didn't think about it. And so 206 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:13,840 I remember that this guy came up to me, he says, Richard, look at the first word and 207 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,840 the second step. He said, came to believe. Didn't say you have to believe you must believe 208 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,840 you will. It said, came to believe. 209 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:24,140 So I sat down, relax, don't drink and let it happen. And then eventually I came to believe 210 00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:28,260 in a power greater myself, who I call God, who's my higher power today. And then I was 211 00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:32,020 doing the other steps. And you know, of course when I got to four and five, since I didn't 212 00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:36,060 trust people, I had over two years, two and a half years before I finally did my fifth 213 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:39,480 step. So, you know, it wasn't a 30 day wonder and I wasn't going to go out there and do 214 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,400 it right away, but I didn't, didn't trust anybody. And there was no way I was going 215 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:47,120 to read this thing. I had an apartment by myself and I was still hiding my four step 216 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:48,120 in my apartment. 217 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,120 Cause I thought somebody might see it. 218 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,120 It wasn't anything weird or anything. 219 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:54,300 It was just, I just didn't want people to know my business. And so I sponsored at the 220 00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:55,300 time. 221 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:58,740 He said, Richard, enough. He took me in the car. We went onto the five freeway. He said, 222 00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:01,960 we're going to drive north. You're going to read this thing. And then when you're done, 223 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,880 we'll do the six step and we're going to come back. I think we got somewhere outside of 224 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:08,260 Bakersfield or something when I was finally finished. And then we stopped and turned around 225 00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:13,020 and came back. And then he shared his experiences based on what I had said and all this stuff. 226 00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:17,120 And so I really felt like at that point now I'm really in the program. You know, it was 227 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,120 really, I'm starting to trust people. 228 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:24,100 I still had this thing about trust and uh, I just didn't trust people. And so I was, you 229 00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:28,120 know, things are going well and all this stuff and you know, job, I got, you know, I got 230 00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:32,460 my job back to promotion and all this stuff. And then I bought my house. I brought Genesis 231 00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:36,860 by house, my little house I bought on Densmore. It was a little 900 square foot home, which 232 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:40,500 was big enough for me because I made sure I just had something that I could afford on 233 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:43,300 my own. I didn't want to, I never depended on other people. That's just cause I was brought 234 00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:47,300 up. I wasn't going to rely on anybody else. So I brought it, bought this little house, 235 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,300 plenty big enough for me. 236 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:52,360 And I had a good time. And then, uh, somebody asked me to be security at this event, New 237 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:56,320 Year's Eve event down at Redondo beach. I said, okay, yeah, whatever. It was a Pacific 238 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,800 group thing. I said, yeah, I'll go. I don't care. And then I met her. And then, uh, this 239 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:04,720 year in September, we're coming down 30 years marriage, you know, which is a miracle considering 240 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:09,320 I'm not the easiest person to live with, but, uh, you know, so we're, you know, I met Jackie 241 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,780 and then, uh, we ended up getting married in 1996. Like I said, in September, we'll 242 00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:17,300 have 30 years and it's just, it's just a miracle of the program because. 243 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,300 Yeah. 244 00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:22,840 It's fair. I was going to be by myself, you know, and just live by myself and, and just 245 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,300 how it was, you know, and I didn't really any other way. So, you know, so we're doing 246 00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:30,920 good and this time too, I'm working the steps. I'm to the best of my ability. I have sponsees, 247 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:35,060 you know, I'm doing a program. I'm like, I said, I'm not a big book thumper or whatever, 248 00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:39,740 but you know, I'm not really a very good reader either. I'm a lousy reader. So my sponsor 249 00:18:39,740 --> 00:18:43,240 would have me just read one or two pages a day. And he says, if you do that, you're going 250 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:47,300 to get through the book a couple of times a year. And so that's what I do even today. 251 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:51,060 You know, I just, like I said, not going to school when I was younger, no excuses. 252 00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:55,180 I just, I'm not a great reader. And so, and I have the dictionary. Well, now I use the 253 00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:58,340 phone, you know, I'm still seeing words in there. I got to look up. What does that mean? 254 00:18:58,340 --> 00:19:03,620 Oh, cool. You know, and all this stuff. And so, and I'm not ashamed to say that I do that. 255 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:08,600 And then I just, just living life and I was able to, and then my wife's daughter got married 256 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:13,720 and moved up to this place called Apple Valley. Apple where? You know, so we were driving 257 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,300 up there and then she said, Richard, I got to be near my daughter. I said, okay. Okay. 258 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:17,300 Yeah. 259 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:22,560 So we moved up there in 2002. We're still up there, you know, and I like it. I was able 260 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:26,060 to start a company up there, a real estate company and, you know, did, did fairly well. 261 00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:29,860 I don't think I would have been able to do that down here, but just, just living life 262 00:19:29,860 --> 00:19:32,940 and I get to be part of the community. And this is all because I'm a sober member of 263 00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:36,920 Alcoholics Anonymous. You know, I get to be part of the community. I used to do a lot 264 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:41,580 of service when I was down here. I had a panel at a, what's the one in Acton? Well, Wayside 265 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:45,640 and there's another one in Acton. What? Yeah. Somewhere in there. I used to have a panel 266 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:46,640 there, a book study there. 267 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,140 Gotcha. 268 00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:50,680 And I used to have one, there's one in Acton too, I think. And then there was one 269 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:54,980 in Wayside that did that. And so I had, I had my panels and I, and I, you know, I enjoyed 270 00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:59,160 doing that. We used to have one at St. Joseph's Hospital, one of the St. Joseph's in Burbank, 271 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,540 used to go there and stuff. And I really enjoyed that. And then up there, I got more into the 272 00:20:02,540 --> 00:20:07,180 community and so I just started being part of the community, you know, doing events and 273 00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:14,080 helping out. I got into down here, a place called ARC, it's called Activities and Recreation 274 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,540 and Care for Developmentally Disabled Adults. 275 00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:16,640 Yeah. 276 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:21,880 And so I started volunteering there in 1993. And I just love it. You know, I just loved 277 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:26,500 it. You know, I love those kids. I don't have any kids myself. So these were like my kids. 278 00:20:26,820 --> 00:20:30,920 And part of my intolerance for people was because I watched, you know, most of them 279 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,560 had Down syndrome. I watched how they struggle, how they, how their work and how they're doing 280 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:39,500 their stuff and how they're getting by and all. And I got a credential to teach for the 281 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:43,480 school district for math and English with them. And just to see how they're struggling 282 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,600 and it'd take me like three or four weeks to get three plus three. And then they would 283 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,540 get it. And it was really cool. And they're so proud of themselves. I did basketball and 284 00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:54,980 softball for Special Olympics. And you know, I teach them a play and they'd be all happy 285 00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:58,660 they're playing. I said, okay, now we're gonna do play two. But play two always looked like 286 00:20:58,660 --> 00:21:03,660 play one. So we just stuck with play one, you know, but the one thing that I was able 287 00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:07,320 to do, and this is all because of Alcoholics Anonymous and stuff and was I treated them 288 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,700 like adults because they were adults, even though they, their mentality, they were adults 289 00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:15,480 and their parents, that's what they loved about me. I wasn't tapped on the head. We're 290 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:16,480 in the basketball court. 291 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,600 We're yelling at them and this and that. And they loved it because that's what coaches 292 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:23,300 did. And I would look at it with a scorn and they knew they did something wrong. They'd 293 00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:26,700 go take a lap. I didn't even have to tell them to take the lap. They just do. They're 294 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:30,280 going to go run a lap and all this stuff. And I'm not emotionally, don't get really 295 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:34,640 emotion that much. But when we moved up here, I ended up quitting my job at the paper because 296 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,800 I really loved working with them. And I became an activity director for the place over there 297 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,840 in North Hollywood. And I had to tell them I was leaving. And I think that's probably 298 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,920 the only time I really broke down. It was just really emotional because before, like 299 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:52,060 people died or whatever, I didn't care. It never fazed me. Not one bit, but those kids 300 00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:57,300 did. And so now up where I live, there's a place called Rocking Our Disabilities. And 301 00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:01,940 Dana, I was, I've been friends with her. So I talked with her and I told her about my 302 00:22:01,940 --> 00:22:05,700 experience down here. So I've been a board member with them up there and I started their 303 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:10,480 basketball program up there and we do a lot of stuff. Genesis helps out there and all 304 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,480 stuff. And it's just fun. They all come up to me and those are my new kids. You know, 305 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,480 those are my children. And I just, you know, I just love being with them. 306 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:21,180 And it's just, it's a lot of fun. And so that's like one of my big joys. And I get 307 00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:24,780 to do that because I'm a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, because if I wasn't, 308 00:22:24,780 --> 00:22:28,800 I wouldn't care, number one. And I definitely wouldn't do stuff like that. And then what's 309 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:33,480 going on now is so about three years ago, three and a half years ago, I was like, you 310 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:37,580 know what, I'm 68. I don't want to run an office anymore. I'm going to probably slow 311 00:22:37,580 --> 00:22:42,060 down a little bit. I'm just going to sit there and just shut down my office and go work for 312 00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:43,060 somebody else. 313 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:48,020 I'm not sure how long I would last working for somebody else. And then when we were this 314 00:22:48,020 --> 00:22:53,240 one other company, it was still pretty independent. So I pretty much could still do what I want. 315 00:22:53,240 --> 00:23:00,360 But then my broker signed on with a franchise. I hated franchises. And so things just started 316 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:04,600 getting worse. And I just didn't like it there at all. I thought, you know what, if I'm going 317 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:09,260 to continue to do this, I'm going to go back to doing what I want to do. So I left there 318 00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:14,140 and it wasn't the greatest of terms, but I really didn't care. And then Genesis came 319 00:23:14,140 --> 00:23:17,560 with me. And then I have another couple of other young people that came with me. So we're 320 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:21,980 starting a brand new real estate company again. And here at 71, you know, I get to start a 321 00:23:21,980 --> 00:23:26,400 real estate company and all this stuff. And we work together. You know, I'm working on 322 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:30,900 a graphic. That's what I love the youngest, right? 15 minutes. She has this great graphic 323 00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:36,800 flyer. It takes me about 15 days to figure it out. You know, she's got to, we're sitting 324 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,460 in our chat next, you know, how's this look rich and all this stuff. So, you know, I get 325 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:43,780 to do that and I'm having fun, you know, having fun. 326 00:23:44,140 --> 00:23:48,040 We, my wife and I, we've had season tickets to the Clippers forever and we still have 327 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:52,880 season tickets for the Clippers. So we go down to the basketball and have fun and we 328 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,640 go down to the football games and I'm not getting thrown out and all this other stuff 329 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,740 and just having fun. And I see the people around me are getting drunk and doing this. 330 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:05,740 I'm looking, yeah, that used to be me. I used to be that guy at the game being hauled out 331 00:24:05,740 --> 00:24:10,120 for fighting and all this other stuff. But now I just get to have fun. And like I said, 332 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:14,100 just doing this, though, this new company, I feel like I'm alive again, you know, because 333 00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:19,020 now if I'm going to work, at least I'm having fun. And then another thing, too, I'm a fan 334 00:24:19,020 --> 00:24:24,140 of tattoos. And so I decided I was going to go back to getting some more again. So I had, 335 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:31,360 so just recently I got a big old dragon on my back. I got a dragon on my back. And then 336 00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:36,520 on Thursday, I got a cobra going to go right here and all this stuff. And hey, that's what 337 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:42,740 I get to do, right? Lame sobriety. This is sobriety. You know, but it's funny when the 338 00:24:42,740 --> 00:24:43,980 guy was doing the dragon. 339 00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:49,300 He goes, you know, you have brittle skin. I go, brittle, brittle skin. I've been told 340 00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:54,300 a lot of things. You get older and all this stuff because he's done, he's done all my 341 00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:58,380 work. And so now he's a good guy. And he's holding a needle. You think I'm going to punch 342 00:24:58,380 --> 00:25:03,500 him? So anyway, he's going to do my cobra. So I'm excited about it. You know, I know 343 00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:07,240 this is a painful area, but anyway, I don't care. But it's just, you know, it's just fun 344 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:12,180 to do stuff like that because I used to tell myself, OK, I'm saving up for the future. 345 00:25:12,180 --> 00:25:13,800 Well, guess what? My future is now. 346 00:25:14,100 --> 00:25:18,260 So I'm going to, I'm going to, I spent a whole bunch of money to go see the Metallica 347 00:25:18,260 --> 00:25:24,100 at the Sphere, you know, so I'm going to go there in November and then I'm going to go 348 00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:29,300 see ACDC at the Allegiant. You know, I thought, OK, I got this, I got this extra money now. 349 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:35,100 Why not? And so, and one place I've always wanted to go to is Portugal. So I'll probably 350 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:39,240 end up going by myself. My wife does, she won't go overseas, but I'll go by myself because 351 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:43,100 I'm a loner and I don't care if I go, I can do stuff by myself. I don't care. And so I'm 352 00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:44,100 going to go to Portugal. 353 00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:48,340 I'll be next year sometime. So this is just stuff that, you know, I get to do and it's 354 00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:52,560 because I'm sober because before I'd be sitting in the bar, like if I was on vacation, if 355 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:56,800 I got paid on Thursday, of course I was broke by Thursday night. And so I would sit there 356 00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:01,380 and lie when I got back to work. Where'd you go? Oh, I did this. I did that. It was a shame 357 00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:05,560 to say what I really did on vacation, but now I really get to go and I get to experience 358 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:09,260 stuff and I get to remember being there. And, and like I said, it's just real important 359 00:26:09,260 --> 00:26:13,220 that I get to be a, like I said, just a whole different person. And I love what you said 360 00:26:13,220 --> 00:26:18,380 about being a different person because I know I am nowhere near the same person that 361 00:26:18,380 --> 00:26:23,920 I was 33 years, I mean, 38 years ago than I am today. Not even close. I mean, I have 362 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:29,940 feelings today. I care about people. I can't, I've watched what if I say something to whatever 363 00:26:29,940 --> 00:26:35,880 I will instantly apologize for before I didn't care if I hurt you or not. So I have feelings 364 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,100 today and it's kind of cool that, you know, I get to be that way. And I just, uh, is my 365 00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:43,200 time up? Oh, you have one minute. And so I'm just, uh, really, really excited about being 366 00:26:43,220 --> 00:26:45,960 here. I'm really grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm grateful for this group. You 367 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:50,640 know, back in the eighties and nineties, I used to go to licensed session and all that 368 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,660 stuff. And then of course I moved and all this stuff. And so up in Apple Valley, when 369 00:26:54,660 --> 00:26:58,560 I saw that this was, you know, be online, I was like, this is great. So now I get to 370 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,720 be part of this group again. And then I became this, this became my home group. And so I 371 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:07,240 just love quality of life. I love this. I love the structure. I only cussed twice. That's 372 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,140 actually not bad. 373 00:27:08,140 --> 00:27:13,140 The work time isn't on the PMO. I forgot about the other two, but you know, 374 00:27:13,220 --> 00:27:16,700 I, and I love, and you know, it's funny for my birthday, you know, the only calls I got 375 00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:21,300 for my birthday were from people from this group or acknowledgements was from this group. 376 00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:24,900 So that's just, once again, tells me how much I love being, you know, a member of quality 377 00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:29,580 of life and stuff. And like I said, I'm just really honored to be here tonight. And thank 378 00:27:29,580 --> 00:27:33,920 you again, Abraham, you know, for asking me, you know, to share. And it was, it was a no 379 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:38,240 brainer that I was going to come down here live just to take the cake. And then I get 380 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:43,080 the share too, you know, at the same time. So this is pretty cool. So anyway, my time's 381 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:47,040 up. And like I said, thank you all for being here and thank you.