From Chaos to Sobriety: Richard's Journey

Hi, everybody. My name is Richard Bounce. I'm an alcoholic. Really grateful to be here tonight. Thank you, Abraham, for asking me to share. It's an honor to share, you know, meeting with Alcoholics Anonymous. My sobriety date is May 24th, 1988. So I just recently celebrated 38 years of sobriety. My sponsor is Gary A. And then my home group is Quality of Life. That always sounds so much better live than it does on Zoom over here. And hi to my Zoom people. But thank you for your share. That was awesome. That was awesome.

I mean, I can relate to a lot of it, like the growing up and stuff. I had the alcoholic parents and my Sundays were spent at a bar in Southgate. I was shooting pool when I was growing up. So I never went to church or anything. You know, they were getting drunk and I was shooting pool drinking Shirley Temples or whatever it was back then and all that stuff. But thank you for your share. So I want to thank my friend Genesis for coming out to hear me tonight. We work together, you know, and it's just sort of a dynamic thing. We got the old person, the experienced, and the

young person bringing up all these new ideas and all this stuff. And so we really make a pretty good team together. I would have never thought that, you know, I would have never thought that. But here we just, we just click and it's just really cool and all this stuff. So thanks for coming up here with me. So in a general way, I'm gonna tell you what it was like, what happened and what it's like today. And I won't talk too much about my childhood. It was pretty crappy. You know, a lot of you have had it worse. But you know, I had alcoholic parents, my stepfather, my mom, and they pretty much did their own thing. And

we were left alone. So you know, if we wanted to eat, you know, we went out and stole our own food. If we wanted to eat, I grew up in Van Nuys. I was born in Van Nuys. So it used to be a piggly wiggly. That was my favorite little story. I used to go in there and I just ripped the shit out of that place. Because if we wanted to eat, that's what we did, because they weren't going to do anything, our parents. And they were so uninformed. Like when I was telling Genesis, I went by, I was thrown out of that school, you know, Newcastle Elementary, and they didn't even know that I was gone. You know, I just got on my bike, went right down to Reseda Park and all that. And they had no clue I was

suspended. They didn't, they didn't care or anything. But that's not why I'm an alcoholic. I'm

an alcoholic, because when I drink alcohol, I don't stop. And I have no control over my life. So you

know, it's just going through that. That was my childhood. And then when I was 17, I moved out

and got my own place, well not my own place, live with, you know, three other people. And we just

built an apartment in North Hollywood and just started really just partying, you know, just

started partying. Just, I had a job. I always had a job. That was, that ties into what I'll get to

later. But you know, I had a job. And so we'd just party and get drunk.

All this stuff. And then when I was 20, this would have been in 1954, to be 74, I decided I

was tired of working. I just, I want to retire. So I quit, I quit my job. I got a backpack and

I hitchhiked and took the Greyhound bus and went across the country. I was gone for nine weeks.

And if it was me against the United States, you know, age 20. And I had fun. You know, I had fun.

I just sat there. And back then, a lot of the states, the drinking age was 18. So if I went

into one state, the drinking age was 21. I got out of there fast.

And Florida was 18. New York was the best. Drinking age 18, the bar stayed open until 4 a.m.

So I, so I sat there and I was in New York for like, maybe almost a month. Because I knew some

people there. And so I just sat there and hung out there. I was at a place called Port Jefferson

Station out in Long Island. Until I got thrown out of there, the cops pretty much said, hey,

if you don't leave, we're going to arrest you. Because, you know, things were a lot lenient

back then too, in the 70s and stuff. You know, not a lot of his today. But, so I left and came

back here. And then all of a sudden, you know, I was broke again.

So I got, I got another job. And I decided, I was always one of those type of people.

If I was here, I was better off there. You know, if I'm here, I'm there. If I'm with

this person, I'm better with that person. So I was, I got this other job and I ended

up getting married. And I was the alcoholic drug addict. And she was a Jehovah's Witness.

I don't know a lot of Spanish, but I know no bueno for her, for her. I put that girl

through hell, you know, just hell. I think she thought she could save me or something.

But I was just a wild guy out there, you know.

Just a, I didn't, I didn't like people. I grew up really hating people. I mean, I just

had a disdain for people. You know, I think growing up with the last name of Bounce, red

hair, my thing, whatever. I just always had, I had boulders on my shoulder. I didn't have

chips. I had boulders. And I was just pissed off at everybody. I didn't like anybody. I

was also cold. You know, I could sit there and say something and do something. And it

didn't faze me one bit if I offended you. And this is when I was younger too. I just

didn't care. I didn't care at all. So I just would have, so here I'm with this person and

I remember we got married in 1976. And in 1980, we were in the courts over here in Van

IJs. And I remember this like it was yesterday. She just told the judge, I don't want no alimony.

I just never want to effing see him again. And this is a Jehovah's Witness, you know,

cussing like that. So I used to joke, if we're going to piss, you know, if you're going to

get divorced, piss them off so bad, they don't want alimony from you. Bad joke. Bad joke.

But anyway, but I just sat there and I thought, okay, now this gave me more freedom. And so

in my twenties, I just realized, you know, I don't want alimony. I don't want alimony.

I just ran rampant. I sat there and I got into a few situations. Drugs are a big part

of my story. You know, I got hooked up with a few different organizations that weren't

the, weren't the best ones around and stuff. And so I, I used to call myself the self-proclaimed

King of Van IJs. My little operation, I brought Genesis by my own apartment where I used to

do my stuff out of. I was like, let me give you the tour. Went by this little place, went

by this place in Hazeltown. I said, oh yeah, they used to come back here and I'd do this,

do that. And I've given her a little tour and all that stuff. And, and yeah, and I used

to, you know, I had a little cartel thing and then the angels a little bit. I mean,

I, I was with some rough people and I'm really grateful that I'm here alive today. Really

grateful. And so, you know, I went through that and all this stuff, but I never knew

I was alcoholic because I always had a job. The one thing I could keep was my job. I always

had a job at the local newspaper. I, I was actually able to get myself promoted to a

certain position where you can go without having a degree.

As a good worker, I was just a screw up too. So I never thought of myself as an alcoholic.

I just knew I drank too much. I wasn't stupid, but I knew that I, uh, I didn't think I was

an alcoholic. So I just lived my life that way. I was just, uh, I get up and go to work

and then I started working nights. I worked nights for 19 years because I figured then

I had to deal with people, which like I said, I hated people. So when I worked nights, it

was cool. But you know, we'd sit there and the hardest thing to do at night was make sure

you got to the bars or the, or the thing. And I was a truck driver too for the paper, but

we all had to go and get our alcohol before 2 AM and then we could finish our routes and

all this stuff.

So we're all cruising around here in a local newspaper, all hammered and all this stuff,

you know, but Hey, it is what it is. And then just, that's just how I live my life. And

I would say, okay, I'm not going to drink today. And so that would last until I got

off work. And then I go, I feel okay. I can just go have one. I just go have one. And

next you know, that one turned into whatever. And then here, and then like I said, since

I was working nights, I'm already hammering and it's noon from like 6 AM to noon. And I'm

doing, and so then I try to sleep a little bit. And then my days got to a point where

these had a lot of strip joints there on Parthenia there in Sepulveda. Other people would know

where they're at, but anyway, maybe you'll grow. I don't know. So that was pretty much

my day. I'd go over to the strip joints and sit there and drink and do whatever, and then

head on off to work, you know, and I just did that. And that was my life. And then I

finally got demoted from work. Cause they pretty much said, if you don't, you know,

you know, we can't do this anymore. So they sent me, sentenced me to one of these EAP programs.

The first time I went there, the people are talking to me and I don't know where this

came from because I'd never heard about Alcoholics Anonymous before or anything, but I listened

to this person talk and I go, do you drink? And they said, no, no, no. I got this, you

know, I'm college educated. And it just turned me off. I just like, well, what am I listening

to you for? You don't, you don't, you don't know anything about alcoholism. You don't

drink and all this stuff. And I don't know why that fazed me. And then they sent, then

I had to go to CORE for a couple of 502s. And like back then they were real simple back

then. Now they're like a, like a super expensive thing.

They got super expensive, but most of the time they got dropped. The rest was like a

hundred bucks. I remember I got arrested at Anaheim one time. I was one of those guys

that had an angel game, slid in the third base after a game. And then I, then I got

charged with assault and battery afterwards. And so I got, I got hauled into the Anaheim

house. I sort of took care of somebody. And then another time I got arrested, Van Ey.

They used to do chokeholds. So I had a, I had a chokehold and Van Ey. I was all proud

of this stuff, you know, because like I said, I didn't care and I didn't care what I said.

So I was just say shit to people or cops. I didn't care who they were. You know, I had

my hands behind my back. Cause I've just called them cowards and, you know, pantyways. Yeah.

You're real tough. You know, you're real tough. And my hands tied behind my back. Why don't

you just, you know, let me go. But next thing you know, you got five cops on me kicking

my ass. So, but anyway, you know, it was just, that's just how I lived my life. And, and

then things started to get worse and worse. And then all of a sudden I started losing

the apartment and I lost that other import export job because unfortunately most of the

import stuff was being exported out of different areas. And next thing you know, I was broke

and then I was running from certain people and it was like, no, this isn't good. And

so I ended up flopping on people's couches and here I have this good job, the newspaper,

the daily news, but here I am flopping on people's couches because I just couldn't keep

my apartment. And so, uh, then they get tired of my shit and they would throw me out. Then

I go, well, I'm just going to live in my truck. I don't care. Live in my truck. And then it

got repossessed. So then I go, so not dead at all. I hear all this shit. I don't care.

Here I am. I'm 30 years old, 31 years old or something, sleeping on my mom's couch in

North Hollywood. I'm thinking, well, I'm running a department for the paper. It's like, this

is pretty pathetic. But like I said, I wasn't an alcoholic because I wasn't living on 5th

and Main and I had a job. So I just go, okay, I'll get through this. So I just kept with

the, like I said, I can go through more horror stories, but I know we've all been there and

did all that stuff. And then another time I got arrested for a 502. This was in 1986

and they sentenced me to Alcoholics Anonymous. What the fuck?

AA. And then it was funny too. You know, they used to have those rehab, you know, those

classes you have to go to. I used to always see these people standing on Oxnard and Sepulveda,

you know, smoking cigarettes and going, who are these people? And now, well, I became

one of them. You know, also now I know why these people are here. And so I went to a

meeting, Radford, sat there, 31 years old going, this is pathetic. All these fucking

losers. Oh, sorry. I confused Tuesday with Saturday. Sorry. That won't happen again.

Uh, I saw these, you know, I'm sitting there looking at these people out there. They all,

they seem old, fat, bald. And I'm going, I'm really in the losers club. And then my brain

started thinking, wait a second, this is anonymous. So I took my court card to the bar. I said,

Hey, can you guys just sign your name? First name, last initial, don't spill any beer on

it. So I had my court card filled out at the bar and turned it in. And of course the judge,

I was all proud of myself. I beat the system, but then things just started to get worse.

And worse and worse. And then, uh, I used to drink at this one bar. It used to be called

Bourbon Square over there on, uh, Sepulveda and Victory. It's not there anymore. It's

a Jiffy Lube. I shouldn't show her one of my old bars. That was a stinking Jiffy Lube.

And so anyway, I was there and the bartender there, she goes, Richard, you ever tried Alcoholics

Anonymous? This is the bartender. And I go, no, I don't need that. I tried it once. You

know, that was my one experience. I, you know, I, then she shared that her husband who was

in prison got sober and, uh, through AA and all this stuff. So I was like, well, I'm going

to do this. So I said, okay. And so I signed up for the EAP program again at the newspaper,

but this time it was run by an alcoholic. And so he just, he made sense. And so I started

listening to him, but I still wasn't convinced I was alcohol. I just figured, okay, I got

to keep my job and all this other stuff. I'll go to this thing. So then they had me go in

the meetings. So I started going to this place. Now this was May 24th, 1988. I walked into

a place called Unit A. It was on Lancashire at the time. And I walked in there, 7 AM meeting

and I'm looking around.

And they have all this stuff on the walls. And I, you know, I smoked back then and you

could smoke in the room. So I went and sat in the corner and I just thought, my life's

sober. What do sober people do? You know, I'm going to be bored to death. You know,

I don't, what do sober people do? I had no idea what they did. But so I just sat there.

I never raised my hand. And if you're here tonight and you're new and you don't want

to be here, that's okay. Cause that was my story. And so I didn't raise my hand. I just

sat there, got my thing signed, came back the next day, sat there feeling so good. I

was just going to kill myself. If this is going to be my life, watching TV and what,

going to church. I don't know. I never did either. I never was a TV person either. But

then I started going and all of a sudden my brain was clearing a little bit. And then

this was the whole key for me. I started listening to the similarities instead of the differences.

And I went, wow, I guess I'm an alcoholic whether I want to be or not, you know? And

so it was that time. And I don't remember if it was 25, 30 days, somewhere in that range.

It was the first time I actually raised my hand as an alcoholic.

It was the first time I really admitted to my innermost self that I was alcoholic. And

so I finally did step one. And then I just started to feel better. You know, all of a

sudden I started realizing when I had 30 days or 40 days, whatever, that, uh, wow, I hadn't

been arrested in 40 days. I remember where I was the previous 40 nights, you know, cause

I was a blackout drinker. You know, my normal thing was I would go into a bar the next day

and go, how was I? And then they would go, oh, you were just drunk. I go, okay. You know,

there was another time, like I say, you can do a lot of fights. There was this big, there

was a cowboy bar.

On Sherman Way in Woodman. Used to go over there. It was called Little Nashville. I think

that was the name of it. And I got into a fight one time there. And I guess I had broken

my ankle, but you know, I'm not going to stop me. They tried, my friends tried to pull me

out and it's just, and so I said, I said, I said, screw it. So I'm going to go back

into the thing. So I went back in on my broken ankle and continued the fight. And then I

wouldn't go to the hospital. So then I woke up the next day and I, what's wrong with my

ankle? And I looked at the little throbbing thing there and all that. So I'm getting that

done. But that didn't stop me. Here I was on the ninth floor of Kaiser, the Panorama

City, smoking, drinking, had my, you know, just sitting there thinking, okay, I'm going

to get those people. That's all I thought about was revenge. That's what I thought about

what I was going to do to get back at them. But, uh, I don't do that today. So I'm going

to the meetings. And then for me, I think it was 45 days I had to go get it signed.

And so when I went there on day 46, I didn't have to be there. And I thought, okay, I guess

I, this is cool because now I'm here the first time that I didn't have to be here.

You know, the other 45 days I needed signatures and all that, but I didn't have to be here.

And then I just started to meet people. Like I said, we're in May. And then the guys there

at unit A, they say, Hey, we're going to go to a Dodger game. You can't go to a Dodger

game, Silver. Come on. I've been thrown out of Dodger Stadium so many times and, or Rams

and all this, you know, I guess throwing out the same Rams game twice, the same game. But

I went to the game and had fun. Didn't start a fight. I, uh, remember being there and actually

had a good time. I was one of those kind of fans. I always wore the opposite team's hat.

Just, just to start a fight. You know, that's all I want to do. I just want to start a fight.

And so, uh, yeah, Dick was appropriate. My, my nickname. But anyway, uh, but then I just

started to have fun and just started doing things. But then I got into, then I found

a beat in the San Fernando Valley. The one thing I was, was I was a good athlete. So

I signed up, I was playing on the sober softball league and I was doing sober skiing. And then

there was a bowling league that they had started at the Granada Hills bowl. And you know, in

1989 and 1990, I got a job at the Granada Hills bowl. And I was a good athlete. I was a good

kiddie. I got the certificate for the bowler with the gutter, but the biggest gutter mouth

two years in a row. And you know, I still had those certificates at home. So I'm really

a lot better than I was really a lot better. I apologize for the couple of times, but yeah,

I still had those certificates at home. But anyway, uh, so I was doing that and I was

having all this fun, you know, I was like, wow, this sobriety is not bad, but I was still

miserable inside. Like I said, I still hated people and I just, I was miserable. And then

it was brought to my attention.

Well, if you maybe work these steps, you know, you're going to be a good athlete.

If you work these steps, you know, you might come a better, you know, better person. You

know, you're, you're having fun, but you know, you're not, you're not improving yourself.

So then I was able to do the first step, but then the second step was really hard because

I thought, okay, you know, I never went to church or any of that stuff. I wasn't pro

God, anti-God or anything. I just never went to church. I didn't think about it. And so

I remember that this guy came up to me, he says, Richard, look at the first word and

the second step. He said, came to believe. Didn't say you have to believe you must believe

you will. It said, came to believe.

So I sat down, relax, don't drink and let it happen. And then eventually I came to believe

in a power greater myself, who I call God, who's my higher power today. And then I was

doing the other steps. And you know, of course when I got to four and five, since I didn't

trust people, I had over two years, two and a half years before I finally did my fifth

step. So, you know, it wasn't a 30 day wonder and I wasn't going to go out there and do

it right away, but I didn't, didn't trust anybody. And there was no way I was going

to read this thing. I had an apartment by myself and I was still hiding my four step

in my apartment.

Cause I thought somebody might see it.

It wasn't anything weird or anything.

It was just, I just didn't want people to know my business. And so I sponsored at the

time.

He said, Richard, enough. He took me in the car. We went onto the five freeway. He said,

we're going to drive north. You're going to read this thing. And then when you're done,

we'll do the six step and we're going to come back. I think we got somewhere outside of

Bakersfield or something when I was finally finished. And then we stopped and turned around

and came back. And then he shared his experiences based on what I had said and all this stuff.

And so I really felt like at that point now I'm really in the program. You know, it was

really, I'm starting to trust people.

I still had this thing about trust and uh, I just didn't trust people. And so I was, you

know, things are going well and all this stuff and you know, job, I got, you know, I got

my job back to promotion and all this stuff. And then I bought my house. I brought Genesis

by house, my little house I bought on Densmore. It was a little 900 square foot home, which

was big enough for me because I made sure I just had something that I could afford on

my own. I didn't want to, I never depended on other people. That's just cause I was brought

up. I wasn't going to rely on anybody else. So I brought it, bought this little house,

plenty big enough for me.

And I had a good time. And then, uh, somebody asked me to be security at this event, New

Year's Eve event down at Redondo beach. I said, okay, yeah, whatever. It was a Pacific

group thing. I said, yeah, I'll go. I don't care. And then I met her. And then, uh, this

year in September, we're coming down 30 years marriage, you know, which is a miracle considering

I'm not the easiest person to live with, but, uh, you know, so we're, you know, I met Jackie

and then, uh, we ended up getting married in 1996. Like I said, in September, we'll

have 30 years and it's just, it's just a miracle of the program because.

Yeah.

It's fair. I was going to be by myself, you know, and just live by myself and, and just

how it was, you know, and I didn't really any other way. So, you know, so we're doing

good and this time too, I'm working the steps. I'm to the best of my ability. I have sponsees,

you know, I'm doing a program. I'm like, I said, I'm not a big book thumper or whatever,

but you know, I'm not really a very good reader either. I'm a lousy reader. So my sponsor

would have me just read one or two pages a day. And he says, if you do that, you're going

to get through the book a couple of times a year. And so that's what I do even today.

You know, I just, like I said, not going to school when I was younger, no excuses.

I just, I'm not a great reader. And so, and I have the dictionary. Well, now I use the

phone, you know, I'm still seeing words in there. I got to look up. What does that mean?

Oh, cool. You know, and all this stuff. And so, and I'm not ashamed to say that I do that.

And then I just, just living life and I was able to, and then my wife's daughter got married

and moved up to this place called Apple Valley. Apple where? You know, so we were driving

up there and then she said, Richard, I got to be near my daughter. I said, okay. Okay.

Yeah.

So we moved up there in 2002. We're still up there, you know, and I like it. I was able

to start a company up there, a real estate company and, you know, did, did fairly well.

I don't think I would have been able to do that down here, but just, just living life

and I get to be part of the community. And this is all because I'm a sober member of

Alcoholics Anonymous. You know, I get to be part of the community. I used to do a lot

of service when I was down here. I had a panel at a, what's the one in Acton? Well, Wayside

and there's another one in Acton. What? Yeah. Somewhere in there. I used to have a panel

there, a book study there.

Gotcha.

And I used to have one, there's one in Acton too, I think. And then there was one

in Wayside that did that. And so I had, I had my panels and I, and I, you know, I enjoyed

doing that. We used to have one at St. Joseph's Hospital, one of the St. Joseph's in Burbank,

used to go there and stuff. And I really enjoyed that. And then up there, I got more into the

community and so I just started being part of the community, you know, doing events and

helping out. I got into down here, a place called ARC, it's called Activities and Recreation

and Care for Developmentally Disabled Adults.

Yeah.

And so I started volunteering there in 1993. And I just love it. You know, I just loved

it. You know, I love those kids. I don't have any kids myself. So these were like my kids.

And part of my intolerance for people was because I watched, you know, most of them

had Down syndrome. I watched how they struggle, how they, how their work and how they're doing

their stuff and how they're getting by and all. And I got a credential to teach for the

school district for math and English with them. And just to see how they're struggling

and it'd take me like three or four weeks to get three plus three. And then they would

get it. And it was really cool. And they're so proud of themselves. I did basketball and

softball for Special Olympics. And you know, I teach them a play and they'd be all happy

they're playing. I said, okay, now we're gonna do play two. But play two always looked like

play one. So we just stuck with play one, you know, but the one thing that I was able

to do, and this is all because of Alcoholics Anonymous and stuff and was I treated them

like adults because they were adults, even though they, their mentality, they were adults

and their parents, that's what they loved about me. I wasn't tapped on the head. We're

in the basketball court.

We're yelling at them and this and that. And they loved it because that's what coaches

did. And I would look at it with a scorn and they knew they did something wrong. They'd

go take a lap. I didn't even have to tell them to take the lap. They just do. They're

going to go run a lap and all this stuff. And I'm not emotionally, don't get really

emotion that much. But when we moved up here, I ended up quitting my job at the paper because

I really loved working with them. And I became an activity director for the place over there

in North Hollywood. And I had to tell them I was leaving. And I think that's probably

the only time I really broke down. It was just really emotional because before, like

people died or whatever, I didn't care. It never fazed me. Not one bit, but those kids

did. And so now up where I live, there's a place called Rocking Our Disabilities. And

Dana, I was, I've been friends with her. So I talked with her and I told her about my

experience down here. So I've been a board member with them up there and I started their

basketball program up there and we do a lot of stuff. Genesis helps out there and all

stuff. And it's just fun. They all come up to me and those are my new kids. You know,

those are my children. And I just, you know, I just love being with them.

And it's just, it's a lot of fun. And so that's like one of my big joys. And I get

to do that because I'm a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, because if I wasn't,

I wouldn't care, number one. And I definitely wouldn't do stuff like that. And then what's

going on now is so about three years ago, three and a half years ago, I was like, you

know what, I'm 68. I don't want to run an office anymore. I'm going to probably slow

down a little bit. I'm just going to sit there and just shut down my office and go work for

somebody else.

I'm not sure how long I would last working for somebody else. And then when we were this

one other company, it was still pretty independent. So I pretty much could still do what I want.

But then my broker signed on with a franchise. I hated franchises. And so things just started

getting worse. And I just didn't like it there at all. I thought, you know what, if I'm going

to continue to do this, I'm going to go back to doing what I want to do. So I left there

and it wasn't the greatest of terms, but I really didn't care. And then Genesis came

with me. And then I have another couple of other young people that came with me. So we're

starting a brand new real estate company again. And here at 71, you know, I get to start a

real estate company and all this stuff. And we work together. You know, I'm working on

a graphic. That's what I love the youngest, right? 15 minutes. She has this great graphic

flyer. It takes me about 15 days to figure it out. You know, she's got to, we're sitting

in our chat next, you know, how's this look rich and all this stuff. So, you know, I get

to do that and I'm having fun, you know, having fun.

We, my wife and I, we've had season tickets to the Clippers forever and we still have

season tickets for the Clippers. So we go down to the basketball and have fun and we

go down to the football games and I'm not getting thrown out and all this other stuff

and just having fun. And I see the people around me are getting drunk and doing this.

I'm looking, yeah, that used to be me. I used to be that guy at the game being hauled out

for fighting and all this other stuff. But now I just get to have fun. And like I said,

just doing this, though, this new company, I feel like I'm alive again, you know, because

now if I'm going to work, at least I'm having fun. And then another thing, too, I'm a fan

of tattoos. And so I decided I was going to go back to getting some more again. So I had,

so just recently I got a big old dragon on my back. I got a dragon on my back. And then

on Thursday, I got a cobra going to go right here and all this stuff. And hey, that's what

I get to do, right? Lame sobriety. This is sobriety. You know, but it's funny when the

guy was doing the dragon.

He goes, you know, you have brittle skin. I go, brittle, brittle skin. I've been told

a lot of things. You get older and all this stuff because he's done, he's done all my

work. And so now he's a good guy. And he's holding a needle. You think I'm going to punch

him? So anyway, he's going to do my cobra. So I'm excited about it. You know, I know

this is a painful area, but anyway, I don't care. But it's just, you know, it's just fun

to do stuff like that because I used to tell myself, OK, I'm saving up for the future.

Well, guess what? My future is now.

So I'm going to, I'm going to, I spent a whole bunch of money to go see the Metallica

at the Sphere, you know, so I'm going to go there in November and then I'm going to go

see ACDC at the Allegiant. You know, I thought, OK, I got this, I got this extra money now.

Why not? And so, and one place I've always wanted to go to is Portugal. So I'll probably

end up going by myself. My wife does, she won't go overseas, but I'll go by myself because

I'm a loner and I don't care if I go, I can do stuff by myself. I don't care. And so I'm

going to go to Portugal.

I'll be next year sometime. So this is just stuff that, you know, I get to do and it's

because I'm sober because before I'd be sitting in the bar, like if I was on vacation, if

I got paid on Thursday, of course I was broke by Thursday night. And so I would sit there

and lie when I got back to work. Where'd you go? Oh, I did this. I did that. It was a shame

to say what I really did on vacation, but now I really get to go and I get to experience

stuff and I get to remember being there. And, and like I said, it's just real important

that I get to be a, like I said, just a whole different person. And I love what you said

about being a different person because I know I am nowhere near the same person that

I was 33 years, I mean, 38 years ago than I am today. Not even close. I mean, I have

feelings today. I care about people. I can't, I've watched what if I say something to whatever

I will instantly apologize for before I didn't care if I hurt you or not. So I have feelings

today and it's kind of cool that, you know, I get to be that way. And I just, uh, is my

time up? Oh, you have one minute. And so I'm just, uh, really, really excited about being

here. I'm really grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm grateful for this group. You

know, back in the eighties and nineties, I used to go to licensed session and all that

stuff. And then of course I moved and all this stuff. And so up in Apple Valley, when

I saw that this was, you know, be online, I was like, this is great. So now I get to

be part of this group again. And then I became this, this became my home group. And so I

just love quality of life. I love this. I love the structure. I only cussed twice. That's

actually not bad.

The work time isn't on the PMO. I forgot about the other two, but you know,

I, and I love, and you know, it's funny for my birthday, you know, the only calls I got

for my birthday were from people from this group or acknowledgements was from this group.

So that's just, once again, tells me how much I love being, you know, a member of quality

of life and stuff. And like I said, I'm just really honored to be here tonight. And thank

you again, Abraham, you know, for asking me, you know, to share. And it was, it was a no

brainer that I was going to come down here live just to take the cake. And then I get

the share too, you know, at the same time. So this is pretty cool. So anyway, my time's

up. And like I said, thank you all for being here and thank you.