1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:24,720 I'm Fred. I'm an alcoholic. I'm grateful to be here and sober. My sobriety date is December 3rd, 2014. I have a sponsor. His name is Nathan Sixson. And Abraham, thanks for asking me to come and share. And thanks, Ara, for being here. Ryan, David, Ish, USR. My home group is the USR group in Northridge. 2 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:54,420 I'm Patty. Thanks for writing. Thanks for driving me. Thanks for writing over here. And me and Patty go, whenever she speaks, I go and hear, listen to her talk. And I always enjoy her talk. So Alcoholics Anonymous has been good to me. You know, Alcoholics Anonymous has shown me how to live this life, you know, sober, like a sober member. I didn't know how to live. 3 00:00:54,420 --> 00:01:24,400 You know, I did not know how to live. I was born in Iran. I'm Armenian. I have a brother and a sister younger than me, about a year younger than me. My brother's a year younger. My sister's a couple years younger. And yeah, we had everything that we asked for. You know, I was never, you know, my parents always provided for us. You know, we never, you know, felt like we were short, you know, on anything, you know, when we were living over there. 4 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:54,380 You know, and then they decided, you know, because of the war and all that, this was back in the 70s, 80 something, 84, 85. They decided to leave because it was getting too dangerous. And I didn't, they didn't want me to go to the army and all of that. So we, they decided to come here. I didn't know at the time why, you know, I had everything I needed over there. I had my bicycle, you know, my little bicycle. I love my bicycle, you know. But yeah, they wanted to come here. And at the time, you know, I felt like I was going to die. 5 00:01:54,400 --> 00:02:24,380 I felt like they were taking something from me, you know. They had to sell everything, the house, all my toys, my bicycle. And they had taken something from me. And I remember on the airplane coming here, coming, getting out of there because we went from there to Germany because we couldn't leave and come to the United States. We had to lie and say that we're going on vacation, you know, in order to get out of there. And we were going to Germany. I remember on the plane saying, you know, I'm never going to see my family. 6 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:53,900 I'm never going to see my family again. You know, I'm never going to see my grandparent, grandma, grandpa, you know, and uncles. And I haven't, you know, I haven't gone back, you know. And my couple of my uncles on my dad's side and my grandma were able to come here, you know, a few years later, way a few years later. But, you know, I got to see them. And I remember, yeah, I remember I was really sad, you know, and why do we have to leave? And, you know, I never, I was crying, you know, broken. 7 00:02:54,400 --> 00:03:21,640 And went to Germany for the first time, you know, went from a Muslim country where you had to, you know, where my mom always had to be covered up and all of that stuff. And when we were in Germany, she didn't wear that, you know. And in my psyche, I'm like, oh, mom, you know, like I was scared, you know, like put it back on. They're going to come, you know, like because they used to come in your house without invitation, you know, just to come in, you know. 8 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,600 And I was like, mom, you know, where are you? 9 00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:24,540 Oh, Fred, it's me. 10 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:39,340 It's okay. It's okay. You know, it's not like that here, you know. And it was a surprise to me, you know. And again, in my psyche, you know, police and guards and all of those kind of things. I was always on guard, you know, fear, you know. 11 00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:52,460 And so went to Germany. And then from Germany, we came to the United States. I got here in 1990 with my family. And we ended up in Glendale, little Armenia. And, you know, and there was a lot of Armenians around. 12 00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:54,460 So we got a little community over. 13 00:03:54,560 --> 00:04:09,140 And, you know, I started hanging around with the guys, you know, the, you know, fifth grade, sixth grade, you know, seventh grade, you know. And, you know, I remember when I was in the fifth grade, I used to listen to, I still listen to Michael. 14 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:24,540 Michael Jackson is one of my favorite, you know, artists. And I love music. Music was a way of, you know, for me was a way of expression. But, you know, and I remember my uncles back in Iran, they used to listen to Michael Jackson, BGs, you know. 15 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:35,520 And all of them, you know, American music, you know. And they used to break dance, you know. And I remember watching them. They had parties and stuff like that and watching them drinking, you know. 16 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:41,800 And I was like, wow, you know, that's what life is about, right? They're drinking, having a good time, you know, and all of that stuff. 17 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:49,900 And so anyway, by music, you know, where was I going with this, with Michael Jackson? I don't know how I got there. But, oh, yeah, the talent show. 18 00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:54,540 So fifth grade, I just had got here to the United States and my neighbor saw me, you know. 19 00:04:54,560 --> 00:05:01,480 That I could move, I could dance and all of that stuff. And he got me to join the talent show, you know, in fifth grade. 20 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:07,280 And once I did the talent show, the whole school knew who I was. So that's how, you know, I became popular, you know. 21 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:18,460 I just started to jump. I just got to the United States and I did this thing. And fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, all these kids, you know, knew who I was, you know, because of that cool experience. 22 00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:22,620 You know, I didn't even know nothing about nothing. And so that's how it went. 23 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,460 So years later. 24 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:38,600 Went by and all of that. And, you know, my parents, you know, were very guarded. They always guarded, you know, make sure, you know, I went to school, came home on the right time, this and that, you know, very guarded. 25 00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:48,820 Then there was problems in their marriage, you know, their problems, you know, my dad used to get drunk real bad, you know, you know, beat up on my mom and this and that. 26 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,360 And I got to see this. 27 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,540 I was claiming I was cheating on her and she was cheating. 28 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:56,140 On him and all of that stuff. 29 00:05:56,140 --> 00:06:03,640 And hearing that those kind of things, it was it was like, let me find out, you know, and so I was anyway. 30 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:15,760 So that's where I saw alcohol, you know, where what it did to my dad, you know, like like the beating and all of those things and beating us up and all of that. 31 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:20,540 And but he was a he was a good, you know, he's a good person was not drinking. 32 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:24,380 Right. And so I remember when they were separating, you know. 33 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:28,320 They did get back together, you know, fight, get back together, fight. 34 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,620 And finally they had broke up, you know, and they split and all of that stuff. 35 00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:33,080 And they let me go. 36 00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:37,260 You know, they were like, you know, I didn't have to show up on time. 37 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,200 I didn't have a curfew. 38 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:47,060 And little by little, you know, they let me stay out late, you know, and hanging out with the guys and all of that stuff, you know. 39 00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:53,680 And back at a high school, I graduated high school by the skin of my teeth. 40 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:54,060 I graduated. 41 00:06:54,560 --> 00:07:00,740 You know, and and I remember my my history teacher, you know, I was barely graduating. 42 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,460 And she was like, you know, Miss Collins, I'm going to bring you flowers, this and that. 43 00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:10,220 Make sure, you know, I graduate, you know, and she's like, you better bring me my flowers or now you're not graduating, you know. 44 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:16,880 So went to Magic Mountain because you had to go to Magic Mountain after, you know, graduation and all of that stuff. 45 00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:23,180 And after Magic Mountain, I went back and I got her flowers and she put in my grade, you know, I can make this stuff up, you know. 46 00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,180 But so I graduated. 47 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,400 You know, first year, second year, I always had a hard time finding a job. 48 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:34,860 I couldn't find a job, you know, try to go to Glenelg College, you know, get a little little education after that. 49 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:35,600 You know what I'm saying? 50 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,520 Oh, because my friends were going and all of that. 51 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:52,240 I didn't like to go to school, you know, I did not like to go to school, you know, and I got me a little job at Office Depot, you know, I try to get a job at Burger King, you know, when they were hiring me at Burger King, I don't know why they didn't hire me at Burger King. 52 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,000 They hired my friend, but they didn't hire me. 53 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,060 I was willing. 54 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,680 I got a resentment. 55 00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:58,840 I'm serious. 56 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,100 How do you get not get hired at Burger King? 57 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:01,520 Right. 58 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:16,280 And so, you know, we're drinking with the guys and here and there, you know, I remember the first time I took my first drink, you know, my dad was it was Easter time and my dad was coming home and we had to wait till like ten o'clock till he got home. 59 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,900 And I know there was wine there. 60 00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:23,440 And I remember drinking the wine and I remember that wine going down. 61 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,400 And it was. 62 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,220 It was as it was going down. 63 00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:35,440 I felt this feeling come over me like like from the first second sip, you know, that that oh, my God, what is this juice? 64 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:43,060 You know, like and I remembered, you know, the the laughter with my uncles, you know what I'm saying, all of that stuff. 65 00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:44,860 And I did. This is what it's about. 66 00:08:44,860 --> 00:08:48,020 You know, so I my dad got home. 67 00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:49,420 You see me buzzed. 68 00:08:49,420 --> 00:08:50,440 You whooped on me. 69 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,240 I went to my room and I couldn't wait to do that again. 70 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,280 You know, I know. So. 71 00:08:54,280 --> 00:09:06,460 I found, you know, the guys that drank, you know, on the weekends when drinking, you know, my my friends, parents used to go out at parties on on Fridays or Saturday nights. 72 00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:16,960 We used to go over there and drink, you know, and I never asked how you refilled those bottles, you know, because we were drinking their liquor, you know, because we were too young to get liquor, you know what I mean? 73 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:22,130 And anyway, and that's how it happened. 74 00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:24,290 And drinking started where. 75 00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:31,850 From the from the beginning, it was hard on me, you know, like from the beginning was problems already. 76 00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:34,710 You know, I got my first DUI at the age of 18. 77 00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:52,610 I remember we're at a palace in Hollywood and this was like two o'clock in the morning, you know, and I'm sitting in my dad's Cadillac that he let me borrow and I got three or four guys in my car and just looked on my left. 78 00:09:52,610 --> 00:09:53,930 This guy's looking at me. 79 00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:55,430 I'm what are you looking at? 80 00:09:55,430 --> 00:10:00,650 You know, with some curse words, he threw a drink in my in the car, right in the dash. 81 00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:02,270 And I just followed this guy. 82 00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:04,170 He took off and I followed him. 83 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:10,670 I followed him through Santa Monica, you know, going on on onto oncoming traffic and this and that. 84 00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:17,370 Then we have helicopters, police everywhere and get down and they did blocked off the street. 85 00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:18,490 Get out of the car. 86 00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:20,450 I got out of my car and this and that. 87 00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:21,950 And I got arrested for DUI. 88 00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:23,750 That was my first experience with. 89 00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:33,410 The police and I didn't I didn't get my license back till 21 and I try to be a good kid. 90 00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:35,270 Right. I try to be a good kid. 91 00:10:35,270 --> 00:10:36,290 Follow the rules. 92 00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:37,910 Drive one suspended license. 93 00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:40,970 Make sure I'm looking in my rear view all the time when I'm driving. 94 00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,050 You know, I had to do that. 95 00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:51,170 I had to drive, you know, and I'm drinking too and driving, you know, and again, the years few years went by. 96 00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:53,470 I am at this time. 97 00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:57,310 I was starting to hang out with some other guys that were doing some illegal stuff. 98 00:10:57,310 --> 00:11:09,780 You know, we're starting to rob grocery stores, not rob, but going in there and taking bottles of liquor, you know, and we're bootlegging it to the this not being recorded. 99 00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:12,540 This is not right. 100 00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:17,580 Bootlegging it to the little stores, you know, like the mom and pop shops in Glendale. 101 00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:23,580 And we're hitting a lot of a lot of bottles of liquor, you know, and and that's how we got our money. 102 00:11:23,580 --> 00:11:29,820 You know, I didn't work, you know, and we used to go to strip clubs and do all this this crazy stuff. 103 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:33,060 Money came real fast and it went faster. 104 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:38,520 You know, I was trying to save some money to buy me a vehicle, a nice vehicle. 105 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:45,480 By the time I had enough money, there was an incident where Patty told me to tell the crazy story. 106 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,520 So I'm going to tell you a couple of crazy stories. 107 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:53,460 Right now, I'm we're in we're going in the in the in the in the in the store. 108 00:11:53,460 --> 00:12:01,500 And I'm walking around and I'm looking at the bottles and through the bottles, I see a guy looking at me, this guy looking at me. 109 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,120 So so we leave. Right. 110 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:07,620 We leave while we're driving and we're following this truck that we're hitting. 111 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:13,380 You know, we used to hit these 18 wheelers that had cigarettes, cartons of cartons of cigarettes. 112 00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:18,120 And and we're following this truck all the way to like Valencia, this and that. 113 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,460 And I'm looking in my mirror, this car is following me. 114 00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:23,400 I told my friend, I said, dude, this car is following me. 115 00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:25,920 Dude, we're being followed. 116 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,520 Hey, you're tripping this and that. 117 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:32,160 And so we're coming all the way back in Glendale from Valencia, going back all the way back. 118 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,240 And I said, dude, this car is following me, bro. 119 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,620 And he's like, no, they're not following us. 120 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,120 I said, watch this, man. 121 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,400 I hit the brakes and I got out of the car. 122 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,040 I said, well, what do you what are you following? 123 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,360 Like curse words and all that. 124 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:50,340 Right. All marked, you know, police, you know, get down, you know, police, this and that. 125 00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:52,980 I said, I told you, you know. 126 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,340 So we went to jail. 127 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,200 They put us in a different cells. 128 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,980 They're interviewing us and everything. 129 00:12:57,980 --> 00:13:04,980 And, you know, anyway, that was one of the stories, you know, we had to do some time over those crimes and stuff like that. 130 00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:09,300 I had back to back, you know, burglary charges and all of that stuff. 131 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:12,660 And I so I had back to back burglary charges and all that. 132 00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:14,540 And I did some time. 133 00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:15,800 I had a lawyer. 134 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:19,220 He told me because you have a possession charge, I had a possession charge. 135 00:13:19,220 --> 00:13:20,440 Go to Salvation Army. 136 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,320 You know, you could go to Salvation Army. 137 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:22,740 And then the. 138 00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:24,300 You'll be lenient on you. 139 00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:27,540 You know, that way you won't you won't give you maximum time. 140 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:35,980 You know, I was looking for about a year and a little more than a year in jail because I had back to back crimes and stuff. 141 00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:40,600 So I went to the Salvation Army, spend a month in Salvation Army, you know, went back to court. 142 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,300 The judge said you had to surrender. 143 00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,400 So I had to do some time in the county jail. 144 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:49,440 And so that month that I spend in there was for no, no, no, no reason. 145 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,680 And that was the first time like I got introduced to like. 146 00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:53,980 Alcoholics Anonymous. 147 00:13:53,980 --> 00:13:58,600 I had some time without any drinking for like a month. 148 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,980 You know, we're going to meetings, we're going to church. 149 00:14:01,980 --> 00:14:04,040 I remember we're going to church and all that. 150 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,260 I remember working, you know, and it's like boot camp over there. 151 00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:11,040 You can't really do anything, go nowhere, you know, and you're just locked down in that 152 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,040 facility. 153 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,040 They fed us real good. 154 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,360 I remember that. 155 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,680 And so I went back. 156 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,140 They sentenced me for three months of jail. 157 00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:22,300 So I did my time and then I went back to the Salvation Army, spent six months over there. 158 00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:23,300 Court ordered. 159 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:24,300 Court ordered. 160 00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:29,340 And when I got there, over there, court ordered, I did my whole six months, you know, no drinking, 161 00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:30,340 no nothing. 162 00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:34,420 And I graduated, you know, I graduated the Salvation Army. 163 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:38,480 I remember going to meetings in Pasadena, Aura knows about that, right, Aura? 164 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:44,880 I was 20, 20, what was I, I spent my 21st birthday in county jail, you know, and I was 165 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,300 21 years old. 166 00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,900 You know, I wasn't, at the time I thought I was ready. 167 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:52,300 I thought I was going to, you know, this is it for me. 168 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:57,280 This and that, you know, and I graduated probably in August. 169 00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:04,740 In December, I went to this club called the Coconut Teaser in Hollywood. 170 00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:10,540 I met her, man, you know, I met her, you know, and she was tall, beautiful. 171 00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:15,080 And I wasn't drinking at the time, I don't remember, I don't think I was drinking, but 172 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,820 she was drinking, you know, and so she got my number and this and that, and she called 173 00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:20,820 me the next day. 174 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,300 And when she called me, we became friends. 175 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,980 We started dating and stuff like that, and she was from Atlanta. 176 00:15:24,980 --> 00:15:27,660 She came here, down here, because she was a hairdresser. 177 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:32,560 She worked in the movies and all of that stuff, and that's why she was here, you know, and 178 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:37,800 so we began dating for about a year, I think it was, you know, for about a year. 179 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,140 Then she got homesick, you know, she got homesick. 180 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:43,520 She wanted to go back, you know, and I'm like, well, you're going back, I'll follow you, 181 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,820 you know, and so I followed her. 182 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:51,280 I cleared everything up with the courts, paid all my things, got done with probation, you 183 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,280 know. 184 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,300 That was it for me, you know. 185 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:58,980 I was going to live a new life over there, free of everything, no, like a blank canvas, 186 00:15:58,980 --> 00:15:59,980 you know. 187 00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:04,120 I don't have any problems with the courts, with the judges, nothing, you know, and I 188 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,120 went to Atlanta. 189 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:11,800 Here I come, you know, and, you know, in the book it says we did a geographic, right? 190 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:16,690 I didn't know what geographic was until I came here and I read that, you know, and I 191 00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:21,910 did a geographic, and I went over there, I was really good for the first six months and 192 00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:22,910 we drank together. 193 00:16:22,910 --> 00:16:27,590 We loved to drink together, we went to restaurants together, we went to concerts together, you 194 00:16:27,590 --> 00:16:29,150 know, we grew up together, you know. 195 00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:33,310 She was young too, she was a couple of years older than me, she was probably 23, I was 196 00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:40,050 22, you know, I was 22 at the time, she was 24, you know, and we grew up together and 197 00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:41,050 drinking. 198 00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:43,390 I mean, and she was a barber, right? 199 00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:48,590 She was a barber, she worked at a real good salon, she was doing her thing and I was just, 200 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,910 you know, I didn't know what I was going to do, you know. 201 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:51,910 I didn't know. 202 00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:57,410 I started changing oil, you know, I worked doing that, then I changed brakes in Atlanta. 203 00:16:57,410 --> 00:16:59,890 I knew I wanted to get into air conditioning when I went. 204 00:16:59,890 --> 00:17:04,050 My dad was like, go and get into air conditioning, you know, it's hot over there, but my dad doesn't 205 00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,470 remember saying that, you know. 206 00:17:05,470 --> 00:17:09,050 I said, I don't know where you got that from, but I don't know, maybe God was speaking to 207 00:17:09,050 --> 00:17:10,050 you, you know what I'm saying? 208 00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:14,870 But I have no idea, you know, but I remember distinctly him telling me, go, you know, it's 209 00:17:14,870 --> 00:17:21,070 hot over there, go learn the trade, you know, and so that's what I did and Amber, the girl's 210 00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:24,670 name was Amber, that was dating. 211 00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:30,110 And Amber's family, one of her sisters worked for a heating and air company, so finally 212 00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:33,470 I got into doing heating and air over there. 213 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:40,210 I was 20, 22 years old when I started doing my heating and air over there and I started 214 00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:43,950 as a helper, you know, then I started going to school. 215 00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:48,550 She was doing her thing, she was a really good hairdresser, you know, and she was growing 216 00:17:48,550 --> 00:17:50,070 and growing and growing in her field. 217 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:56,870 And she was really popular and we started, you know, having this life together. 218 00:17:56,870 --> 00:18:01,870 We bought a house, you know, we're drinking, having parties and, you know, at our house, 219 00:18:01,870 --> 00:18:02,870 you know. 220 00:18:02,870 --> 00:18:06,750 Then we decided to get married, you know, we decided to get married. 221 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:14,890 Right before we got married, I got a DUI, you know, and that was devastating, devastating. 222 00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:20,130 Because in my career, you know, you need a driver's license to work, you know. 223 00:18:20,130 --> 00:18:22,810 To run a truck and all of that stuff. 224 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:28,370 So I was running my own truck and I got the DUI and somebody had to drive me now, which 225 00:18:28,370 --> 00:18:29,370 I hated. 226 00:18:29,370 --> 00:18:34,410 You know, I wasn't free, you know, and for years I drove like that, like somebody had 227 00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:38,190 to drive me and I was resentful of that too, you know. 228 00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:39,190 Why me? 229 00:18:39,190 --> 00:18:40,190 Why did this happen to me? 230 00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:43,270 And all of these things that, you know, goes on, you know. 231 00:18:43,270 --> 00:18:47,930 So we built this life together, we got a house and all of that, you know, we're living this 232 00:18:47,930 --> 00:18:48,930 life. 233 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:51,110 You know, and my drinking was getting worse and worse. 234 00:18:51,110 --> 00:18:57,830 You know, I was the second DUI, now I'm starting to do outside issues and stuff like that. 235 00:18:57,830 --> 00:19:00,490 And I'm hiding it from her now, you know. 236 00:19:00,490 --> 00:19:04,930 And she thinks I'm just drinking, but I'm not just drinking, I'm just getting high too. 237 00:19:04,930 --> 00:19:10,850 And for years, you know, I was hiding it, you know, and one day, because my friend, 238 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:15,170 my best friend, Chris, he told me, he's like, he's like, if you don't tell her, I'm going 239 00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:16,170 to tell her. 240 00:19:16,170 --> 00:19:18,170 You're not going to tell her, I'm going to tell her, you know, you're not going to. 241 00:19:18,170 --> 00:19:24,110 And so when I told her about my outside issues, you know, she was angry, we're trying to have 242 00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:28,630 a baby and all of that stuff, and the stuff, the substance I was doing was hindering that 243 00:19:28,630 --> 00:19:29,630 situation. 244 00:19:29,630 --> 00:19:36,490 And she threw me out, you know, when she threw me out, my best friend in Atlanta, he took 245 00:19:36,490 --> 00:19:41,470 me into his house, you know, he took me and put me in his room and in his house. 246 00:19:41,470 --> 00:19:44,850 And this is the thing with me, you know, I, you know, like the book talks about, you know, 247 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,350 I built this life, right? 248 00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:47,350 I built, you know. 249 00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:52,810 I get this house, get the car, get this and that, you know, and I tear it all down in 250 00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:57,490 one night, you know, and I've been to jail, you know, I've been to, you know, county, 251 00:19:57,490 --> 00:20:00,810 you know, all of these things, you know, those things don't scare me, you know, just doesn't 252 00:20:00,810 --> 00:20:05,150 scare me, you know, the things that happened with the wife, you know, I thought she was 253 00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:06,150 never going to leave. 254 00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:12,070 That's one thing that I knew 100%, she was never going to leave, you know, and that happened. 255 00:20:12,070 --> 00:20:17,150 When that happened, it was like, I met, you know, I met my match, you know? 256 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:23,650 It was like, I knew, you know, I had to do something, you know, and the way I was feeling, 257 00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:29,290 the way this stuff, the substance was making me feel as far as, you know, I was doing everything 258 00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:34,890 around the clock with this substance and I was never like that, you know, it was never 259 00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:39,470 like that for me, you know, even working out, like I love working out and I was doing this 260 00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:42,150 stuff and I'm working out and I'm like, what are you doing? 261 00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:43,150 You're crazy, you know? 262 00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:45,150 And so when she kicked me out, my friend took me in. 263 00:20:45,150 --> 00:20:46,150 Yeah. 264 00:20:46,150 --> 00:20:51,030 Then he took me to a meeting the next day, you know, he took me to Alcoholics Anonymous 265 00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:58,770 meeting, took me to a meeting and sat, kind of identified with the speaker a little bit. 266 00:20:58,770 --> 00:21:03,230 But after the meeting, these guys approached me, right, and they gave me their phone number 267 00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:09,650 and all of that stuff and I started bawling, crying, you know, and, you know, and that 268 00:21:09,650 --> 00:21:14,650 experience, that love that, you know, keep coming back, keep coming back and I went back 269 00:21:14,650 --> 00:21:15,650 to that meeting. 270 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:19,110 And I started to sit down and listen, don't, don't sleep, David. 271 00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:24,070 I started to listen and they told me to get a sponsor, I got a sponsor, you know, he started 272 00:21:24,070 --> 00:21:29,930 to read the book with me in the car, you know, and three months later, you know, things didn't 273 00:21:29,930 --> 00:21:33,170 work out over there in Atlanta and I had to come back. 274 00:21:33,170 --> 00:21:41,410 So I came back to Los Angeles, back to Glendale, started living with my pops at the time and 275 00:21:41,410 --> 00:21:44,650 I started going to the Windsor Club over there in Glendale. 276 00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:45,650 Yeah. 277 00:21:45,650 --> 00:21:50,670 I started going to the Windsor Club, found a sponsor at the Windsor Club and started working 278 00:21:50,670 --> 00:21:56,030 the steps with my sponsor and I remember my sponsor telling me, you know, are you sure 279 00:21:56,030 --> 00:21:57,030 you're an alcoholic? 280 00:21:57,030 --> 00:21:58,030 I said, yeah, I'm an alcoholic. 281 00:21:58,030 --> 00:22:00,450 He was like, don't waste my time. 282 00:22:00,450 --> 00:22:01,450 You know what I'm saying? 283 00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:02,450 Don't waste my time. 284 00:22:02,450 --> 00:22:06,330 He spent like three months on the first step, you know, making, making sure that I wasn't 285 00:22:06,330 --> 00:22:10,810 messing around with him, you know, and that was a profound experience, you know, with 286 00:22:10,810 --> 00:22:13,650 the doctor's opinion, the obsession of the vine and the allergy of the body. 287 00:22:13,650 --> 00:22:14,650 Yeah. 288 00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:21,290 What they talk about, I understood what they were talking about, you know, I understood, 289 00:22:21,290 --> 00:22:22,290 you know what I'm saying? 290 00:22:22,290 --> 00:22:24,730 Once I take one, I'm off. 291 00:22:24,730 --> 00:22:30,350 I got that, you know, and I could look at my, my life, you know, and, uh, every time 292 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:37,090 alcohol was involved, if I was enjoying it, I wasn't having fun, you know? 293 00:22:37,090 --> 00:22:42,650 So and, uh, he started to go through the steps, you know, the second step, third step, you 294 00:22:42,650 --> 00:22:43,650 know? 295 00:22:43,650 --> 00:22:44,650 He was like, I'm just gonna do whatever it takes, you know? 296 00:22:44,650 --> 00:22:45,650 I'm just gonna do whatever it takes. 297 00:22:45,650 --> 00:22:46,650 I'm just gonna make sure that God doesn't say, you know, you go through all that shit 298 00:22:46,650 --> 00:22:47,650 and go through all that shit, you know? 299 00:22:47,650 --> 00:22:48,650 You just don't think about anything. 300 00:22:48,650 --> 00:22:49,650 You just don't think about anything. 301 00:22:49,650 --> 00:22:50,650 That's what God is. 302 00:22:50,650 --> 00:22:51,650 That's what he said to me. 303 00:22:51,650 --> 00:22:52,650 He said, you know, you just, you know, you know, you can't do anything. 304 00:22:52,650 --> 00:22:53,650 You know what I'm saying? 305 00:22:53,650 --> 00:22:54,650 Yeah. 306 00:22:54,650 --> 00:22:55,650 Well, that's good. 307 00:22:55,650 --> 00:22:56,650 That's it. 308 00:22:56,650 --> 00:22:57,650 No, that's good. 309 00:22:57,650 --> 00:22:58,650 I like that. 310 00:22:58,650 --> 00:22:59,650 Yeah. 311 00:22:59,650 --> 00:23:00,650 Thank you. 312 00:23:00,650 --> 00:23:25,090 I know what my God wants for me. I'm no longer thinking He's out to get me. I used to think He was out to get me all the time. Why me? Why does this thing happen to me? Why does this happen to me? God was picking on me. I was just doing dumb stuff. I started with the inventory process and found out a lot about myself that I didn't know. Like a resentment was. What was a resentment? 313 00:23:25,090 --> 00:23:41,130 You know, the hurt, anger felt over and over again. I get that. You know, I get that. I remember thinking about these people that I wanted to kill. You know what I'm saying? And then I drink and I drink and I drink and I hope they would die. You know, and that's the way it was, you know. 314 00:23:41,130 --> 00:23:54,170 And then as far as that, you know, with my character defects, you know, I pray God, God, please, you know, help me with these character defects. I still got most of them. You know what I'm saying? But I try to do better today, you know. 315 00:23:54,170 --> 00:24:11,230 And with the amends process, I made a list of all the people and stuff like that that I hurt. And I had to go back and make them right, you know. And I went back to Atlanta with my wife and ex-wife and all of that stuff and her mom. And, you know, I went back and made those amends, you know, with them. 316 00:24:11,230 --> 00:24:23,370 And I remember, you know, making amends to my mother-in-law. And she's like, what about that time when you threw a fork across the room at dinner, you know. And I had forgotten all about that, you know. 317 00:24:23,370 --> 00:24:37,510 And I was drinking one day and her husband was making like schlappy noises, you know, while he was eating. Schlapp, schlapp, schlapp, you know. And I threw the damn fork. I was, you know, like mad. And I threw the fork, you know, across the room. And she was like, what about that time, you know. 318 00:24:37,510 --> 00:24:53,230 And I don't get fired about that, you know. Those are the things I did, man. I was, you know, restless, irritable and discontent, you know. And I love my life today, man. And today, you know, I go to a lot of meetings, you know. I do the same thing I was doing. 319 00:24:53,370 --> 00:25:10,730 And my first year of sobriety, you know. Nothing has changed, you know. More, there's more responsibility now, you know, with having time. I, you know, I want to be more involved in this program. It's given me a lot, so I want to give back more, you know what I'm saying. It's saved my life, you know. 320 00:25:11,290 --> 00:25:20,910 I got mentors right here, you know, that's walked this path with me. I love dearly, you know. And I think my time is almost up here, you know. 321 00:25:21,910 --> 00:25:23,350 I just want to say, you know. 322 00:25:23,370 --> 00:25:51,890 If it wasn't for Alcoholics Anonymous, I don't know where I'd be, you know. To tell you the truth, you know, I'd probably be in prison, you know, the way my life was going. But today, I get to have a good life. I get to enjoy life. I get to give back what was freely given to me. I pray to my higher power all the time. And this power helps me and guides me daily, you know. And I'm truly grateful to be here. Thanks for letting me share.