1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,500 My name's Marty, I'm an alcoholic. 2 00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:02,500 I'm Marty, I'm an idiot. 3 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,600 All right, play along with me here. 4 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,700 Knock, knock, wardrobe, wardrobe by Bruce. 5 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:11,000 I'm wearing his coat, his tie, that's it. 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,200 But it fits so good, I'm thinking if I get the pants, 7 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,730 I might have a new suit tonight. 8 00:00:15,730 --> 00:00:19,730 My sobriety date's November 10th of 1977. 9 00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,130 For that, I'm grateful. 10 00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:24,360 I've been doing this thing for a while. 11 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,760 I've had fun tonight with Bruce, he's a quality guy. 12 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,660 We went out to dinner beforehand, 13 00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:33,860 and we were talking about old timers, old AA, 14 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:35,760 and I like conversations like that. 15 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,160 I have a lot of history here in Alcoholics Anonymous 16 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,860 with a lot of people. 17 00:00:39,860 --> 00:00:42,560 I was born and raised in Riverside, San Bernardino area. 18 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:43,860 I'm the youngest of three. 19 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:46,660 My mom's Eskimo, my dad's German, 20 00:00:46,660 --> 00:00:48,860 and I don't look anything like my dad. 21 00:00:48,860 --> 00:00:50,760 That's who I thought I was gonna grow up and look like. 22 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,160 I didn't know my mom. 23 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,260 She left when I was 11 months old. 24 00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:56,160 Like I said, I'm the youngest of three. 25 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,560 So that makes my sister about two, my brother about three. 26 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,660 Maybe four years old. 27 00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,960 And I just learned more about my mom. 28 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,860 I met her at my high school graduation. 29 00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:06,560 It's the first time I physically met my mom. 30 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,260 I mean, surely I met her between birth and 11 months old, 31 00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:10,260 but I don't remember that. 32 00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:12,660 But two years ago, she passed away. 33 00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:13,760 86 years old. 34 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,150 She died of sepsis. 35 00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:19,050 She died of sepsis because of the needles she was using 36 00:01:19,050 --> 00:01:23,050 to shoot up fentanyl at the age of 86. 37 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,850 That's what you call hang in there, man. 38 00:01:24,850 --> 00:01:28,550 She had to hang in, down pat. 39 00:01:28,550 --> 00:01:29,650 She lost custody of a woman. 40 00:01:29,650 --> 00:01:32,650 She lost custody of us three kids in the early 60s 41 00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:34,150 because she was a bad alcoholic. 42 00:01:34,150 --> 00:01:37,450 She had a problem with alcohol and drugs literally her whole life. 43 00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:41,350 But what I found out just before my mom passed away 44 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:45,950 that I get to add to my story is that when she lost custody of us kids, 45 00:01:45,950 --> 00:01:49,150 she kidnapped all three of us and took us back to Alaska. 46 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,150 I didn't know that. 47 00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:53,150 So now I get to say I've been kidnapped. 48 00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:56,650 That's my new part of my new story now. 49 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,750 And my dad's always struggled. 50 00:01:58,750 --> 00:02:00,350 First thing, my dad passed away a year ago. 51 00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:03,350 And when he passed away, he died with 50 years of sobriety. 52 00:02:03,350 --> 00:02:07,550 Next month, he would have celebrated 52 years of sobriety. 53 00:02:07,550 --> 00:02:12,450 And when he passed away, the lady he was married to had 49 years of sobriety. 54 00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:16,550 So this is part of the time of the year for the last 20 some odd years 55 00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:22,850 that he was married to Rita where me, my sister, Rita, then my dad all went in order. 56 00:02:22,850 --> 00:02:25,650 So when he passed away, he had 50 years of sobriety. 57 00:02:25,650 --> 00:02:27,150 Rita had 49. 58 00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:28,350 My sister had 48. 59 00:02:28,350 --> 00:02:31,780 And I had 47, you know, this. 60 00:02:31,780 --> 00:02:35,380 So this disease of alcohol might be a family thing. 61 00:02:35,380 --> 00:02:35,880 We don't know. 62 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,480 But we know that recovery can be a family thing too. 63 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:43,480 But I learned a lot about my mom and dad on their passings, you know, 64 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:49,080 and clearly my dad did the best he could the whole time he had us kids, 65 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:50,780 you know, because in the 60s, 66 00:02:50,780 --> 00:02:55,780 it was not common that the women would lose custody of the children. 67 00:02:55,780 --> 00:02:56,980 And so here he was. 68 00:02:56,980 --> 00:02:58,180 He's a, 69 00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:02,180 a young man because I'm the last of three and he had me when he was 24. 70 00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:06,080 So he's only 21 years older than my brother, 71 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,980 but he was relatively young raising three kids on his own. 72 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,680 And he was busy drinking the whole time. 73 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,180 He had to work. 74 00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:15,980 He had to raise three kids and he had to build his own story. 75 00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:21,240 I mean, the guy was busy and my dad never laid a hand on us. 76 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:26,140 And I found out why I didn't know these things about my parents until they passed away. 77 00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:28,240 Evident. My dad's the only child. 78 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,740 So I have no uncles and aunts. 79 00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,540 I have no cousins. 80 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:37,240 But my dad was the only child and he saw his biological dad who passed away 81 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,540 when my dad was 10 years old. 82 00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:42,140 He saw his biological father beat very severely. 83 00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:44,340 Our grandmother, his biological mom. 84 00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:46,140 And that's why he never laid a hand on us. 85 00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:49,240 He swore he would never do that to his kids. 86 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,440 And I know for me personally, 87 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:58,430 he literally spanked me once and he was drunk when he did it because he don't even, 88 00:03:58,430 --> 00:04:00,030 even remember spanking me. 89 00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:01,630 And he said, had I known I was doing that, 90 00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:03,230 I wouldn't have done it. 91 00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:04,730 Why? Because that's what he saw. 92 00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:05,430 And I don't know why, 93 00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:06,930 but for the last few days, 94 00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:13,530 a lot of behavioral issues and ideas and solutions have come to my mind, 95 00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:19,030 you know, because I think we do a lot of what our parents did or we do none of it. 96 00:04:19,030 --> 00:04:22,130 And I'm out here to take care of my sister. 97 00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,830 I'm from Buckeye, Arizona. 98 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:27,430 I got good old Susan here from Tuckson, Arizona. 99 00:04:27,430 --> 00:04:28,330 Arizona's invasive. 100 00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:31,430 And but I came out here to take care of my sister. 101 00:04:31,430 --> 00:04:34,130 You know, she has been literally, 102 00:04:34,130 --> 00:04:36,630 I've had plenty sponsors and I've had great sponsors. 103 00:04:36,630 --> 00:04:37,330 Don't get me wrong, 104 00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:39,030 but my sister has been there the whole time. 105 00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:42,630 She got eight months more sobriety to the date more than I do. 106 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:45,230 And she will tell everybody because for eight months of the year, 107 00:04:45,230 --> 00:04:47,930 she gets to say that she has a whole year more than me. 108 00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:52,890 And she always says it shows too. 109 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:56,290 That's some of the old AA humor Bruce and I were talking about at dinner. 110 00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:57,790 Love that old AA humor. 111 00:04:57,790 --> 00:05:01,090 Everything's got to be politically correct. 112 00:05:01,090 --> 00:05:01,690 Right now. 113 00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:04,890 We can't hurt each other's feelings back in the day. 114 00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:06,920 We did not care. 115 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,920 No, I bet you talked to your sponsor had a bad day. 116 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,320 Got fired came home found out that I had to return the car. 117 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,120 Just bought to the dealership because they can't find me. 118 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,020 What did the sponsor say back in the day? 119 00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:19,420 They used to go that sucks. 120 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,520 That's it. 121 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,820 You know, there's no discussion about what it meant. 122 00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:26,520 And you know, is this a pattern from your childhood? 123 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,020 No. 124 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:32,520 Anyways, so I learned a lot about my mom and dad over the last couple years. 125 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:36,020 It might be provoking another round of the steps for me. 126 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:40,620 I don't talk anything about I don't talk about anything specific in my talk, 127 00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:42,420 but I will tell you I've done the steps. 128 00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:44,520 I've done the steps multiple times. 129 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:45,520 I've read the book. 130 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,520 I've read it multiple times. 131 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,720 I pray and meditate. 132 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,720 I still pray and meditate. 133 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,320 I've been introduced to God here. 134 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,120 So all that stuff has happened. 135 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,820 I may not touch on it during my talk. 136 00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:58,520 Nancy, my greeter. 137 00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:58,920 Let me know. 138 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,520 I can speak into 925. 139 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,320 So that's cool. 140 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,920 I appreciate her. 141 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:12,170 But anyway, I was introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous and I was the last one in the family. 142 00:06:12,170 --> 00:06:15,870 I already told you my whole family has more time than I do, but I have an older brother. 143 00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:20,270 Like I said earlier that I'm the youngest of three, but even my older brother at one time had more time than I, 144 00:06:20,270 --> 00:06:21,970 but then he started slipping. 145 00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:26,470 He went down the medical field because he's going to try to become a medical doctor. 146 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:27,070 Unfortunately, 147 00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:43,170 what that introduced him to was the whole pharmacy and he was on his last exam to become a medical doctor and he caught got caught stealing from his own pharmacy and the medical field told him you will never be in this field again because it wasn't just a few pills. 148 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:46,370 It was shelves that he was stocking at home. 149 00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:47,870 He had a lot of stuff. 150 00:06:47,870 --> 00:06:51,670 So I was introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous by my family. 151 00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:53,570 I got sober out in Simi Valley. 152 00:06:53,570 --> 00:06:55,870 Not too many people have heard of that city. 153 00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:56,770 Yeah, exactly. 154 00:06:57,070 --> 00:06:58,870 Simi Valley. 155 00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:02,070 I got sober out in Simi Valley at the ripe young age of 15. 156 00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:04,870 I've stayed here ever since then. 157 00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:16,470 I went to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous because there used to be this thing called the meeting after the meeting and the meeting after the meeting and Simi Valley seemed to be at our house because at this time when I was getting sober, 158 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,070 we already had three people sober in our household, 159 00:07:19,070 --> 00:07:19,570 my brother, 160 00:07:19,570 --> 00:07:20,070 my sister, 161 00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:21,770 my dad and my whole family, 162 00:07:21,770 --> 00:07:24,170 my whole life has been really social. 163 00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:26,870 So the meeting after the meeting seemed to be at our house. 164 00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:30,670 And they would all bring home like two or three friends each. 165 00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:35,870 So there could be upwards to 12 people in our living room and our living room was like this not with the chairs here, 166 00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:40,070 but my dad lying down all of our walls and our living room with the couches. 167 00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:40,470 I don't know. 168 00:07:40,470 --> 00:07:42,370 He must have had some kind of deal on couches. 169 00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:42,870 I don't know, 170 00:07:42,870 --> 00:07:44,670 but we had couches galore, 171 00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:47,270 but the meeting at the meeting and you guys would sit there. 172 00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:47,470 Now, 173 00:07:47,470 --> 00:07:49,870 I'm still trying to get my groove on in my bedroom. 174 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:50,270 You know, 175 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,270 I'm smoking whatever I got left. 176 00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:54,170 I'm drinking whatever I can find. 177 00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:56,670 I'm doing a lot to try to get a buzz. 178 00:07:56,670 --> 00:08:02,270 Why you guys are sitting in our living room shucking and jiving about the meeting. 179 00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:07,470 You just went to and when you're trying to get drunk and you all are chipping your teeth about this meeting, 180 00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:11,870 you went to and see me Valley or Thousand Oaks of the San Fernando Valley. 181 00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:12,670 It's sickening, 182 00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:13,370 you know, 183 00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:14,470 and you know, 184 00:08:14,470 --> 00:08:14,670 oh, 185 00:08:14,670 --> 00:08:18,470 I loved it when he said this or she said that or my God, 186 00:08:18,470 --> 00:08:26,470 she knew the big book or he really knew the steps and I'm in my bedroom trying to get high and I'm like on these guys are taking lameness to 187 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:27,670 a whole nother level, 188 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:28,170 you know, 189 00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:31,870 and the only reason I went to a meeting is it seemed like my family. 190 00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:35,870 This is 1970s folks disco was in and polyester was happening. 191 00:08:35,870 --> 00:08:41,070 My family seemed to put on their best John Travolta starter kit on Friday nights. 192 00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:45,770 They wear wear the polyester shirts where the lapels are way down here. 193 00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:46,170 You know, 194 00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:50,170 they wore those platform platform shoes and shit. 195 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:52,870 That was just the front of the shoot bag of shoes that big, 196 00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:53,370 you know, 197 00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:56,370 and but they seem to dress up on Friday nights and go. 198 00:08:56,470 --> 00:08:59,970 To a speaker meeting out in the San Fernando Valley back then. 199 00:08:59,970 --> 00:09:03,170 It was called the Topanga speaker meeting on Topanga. 200 00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:05,770 Not a lot of creativity there, 201 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,470 but the Topanga speaker meeting. 202 00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:07,770 I said, 203 00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:09,070 you got to go to my party. 204 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,470 You need to go to meetings because I didn't think I had a story. 205 00:09:11,470 --> 00:09:11,970 You know, 206 00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:13,370 I looked at my family's drinking. 207 00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:14,870 They're really bad drunks. 208 00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:15,170 You know, 209 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:16,670 my sister's like, 210 00:09:16,670 --> 00:09:17,270 what do you think? 211 00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:17,970 You don't what do you mean? 212 00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:19,570 You don't think you had a story. 213 00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:23,070 She says you don't even have a driver's license and you got two DUIs, 214 00:09:23,070 --> 00:09:23,670 you know, 215 00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:26,370 I had three break-ins. 216 00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:27,170 And enterings. 217 00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:28,970 The last one was a felony offense. 218 00:09:28,970 --> 00:09:29,770 She says Marty, 219 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,470 some people don't even have one break-in. 220 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:34,070 And she's trying to tell me that I had a problem with alcohol. 221 00:09:34,070 --> 00:09:36,070 Now that I moved us to Arizona. 222 00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:40,370 I listen to country music and there's some great lines and country music. 223 00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:41,370 My God, 224 00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:43,870 I'm driving down the road two or three days ago. 225 00:09:43,870 --> 00:09:48,770 And this country song had a line and it says everybody tells me I have a drinking problem. 226 00:09:48,770 --> 00:09:52,370 And I think it's not bad enough to do anything. 227 00:09:52,370 --> 00:09:53,770 The country song was like, 228 00:09:53,770 --> 00:09:56,170 I may not get sleep tonight because I ran out of pills. 229 00:09:56,170 --> 00:09:58,770 I can actually identify with that stuff, 230 00:09:58,770 --> 00:09:59,270 you know, 231 00:09:59,270 --> 00:10:05,870 Tony who my family would dress up on Friday nights and come to the speaker me and they used to have me so much about going to a meeting with them. 232 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:06,270 And I says, 233 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:06,570 okay, 234 00:10:06,570 --> 00:10:08,170 I will go to a meeting with you guys. 235 00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:10,070 I'm making this short story really short. 236 00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:10,570 By the way, 237 00:10:10,570 --> 00:10:11,370 I'll go to meeting with you. 238 00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:16,070 I'm going to go that front on a Friday night because you all seem to dress up on Friday night and go to this meeting. 239 00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:16,270 Now, 240 00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:21,270 they all have been going to this meeting for a good six months by the time I chose to go to this meeting. 241 00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:25,970 And so I went to this meeting and on the drive out from Simi Valley to Topanga, 242 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:26,770 Boulevard, 243 00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:30,770 is that what it's called to make a thing and Avenue Boulevard Canyon Canyon Boulevard. 244 00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:32,570 So on the way out to this meeting, 245 00:10:32,570 --> 00:10:33,170 they kept saying, 246 00:10:33,170 --> 00:10:33,270 oh, 247 00:10:33,270 --> 00:10:34,270 you're going to like this speak. 248 00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:34,470 Oh, 249 00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:35,570 you're going to like this speaker. 250 00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:35,770 Oh, 251 00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:36,970 this speaker is great. 252 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:37,170 Oh, 253 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,170 it's pretty great speaker. 254 00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:41,070 I'm thinking in my head didn't verbalize at once. 255 00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:41,570 It's like, 256 00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:41,770 no, 257 00:10:41,770 --> 00:10:42,270 I'm not. 258 00:10:42,270 --> 00:10:44,370 I'm not going to enjoy it. 259 00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:46,470 Probably not going to be funny all this stuff. 260 00:10:46,470 --> 00:10:47,370 And here's my blessing. 261 00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:50,270 My blessing was I got to hear this guy named normality speak. 262 00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:51,970 That was the very first speeding meeting. 263 00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:52,970 I ever went to me. 264 00:10:52,970 --> 00:10:55,170 That's a hell of an introduction to AA. 265 00:10:55,170 --> 00:11:01,070 And what was what was impressive about this Topanga speaker meeting is that there was a TV star there. 266 00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:05,770 There is a guy there that I've been watching on TV my whole childhood life, 267 00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:07,370 which was well over 15 years, 268 00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:12,370 but I saw him on TV every night and my family had already been going to this meeting for like six months. 269 00:11:12,370 --> 00:11:16,870 They never once alluded to this the fact that this man goes to this meeting 270 00:11:16,870 --> 00:11:19,370 because my sister been going to this meeting for six months. 271 00:11:19,370 --> 00:11:22,770 She knew who he was and I'm not. 272 00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:25,070 Nudging up next to my sister and I said, 273 00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:25,670 oh my God, 274 00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,070 that's so-and-so and she says, 275 00:11:27,070 --> 00:11:27,470 yeah, 276 00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:32,070 and she walked right up to him and said hi and used his real name and gave him a hug. 277 00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:32,970 And I'm sitting there going. 278 00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:33,670 Wow. 279 00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:35,470 My sister knows a TV star. 280 00:11:35,470 --> 00:11:36,170 More importantly, 281 00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:38,170 this TV star knows my sister. 282 00:11:38,170 --> 00:11:39,370 This is amazing. 283 00:11:39,370 --> 00:11:41,370 So there is a double attraction on it. 284 00:11:41,370 --> 00:11:43,270 Although it be really really shallow. 285 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,670 There is a double attraction to my very first meeting. 286 00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:47,970 I got to hear this dude normality speak. 287 00:11:47,970 --> 00:11:49,270 He spoke a mile a minute. 288 00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:51,070 If you laughed at anything, 289 00:11:51,070 --> 00:11:52,670 he said you're going to miss the force. 290 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,470 Next four sentences because that's how fast he talked. 291 00:11:55,470 --> 00:11:57,270 So you couldn't really laugh while he's talking. 292 00:11:57,270 --> 00:11:59,770 You're just like gotta listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, 293 00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:00,470 you know, you know, 294 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:04,570 he's talking about talk a million spending thousands never had a doll in my part. 295 00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:09,470 I drove them Cadillacs up and down the night bar up and down the bar every night. 296 00:12:09,470 --> 00:12:13,770 He says I used to roll my windows up in the San Fernando Valley in September. 297 00:12:13,770 --> 00:12:15,770 Make people think that I had an air conditioner, 298 00:12:15,770 --> 00:12:17,870 you know, he had all these funny lines, 299 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:22,170 you know, and you're just like wow and a lot of us can relate to stuff like that, 300 00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:22,570 you know, 301 00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:25,770 so here's what I thought was a conspiracy. 302 00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:29,170 I did not raise my hand as an alcoholic when I heard Norm speak. 303 00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:30,970 I thought this was the conspiracy. 304 00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:32,470 I told my family. 305 00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:36,670 I'm going to come back next Friday with you guys because I want to hear Norm speak again 306 00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:43,370 because the way that you guys talked about the speakers you heard in our household during the meeting after the meeting. 307 00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:46,370 It sounded like the same speaker spoke all the time. 308 00:12:46,370 --> 00:12:47,970 So I had in my mind. 309 00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:51,970 I'm going to go back with you guys next Friday to hear Norm again Norm speak again, 310 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,070 and not once in that whole week. 311 00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:57,570 Did my family let me know that there was going to be a different speaker. 312 00:12:57,570 --> 00:12:59,070 That was the conspiracy. 313 00:12:59,070 --> 00:12:59,870 Oh my God. 314 00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:04,070 They got me to that second meeting because sometimes your second meetings the hardest one to get to 315 00:13:04,070 --> 00:13:06,070 and I'm going to go here Norm again. 316 00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:07,270 I'm going to hear Norm again. 317 00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:10,870 And we were driving out there and this time when we're driving out from Simi Valley, 318 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:13,170 they weren't saying oh you're going to like this speaker. 319 00:13:13,170 --> 00:13:14,270 Oh, you're going to like this speaker. 320 00:13:14,270 --> 00:13:15,270 They were quiet. 321 00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:18,070 That should have been my red flag because we had a different speaker. 322 00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:19,070 Now, here's my blessing. 323 00:13:19,070 --> 00:13:21,370 That's a hell of an introduction to hear Norm on your first night, 324 00:13:21,370 --> 00:13:24,670 but my second night I got to hear Chuck Chamberlain speak 325 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:29,570 and there's not a better one-two punch than hearing Norm speak one night and Chuck the next. 326 00:13:29,570 --> 00:13:31,670 I was hooked on Alcoholics Anonymous. 327 00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:34,470 I came in like I said at 15 years old. 328 00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:40,970 Actually, I came in at 14 and my sister who's a little rough around the edges. 329 00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:43,470 She's got a strong personality. 330 00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:44,170 She's not there. 331 00:13:44,170 --> 00:13:46,970 She's a bitch. 332 00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:48,270 But I remember going. 333 00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:48,970 Oh my God. 334 00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:50,270 I got to try this stuff. 335 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:51,170 And I didn't see. 336 00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:52,370 These slogans one, 337 00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:52,770 you know, 338 00:13:52,770 --> 00:13:54,170 one day at a time first things first. 339 00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:59,070 I didn't see those and somebody stood up at the end of that meeting of that meeting. 340 00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:02,470 I finally raised my hand as an alcoholic with somebody. 341 00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:07,270 It was a GSR group service representative and this is 1977 folks. 342 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:13,370 This is November 77 and this GSR stood up and gave a report and he said or she said, 343 00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:14,270 I don't know what it was. 344 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:20,970 They said that there seems to be a lot of young people coming into Alcoholics Anonymous at this meeting in the front row was my dad, 345 00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:22,970 potential mom number three. 346 00:14:22,970 --> 00:14:30,270 He's had six of them and then my brother and then my sister and myself and when he said there seems to be a lot of young people coming to Alcoholics Anonymous. 347 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:44,470 He seemed to be looking down at us three teenagers and they came up with best that the general service office in New York and come up with a 1977 was the average young person coming in Alcoholics Anonymous was 32 and I'm sitting there thinking I've been through math. 348 00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:45,770 I know a little bit about math. 349 00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:46,570 I'm 15. 350 00:14:46,570 --> 00:14:50,070 That means I can try what you guys have to offer for 10 years. 351 00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:52,770 And if I don't like what you guys have to offer after 10 years, 352 00:14:52,770 --> 00:14:58,470 I can still go drink for another five years and come back in under the average young age. 353 00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:00,970 That's how I came into Alcoholics Anonymous conspiracy. 354 00:15:00,970 --> 00:15:07,470 They didn't let me know I'm not speaking and I didn't see that one day at a time thing and I committed myself to 10 years in Alcoholics Anonymous. 355 00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:09,670 I was scared as a little kid. 356 00:15:09,670 --> 00:15:11,070 You couldn't have told me when I was 15. 357 00:15:11,070 --> 00:15:15,170 It looks like everybody in here has been 15 when you're 15 16 years old. 358 00:15:15,170 --> 00:15:16,670 And if you got a kid that age, 359 00:15:16,670 --> 00:15:18,970 you know what I'm talking about to they know everything. 360 00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:20,070 And guess what folks? 361 00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:23,470 I was 15 years old and I knew everything. 362 00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:26,670 And you guys would come up to me with suggestions and go. 363 00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:27,570 Well, I learned this. 364 00:15:27,570 --> 00:15:33,670 I ended up being a therapist and I did a lot of group therapy and about a decade ago. 365 00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:38,370 I'm doing an anger management class for the courts for teenagers. 366 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:43,870 And I've been doing this for decades and I'm just conducting this anger management class 367 00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:48,570 and they're all under 18 years old and 15 kids all court ordered for anger management. 368 00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:49,970 That means these 15. 369 00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:53,370 People had to done something because the courts not going to refer you to someplace. 370 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:56,370 If you didn't go to rehab because you're goody tissues, 371 00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:57,470 you did something. 372 00:15:57,470 --> 00:16:01,470 So here's this whole group and this girl I was saying something and she interrupted me 373 00:16:01,470 --> 00:16:03,070 and that's one of my pet peeves in life. 374 00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:04,370 I don't like being interrupted. 375 00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:06,970 She interrupted me and I don't forgot what her name is. 376 00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:09,770 Let's call her Susie for lack of better words. 377 00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:12,270 Sorry Susan, but we'll call her Susie. 378 00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:13,370 I said, excuse me Susie. 379 00:16:13,370 --> 00:16:16,370 I was talking and I was the best polite way. 380 00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:19,370 I know how to say you interrupted me and she looked at me. 381 00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:20,070 She kept talking. 382 00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:21,270 I said, excuse me, Susie. 383 00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:21,770 She went. 384 00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:24,570 Oh talk to the hand and then I started talking. 385 00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:26,970 She went and the way she did it when she moved her head, 386 00:16:26,970 --> 00:16:29,870 look down everything just talk to the hand when I start talking. 387 00:16:29,870 --> 00:16:31,070 She went you're on hold. 388 00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:33,970 I about jumped out of my skin and strangled this young woman, 389 00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:35,370 you know, never heard that one. 390 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:37,370 I've heard talk to the hand attention. 391 00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:39,670 You're on hold called a break immediately. 392 00:16:39,670 --> 00:16:43,170 I had to go into my dad's office who is a truly a psychologist 393 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:47,370 and my mentor and everything and I says Pappy got to tell you he raised me here. 394 00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:48,070 He's my sister. 395 00:16:48,070 --> 00:16:48,970 He raised my brother. 396 00:16:48,970 --> 00:16:51,770 He knows what it's like to raise three teenage kids 397 00:16:51,770 --> 00:16:53,970 and we're all drinking and using when we're 50. 398 00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:56,870 So my dad knows the ropes and he's a psychologist 399 00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:58,970 and he's a marriage family child counseling. 400 00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,270 He's all I says Pappy. 401 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,270 I said you can't believe it. 402 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:06,870 This chick look at me said talk to the hand and then she went and I told I blew it up a little bit 403 00:17:06,870 --> 00:17:10,770 because I wanted to let my dad know how mad I was running an anger management group. 404 00:17:10,770 --> 00:17:14,470 I said Pappy and she turned her head and cocked it a little bit when you're on hold 405 00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:18,070 and because my dad raised me and he had that old AA humor. 406 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:19,370 He just started laughing. 407 00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:20,870 I was in there for counsel. 408 00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:24,370 I was in there to hear my dad lay some kind of pearls of wisdom on me. 409 00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:26,470 Like you got to go into acceptance. 410 00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:28,870 You got to read the acceptance page. 411 00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:31,770 I was waiting for one of those things and all he did was laugh. 412 00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:32,770 I went wow. 413 00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:34,370 That's pretty rude Pappy. 414 00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:35,570 He says I raised you. 415 00:17:35,570 --> 00:17:39,170 I know what that's like and it could be really anyways. 416 00:17:39,170 --> 00:17:41,570 So I started going these meetings with my family 417 00:17:41,570 --> 00:17:46,870 and because I was scared and I was young but yet I felt like I knew everything I didn't get a sponsor right away 418 00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:47,870 because it sounded like you. 419 00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:50,070 You guys were having rough times with sponsors 420 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,570 like they were telling you what to do 421 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,170 and they were making you do stuff homies not into that, 422 00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:54,570 right? 423 00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:55,870 So I'm not getting a sponsor, 424 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:56,970 but I started doing everything else. 425 00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:58,270 You guys talked about from the podium. 426 00:17:58,270 --> 00:17:59,370 You said you got a big book. 427 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,470 I went and got a big book. 428 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:04,570 Some of you said you had a 12 on 12 and you're reading that started doing that got commandments. 429 00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:06,170 I started folding chairs. 430 00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:06,970 I started doing a lot of thing, 431 00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:10,070 but I was hanging on to this no sponsor thing and at 30 days sober. 432 00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:11,970 My sister talked me into getting a sponsor. 433 00:18:11,970 --> 00:18:13,470 She says you need a sponsor. 434 00:18:13,470 --> 00:18:14,570 You can't do this alone. 435 00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:15,770 And I mean, 436 00:18:15,770 --> 00:18:17,670 okay, how do you pick a sponsor? 437 00:18:17,670 --> 00:18:22,170 He says find somebody in the Simi Valley a hall that you like 438 00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:23,970 and you like what's going on in his life. 439 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:27,970 There's that theory or go ask the guy you absolutely hate 440 00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:30,370 because he's going to probably more like you than anybody else 441 00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:31,670 and he can help you the most. 442 00:18:31,670 --> 00:18:33,970 I'm weighing that out and I want I'm not going to ask the dude. 443 00:18:33,970 --> 00:18:36,770 I don't like screw that because I don't like him. 444 00:18:36,770 --> 00:18:42,770 So I went up to this guy and this is how shallow I was 15 years old with 30 days of sobriety. 445 00:18:42,770 --> 00:18:46,270 I asked this guy in the Simi Valley a hall who had a cool name. 446 00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:47,370 That was the only reason. 447 00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,570 I asked him I didn't know how long he was sober, 448 00:18:49,570 --> 00:18:50,970 but his name was stormy. 449 00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:51,870 I mean, is that cool? 450 00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:52,870 That's a cool name. 451 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,670 I'm going to ask that dude stormy, 452 00:18:54,670 --> 00:18:55,170 you know, 453 00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:59,270 and then I saw him leave a meeting one night and he walked out with one of the hottest chicks. 454 00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:01,970 Oh, yeah, that's that's going to be good sponsor right there. 455 00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:06,170 Cool name a chick and then the two of them got into a brand new Cadillac. 456 00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:06,870 I went boom. 457 00:19:06,870 --> 00:19:08,170 I'm picking a winner right here. 458 00:19:08,170 --> 00:19:09,970 I went hey stormy would be my sponsor. 459 00:19:09,970 --> 00:19:12,870 He says hey, you're that little 15 year old kid trying to get sober. 460 00:19:12,870 --> 00:19:13,770 I said, yes, I am. 461 00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,870 He says we'll try this sponsorship thing. 462 00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:19,170 But first thing I'm going to ask you to do is I'm going to ask you to quit sharing. 463 00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:21,170 You got 30 days and for 29 days, 464 00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:24,070 you've shared every single day and we're tired of it. 465 00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:27,470 That's the way we used to talk to people in the 70s and early sobriety. 466 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:28,870 We talked don't hold anything back. 467 00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:29,370 Shut up. 468 00:19:29,370 --> 00:19:30,370 I don't want to hear anything else. 469 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:35,070 Same and I so I learned real quick where he got his nickname stormy from it was like 470 00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:40,670 and he was a stormy dude and he was he's barking stuff at me and I'm not digging the sponsor idea 471 00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:42,370 and because I don't know anything about sponsorship. 472 00:19:42,370 --> 00:19:43,870 I'm only 30 days sober. 473 00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:44,570 I held on to him. 474 00:19:44,570 --> 00:19:45,670 I think for two or three months. 475 00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:48,270 Which is a long time to put up with somebody's crap. 476 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:51,170 He's my sponsor and I'm putting up with this crap. 477 00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:52,960 Something's wrong there. 478 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:58,960 So I went to a meeting in Thousand Oaks and I ran into this guy named Joe. 479 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,860 Joe was cool. Joe has a simple name. 480 00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:02,760 I think I'm going to ask Joe to be my sponsor. 481 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,560 And then this Thousand Oaks meeting, AA was at a church. 482 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:07,760 AA was in this room. 483 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:11,560 Al-Anon was in this room and down the hall Alateen was over here. 484 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,060 I'm only 15 years old, right? 485 00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:15,760 And I'm over at the AA meeting and all these old guys. 486 00:20:15,860 --> 00:20:20,560 About my age today were saying, hey Marty, you probably belong in that room down there in Alateen. 487 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,160 I used to take offense to that. 488 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:27,560 It's like I wanted to flip them off and say popular words, you know, and I said, no, I belong over here. 489 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,460 I'm an alcoholic. 490 00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:32,760 But I went down to that Alateen meeting because that's truly where my peers were. 491 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:39,360 And I looked in this meeting and I saw this one cute chick and I just got a car because back then 15 years old. 492 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,760 If you got a learner's permit, you can also own a car. 493 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,160 So I got a car. 494 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,160 I'm sober. 495 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,460 I think I got it going on. 496 00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:49,360 And then I met this little Alateen girl and she had, I'm still shallow. 497 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,660 She had a really cool name. 498 00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:52,060 Her name was Gigi. 499 00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:57,060 She pronounced it Gigi, but I threw a little French twist into it because she was hot. 500 00:20:57,060 --> 00:21:00,760 I says, hey Gigi, would you, would you go to coffee after the meeting with me? 501 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,860 She said, I need to ask my dad. 502 00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:03,260 Okay. 503 00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:05,260 And so she went and asked her dad. 504 00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:05,760 She came back. 505 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,160 She's lit up a little bit. 506 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,360 She says, yeah, I can go with you. 507 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,060 I can even ride with you in your car. 508 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:10,460 Cool. 509 00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:12,960 We get to do parts where we're having coffee after the meeting. 510 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,760 I put on the inside of the booth. 511 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:15,860 So she can't get out. 512 00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:17,060 And I'm sitting there with her. 513 00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:19,360 She's cute as, oh boy, she's cute as a bug. 514 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:23,260 I put my arm around her and here comes walking in my brand new sponsor, Joe. 515 00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:26,160 And I got my arm around her because I'm going to let Joe know what's up. 516 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,860 That he's got an AA baby that's got it going on. 517 00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:31,860 And Joe walked right up to the table and Gigi goes, hi dad. 518 00:21:31,860 --> 00:21:37,460 Oh, it was the longest movement of my arm in my life was to bring it back on this side of her. 519 00:21:37,460 --> 00:21:38,560 And he looked at me. 520 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,660 He says, I'm watching you. 521 00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:44,060 Man, I'm striking out on these sponsors, you know. 522 00:21:44,060 --> 00:21:44,560 Fast forward. 523 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,860 I kept staying sober. 524 00:21:46,860 --> 00:21:48,460 I kept doing the deal. 525 00:21:48,460 --> 00:21:51,160 Got my first service commit in 1979. 526 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,560 I'm only 17 years old, just before I joined the Navy. 527 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,960 And they voted me in to be at GSR for a meeting. 528 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,060 And they said, we really want your input. 529 00:22:00,060 --> 00:22:04,160 Because not only is there young people coming into Alcoholics Anonymous that maybe you can help us with. 530 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,560 But there's something else going on that we need to reel in somehow. 531 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,260 So I go to this GSR thing. 532 00:22:09,260 --> 00:22:12,660 And back then they used to, they literally used to fight, you know. 533 00:22:12,660 --> 00:22:14,360 Everybody knew the traditions better than you. 534 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:15,860 Better than the other person. 535 00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:18,560 Everybody knew the concepts more than anybody else. 536 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:22,060 But what they were concerned about in 1979 were andes. 537 00:22:22,060 --> 00:22:23,760 I'm an alcoholic and an addict. 538 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,760 And they says, Marty, you're a young person. 539 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,760 What are we going to do about this? 540 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,660 And I felt like the outcome of AA was on my shoulders. 541 00:22:30,660 --> 00:22:32,460 It's like, why are you talking to me about this? 542 00:22:32,460 --> 00:22:34,060 I'm an alcoholic, you know. 543 00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:36,360 And it's not like we got to do something about this. 544 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,560 Singing is the purpose. 545 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,260 They went down this whole route. 546 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:41,860 I had a GSR commitment in 1981. 547 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:44,160 What happened in 1981 in the whole world? 548 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,860 PCs became available to everybody. 549 00:22:46,860 --> 00:22:50,660 And there used to be a drifter's meeting directory. 550 00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:54,160 And these are people that live in very remote areas that can't get to meetings. 551 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,760 And what they do is they write letters to GSO. 552 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,460 And they'd wait for us to write them back. 553 00:22:58,460 --> 00:22:59,460 That was their AA meeting. 554 00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:02,260 They'd send them the grapevine because that's the meeting in print. 555 00:23:02,260 --> 00:23:06,060 And the rich people back in 1981 can afford a computer. 556 00:23:06,060 --> 00:23:09,560 And they started this AOL, Friends of Bill W online. 557 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,260 And they started doing meetings online. 558 00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:13,560 Boy, in 1981, there was a big stink about that. 559 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,060 Fifth concept covers it. 560 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:15,960 Segregation. 561 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,160 We cannot segregate ourselves. 562 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:23,760 We cannot segregate the people that can't afford a computer, that can't go online to a meeting. 563 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:24,760 It's a violation. 564 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:29,560 So back in the day, there was no meetings listed in any directory that were online. 565 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:30,660 Interesting facts. 566 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:36,890 So after my first two years of sobriety, I went and joined the United States Navy. 567 00:23:36,890 --> 00:23:39,090 There's a whole bunch of stories in there. 568 00:23:39,090 --> 00:23:43,290 Don't have time to tell them because I got the five-minute line light a couple minutes ago. 569 00:23:43,690 --> 00:23:46,590 I went to 10 different countries in the United States Navy. 570 00:23:46,590 --> 00:23:48,490 I went to meetings in every single country. 571 00:23:48,490 --> 00:23:53,490 1981, I went to Byran for a visit. 572 00:23:53,490 --> 00:23:55,090 The whole fleet went to Byran. 573 00:23:55,090 --> 00:23:56,290 It's right next to Iran. 574 00:23:56,290 --> 00:23:57,890 And they didn't like us back then. 575 00:23:57,890 --> 00:23:58,690 They don't like us today. 576 00:23:58,690 --> 00:24:00,890 But they didn't like us back in 1981. 577 00:24:00,890 --> 00:24:03,890 And alcohol was illegal in Byran. 578 00:24:03,890 --> 00:24:05,890 The Muslim belief is no alcohol. 579 00:24:05,890 --> 00:24:10,190 If you get caught with an alcohol offense in Byran, they're going to cut off your right hand. 580 00:24:10,190 --> 00:24:11,490 That's sentencing you to death. 581 00:24:11,490 --> 00:24:13,490 Because their Muslim belief is so strong. 582 00:24:13,490 --> 00:24:15,690 This is the hand that you eat with. 583 00:24:15,690 --> 00:24:17,490 Your left hand you use for the bathroom. 584 00:24:17,490 --> 00:24:21,490 You do not use, and their belief is so strong, they will not eat with their left hand. 585 00:24:21,490 --> 00:24:24,290 So if you get caught with an alcohol offense, they're cutting off your right hand. 586 00:24:24,290 --> 00:24:30,490 If you find out you're a self-admitted alcoholic, which I was in 1981 with four years of sobriety, they cut off your right hand. 587 00:24:30,490 --> 00:24:33,890 So I call up this guy that GSO gave me a name and a phone number to over there. 588 00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:34,690 His name was Mike. 589 00:24:34,690 --> 00:24:35,890 I remember his name very well. 590 00:24:35,890 --> 00:24:37,690 Mike, I want to get to a meeting tonight. 591 00:24:37,690 --> 00:24:38,690 And he hung up on me. 592 00:24:38,690 --> 00:24:42,390 And before he hung up on me, he asked me for the pay phone number. 593 00:24:42,390 --> 00:24:43,390 And I gave him the pay phone number. 594 00:24:43,390 --> 00:24:44,590 I was calling him from. 595 00:24:44,590 --> 00:24:46,390 But when he hung up on me, he called me right back. 596 00:24:46,390 --> 00:24:48,390 He says, please do not mention a meeting. 597 00:24:48,390 --> 00:24:51,390 Every one of our phone calls are being governed by the government. 598 00:24:51,390 --> 00:24:53,090 They are listening to everything we say. 599 00:24:53,090 --> 00:24:53,890 And he hung up again. 600 00:24:53,890 --> 00:24:54,990 I thought that was weird. 601 00:24:54,990 --> 00:24:55,990 And he called me right back. 602 00:24:55,990 --> 00:25:01,290 He says, by the way, each one of our conversations are going to last less than one minute and 37 seconds. 603 00:25:01,290 --> 00:25:02,590 Because that's the way they monitor. 604 00:25:02,590 --> 00:25:05,490 After one minute and 37 seconds, they figure you're up to something. 605 00:25:05,490 --> 00:25:06,290 So let's chime in. 606 00:25:06,290 --> 00:25:08,790 So all of our conversations are going to be about a minute long. 607 00:25:08,790 --> 00:25:09,390 And it was. 608 00:25:09,390 --> 00:25:12,090 It was the choppiest conversation I've ever had in my life. 609 00:25:12,090 --> 00:25:13,690 And I was just trying to get to a meeting. 610 00:25:13,690 --> 00:25:15,990 So I went to an underground meeting in Byran. 611 00:25:15,990 --> 00:25:17,690 It's one of the 10 countries I've been through. 612 00:25:17,690 --> 00:25:20,590 And it was for them because I didn't grasp it. 613 00:25:20,590 --> 00:25:22,090 To them, it was life changing. 614 00:25:22,090 --> 00:25:27,190 It was a life sacrifice just to go to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in Byran, 1981. 615 00:25:27,190 --> 00:25:28,190 Got out of the Navy. 616 00:25:28,190 --> 00:25:28,990 My time's up. 617 00:25:28,990 --> 00:25:30,090 Got out of the Navy. 618 00:25:30,090 --> 00:25:31,990 I met this girl in a Pacific group. 619 00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:34,090 We had a couple of kids. 620 00:25:34,090 --> 00:25:36,880 We moved to Temecula. 621 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,680 Living large. 622 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,880 Very successful businessman. 623 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,080 Bought the family business. 624 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,680 Everything's great. 625 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,080 A lot of sobriety. 626 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,280 Two kids and a dog. 627 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,480 That was the national average. 628 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,080 Then I had my little week from hell. 629 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,280 And I'll sort of end with this. 630 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,980 I got to end with my wife because she might get a recording of my talk. 631 00:25:54,980 --> 00:25:57,380 So there's two stories. 632 00:25:57,380 --> 00:25:59,880 But we were living good in Temecula. 633 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:01,380 And I had a little week from hell. 634 00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:02,280 We had two kids. 635 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,580 And at this time, my son was 17 years old. 636 00:26:04,580 --> 00:26:06,580 Bruce and I talked about our kids tonight, too. 637 00:26:06,580 --> 00:26:08,280 That's how much history you have. 638 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,680 We both remember our kids when they were tots, you know. 639 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:16,180 So anyways, my son got jumped and beaten so badly, he needed facial reconstructive surgery. 640 00:26:16,180 --> 00:26:17,080 That was on a Monday. 641 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:17,880 This is my week. 642 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,280 Tuesday, I found out that I was going to be losing an office building I bought for the family business. 643 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,680 That's problems of abundance, but it still hurt. 644 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:34,180 Wednesday, I was charged with two felony counts of tax evasion because I found out my office manager was stealing my money and not making my payroll employee tax payments, which is a felony offense. 645 00:26:34,180 --> 00:26:37,280 And because she stole so much money, it reached two felonies. 646 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:38,280 So a little S.A. 647 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:39,680 Martine with 31 years of sobriety was going to go to jail for that. 648 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:40,680 I was going to go to jail for that. 649 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:41,680 I was going to go to jail for that. 650 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:48,480 On Thursday, we found out we were going to lose the house that we were living in, because that was the crash of the market in 2008. 651 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,280 And then Friday, I walked up to my wife to see how she was doing. 652 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:56,280 She says, I'm not doing very well, but I don't think you're going to be doing any better, because I just filed for a divorce. 653 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:57,480 It all happened in one week. 654 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:01,580 So the ten-minute speaker says, we can live through a lot of things. 655 00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:04,380 And folks, this is where we get experience, strength and hope. 656 00:27:04,380 --> 00:27:07,040 We're all going to have experiences. 657 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:11,370 Divorces, marriages, you know. 658 00:27:11,370 --> 00:27:17,210 broken fingernails, lose a house, lose a car. We're all going to have experiences. Where the 659 00:27:17,210 --> 00:27:21,150 strength comes from is if we don't drink over this stuff. That's where the strength comes from. 660 00:27:21,270 --> 00:27:25,050 Experience, strength, and the last one's hope. And where the hope comes from is when we start 661 00:27:25,050 --> 00:27:29,330 sharing about it. If enough of us share about what we've been through in sobriety, that'll give us 662 00:27:29,330 --> 00:27:34,050 and somebody else hope. Because take something really simple. I know that Bruce just went 663 00:27:34,050 --> 00:27:39,430 through something with his neighbors. Guess what? If I sponsor somebody else, chatting up with 664 00:27:39,430 --> 00:27:43,410 somebody else later on in life, and Marty can't believe it, I'm going through this thing with 665 00:27:43,410 --> 00:27:47,590 some neighbors. I've never been through that. But what I can say to them, because he's been good 666 00:27:47,590 --> 00:27:51,270 enough to experience it, didn't drink, he got the strength, and he started sharing with me, 667 00:27:51,330 --> 00:27:55,290 there's hope now. I can tell this person, it's like, go talk to Bruce. I have no experience, 668 00:27:55,750 --> 00:28:01,270 but Bruce does, unfortunately. So here's my last story, because I said I wouldn't step down 669 00:28:01,270 --> 00:28:05,470 without talking about my wife, and my time is way up. But I met my wife at the Wednesday night 670 00:28:05,470 --> 00:28:09,410 Pacific Group meeting. I was out of my divorce, 11 months. I said I was going to be by myself, 671 00:28:09,430 --> 00:28:14,730 for a year. God had different plans. He only wanted me to wait 11 months, because I met Julie. 672 00:28:14,870 --> 00:28:18,390 I met Julie. I stuck my hand out, because that's what we do. We're goofy like that. 673 00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:22,890 Hi, I'm Marty. She said, oh, I know who you are. I've heard you speak multiple times. She says, 674 00:28:22,930 --> 00:28:26,990 I think I love you. I can't live another day without you. You're my end all, be all. You're 675 00:28:26,990 --> 00:28:31,450 my sunrise. You're my sunset. We're destined to live together. You know, you got to submit to 676 00:28:31,450 --> 00:28:35,550 words like that. So I said, well, let's get married then. Now, she gives a good talk. She's 677 00:28:35,550 --> 00:28:39,410 18 years sober next month. When you hear her side of the story, she said, 678 00:28:39,430 --> 00:28:43,930 when we met, that all she said was, hello. See, I heard all that other stuff, because that's 679 00:28:43,930 --> 00:28:49,010 after 48 years of sobriety, that's where my alcoholism is. Still centered in my brain. I 680 00:28:49,010 --> 00:28:53,690 heard all that other stuff. She can't live without me. Oh, my God. I was the end all, be all. But 681 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:59,030 she said, hello. So if I didn't cover it, trust me, I did it. So work with the sponsor. Do the 682 00:28:59,030 --> 00:29:04,270 steps. Ride a little. Go to a few meetings. Don't drink in between. And your life will become 683 00:29:04,270 --> 00:29:06,550 unbelievable. Thank you.