From Blackout Drinker to 38 Years Sober: Richard’s Journey

Thank you. I had to dust this off. Hello. My name is Richard Bounds. I'm an alcoholic.

I'm really grateful to be here tonight. Thank you, Nate, for asking me to share my experience,

strength, and hope. It's always an honor and a privilege to be asked to share an Alcoholics

Anonymous meeting. Thank you, Nancy, for being a great host. I'm just grateful for this meeting.

Thank you. I can relate to a lot of what you were saying, especially about the pot parts and all

that stuff. I'll get to that in a little bit. I won't dwell on it, but my sobriety date is

May 24th, 1988. And for that, I'm forever grateful. I don't know if anybody is new here,

but if you're here and you're new and you didn't raise your hand, welcome. And I want to tell you,

you don't have to want to be here tonight for this program to work because that was my experience.

You know, when I came into that room on that day, May 24th, 88, I walked into Uniday and were there

on Lancashire at the time. You could smoke back then. So I sat in the back, thought my life was

over. You know, what does sober people do? You know, I just thought my life was over. And then

you guys said these strange words to me as I was leaving. I didn't raise my hand or anything

because I wasn't an alcoholic. You know, I knew I drank too much, but I wasn't an alcoholic. I just

had to have this thing signed to keep my job. So I left the meeting and this guy, Bill, said,

keep coming back. Another guy named Bill. I go, why do these people want me to come back? You know,

all I heard my whole life was get the hell out and don't come back. And you guys were telling

me to keep coming back and so much gratitude. I'm standing here today and I'm just really grateful.

I always have a disclaimer that some of my story is based on other people and police reports because

I was a, I was a blackout, I was a blackout drinker. I'd wake up in jail and go, what happened?

You know, and so I said that I read the report and I go, dang, you know, I got thrown out of

most of the stadiums here. You know, I got arrested out of Anaheim. I was one of those

guys back in 1979 when slid into third base, you know, and stuff like that. Just, you know,

stupid stuff. It did not know why I was in jail. I woke up and here I'm reading this report that

what I had done, I knocked somebody down and I tried to fight a cop and I was always trying to

fight the cops, you know, which wasn't very bright. And, uh, but is that, you know, but is that stuff

why I'm here today? Uh, I too started with the other stuff, smoking before I did the drinking.

It was easy to get to where I work at the time. I worked as an usher at the Coliseum sports arena

back then and the, uh, they smoked. So that's what I did. And then, uh, when I was in high school,

anything I had my first drink, it was a, uh, I believe it was a, uh, what's the orange juice

and vodka or screwdriver. I think it was a screwdriver. That was like a high school drink,

I guess. Cause it was sweet. So that's what I had. And from that day on until I was 33 years

old and I got sober, I had something in my system. I was a truck driver for a local newspaper for a

while. So it was hard to come to work, you know, alcohol, my breath. So I would smoke, you know,

but I always had something in my system. You know, I, uh, I guess I was a blackout drinker. I,

I just sat there and I just, uh, when everybody else was going home, I was going back out trying

to get to the seven 11 or the bar or, or into the market and a quarter to two, make sure I had

alcohol for afterwards. I, uh, I would sit there and just, uh, just drink to two, three in the

morning and then wake up the next day, all hung over and, and just not remember what I did or

anything. I must've liked Mexican food a lot back then too, because every time I look, I look at my

oven or something, whatever, maybe like a half eaten burrito or something, some place I probably

stopped at at three in the morning on my way home or something. Oh, I guess I had taco last night,

go to work for this terrible hangover. And then I was just sit there and say, okay, I'm not going to

drink today. I'm going to just going to go home and be good. But you know, when you start checking

out about a certain time, you realize, you know what? I don't feel so bad. And this is at the end

of my drinking. I did work nights for 19 years. And so that was easy to get alcohol then because

I'd be in my vehicle and I'd start by seven 11 and I worked for the daily news. And so we'd be

out there distributing papers at the time. I kind of ran the nighttime operation until I got demoted.

And so we'd always, we're out there all drinking, you know, just partying out there and stuff. And

thank God I didn't kill anybody, but I was just sit there. And when I got demoted to daytime,

it was same thing. I just, that's when I would wake up with the hangover and I'd have to drive

somewhere. I'd be all whatever. And then I would just start to feel pretty good. And then I stopped

at the bar. I'm like, I know David F. I actually knew him from 37 plus years ago at a place called

Charlie O's. I just talked about it maybe. So I would, you know, and, uh, I go in there and next

thing you know, it'd be two in the morning again. And I did it one more time and did it one more

time. One more time. A lot of my story, like I said, I just was, I was like, so it's a blackout

drinker when, when I was, uh, and I didn't like people like I hated people, you know, I, I grew

up in my last name is bounce. I had red hair at freckles. It was just, it was a nightmare. My, my,

my childhood, my parents were not the greatest parents in the world. I had to learn to forgive

them in this program. And so we moved around a lot stuff. But like I said, I went to Newcastle

elementary. I went to North Hollywood high. Like I was telling somebody over here in the corner,

I remember it used to be a piggly wiggly market, you know, that we used to go steal from back in

the sixties and stuff and all that. But, uh, but you know, that's just how I lived my life. I just

was out there doing every whatever. And then when I was, I think I was 19 and a half or 20,

I had decided that, uh, I didn't want to work anymore. I was working at this warehouse in

some value. I didn't want to work anymore. So I quit my job and got a backpack and I went

and got a Greyhound bus pass and went around the United States for nine weeks called a me against

the United States. And it was a, this was in 1974. So it's hard to believe how many years ago that

was like 50. And so I sat there and, uh, just did the thing and then hung out in the States.

We could drink in, you know, I take the boss and some of the States are 18, like Florida,

had a great time in Florida. And then I got up into these other States and drinking age was 21.

I didn't want to be here and I can just go up. Uh, I had some friends that lived in long Island

and they're the drinking age was 18 and the bar stayed open till 4 AM. This was great. So I stayed

there until I got thrown out. Basically the court Jefferson police pretty much said, if you don't

leave, we're going to arrest you, you know, because I was troubled, just troubled. And so finally left

there. And then I ran out of money. I didn't have that much money anyway. And, uh, between the bus

and the hitchhike and, uh, I wouldn't do that trip today, but I'm 74. I felt safe. Went back home and

got my job back. And I thought, you know, maybe I should get married. So I met this girl work and,

uh, she was a Jehovah's witness. So the alcoholic Jehovah's witness marriage did not last very long

now officially it lasted four years, but it was over after probably four days in her mind,

because I think she thought she could change me. And I was hoping she would loosen up a little bit.

And I was definitely in the fall. There there's no doubt, you know, and when we got divorced,

this was in 1980, she even told the judge, she said, I don't want to get alimony from him. I

want nothing. I just want my name change. And this was a Jehovah's witness spiritual, and I heard,

you're not supposed to cuss. So I'll try not to, but she said, I never want to F and see him again.

This is what she said in court. That's how bad I screwed up her life. So I went fine. I just saw

it as an open invitation. You have to continue drinking without having, you know, like that was

the nag. And so I just continued. That was my life. Just, just getting in trouble, getting thrown

out of places. He's been a lot of football game, Raider nation, by the way, got thrown out of the

Coliseum twice, the same game. I don't think I throw it out that I stuck back in, got thrown out.

I saw the same cops again, you know, when I get my, but I never took responsibility. That was my

fault. I was always, if I had done this, when I got one of my DUIs, if I'd only gone down ban on

instead of victory, I wouldn't have gotten caught. There's more cops on victory. Why did I do that?

You know, it never dawned on me that because I was drinking too much, why end up in jail. And then of

course, when I was in jail, like I said, I would start a fight back then they could do chokeholds

and all that. So soon I got a few chokeholds, but not me, but you know, well-deserved well-deserved

and it was just, and then I just, just kept drinking and didn't care. Like I said, I hated

people. I didn't like people. When I, when I got drunk, I was drinking and I was more tolerable.

I called myself an active drunk. I wasn't one of the ones that just went and sat in the corner of

a bar or I stayed home. I was always out doing stuff, which means I was getting in trouble

because I was always out somewhere until I got thrown out or asked not to return. I said,

I couldn't tell you how many times I got told never come back. And then I got a DUI in 1986.

And then they said, I got sentenced to court card, right? So I thought, okay. So I went to a meeting,

think it was Radford, but I couldn't swear to. And I went there and I thought to myself, well,

here I am 33, 31 years old. So I thought, okay, a bunch of old bald fat guys. And I thought, okay,

I'm not like any of these people. This, this is useless. And then of course my brilliant brain

said, wait a second, this place is, this is anonymous. They can't check this. So I brought my

card into the bar and I started saying, Hey, just define your name and initial, just don't spill any

beer on it. Got it all signed, brought it to the judge. Judge was all, yeah, you're good. And all

this stuff. So I was all proud of myself, but all I did was just, you know, just fooled myself. You

know, I wouldn't take care of myself. Another time I had things forged. Like I never understood

why people were standing on the corner of Oxnard and Van Nuys Boulevard and the building there.

You know, so I was one of them because I got another DUI and it was like alcohol school or

something. And I think that time, no, I didn't have to have a car sign, but they had, they made

me, you're supposed to read a book. And I found out that book was the big book. And of course I

didn't care at the time. So I think I paid somebody in the bar 20 bucks to read the book for me and

write a little report because I always went the easier, softer way. I wasn't going to do it. So

one of my last big major drunks was I went to the, uh, the Renaissance fair when I was out in the

gourd. This was in 88 and just same thing, woke up. I was always broke, you know, get paid on

Thursdays broke by Friday because of the other stuff. I couldn't drink that much, but you know,

the other stuff took a lot of my money and I just sat there and I woke up and I went to the bar.

I don't even know if it's still there. The red chariot on Burbank. I went there and, uh, no,

it wasn't the red chair. It was the red chariot. But anyway, uh, the bartender there said, why don't

you try AA? You know, her husband, I guess was in prison and he got sober in AA and I go, no, AA

don't work. You know, because I went to that one half a meeting or whatever I did. So I knew that

AA didn't work. So I said, no, it doesn't work. And then, uh, I got called into work and they said,

if you don't do anything, we're going to have to get rid of it. So I went to their EAP and their

employment assistance program and that's when they gave me another card and I said, okay, I got to

keep my job. So when I first, like I said, I wasn't an alcoholic. I didn't know what alcoholics was.

I know that I didn't live on sixth and main, fifth and main. So I couldn't be alcoholic. I still had

my job, even though by that time I was flopping on my mom's couch and an apartment in North Hollywood,

because everything else I had lost, you know, I didn't care if I paid my rent or paid my thing,

but I paid my bar tab, you know, I get in the bar tab was important. I could do without electricity

and I could do without gas and all this stuff because, but I had to pay my bar tab, you know,

so I was just sitting there, I'm flopping on the couch and stuff. People had got, they're just sick

of me, you know, you know, flopping through the house. I was like my mom's. And so I started,

she lived on my anchor sham and I found out this place called Unity was on my anchor sham. So I

thought, okay, I'll try this place just to get this thing. Maybe I'll just, uh, learn to just

drink beer and smoke pot because tequila and Coke was my problem, not beer pot. So I started going

to these meetings. And like I said, the first meeting you guys said those strange words keep

coming back and all these people want me to come back. And so I just kept going back cause I didn't

want to lose my job. And so I get my things signed and it had to be probably about 30 days or

something. And my brain was starting, was clearing up. And all of a sudden I had that first revelation.

I hadn't been arrested in 30 days. I hadn't woken up, but I hangover in 30 days. You know,

I knew where I was the night before the last 30 nights and all this other stuff. And then this

is what was the key for me for Alcoholics Anonymous is I started listening to the similarities instead

of the differences. And that's when I realized I'm an alcoholic, you know, whether I want to be or

not, I'm an alcoholic. So what am I going to do about it? So I just kept going back to the meeting

after I had my last day signed off when I went to that first meeting after that is when I said,

okay, I guess I'm really coming to AA because I didn't have to be there. That was the first meeting

in 41 days. I didn't have to be there for 50 days, whatever it was. And so then I just start going

back now. I wasn't going to do any of this stuff. I can tell you that, you know, even a day they had

the, you know, like here, they had the, uh, the steps on the walls. They had all the bricks there

with the sobriety. I didn't know little for sobriety days. I'm thinking, God, why are these

people? What? Maybe this was 88. So I'm thinking, wait a second. These people are five years old

because, you know, they had some data like 81 or something, you know, what is this? And I found

out what it was. So, you know, I just, uh, started going to me, but I wasn't going to do this stuff

because I'd never gone to church and it wasn't cause I was anti church or anything. Like I said,

we had kind of a, as this isn't why I was an alcoholic because my parents weren't the best

of parents. My mom and my stepdad is the fact that, uh, I'm an alcoholic because when I drink,

I can't stop. You know, I had that craving, but when people were going to church on Sundays,

I was in my grandfather's bar with my parents and South gate learning how to shoot pool. So

there they'd give me the money and they'd go drink and get drunk and they give me whatever it was,

Shirley temples or whatever, and a bunch of quarters. And I was just, me and my brothers

was just go shoot pool. So we just never went to church. So it wasn't like I was pro God,

anti God, just never went. So when I saw this God stuff up here, I thought, oh great,

it's going to be some religious thing, you know, and all this other stuff, you know, back then,

I don't think they do it anymore. Every time you went to a market, there was always somebody

trying to recruit you, you know, for the religion, whatever and stuff. And I'm like, great, this is

going to be religious. And then I thought, okay, I'm going to be religious. I don't know what sober

people do because everything I did involved alcohol. If there wasn't alcohol, I left. And so

I shared that. And somebody pointed out the first word in the second step where it said came to

believe it didn't say you had to believe you must believe you will believe. So it came to believe

just come to the meetings, don't drink and hopefully one day you'll have your higher power,

which I did, I finally came to believe in a power greater than myself. And God is my higher power.

And this was after I also finally admitted to my innermost self that I was an alcoholic, you know,

that was the first step I had to admit that because I still wasn't convinced a little bit because I

still had my job. I still wasn't going down living on skid row. But I just finally admit it. And then

I did the other step. And then when I got to step four and five, because remember, I hated people.

And so there's still so even though I was sober, I still didn't trust people. So there was that

trust factor. So I'm not gonna do this, you know, can do this. So I sat there and just kept putting

it off. Now I was enjoying sobriety, you know, many years and many pounds ago, I was a pretty

good athlete. So I was I signed up for the the softball leagues, silver softball leagues,

I was playing a classy saying I had to shave, which I did, I go mustache softball. Well,

you see what left, you know, so I was playing softball there, they had a sober bowling league

at Granada Hills Bowl before the earthquake back then knocked it down. And I always have to laugh

about swearing, because I was proud of this at the time. But in 1989, and 1990, I won a certificate

bowler with the biggest gutter mouth two years running, I still got those certificates somewhere

in the house. But you know, I had to learn that that was a character defect and blah, blah, blah.

So I really tried to be respectful. And I try not to cut sometimes it comes out. But I really tried

not to sit there and throw out f balls, which is basically my that was my language back then. I

just wasn't that good in school either. I barely got out of high school. So I just you know, that

was my language. You know, I just everything was f this and f the world and all this stuff. But I

try not to do that today. So so I was I was in the bowling league, they had a sober ski and thing and

all kinds of stuff. So I'm doing all this activity. I'm having fun, you know, playing softball with

the Friday night of Dickens me, they had a team, I played on that team and just doing some other

stuff. And then up my mentality, my brain, I was still I was going crazy. I was always upset still

still pissed off all the time, probably one of those awards and all this stuff. I was just

always pissed all the time. And then somebody had some up to me and said I had a sponsor, but I was

one of those guys that, you know, had a couple of sponsors, you know, cuz I was always gonna beat

the system, you know, so you know, so I just asked the same question till I got the answer that I

wanted to hear. And I said, Yeah, cuz someone told me I could do that. So anyway, I ended up,

but Mike, you, you like you, he was a, he was my first sponsor. But anyway, so he got me sort of

steered in the right direction. And then all of a sudden, I was just going nuts. And I just started

writing my fourth step. And that was under another good advice, you know, funny listening to people.

And they said, Don't worry about the fifth, right, the fourth noise, you know, don't worry about the

fifth. So I sat there and did it finally. And then I had to start worrying about the fifth when I was

done. And so my sponsors just said, Hey, we're going to get on the five freeway, and we're going

to drive north until you're done reading it. So that's what we did. We end up somewhere outside

of Bakersfield or something, you know, we just just drove up there. And then we did six and seven,

whatever. And then we came back, I had a little over two years when I did this. So like I said,

no 30 day wonder or anything that just took me a while. And then I really felt like I was part

of Alcoholics Anonymous. Now I felt like I was in then I started doing the amends thing. I never did

see that wife again, I had no idea where she was at. But I was able to my sponsor, you know,

write a letter and just kind of read the letter to the air, basically saying, Hey, I'm sorry for what

I had done and stuff and went around and money amends are easy. Yeah, I came up to people I say,

Hey, I owe you whatever, and they didn't even know I'd ripped them off. So you know, they're all

happy that I'm giving them money. So those were easy, you know, but trying to do the personal

ones, especially when it came to my stepdad and my mom, those were tough. But you know,

through sponsorship and stuff, I had to focus on my part when they used to leave town. And I was

sneaking their house and hold these big parties and the cops would be coming and all this other

stuff. And you know, I had to talk my part, you know, because I felt the time that they owed me,

you know, so I, you know, I was able to do my amends. And we ended up having a cordial my mom

actually, and I'm getting sober at channel launch, which was kind of cool. So that that worked out

good. And I ended up having a cordial relationship before he got for stepdad died and my mom. And so

I was grateful that I was able to do that. And then through my sobriety, you know, things are

going well. And then a friend of mine for Hey, actually was talking to him on the way here. He

lives up in Oregon now. Yeah, we're talking that he had asked me this was in 1990. I bought a house

in Van Nuys, you know, there's all x, you know, here I am, you guys need to text to go when you

can give me a car, you know, back remember, they used to have those little gas cars and all that.

And now they were lending me money to buy a house. I owned a house and everything was good. And my

friend Jorge, he's got about the same amount of time I got, he asked me to help him do a security

up at the central office on New Year's Eve, he used to have like a big party. So this was this

particular year was in Redondo Beach. So I was up there at the door, and she walked in, and we just

started talking. And I said to Jorge, I said, I'm gonna get to know this person. And so we ended up

talking, she tried to dish me, she's a little bit older than I am. So she thought I was 41,

she was 55. So she thought that I was too young for her. So she tried to dish me and stuff. But I

was I just sat there, you know, and she's we're coming up on 29 years of marriage. And you know,

things are going well, you know, she's, she's got 46 years, so I'm still a newcomer in the family,

you know, but for us, we do separate meetings, you know, we don't do meetings together,

people in our area didn't even know we were together till we went to the local convention,

because, you know, we even when we lived in LA, and, you know, she went to her meetings,

I went to my meetings. So we kept our program separate, but we brought the sobriety home to

have a sober household. And so that's what worked for us. You know, I see couples that come to

meetings all the time, and that works for them. Great. That wasn't us. You know, we don't work

well together. And also other stuff, we always pride ourselves that you know, that opposite

subtract for the poster children for that and all that, because here's a sophisticated woman from LA

and I who she's just had an alcohol problem. And then I was wasn't a nice person here,

down here, you know, and stuff. So like I said, things are going well. And so things are going

well. And then in 1999, I got diagnosed with cancer. And oh, great, now I'm gonna die. You

know, that's first thing I went to, you know, I went, I went there, I thought, okay, you know,

things are going well, happy, I just got married and all this other stuff. And now I'm going to

die. But okay, but then people started sharing, they said, go to go to meetings, share about it,

other people will tell their experience. And I did that. And so I started hearing from people

from different states, whatever, say, Hey, I'm so and so and you know, I beat cancer,

just follow doctors directions, which I didn't do before. See, part of my story when I was out there,

you know, I have a limp and all that I had a hip replacement not too long ago. So that's why I'm

still limping off of that. But before that, I never went back to adopt never went back. So like,

when I had, I got into a bar fight, placed in this bar on Sherman Way and Woodman, I got a bigger

bar fight and tore up my tendons and my broke my ankle and stuff. And I went back into the fight,

you know, because that's what we did. And then I that's when it'll say, I woke up with a blackout,

I woke up the next day wondering, why is my ankle hurt? Looking over there. So I went to Kaiser,

they almost threw me out of there. Because here I'm at Kaiser Panorama City on the balcony,

you know, blasting deep purple, you know, smoky and all this stuff. They're rushing and getting

me I had people birthday, what do you need? I need beer and pots what I need, you know,

so they finally got me out as soon as possible. And then the group of friends from the bar,

Charlie O's, we would they all went to Kern River, whatever. And like I said, I was the athlete. So I

said screw this, I want to water ski. So I put my cast in the river, cut it off and start water ski

and and a couple other times I broke my thing here, cut that cast off, you know, I never went

just that was my thing. I never went back. I took out my own stitches. I just never went. So now I

was going back to the doctor following directions. And I can tell you even to this day after my hip

replacement, I'm so nervous about doing something that I'm not supposed to do. I'm constantly I was

under calling them. Okay, can I do this? Can I do that? Am I allowed to do this? How long am I

supposed to do this and stuff? Because I'm following directions, you know, but back then,

no, I did, you know, and so so I went to the thing and I'm cancer free. I've been cancer free,

you know, I went up on 26 years, 26 years. Yeah, it hardly was 2025. And so, you know,

all the stuff and then things are going well in LA going to meetings in Westchester trying to get

things, you know, new and also my wife's daughter got married, moved to this place called Apple

Valley, Apple Valley, you know, we got I got to Victorville lots of times because I like to

gamble a little bit. And so we got we went to Apple Valley and then Lynn got pregnant and Jackie

said I want to move. I could be near my daughter. So I said, Okay, I had quit the newspaper for

personal reasons and stuff. And so I said I can whatever I got a job actually at the local paper

up there because with my experience, they put me as the home delivery distribution manager up there.

So I had a job daily press. So we moved to Apple Valley and been there 23 years and just had to

get a whole new set of meetings and start to go to meetings there. I said, Where's the meeting book?

You know, I'm expecting like a little booklet. They give me like a sheet and I said, Oh, these

are means in Apple Valley. They don't know these are all the meetings up here in the high desert.

And so but anyway, you know, we're not perfect. So have character defects. So I'm going through

a little resentment thing with some of the meetings there. Thank God for you guys. And

thank God for shakers because shakers, you know, my sponsor go Gary A goes to shakers. And so I

come into shakers once a month driving just to see my friends and all that. And so we've been living

up there and just enjoying life, you know, then ended up moving away because she didn't like the

desert. You know, you gotta like wind and dirt, you know, to live up there, but she didn't like

it in five minutes. That's cool. And so I we still live up there. And we love it. You know, we just

we do the sober thing. I was part of their convention for long for many years. This last

weekend, I had the honor of leading the old timer, the long timers me for the convention there. And

that was that was pretty cool. I had my wife reluctantly is one of my speakers. And so she

bought it out. But then she said she would do it. So she came and did it. I bought the CD just to

prove that Yeah, you did it and all that. But uh, but you know, sobriety is good. And we're having

a good time. Oh, it was really it was a no brainer when Nate asked me to share and he said I could

use a zoom capacity. And I said no, I said I want to drive up here. I said I see guys on zoom all

the time. I want to meet everybody in person. I said, you know, I drive to LA all the time.

We're season to get all those the Clippers, we go to radar games, wherever. So if I'm going to

drive back and forth for basketball games, why wouldn't I drive back and forth from myself?

You know, that's why I drive into Glendale. It's our so you know, I used to drive a lot longer than

that to pick up drugs and alcohol if I needed to. So I wanted to come out here. And of course,

my brain saying Do I really want to go? Of course I do. You know, and I'm so glad that I did it to

meet everybody in person, you know, and it's just really, it's really cool. And I can tell you that

claw thing does not sound nearly as impressive on zoom as it does be. Okay, that makes it all

worthwhile. You know, I'm here hearing that, you know, but uh, you know, I just, I love alcohol

synonymous, you know, and that's why I share if there's anybody who's new who doesn't want to be

here, it does work because I clearly didn't want to be here. You know, 37 plus years ago,

I thought my life was over, you know, what a sober people do, you know, I had no idea what sober

people did. Well, you know what they do? We do everything that we can do drink and I remember

being there. Me and 10 of our friends from shakers, we went to a Dodger game. And it was kind of funny

because we said it was like 10 designated drivers at this game. Anyone know something? I didn't

start a fight. I wasn't arrested. And I remember being there and I had a blast. We're all you know,

we're all sharing, you know, this probably wasn't very healthy. Anybody who's a health freak, but

you know, they bought a couple helmets of nachos that were passing those around overall. And with

10 guys, there wasn't a napkin or white be in sight. But you know what, we were happy. We were

having a blast, you know, all this stuff. And my wife's the opposite. She she's constantly but you

know, we were having fun. And even at this stage of my sobriety, I'm going out there, we're having

fun. You know, I'm still in the profession that I do, you know, I don't want to retire. I'm a realtor

out there. So you know, I don't I don't want to retire. I don't I don't need to retire and just

keep doing what I'm doing at my own pace. You know, so my wife and I were doing like road trips

and we do stuff like that. And we were having fun. Yeah, I would have missed it all. If Bill probably

didn't say keep coming back, you know, or if you guys didn't share your experience, strength and

hope or had something I could relate to. Because before just on the surface, I was not you guys,

you know, but now I'm so grateful that I was and I still am. And in my last minute, I just want to

say I've said this a few times on my shares. Thank you to this meeting for being a true hybrid. I you

know, I've been going to a lot of meetings on zoom, and they call them hybrids. You don't get

the participation from the audience in the zoom as you do with the people live here. It's a constant

interaction, you know, share and all this stuff. Usually it's the live people and the zoom people

and stuff. And so that's why I became part of one be part of this group again. And I just,

like I said, I used to come here when I was licensed session, which is what you say now,

and stuff. And I was not structural. That's why I didn't join the group because I was anti,

but I love coming to Saturday to the speaker meetings. And I did that for years. But anyway,

now I love the structure. Tell me how that works. So I'm done. Nate, thank you again very much for

asking me to come out here. And I'm really glad to be here tonight. Thank you.