Doing the Deal: A Journey Through Sobriety and LA History

Hi. I'm Butch. I'm an alcoholic. Thank you, Ben. Thanks for the 10 minutes. Great job, you know, meat and potatoes. It's good AA. Do the do. We had a saying in my group for a long time, do the deal. The deal. The deal. Do the deal. You're not doing the deal. Gotta do the deal. I'm doing the deal, you know. And, you know, you gotta do the deal. And then if you weren't doing the deal, you were a shirker. Quit shirking and do the deal, you know.

Like a house band, you know, played at all our little parties and stuff. And they were called the shirkers. But it made me think of that. Yeah, I'm in the Pacific group. I'm sorry about that. No, it's been good to me. It really has. It has. And it's, you know, AA is AA, you know. I hope, whatever, if you're new, you just find whatever works for you. I'm an LA native, born and raised in LA.

Ten years sobriety. I have a sponsor. I have a home group. And, yeah, I grew up on the west side. I always say west side's the best side. This is the first time I heard of quality of life. I just wanted to hear everybody say it. I couldn't figure it out what it was. I'm like, is somebody's hair messed up? You know what I mean? So, yeah, I grew up, you know, I grew up really, you know, I'm 67 years old. So, I was born in 59. The 60s were like, I was just a kid.

Dad would say, hey, you guys want to get in the car and drive up to Sunset Boulevard and look at the hippies, you know? But I was just, like, into music, you know, baseball and rock and roll. And, you know, just grew up in Westchester. I actually lived in Baldwin Hills for a while, and then we moved to Westchester. I didn't want to leave, but, you know, my next-door neighbor got murdered one night, and it wasn't a side. My sister saw her, and, you know, my folks got us out of there. You know, it was Baldwin Hills. It was mixed.

It was, like, 50-50 black and white. And, but it wasn't, it was a white guy that killed the white lady. I'm not saying anything like that. But then we moved to Westchester, and that was like, it was like, I called it Lily White Westchester. But that was right when busing started in LA Unified. There was a lot of busing going on, you know, so, you know, there was people from my school driving all the, you know, going all the way to Dorsey High School and kids coming, you know. There was guys from Reseda going to Crenshaw and Crenshaw to Reseda, you know. But I, and then,

it was kind of a culture shock, but I had already grown up in a 50-50 community. I'd gone all through elementary school, you know. I had friends in my neighborhood, and so it wasn't a big culture shock for me, but it was different than it is today. It was worse. That's my lived experience. But anyhow, everything, Westchester was a totally different thing for me. It was really, like, clean, and, you know, we were probably the poorest people on the block.

We just had working-class parents. They rented a house. Everybody else were homeowners, you know. You know, my dad didn't have a lawnmower. Ours was always the last lawn to get mowed, you know. But they worked, and they provided, and life was okay, you know. I played a lot of baseball, just a lot of sports. I would just leave in the morning, go play baseball. We played baseball all year long. You know, we would shoot bats and everything, but we would just play baseball, you know. But when I was in fourth grade, I was doing really well in school, because I read a lot.

I didn't feel like I was, like, this prodigy or anything. I just read a lot. My mom was from Scotland, and she spent a lot of time in the bomb shelters, and her two brothers died on the beach in Normandy, and she just gave me books about, you know, about World War II, and just continued to give me all kinds of books. So I read. And then I loved baseball so much, I would do all the averages. You didn't have statistics back then. You know, you had to look on your phone and see, you know. They came out, like, once a week, you know. And then they were old.

Three days before for the week, you know. So I always did all the baseball averages. I worked them out myself, all my players. So I was really good at math, and I was a really good reader. So I was finishing all my work really easy. Anyway, I skipped from fourth grade to sixth grade, which I wished I never did. It was like, it wasn't good. I should have stayed where I was. But it was just different. Then I always felt like I had to prove myself to people.

You know, the difference between a 12-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy is, you know, it's like, you're awkward, you know. But I managed to get through there. But I always felt, you know, different. But when I played sports, I played with kids in my grade. I didn't want, like, look, he's playing with the little kid, you know. So I always played. And then, you know, like, it was the 60s, like 69 or something. And you know how, you know, I wasn't at Woodstock, you know. I was, like, everybody was at Woodstock.

Everybody else that was born back then. But I got to keep it tight. 835? 8 what? 25. All right. And then, but, you know, I wasn't the best player on my team. But, I mean, I wasn't the best player in our league. But I was the best player on our team. My last year of playing baseball. And I made the all-star team. And I wasn't the best player on the all-star team. But I was good enough to make the all-star team. And I went in. I was so excited. I thought I made the all-star team. It was a big deal, especially because all the kids were

older than me. And I went in. The coach looked at my hair. I had longer hair. He goes, you know, if you don't get a haircut, you can't play. And you got to cut your hair. And that was the last time I ever played baseball. I chose my hair over baseball. And that was it. And so after that, it was just, like, I don't know. And I went to, you know, I went, you know, I'm in middle school now. They called it junior high back then. It was 7th, 8th, and 9th. LA Unified. You know, high school was, you know.

10, 11, and 12. And it was different. I started smoking pot. You know, I got, you know, introduced to alcohol. There was just a lot of pot around. And I'll talk about drugs a little bit. But I'm an alcoholic. I mean, I have the phenomenon of craving. You know, I have, you know. Everything applies to me in the doctor's opinion and everything in the book. But when you're a teenager back then, it was easier to get weed. And it was easier to get acid.

It was easier to get barbiturates and speed than it was to get alcohol. You can go out, you know, you just, you couldn't get it. And everybody, all my friends and my parents included, all their liquor cabinets were watered down already. You know, we had already told, you know, took all the alcohol. And then, but then my mom was working at this hotel. It was called the Penn and Quill. It was on Rosecrans and PCH in Manhattan Beach. And it was in receivership. And she was just there trying to keep it afloat. But the only thing afloat was this

nightclub called the Turtle Club. And every night, she wasn't getting paid. And she was just, like, she'd come home. She'd have a case of whiskey. Come home the next night, she'd have a case of vodka. So our house was full of alcohol. And it was a pretty popular, I had an older sister. It was a pretty, my garage was pretty popular. And, you know, for the hangout, you know, we'd smoke weed and drink. But that, you know, later on that kind of, you know, there was just, there was a lot of drugs around. And I just started, you know, and alcohol. And I just, I started hanging out really with

my sister's friends, who now are, like, three years older than me. And then they're, you know, they're telling, you know, they're, a lot of people in the neighborhood were breaking into pharmacies. So one day, I was, like, 15 years old. And these kids that were, you know, like, 17, 18, they took me to this pharmacy and gave me a list of stuff. We broke this window. They took me up there. And I went in and I got everything on the list. And that became my career for a long time. I became a pharmacist at the age of 15.

I was a walking PDR. You know, and the quaaludes were popular with the girls. And, and, but, but, yeah, so that, but, you know, along with that came, you know, interaction with law enforcement, you know, so and I'd already been, you know, arrested for just open containers. I mean, they took you to jail for, you know, I don't know how many of you, but I did a year and a day for a joint, you know. So back then, it was, you know, I was a walking PDR.

You know, I was, you know, I was an adult, too. Now, it's like, it's like, I was like, I picked the wrong time to do crime. But, but that pharmacy thing turned into, you know, getting arrested. And then I, you know, I started the jail circuit. Yeah, I know a lot of people share you have the hookers and businessmen. And I'm the convict, you know. But yeah, I started that life that, you know, that vicious circle of the rotating door in and out. And I lived my whole life, just like one release date to the next, you know.

And then, you know, I turned from juvenile hall to county jail to state prison, you know, and, and then from state prison, the terms got longer and longer. And then before I knew it, all my 20s were gone. You know, I was, it was not good. And, and, I mean, but it was always someone else's fault. It was, you know, if they, you know, somebody ratted me off, or that's the one thing when you're dealing with a bunch of drug addicts, and mostly I just sold it, they have a tendency to tell, you know, you know, it's, it's, you know, they, you know, because they're all

sick, and they need to get, you know, they're going to kick, you know, they're going to withdraw, and then, you know, we'll let you out if you, you know, give up somebody. And, you know, so anyway, I was getting, just, I didn't even have to deal with my own fault, my own fault. I was, you know, people were giving me up when I got away with stuff. So, yeah, it's kind of rough when you're getting hit by both sides. But there's no honor amongst thieves, you know. I always thought that's, that was the, that was the, that was the definition of a man, you know, if you, if you did your

time, you know, you didn't back down from a fight, and you, and you kept your mouth shut with the police, you know, it was kind of a distorted sense of reality, you know, and pride, this false pride, you know, disrespecting me, and like, I knew, like, I knew what respect was. But, um, but yeah, it was tough. It was, you know, like I said, before I knew it, all my 20s were gone, you know, I'm in my 30s and stuff. And then I got, you know, my brother, I had a brother 10 years younger than me after, you know,

when I was 10, my mom had a kid. I always said, it was like a year later, they legalized abortion. I always told my brother it was a year too late. But, but, but, yeah, so, yeah, and that kept my parent, my mom preoccupied, really, that's when I was doing all my juvenile stuff. She was had a newborn baby, you know, three year old, four year old in the house, and when I was running around, but my brother had got sober, he started getting in trouble, and he went to

the youth authority, and, uh, but he went to the youth authority, got out, and never went back. He, he landed in AA, and then I, I, you know, he picked me up one day. I got out the day before, and he goes, we're going to the yard. I'm like, what do you mean the yard? And he, and he took me to Clancy's house, and I was just like, oh my gosh, what a, you know, I remember that day, I, you know, I went to, went to, to, to, went to the yard, and we played bass, softball all day. Then we went to a meeting at night, and after the meeting, they had a five-year party for someone, where someone turns five,

five years, they read cards and thing, and then after the, and the whole time, I'm telling my brother, are the girls that were playing volleyball at the yard going to meet at the party? Because that's the only thing that was on my mind at that time. Yeah, they'll be, and I get there, I'm like, what's going on here? It's after the meeting. I'm like, and then they had the party, I'm like, this is the stupidest party I've ever been to. Then we went to a watch afterwards, you know what I mean? We watched, stood around and watched somebody turn a year sober, and I was like, and then all that time, all these people are coming up to me, how you doing?

And I was trying to introduce myself as Alan, because nobody knew me as Alan. I wanted to kind of ditch the prison, the Butch name, and then my brother's just following around, his name's Butch, his name's Butch, you know? And anyway, yeah, but that night, after the watch, we sat around, I remember that night, you know, I was late, you know, I probably drank 25 cups of coffee that day, met hundreds of people, did all those activities. I remember just laying there, all, you know, thinking, you know, you know, I realized, you know, I didn't want to get sober.

I didn't want to get sober and everything, but I realized for the first time in my life, you know, prison wasn't really that bad, you know? So I went back. I stuck it out as long as I could, you know, because my case was different, and you didn't understand. You just didn't understand. And that's the worst two things for a new alcoholic, is thinking your case is different, and that, you know, the AA members don't understand, you know?

But I've learned after, you know, some really hard and trying times that,

my case isn't different. I heard this guy, Scott Redman, I'm sure some of you, he said at a meeting one night, he goes, for everybody in here that killed a puppy, there's someone that killed two puppies. And for some reason, that resonated with me, like, you know, I just thought, you know, whatever I think I am, you know, a legend in my own mind, you know, there's somebody that's had it worse, or did more time than me, or is tougher than me, or smarter than me, or whatever. But it was a little just baby steps for me, but I, there was punishment involved, you know?

So I,

I ended up getting arrested, you know, and going back to prison. I got seven years for, for, for breaking into a garage. And, and by, by this time, I, I, you know, I had, I had went to this, I had, when I, before I came, I was in a halfway house before I got sober and came to the group, tried to get sober. And I learned a plumbing trade. I went to a pre-apprentice school, and I was working as a plumber. And, and so I had a little, you know, I had, so, so I got locked up, you know, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I,

I got locked up again. And, and then, so I'm in jail, I'm back in prison. I'm doing, I'm doing four years. And, and I got a job as a, as in the prison industries as a, as a plumber. And I did that for four years for 75 cents an hour. And that was good money back then in there. But, yeah, but the whole time I was in there, it was like Monday night, I knew that everybody was there Monday night at Ohio. I knew on Tuesday night, all those people were at the big book study. And Wednesday night, they were at the big meeting. Thursday, they were at the key group. And it's different than when you're in church. And I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

When you have, God, I could have had this life here, but I chose this life.

And then it's different when you're just like, you know, I made a choice.

I don't have to be here anymore.

And, you know, I read the big book.

I did the whole thing in there.

I couldn't wait to get out.

I did my four years.

I had met a girl in AA, and we did the damn, you know, AA boy meets AA girl on the AA campus thing, you know.

I like to say I was just walking at the meeting and eating a chocolate bar, and I bumped into her.

She was, you know, eating a jar of peanut butter.

And the next thing we know, you know, it was, but she waited for me for four years, left me a few times.

And I got out.

We got married.

After I got out, everybody said, don't, don't, don't get married.

But we did.

We were married for 20 years, had three kids.

But 10 years into the marriage, she found Jesus, and the dynamic changed as a family.

By now, we have three kids.

They're all, you know.

Elementary school.

They're young, you know, like two, four, and six.

And that changed a little bit.

And then we had some financial things during the, during the big, the, I had moved out.

We had moved to San Francisco, moved to Vegas.

And we went to San Francisco.

I crafted my trade.

I really learned how to be a plumber.

I mean, it's a lot of critical thinking up there.

It's not just like build a house.

There's all these buildings right up against each other.

They're old.

You have to fix things.

And I learned how to do that.

And we had our firstborn.

Then we moved to Vegas.

And I started doing high-rise to hotel work.

Did like a Venetian.

And I did the Wynn Hotel from a hole in the ground to opening day.

I did a, you know, 10-inch water mains, 24-inch train pipes.

And did this big mechanical room.

And by then, I was, I was pretty qualified.

And then one day, I was at the Wynn.

And I had 11 years sober at this time.

And I fell 15 feet and landed on my butt.

And I was in midair going, this isn't going to be good.

You know, I swear I thought that.

I'm like, this isn't going to be good.

And then, bam, I landed on this metal decking.

And I just had this excruciating pain throughout my whole body.

And I was just waiting, you know, for it to subside.

Like you bang your funny bone or something.

And I waited.

And I waited.

And I'm way up on this roof.

I fell from a roof to a roof.

And I ended up, I had a radio.

I was a foreman.

And I called one of the helpers to come and get.

I didn't say it.

I just said, bring a scissor lift over here.

I'm up there.

I'm up on this roof.

And he took me down.

But I broke my back.

And they gave me some Oxycontin.

And, you know, I mean, get one every four hours.

Why can't you crush it up and come on faster, you know?

So that turned into that spiral, man.

I was just home, you know, miserable with a bunch of pills.

And I lost 11 years of sobriety.

And then we ended up moving back to L.A.

And I raised my hand.

I did, you know, all that.

But by now, she's not in A anymore.

It's church 24-7.

Bible studies, all that.

I get home from work.

We got three kids now.

It's like, I got the kids.

And she goes right upstairs to her Bible study.

And even though it sounds like I'm resentful, I probably still have a little bit.

We're friends today.

I wouldn't be sober today.

I wouldn't have the life I have.

I'd be locked up or dead, you know.

So I know that.

And she knows it, too.

And most of the people in my life know that.

But it just, and then I started going out again.

I put four years together.

And I've had some kidney stones and got some medication.

And then I put seven years together.

And by then, I'm miserable in the marriage now.

It's just not working.

It's tough.

Everything's about Jesus.

And I got to enforce all the rules with the kids.

And it's just a crazy dynamic.

And I wasn't happy.

But I wasn't doing anything about it.

That's the thing.

There was a solution to all that.

But now I'm way out in Thousand Oaks.

All my friends are on the west side.

And I'm like, if I can't go to the Pacific Group, I'm not going to a meeting.

So that'll work.

And if it doesn't, I'll die trying, you know.

So anyways, then I went out again with seven years.

And she had warned me.

And she asked me to leave the house.

And there I was.

That was 10 years ago and like 10 days ago.

You know, I'm home.

My kids, I'm out of the house.

And not only that, she fished in the court for supervised visits for me.

He's an ex-convict and he can't stay.

So she's played it, I mean, came down really hard, like ruthless.

And three and a half years, I had to visit my kid at the bowling alley, at the park, at a restaurant.

It was bad.

But it's a pain I'll never forget.

I'll tell you that.

But today, you know, I have a really good relationship with those kids.

They come to my house every Monday night.

They're all coming to dinner every day.

Every Monday night.

And she's remarried.

And she got everything.

I got my plumbing business.

By then, I had started my own business.

She had the kids, you know, I paid the child support.

I paid the alimony.

And it was hard.

It was more money than I was making.

I had to really, like, I couldn't make it.

I was broke every week.

And with the court, I just, I didn't win with the court.

And every time I went back, every six months to ask to see my kids, they would say no.

And finally, I go, you know what, you're treating me like a child molester.

And I said, you're honoring a child molester.

A child molester has more rights than me, you know.

And then she finally goes, all right, be careful what you ask for.

The kids are free.

You know, she ordered the kids were free to see me if they wanted to.

She didn't make any orders or anything like that.

But you know, I just, I just stayed the course.

You know, that's all.

That's all my sponsor told me during all that.

Stay the course.

Stay the course.

So I just stayed the course, you know, and, and, you know, and I went to meetings and

I, you know, and I remember that first meeting.

Am I?

I was with my pastor, who was really good guy, really wise, has 40 years sober.

He told me the whole time he called me one time, he goes, Hey, but you know, your life's

doing, you're doing, I was thinking about you.

And you know, your life's doing, you're doing really good.

You got all this stuff.

And this is the time you usually get into trouble.

And then I'm thinking, yeah, you're about four days too late.

You know, I had got these kidney stones again and anyways, so he, you know, I had kind of

violated that relationship.

And he says he didn't fire me.

But I knew, you know, I probably needed, and I was standing in the back of the Wednesday

night meeting.

No, and I got it.

I got one day sober.

I got to go and raise my hand.

I go, and I just said, just go down there, raise your hand and be a newcomer.

You know?

So, you know, I had, I had the 11 years, I had the four years, I had the seven years.

Now I got 10 years.

And if you add it all together, it comes out to 10 years, 10 years.

That's what it comes out to.

That's what I have.

And I love my 10 years.

Um, and, uh, so, so now, um, you know, lately, so that, that all happened, I had to start

all over.

I had nothing but my truck and my tools.

She made sure I had that, um, and, um, but she's the mother of my children.

Like I said, I, you know, I wouldn't be sober today and slowly that's worked itself out.

You know, I'm always have love for her.

She's, you know, she, she was the mother of my children and all that, but she's remarried.

I'm so happy for her.

She's got a great guy.

He's taking care of her.

She's not, I don't have to worry about it.

I don't have to pay child support or alimony anymore.

And then, and then I was kind of just, you know, settled on, um, just, I was getting

used to being single.

I tried the dating scene and stuff and, and, you know, I was like just working so hard

and I was more worried about just building my relationship with the kids.

And it just, uh, it, I just pretty much did that and just did a lot of AA and just hung

out with the boys.

And then I did more AA and then COVID happened and, and my sponsor at the time, Nathan started

a meeting in his backyard, like the day after the shutdown.

And we started a little meeting called the COVID Conspirators and we met every Tuesday.

We met every Tuesday.

Then we met every Friday and there was like a rotating thing of seven to 20 people every

Tuesday and Friday.

And we did, we just did the 12 and 12, 12, we read the 12 and 12, once every, every week,

every meeting we did one step.

And then on the next day, we met again.

We went on to the next step and then we do the traditions and we did that.

And then once COVID opened up, there was a group in Ohio street on Tuesday night that

didn't want to go back.

They wanted to stay on zoom.

And we, we took the Tuesday night meeting and then we called it the COVID Conspirators

and everybody had a, you know, the, had a fit that we couldn't call it that they wouldn't

put us in the directory.

They wouldn't do it.

And everybody was like, you got to change the name.

And I'm like, you know, in one year, nobody's going to care about that.

It's going to be so insignificant.

And it is.

Yeah.

There's a little sign that hangs in our PG 12 and 12 group is, is we have a little COVID

Conspirators sign.

And yeah, we got a bunch of t-shirts that say COVID Conspirators, but that, that was

a, I never wanted to go to men's stags.

I'd spent enough time around men, you know, I don't, I'm not going, I'm going to hang

out a bunch of lame dudes talking about, you know, stupid stuff.

I'm like, you know, and, but, but that, that was a, it was a men's, it turned into a men's

meeting.

He sent an email out, you know, every, you know, the first day of the week, you know,

if the first 10 people can come every day, and then it just opened it up, but it was

all men that showed up.

And then, and, and I knew all the, most of the guys for a long time from, you know, they

had seen me come from prison twice, you know, some of them, I knew these guys and they knew

my story.

They knew my, you know, I knew their wives.

They knew my, you know, I knew them all before any of us got married and had kids and stuff.

And then, but we were just friends, but just slowly, you know, we started opening up about

our lives, which, you know, we had never done.

It was.

I just didn't know these guys in the meeting.

I knew them outside.

We did stuff together for, for years.

And that was the turning point of my life, really.

That's when AA, I just, I got it, you know, I got it that my case isn't different.

And you do understand a couple of the guys in the, in the meeting dot, you know, one

kid overdosed.

Another one, another guy, these guys, kids were like, he was like 25 or something, man,

from Chicago in a recovery house.

And you know, we, we, and it was a, but we did that.

And then.

And you know, I mean, some of the, a lot of the guys from that group were in this fantasy

football league together.

We have been for like, we've, I think I've been in there for 26 years.

Like we just picked teams.

It was before they had fantasy.

We had our own little thing and best record of our combined teams and stuff.

And Genevieve was the first woman that got, I've known Genevieve 23 years.

So and then and we've been friends for 23 years and we're in the, she's on another team

during football season.

And we talk smack back and forth and all that, and we have our meetings and we have a Super

bowl party.

And that's just a tradition outside of PG.

If I don't know if you're the one thing about Pacific group, man, you can stay busy.

If you, if you need to stay busy, you know, you know, you go there and you'll stay busy

and it keeps you out of your head and action is a big thing there.

So we, we do that same kind of stuff.

Like we're going to Yosemite, like 30 of us, you know, I've, this is the fifth year I've

gone and my kids are gone.

We're all going up there.

Some of the same things.

Some of the same guys from the COVID conspirators and from the, from the DDFs for our football

thing.

But then one of the guys on our football thing said, I got two tickets to the Dodger game.

Anybody want them with parking?

And then we know he's got tickets behind home plate.

And then I'm thinking, I'm like, nah, I'm in my pajamas.

I'm like, I'm staying in my pajamas all day.

I need, got billing to do.

Just one of those Sundays.

I didn't have to do anything.

Just going to do paperwork and probably watch the game.

And then Genevieve said, I'll take them.

And I'm like, lucky Genevieve.

Another while later, she comes back like, does anybody want to go with me?

Because once you take the tickets, you got to go.

You can't say I'll take the two tickets in parking and not go to the game, right?

So not if you're working a good program.

And then she's like, will anybody go?

And then I felt bad for her because I know, you know, I did and then I, so I said, I text,

I go, call me in an hour, text me in an hour because I'm figuring if I get some paperwork

done, like I got to drive all the way from West Hills to Santa Monica, pick her up, go

all the way to Dodger Stadium, take her back to Santa Monica and then go back to West Hills.

I'm like, you know, no, but I felt bad for her and I'm a, I'm a sucker for real.

But anyway, she called me and she goes, please, you know, I thought she just wanted me to

go on a date to the game.

She was begging me for a date, but no, I'm kidding.

She was just like, she took the tickets and she called all her friends and I'm like, all

right, I'll go with you.

And then I thought about it.

I go, you know what?

I'll make it a practice date.

All joking aside.

That's what I thought.

I went with her because I knew she had the tickets and I could do it.

And you know, that's what we do.

I go, you know, so I picked her up and I opened the door for her.

She went and got food.

I didn't even know you could take food in Dodger Stadium.

She got me a big clear plastic container full of meat and potatoes and veggies and I was,

and then we went to the game and then the whole time, you know, like this is fun.

And then I took her home and, and, and I went home and a couple of days later I was thinking

about it and she, she's got, you know, at the time she had like 20 years and I had,

you know, like seven years or something.

But then I just text her.

I go.

I was, I had a lot of fun.

Let me know if you ever want to hang out, you know, I said that in a way where she could

reject me without rejecting, she could say, I would love to, but I'm so busy.

Oh yeah.

I totally get it.

Or she could say yes.

So as I thought she was going to say one or the other, she's like, what do you mean by

hang out?

So then, yeah.

So I didn't know what to say.

You know, cause I'm awkward.

I've been, you know, I've been in with, you know, you know, I'm just awkward.

I'm not dating scene guy.

I'm, I'm a, you know.

One thing about all my character defects.

I've always been faithful and loyal to, in a relationship, probably one of the only qualities

I ever had.

Then I turned into a pretty good father and business owner, but I learned all that from

people in the group, you know, all the guys that had contractors licenses, all the guys

that had kids, all the, you know, and I, you know, you know, I just started doing what

they were doing and I got what they got.

And anyway, so me and Genevieve started dating and it's been over two years now.

And.

And then one day we were in Thanksgiving and meet of your Arizona bought, saw this little

house for sale.

And I said, I wanted to, I looked at something years before and it was really Arizona prices.

It was kind of off the grid, you know, and I ended up getting it like, you know, so that

we go to Arizona a lot.

And then I've been renting this house for nine years and my landlord died.

She was in a assisted living and they used the money and then she wasn't even had her

funeral and, and the kids were looking through the house and I said, Hey, you know, before

you sold the house, we think we can maybe talk and maybe we could work something out.

And by then I had already made some phone calls.

My sponsor ran mortgage division of bank of America with like a hundred people working

for him.

So he knew people he's retired.

So anyways, you know, you know, I, last month I closed on the house.

I bought the house.

They never even listed it and it's just crazy.

I can't even believe, you know, we have a really good relationship.

We got in a little fight today.

Okay.

Yes, we did.

No, not a fight, but we had a little disagreement, but there was no, yeah, little, I think elevated.

But you know what?

We sat down and, and, and we talked it through and we, at the end of the day, we said, well,

we just built some more muscle, you know, we worked out and we built a little muscle

and on the way in driving here, I'm like, aren't you glad we talked that through today?

And she's like, yeah.

And it's like, that's just like this mature behavior that I'm not perfect at it, but I'm

willing to go the extra effort and think how I can be a better person and be better

in the relationship and not just about me and be of service to other people.

And I had my 10 year party.

We had the party.

I had a 10 year party in my buddy's backyard.

There was like 150 people there.

He got a big burger smash, burger truck, and they had a pizza oven, they had a coffee maker

and they brought this other lady had a 55 year party.

But when I looked around the meeting, most of the people were there for me and I'm not

saying that because.

Because I've known these people forever and she's got 55 years, but she left the group

for like 40 years.

But anyway, they were there for us, but there was a lot of people I knew that they weren't

there because their sponsor told them to be there, you know, and, and my kids showed up,

you know, and they were there and yeah, and I couldn't hold it together.

I'm doing it now though.

You know, I can, I'm not jerking no tears out.

So I gotta get control of that, man.

You guys think I'm soft.

I'm a convict.

Show me some respect.

I have a good life today.

I really do.

I'm a convict.

I owe it all to AA, you know, I do, man.

And I know it and I'm willing to work hard, you know, I'm willing to ask people for help

and I'm willing to fight through difficult things without, you know, going off.

So that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

All right.

Thank you.

Thanks for having me.

Great, great group of people here.

It's a good meeting.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.